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21 · The Innovation of What's and Why's
The brownies were indeed burnt.
Joshua even had to crack a joke about it as he walked inside. When I threatened to kick him out of the house, it managed to shut him right back up.
Opening the windows in the kitchen to get rid of the smell, the scent of rain didn't hesitate to seep in. Poking the brownies, they were hard as a rock which were, unfortunately, a waste of food. After scraping and tossing the brownies in the trashcan, I came to realization that Joshua was inside my house, using my bathroom this very moment.
Because he was soaking from the rain, I insisted him to freshen up. Also, I didn't want to have to explain the random water puddles to my mom. Luckily, there were some clothes I found in the hallway closet that my cousin, Arnold, accidentally left when family came in town last Thanksgiving.
As I waited for Joshua to come out of the bathroom, I wasn't sure why this unsettling feeling was churning in my stomach. It was quiet besides the rumbling of the dryer that contained his drenched clothes. I then recalled back to what my locker buddy said to me moments ago.
He was jealous of Drew Larkin.
The entire thing was confusing because it seemed unbelievable. Joshua Anderson expressing jealously was like saying the square root of a negative number existed. Joshua was constantly oozing with confidence. Being jealous was never a trait in him — so I thought.
My head was going to blow up if I continued thinking, but I couldn't grasp Joshua's words around my head.
"I don't know why I should be feeling jealous over that guy. But, I saw you with him on Monday outside during lunch. Seeing you two together made me feel all weird."
My heart thumped.
Stop it, heart.
Jealously was never a shining trait because nobody liked jealous people, but there had to be an explanation to why I felt quite happy. Maybe a little jealously wasn't so bad. I expected the worst — like, Joshua secretly hated me all along and couldn't take it anymore — but it turned out that he was jealous.
The moment I heard the bathroom door creaking open down the hallway, my entire body froze. Prepping myself to be strong, I hopped down the stool and waited longer than I anticipated.
Once Joshua finally emerged from the darkened hallways, I understood why now.
"Yeah, yeah, keep laughing," Joshua muttered through a monotone, rubbing his hair dry with the white towel.
It didn't occur to me that the t-shirt Arnold left had the most ridiculous print and was shockingly ironic.
Joshua Anderson was wearing a large, gray shirt that had a huge smiley-face smacked right in the middle.
Not wanting to question my older cousin's fashion sense, I didn't even try to stop myself from laughing. The suffering expression on Joshua's face made the situation ten times better.
As Joshua looked down at the tee and the bright red basketball shorts, he shook his head. "Did you honestly plan this to torture me? I told you that I was sorry."
Even though Joshua tried to look serious, I noticed a crooked smile trying to creep on his lips. I knew he liked the reference. It was connected to his nickname after all.
Suppressing my laughter, I finally got a hold of myself. "It's just funny how relevant that is."
Joshua nodded with disinterest. "Where are my real clothes, by the way?"
"In the dryer." I used my head to point the direction of the laundry room.
A look of relief spread across Joshua's face right after. Maybe I should have kept him on his toes and lied about it first.
Seeing how it was too late for that, I wanted to get back to where we left off. Things weren't exactly settled between us. Even though I did miss the joking atmosphere we held seconds ago, I wasn't sure how to bring up that conversation again.
Harboring my attention, Joshua called out to me first. "Thanks Olivia."
"It's fine."
He held back for a minute before proceeding, "I meant what I said. You know, when we were outside."
Gazing into his green eyes, I noticed how vulnerable Joshua was. It could be the damp hair and the clothes. Definitely the clothes. They framed him differently. His egocentric attitude was off center, but he was honest. The thing was, I already knew Joshua was telling the truth when he confessed that to me outside.
Knitting my eyebrows together, I replied, "I know you did. I just don't understand why."
Of course, I had an idea, but I was always the type of person that wanted to hear it from that person.
When I motioned that it was okay for Joshua to place the towel on top of the chair, he didn't reply instantly, but instead, he rubbed the back of his neck.
After a moment, Joshua settled his attention back to me and said, "I don't know. It seemed like Drew knew you more than I did... and, he knew how to make you happy."
A few seconds later, Joshua sighed in frustration. "It's stupid, isn't it? You were already having a bad weekend, and then I just had to say shit to you, and then I just had to ignore you for the past week even though I really didn't want to, but I felt, dammit, I just felt weird. And then, I was a jack ass because I was being rude even though you didn't do a single thing wrong. Why should I be jealous over a guy who's giving you donuts for crying out loud? I don't know, but —"
"Joshua, slow down."
Not listening, Joshua rambled, "It seemed to make you smile, and it—it pissed me off. I thought that there was something going on between you two, and I needed to back off. I know that's stupid, and I'm acting like a five year old. I get it. And then, you thought I was jealous over Eric? No. No. It was Drew. I was actually jealous of that guy. What is —"
"Hey, it's fine. Joshua, stop."
He went on, "Wrong with me? And then, I came home and found the pictures and those frames you gave us. Why would you even do that after I was such a dick to you? They're great, you know? I couldn't say that to you any sooner than now because I was stupid and —"
"Joshua, stop!"
That was the only way to get that Smiley Idiot to snap out of it.
As soon as Joshua realized that he was practically word vomiting everywhere, he straightened himself out and cleared his throat in embarrassment. Observing him, my lips had twitched into a grin.
Joshua Anderson was definitely out of focus.
He groaned, "I really thought I had this whole conversation under control."
I only said this to tease him, "You probably practiced in front of the mirror first, didn't you?"
Reluctant at first, Joshua glumly nodded his head.
My mouth dropped. "You didn't."
"I did," Joshua answered uncomfortably. "Can I finish what I was going to say?"
I nodded.
Joshua's voice became more assertive as he revealed, "I couldn't do it anymore — not being friends with you — I couldn't go on ignoring you like that. I remembered what happened on Saturday, and I, well, I didn't mean what I said on Monday. The moron in me took over. I'm really sorry, Olivia. I really am."
Even though the cold shoulder from Joshua pestered my mind for five long days, I accepted his apology. The way Joshua was trying his hardest to genuinely apologize made me jittery. On top of that, leaving him outside in the rain for a while was harsh enough.
More than anything, I was just glad that Joshua came back.
"Having someone to talk to already makes me happy," I reminded with a faint smile, "we're okay, Joshua."
"You're still Nurse Sandpaper, and I'm still Smiley Idiot?"
"Never knew it changed in the first place," I returned before referencing the shirt he was wearing.
When Joshua grinned back in reply, I couldn't resist back ask, "Those... other problems you mentioned on Monday, what did you mean?"
"Problems?" He repeated unsurely before the reminder seemed to have clicked. Joshua's eyes roamed across the kitchen before he replied, "It's nothing to worry about. I dealt with them already."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
I asked for assurance, "So, nothing is bothering you?"
Joshua gave me a sideways grin and nodded. "Yes, Olivia. Nothing is bothering me."
Despite the rain causing the house to be dark and cold, it became warmer with Joshua here. When I suggested that we sit, the two of us occupied the black leather sofa in the family room. The touch of leather was chilly, but in due time, it didn't bother me.
Turning my attention to Joshua, I mentioned, "I really like donuts by the way, the powdery kind with strawberry jelly and the cake one."
A confused grin surfaced as Joshua raised his eyebrows.
Before he even got to question my burst of random facts, I clarified, "You said that you felt like Drew knew a lot about me, right? Well, I don't really think so. Now, you know too."
"That's his thing for you though."
Placing my hands on my hips, I countered, "So? What's your favorite food?"
"Probably pizza. I could eat a large by myself."
"I challenge you to that."
"You're on." Joshua didn't appear very threatened though. "What kind of movies do you like?"
I answered with no hesitation, "Just about anything. I think Disney movies are great."
Once Joshua agreed, I stared at him in doubt.
Joshua straightened the way he was sitting before returning a questioning look back. Thinking about Joshua and Disney was an odd combination.
He reasoned, "You act like I don't have three younger siblings."
"Fair enough. Do you have a favorite Disney movie?"
"I do. It's that Pixar film, Up," Joshua then noted, "And, I know it's not a Disney made animation, but it's still distributed by them."
A little surprised, I thought Joshua would say something like The Lion King or Aladdin. It wasn't a bad kind of surprise though. Up was one of the most heartwarming tales I had ever watched.
"Can I ask you something personal?"
He shrugged in reply.
I questioned with all seriousness, "Did you cry in the beginning?"
There was a few seconds of silence as Joshua blinked his eyes in hesitation.
"You did cry. Oh my god. Joshua Anderson has a soul, everyone!"
Joshua hushed me down, and I immediately caught those flustered actions of his. Rubbing the nape of his neck, Joshua didn't look at me in the eyes for a while.
"No one is even here," he quickly bought up, "fine, but I also liked the film score. Very well composed. They won an oscar for that, you know?"
"Nice save."
There was a dry expression on Joshua's face, but that didn't affect me very much.
Releasing a laugh, it wasn't long before Joshua joined me. For the time being, we continued to talk about what we liked and didn't like which ranged from favorite colors to what type of music we preferred.
We talked so simple and innocently, yet we discovered the small things that composed us.
After handing Joshua a mug of hot tea since it was still pouring outside, I sat back down with a mug of my own.
Once Joshua drank a little, he expressed, "I know this is late, but thanks for those pictures. I helped the kids put them up, and they look beautiful."
Hearing the word 'beautiful' come out of Joshua's mouth caused my heart to flutter.
"You're welcome. I-I'm just glad that you all liked it."
The only way to cover up the rapid heat on my cheeks was to continue drinking the mug of tea. I was beginning to discover fragments of Joshua Anderson, and I didn't want that to stop. Proclaiming that something was wrong with me, being with Joshua filled up this empty space I never thought existed.
"Olivia."
Looking back up, I noticed a tender expression on Joshua's face.
Unsure of this sudden tension between us, I hoped that he wouldn't notice me shifting slightly further from him. Well, that was what I thought I was doing. Instead, I was actually moving closer.
His emerald green eyes were stuck on me. They were absolutely captivating from where I sat. For a moment, I thought something more was going to happen, but Joshua immediately broke off his gaze.
He quickly asked, "I'm not sure if you knew, but Mikaela invited me to join you guys this spring break."
I hurried myself to recover and nodded several times. "Yeah. Come with us. It's fun there."
Joshua observed me carefully, but his expression grew at ease. "You sure?"
"I'm sure," I said meekly.
Get yourself together, Olivia. You're only friends.
Placing my mug on top of the coffee table, I then wondered, "Is it true that you have piano recitals?"
I wasn't surprised that Joshua looked perplexed by my knowledge of this.
When I explained that his mom told me, Joshua replied, "Yeah. It's just happens when an offer comes up. Like on Valentine's Day, some a few weeks ago, and Monday. It's always random."
Thinking about it, Joshua had spent the rest of his Valentine's Day performing — not with Beverly Gillespie. This heart of mine was surprisingly cheerful about this. I mentally scolded my heart for being foul towards Beverly.
"How come you never invited us? It sounds exciting."
Expecting that Joshua would repeat the same explanation as Roselle did, Joshua actually held back with his response. He gulped and gazed down to his mug. The rain that pattered against the windows cloaked the silent atmosphere. Tilting my head, I wondered if something was wrong. It wasn't long before Joshua settled his eyes back on me.
"I was... going to invite you on Monday, but I was a coward and backed off."
"Oh," I murmured.
Well, Joshua did misunderstand what was going on between Drew and me. Joshua then looked at me with a more confident expression.
A smug grin grew on his face. "I'm not a coward anymore though. I expect you to come to all my recitals, starting with the spring showcase. Don't hold back on the cheering too because I know you will be amazed."
Hearing those words placed a goofy grin on my face.
Witnessing this reassured me that the narcissism in my locker buddy never left. That was oddly a good thing because only Joshua Anderson managed to pull it off.
I reminded, "I already told you that I was going."
Sticking his pinky out, Joshua prompted, "You never promised on it though."
As soon as I intertwined my pinky with his, I commented with a teasing smile, "You know, you act like a bad ass, but these pinky promises are questionable."
Joshua stifled a laugh, keeping the hold of our fingers longer than I expected. "You love it though."
And, I couldn't find one reason to deny so.
+ + +
After spending the start of my spring break with Mom, I was about done with my striped duffel bag I was busily packing. From a promise my friends and I made in Sophomore year, we always dedicated the last three days of break at Callaway Village.
This time, we had Joshua to join us.
When Joshua came to apologize last Friday, he got picked up by Ethan. Joshua looked a little embarrassed, not having a car of his own, but it wasn't the end of the world.
I would never forget how badly Ethan wanted to see Joshua in his previous outfit, but Joshua's actual clothes were already dried. Joshua didn't hesitate to change the moment his clothes were ready to be worn again. I should had taken a picture when I had the chance.
Before Joshua left, he gave me this look I couldn't explain. Those green eyes were a mixture of happiness and solitude that it confused me for a while.
Once Mom got home, I couldn't summon enough courage to tell her that Joshua was here. Mom didn't question me though, so I didn't bring it up.
Callaway Village was an hour drive from my house and was up in the mountains. The hidden gem was a quaint town and bought visitors back to what small European cottages and architecture looked like. The atmosphere was very homey and peaceful, and Callaway Village had a huge, crystal clear lake that was perfect to jump in.
The last thing on my list was my DSLR camera that was fully charged and ready to go. After glancing at myself briefly in the mirror, I nodded approvingly at my coral-colored top and denim shorts before grabbing my duffel bag. Everyone planned to meet at my place before we carpooled with Eric to Callaway Village.
When I headed out my bedroom door, Mom was also getting ready for her morning shift at work. Within minutes, Mom emerged out of the bathroom.
Noticing how I was in the living room, she approached my side. "Are you excited?"
"Definitely," I then questioned. "Are you going to be okay here, Mom?"
Mom released a soft chuckle. "You ask me that every time. I'm going to be fine. Go and have fun for me, okay? I have to leave now. Tell everyone I said hi."
"Of course." I smiled.
Getting up to give Mom a hug goodbye, she whispered, "Take care, honey. Call me when you're there, okay? I love you."
Before we pulled away from the hug, I returned, "Will do. Love you too, Mom."
When I walked Mom to the door, we hugged once more. As I waved her a goodbye, she eventually drove off which left me momentarily alone at the house.
Ten minutes had passed, and I was greeted by Mikaela when I opened the front door. Carrying two bags of her own, she was all smiles.
"Hey!" She shouted exaggeratedly. "Are you ready? Cause I'm ready!"
I laughed before greeting her with a hug. "Let's save the excitement for when we get there, yeah?"
Mikaela killed time by showing me the CDs she made for the trip. She titled them, "Spring Break 2012". She did that every year.
My friend was completely ecstatic about the trip that it didn't occur to me that the doorbell rang. We both walked over to the door and found Eric with a beaming grin on his face. His facial injuries were practically gone.
He span his keys around. "Ready?"
At this point, we would be jumping for joy, but we were still missing one person.
Joshua.
As if my thoughts requested for the immediate presence of my locker buddy, there was the familiar car of Ethan Ross approaching the curb of my house.
My friends followed my gaze, and Joshua emerged out as he opened the passenger door with a duffel bag in hand. All of us waved, and he grinned back. It was a sheepish kind of grin, maybe because he was the last one to get here.
Joshua left the door open for Ethan to holler out a greeting to us.
Ethan cupped his hands. "Have fun! Bring Joshy-poo back safe and sound."
Instantly, Joshua slammed the door shut, and there was a scowl on his face.
When Ethan pulled the windows down, I could hear him scold Joshua as he laughed, "What the hell, dude! I was kidding!"
Joshua smirked a little before giving his friend a wave goodbye as Ethan drove off.
Mikaela and I tried our best not to laugh so obviously towards their interaction. When Joshua approached us, Eric suggested that we pack our bags into his SUV so we could head out. After locking everything shut in my house, I was ready to go.
While Eric started up the engine, Joshua was kind enough to help us with our bags and organized them nicely to fit in the trunk. Giving Joshua a smile, his embarrassment from Ethan gradually diminished. He returned a grin back.
Mikaela suddenly popped out of nowhere and slammed her hand on his shoulder. "Hope you're excited! Spring break with us is the best!"
We chuckled quietly.
Joshua nodded. "Thanks for inviting me."
Eric then walked over to where we stood, and he placed his Ray Bans on. "Thanks for joining us. I won't have these two teaming up on me anymore."
I snorted out a laugh. "You put yourself up to it!"
Mikaela nodded before we shared a high five with each other.
Eric shook his head despite the crooked smile growing on his face. "See what I mean?"
It wasn't long before the four of us were sharing the same laughs.
Once we got inside, Eric and Joshua were sitting in the front while Mikaela and I occupied the back. A part of me was a little relieved because I knew if I sat next to Joshua, Mikaela would never let me hear the end of it.
When I told Mikaela that Joshua apologized, she continued to insist that Joshua liked me. That was why he was jealous over Drew, that was why he was mad that we were together that one time. However, I didn't follow along. If anything, I would want to hear it from Joshua. Call me stubborn.
Mikaela shoved her CD into the cd player before Eric told her to sit back down since we were on the freeway. The drive to Callaway Village was complimented by the upbeat to relaxing tunes courtesy of Mikaela O'Connor.
We all talked about what we did over spring break, and I always found the O'Connor's family trips amusing. This year, they visited her uncle's farm. Mikaela shuddered when she talked about having to milk a cow.
Eric was suppressing his laughter until Mikaela unconsciously slapped his arm. It was a natural reflex of hers. Eric winced in reply since that was the area Trevor kept kicking. Mikaela immediately fell into worry as she apologized.
As this was all happening, Joshua and I sort of looked like twins by the grins we held. The two were entertaining to watch.
"I'm sorry, Eric!" Mikaela expressed. "Enough about my wonderful time, what have you guys been up to?"
Turned out that Eric and Joshua spent most of spring break together since they were working at the café most of the time.
What I liked about the time of our break was that it landed during my mom's birthday.
On her birthday, we celebrated by shopping and eating lunch and desserts. Though it wasn't extravagant, Mom had a great time which was what I was most concerned about. I didn't go to my dad's place this spring break. In fact, I avoided him, but he did know that I was going to Callaway Village with my friends.
I must have ended up falling asleep during the ride because once I woke up, Eric was arriving near the village. Rubbing my eyes, I immediately looked over to my left, and Mikaela was sleeping soundly as well. Telling her wake up, Mikaela jolted up until she realized the reason why I shook her.
Knowing that we were awake, I caught the grin on Eric's face from the rearview mirror. "I present you, Callaway Village."
Once he found parking, all four of us went down from the SUV. My mood couldn't have gotten any better as I took in the familiar setting of Callaway Village. The setting made it seem like the city life never existed. As I glanced to my right, the shimmery lake was welcoming as the sun rays bounced against the waters.
"This is different," I heard Joshua comment as he appeared by my side.
Nodding, I gazed up at him. "You'll have fun, there's a lot to do here."
"Well, the company is already great, so I know I will."
I blushed in response.
Our attention was pulled when Mikaela called my name. She looked somewhat confused, but when I asked what was wrong, it all made sense.
She said this to me, but Joshua could easily overhear, "Did you invite Drew here?"
"Wait, why?"
Mikaela then pointed to the left of the parking lot.
From there, my mouth dropped.
Drew Larkin and a group of his friends were taking out their luggage from the trunks of their cars. All of them were being obnoxious. I didn't notice their absurd behavior from afar which was peculiar. Not believing any of this, it wasn't long before Drew took off his sunglasses and locked eye contact with me.
The football player flashed an amused grin and waved.
I gulped down.
"Olivia! What a surprise!"
I caught the murmur that escaped Joshua's lips, "I'm having a hard time believing him."
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Dedicating this to Joanna because she’s such a motivating and genuine gal I’m happy to have met on Wattpad (she also made the cute banner on the side which perfectly captures Olivia and Joshua's talents). Thank you again!