requested by @CoraEx can you do an imagine with the quote « You still have all of my heart » with Barry Allen being jealous of Oliver Queen that seems very charming, sexy to Y/N. But then, she reasured him with « You still have all of my heart»
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As you were measuring the speed you were going, you turned the music up. "Bad At Love" by Halsey was being played on the radio, and your favorite song had to be heard with all the volume up. This song meant so much to you, it even felt like it was written for you. Ha, you wished though. Halsey writing a song for you?, yeah right. But still, every word seemed to had been written about you. Even the part about the girls. Everything. You truly felt like you were bad at love. I mean, your romantic life and your relationship history are your strong evidence of it. Love seemed to not have been made for you. Only hookups, unrequited love and impossible fictional crushes. Wow, what a life. Well, at least your work life was going well. Yeah, you could be proud of that.
You loved your life, despite every tiny little problem you have daily. It was adventurous, dangerous and spontaneous. Lovely. You loved danger, you loved being needed, and for sure you loved not having a normal life. Normal seemed boring, hell you knew this. But finding Central City was the best remedy for the disease that normal life is. Central City was everything but normal. It seemed at first, but after The Flash appeared, and with him many other metahumas (and problems not even he could handle), the city started to be more interesting. Meeting Barry, later finding out his alter ego, was the best thing it could have ever happen to you. The story of how you got inside the so called Flash Team was way too confusing. You had friendships, crushes, history you wished you could forget. All the ways ended in the same place: you had a position in the team. A position that seemed to had been made just for you. You were the trainer. Barry and Wally, later joined Cait and Cisco, were good at fighting. But you were better. Well, you had to thank Oliver. He really taugh you everything.
And with the thought of Oliver in your head, you stepped on the accelerator and rushed. Star City was still 2 miles away, and the teams were waiting for you.
An hour later you made it to Neverland. Okay, it's not like that. You liked to call it like that. The bunker was impossible to find, impossible to hack, even impossible to reach. It was like the land of nothing, the land of never. Or better called, Neverland. You just love Peter Pan.
You left the car a few streets away, and jogged to the bunker. Once inside, you entered the elevator, and made it just in time to find everybody with a smile on their faces and hugging each other.
"Y/N!" Cisco screamed "...Where have you been, girl?"
"Well, don't forget some of us have a double life. My boss wasn't letting me go without a pile of paperwork. Who sent me to be a real state agent? Fuck me" you responded, exhaling really loud and throwing your backpack to the floor.
"Now you're with us, so forget that Y/N who shows houses and bring us the Y/N who kicks assess" Barry smiled, sweet as always. You half smiled back, and looked down. And in the matter of seconds, you felt awkward. That must be a new record
"Y/N baby I've missed you so bad! We have so much to catch up" Felicity spoke, approaching you and wrapping her arms around you. You hugged back and smiled. She was like a sister to you, you just loved her so much. She grabbed you by the hand and took you to the Arrow Team. It had been like a year or so since the last time you saw them, and you couldn't help but notice it wasn't the same people as always. Felicity noticed your confusion and explained to you, with the little help of her partners, what happened.
You talked and caught up with everybody for hours. You just needed that much time. When the topics started to become random, and the conversations boring, you walked away from the big round and sat on the stairs behind you. From there you had perfect view of Barry, who was talking lively with Joe and Laurel, who wasn't exaclty Laurel but was Laurel and you couldn't understand well. The whole topic about multiple earths was still too hard for you to understand.
There it was, your history you wished you could forget. But you couldn't. How could you, when your past is there with you every day, smiling, helping people, fighting crime, being so fucking adorable meanwhile. You hadn't been able to understand yourself, what was going on inside your head when you thought that secretly dating/fucking daily Barry was a good idea. Fucking daily was a better description, but too vulgar, according to Cisco. But that was what the two of you were doing. At first it was all sex, without meaning or love, just pure lust. But with time, and a lot of time, things got more sensitive, more sentimental. You started caring for each other, started seeing each other differently. You noticed it in you, and had to call it quits. You were falling in love with him. But you couldn't do it. Not when both of you were seeing someone else. You were seeing this sweet guy, a bit shy and a bit awkward, but he was nice and didn't deserve the cheating. Barry was starting things with Iris, but he claimed it was all just a beginning, that nothing was sure. You believed it, until a point. Deep inside you knew they were meant to be. And you couldn't be the reason why Barry wasn't happy. He didn't seem to like the idea at first, but later he forgot. He just forgot all that happened between the two of you. You were hurt but let it go, moved on. After all, you had to work with him every day. Better do it with a smile on your face, or questions were going to start coming out from everybody's mouths.
"So you're never going to tell me what happened between the two of you?" a voice said, bringing you out of your thoughts. You looked up and found the charming mayor of Star City standing in front of you, turning around from time to time to check on Barry. You sighed and shook your head. Oliver used this as a sign to sit next to you. You avoided his stare as much as you could, but it wasn't easy.
"Sex happened, Oli" you liked that you were one of the few people who could call him Oli
"Nothing else?"
"Nope"
"Don't lie to me" now you had to stare at him. You were half mad half shocked. Shocked that he somehow realized and mad because it was so easy for him to read you. He just knew you. You sighed again, defeated.
"I may feel something else. But it's pointless"
"Why?"
"He doesn't feel it back, Oliver. Besides, he just can't stop talking about Iris, how his crush finally liked him back. He is like a fucking teenager. Not even I was like that!" Oliver laughed, and you laughed back. "...I don't care anymore. I'm getting over it" you added, wondering if your words were real or just a lie. Oliver nodded, stood up and offered his hand. You took it and stood up, then followed him, as you two continued talking about Felicity and how his life was going.
You just loved Oliver. He was like you, always wanting to look like a rock without feelings, without weaknesses, but deep down he was scared of losing the people he love. It was just hard to show such intimacy, when you're always the one who has to remain strong for others. But who was being strong for you? That's how Oliver felt, and so did you. All the time, actually. And the only person who understood you was the one and only Mr Queen.
"God, Oliver. I should have come before. I needed to vent with you" you commented, as you poked his cheek. He laughed and pulled your hand away
"I missed you. I do it so much, I hate to admit it" you giggled, and he grabbed your hand. You smiled at him and played with his hand. Meanwhile, your head couldn't stay silent. All thoughts about Barry were drowing your mind, making you feel dizzy. Now and then you would glanced at Barry, who was looking more beautiful than ever. You couldn't describe Barry's beauty. It goes beyond words.
"You are looking better than ever, Y/N" Oliver said, pulling you out of thoughts. You smiled at him
"Please" you started
"No, seriously. You really look more beautiful than the last time I saw you. I can't believe Allen doesn't see this" he continued complimenting you, also making your face turn every time more red. Oliver grabbed your hand again and made you spin, like showing you off. Some of your friends approached the scene, whistling and commenting things like "go, girl!" or "yes mami". You couldn't help but laugh, kinda loving all the attentio. Kinda, though. It wasn't like you loved being under the spotlight. But taking into account your low self-esteem, this was actually quite helpful. Once Oliver let you stop spinning, you noticed the only person who wasn't sharing the moment with you. Far away from the crowd you caught Barry staring at the scene, not so pleased. Your smile faded, but instead of going with him, you decided to make your words be true. You did your best and ignored his angry stare. You really wanted to get over him.
But this didn't last long. Half an hour later you were still conversating with your friends. You were standing next to Oliver, whose arm was around your waist. You had one hand on his shoulder and the other on his chest. Suddenly, a hand gripped your arm and pulled you away from the circle of buddies. Oliver didn't realize, and you were kinda grateful for this when you noticed who grabbed you.
"Barry? What was that?" you asked the speedster, slightly mad. You shook off his grip and caressed the place where Barry grabbed you with strenght
"Okay what's going on bewteen you and Oliver?" Barry asked, even more mad than you
"What's going on-" you paused "...and what do you care? It's not like it's part of your business" Allen rolled his eyes
"I care about you"
"Why?"
"Because I do!" he practically screamed "...Y/N, I still care about you. I can't stop thinking about you! Not ever since you ended our...thing" he took a deep breath "....I haven't been able to forget about you, about us, and I haven't been able to find courage to tell you. I can't find you anywhere, and when I get to see you and you are hanging from Oliver's neck while he is almost kissing all your face. He has you, and doesn't see you as much as I do. I share all my days with you and I can't even get a glance from you. Not even one of your sweet beautiul smiles. I'm just so-" but he couldn't finish. Barry sat down on the same stairs from before and covered his face with his hands
"Bar" you started, stroking his hair. He then suddenly looked up fast, making you take your hand away
"I lost you, Y/N. I almost have you and I lost you. And today it's Oliver, tomorrow is the hot guy from Jitters, next day it's your co worker until one day I'll be attending your wedding with a broken heart and a nice suit" he sighed "...I lost your heart and I don't know how to continue faking a smile"
"You still have all of my heart, Barry" you said, after a few seconds of silence. He stared at you confused. You decided to continue ".....Oliver is one of the closest friends and probably the only person who understands me. We have this little flirtationship, but his heart belongs to Felicity"
"He was so charming, so attracted to you" Barry added, even more confused
"He was being nice, Barry. There's a huge difference once you know the context of the situation" he smiled, this time sincerely. You sat down next to him and took his hand in yours. He glanced at you, a little shine of hope in his eyes
"So I haven't lost you?"
"You never did" you smiled, copying your former lover
"So we can try again?"
"With only one condition"
"Full honesty?" he asked, giving a shot
"No!" you scoffed jokingly "No running me around the city" Barry laughed, a big smile from ear to ear painted his face. It made you smile "....I threw up three times the last time you did it" now you laughed
"I promise, a normal Barry Allen for you" you rolled your eyes and grinned. Barry kissed your hand and passed his arm around your neck, leaving another kiss on your head.
You were ready this time. You were ready for love.
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HAHAHAHA THIS SUCKED OK BYE
thanks for reading/commenting/voting/not hating me