The muscle at the edge of Sterling's jaw tightened. "Captain. Of. What?" She said, dropping each word as if loading bullets into a revolver. Andie had to remember to get herself and Rachel out of firing range when Sterling hit the "trigger."
"I know you're not that stupid. Of The Colony. I even had business cards made up in my name. You know I'm prettier and younger than you. I was born to replace you. So bye-bye. It wasn't nice working with you. The best part of all this is I don't have to worry about burning bridges since I'll be burning you."
Though Rachel wasn't the "I told you so" type, the word "karma" hung unspoken in the air.
Andie's gut twisted like a wrung-out Gripple. No one was going to burn her best friend, even if the said friend was nosy and stubborn and impossible. Andie concentrated on her hands. Light up, stupid fingers. Light up. Let me zap! Her fingertips responded with abject stillness.
In the meantime, Sterling's face had turned an angry glowy red—like the Terminator's eyes. "You overestimate yourself, Gaines."
Gigi giggled. "I outsmarted you, oh queen."
"Are you sure?"
Silence.
Maybe Gigi wasn't so confident. Which was an understandable and often healthy response when opposing Sterling. Andie quirked a brow and leaned close to Sterling's ear. "Is there a plan?" Andie whispered.
Sterling smirked.
For a whole two seconds, Andie felt relief coursing through her veins, as soothing as melted chocolate. Sterling had a plan! But moments passed, the din of the approaching throng (thanks to Star Force One having obliterated the window) reaching cataclysmic proportions. And still Sterling did nothing.
The bat ray ship now had thousands of tentacle-quivering drones surrounding her. Andie's skull throbbed as the army charged toward the shoe mall-like Black Friday shoppers in pursuit of twenty-dollar Manolos. Every muscle in Andie's body clenched, and she failed to remember the importance of breathing. The building quaked and rumbled.
"Sterling, they're going to smash into us!" Andie said, having given up on the whole "holding her breath" idea (hey, it's impossible to keep it up forever). She hyperventilated.
"Calm down," Sterling demanded, pummeling the door (not calmly). "Ouch! I broke a nail! You will pay for this!"
"I like her priorities," Bad Andie said. Andie didn't bother asking if it was sarcasm or not.
"Stewling bwoke a nail," Gigi taunted like a middle school brat. "Because you won't be getting your mani-pedi now." Gigi's voice seemed to rise in confidence as the army bore down on the office. She must've been watching all the action on her flat screen. Easy to be confident when you've got a solid steel door between you and your enemies. With the added benefit of having a thousand armed drones heading their way.
"Ster, you said you controlled the drones?" Andie said.
"Maybe they'll see me, realize who I am, and bend to my will." She faced the window and waved her hands over her head. A slash of laser fire from the lead drone sliced across the room, narrowly missing Sterling's jacket. It took out a ficus. The air filled with smoke. "Or not," she coughed. "I liked that plant. Now would be a good time for you to bring out your secret alien blue zappy killer lightning thing."
"I'm trying, but ... can't control it ..." The staccato pew pew pew of dozens of jellyfish drones firing trilled through the room. "Get down!" Andie said, pulling Sterling and Rachel behind the sofa furthest from the window.
"Oh, the sweet sound of a traitor army," Gigi cackled over the loudspeaker.
"Gigi, you mutinous bitch. You have ten seconds to open the door or suffer the consequences."
A laser strike caught an edge of Rachel's billowy caftan that stuck out from behind the sofa.
"Mama! "You're on fire," Andie said, scuttling behind Rachel and, in a crouch, stomped out the flames.
"Thank you, dear," Rachel said.
"How are you so calm?" Andie yelled over the din.
"Pilot has assured me it is all going to work out fine."
"Mama, Pilot is a dog. He can't really see the future."
A cadre of six drones swept into the office and went on a laser rampage. Blue light crackled out of Andie's fingertips. At last! She rose from behind the sofa and blasted them all. Andie smiled. She was definitely getting better at this.
Sterling whistled. "I gotta get me some of that blue power. But don't get cocky, kid."
"Episode IV!"
"You made me watch it seventeen times," Sterling griped.
Two dozen more drones made it inside and began firing. The photographs followed by the coffee table, the platter of Snickerdoodles, and a sofa fizzled out of existence. Andie blasted the new drones as fast as she could. But more kept coming. "Ster, do something. There are too many ..."
Sterling clenched her fists. "Gigi, I'm warning you. Don't make me say it again."
"That's true," Gigi gloated. "Because soon you won't be saying anything again. You'll be nothing but dried-out bits of carbon."
"You idiot. No one dies on the Colony."
"Not usually," Gigi said. "But I don't see how you could survive being blown to bits."
"She has a point," Andie said. This whole "you can't die on the Colony" thing seemed rather far-fetched in the middle of a battle. Yet, if that was really Star out there, Andie had seen the spaceship break into pieces and fall into the ocean. But could it be Star? She had fired at the office window. Star wouldn't try to kill Andie. Especially if she was carrying Oliver's baby. Right?
"If? Your powers of pregnancy denial astound me," Bad Andie said.
"If you won't help me fight drones, go away!"
Andi intercepted another metallic jellyfish that was about to blow up the remaining sofa. "Sterling, I don't think I can hold them off much longer. Do something!"
"Well, I didn't want to resort to this."
"To what? Resort. Resort. And do it now."
"It means destroying my entire army."
Andie kicked a drone out the window. "I like the idea."
"Remember Last Story III?" Sterling said.
"You hated that one." Zap. Zap. Zap.
"Full of plot holes. And come on, does the world really need another love triangle in space? Hollywood never listened to my script notes! But whatever. I learned something important."
"Yeah," Andie said, leaping over the sofa and zapping drones like in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. She landed hard on the carpet, right on her tailbone, and bit down hard on her lip. Michelle Yeoh had made it look so easy.
"You okay?"
"Fine," she lied, licking off the coppery-tasting blood. Pew, pew, pew. Zap, zap, zap. Jellyfish drone parts were piling up all around the room. "What did you learn?"
"Always have an override, Captain Lumos," Sterling quoted the famous line from the movie. Which had become a meme. And a skit on SNL. Sterling nodded toward her desk. "Cover me."
Andie nodded.
Sterling executed a perfect military crawl along the floor inching toward the desk.
Andie focused on her jellyfish foes. Sweat dripped into her eyes as she continued her real-life video game battle. Luckily, none of the drones seemed interested in Rachel, who sat cross-legged behind the sofa, communing with the goddesses. Or dogs. Someone screamed. Andie whirled. Sterling was inches from the desk. The white carpet beside her scorched.
The same drone that nearly blasted the desk fired another shot at Sterling. Andie got in a powerful roundhouse kick to the drone. It sailed across the room, its laser blast blowing up the surviving ficus instead of Sterling. "Thanks."
"No problem," Andie said, now destroying drones so fast, she could barely see what she was doing. Okay, maybe she couldn't see because of the sweat. Even so, it felt like she was a conduit and someone else was guiding her movements. Take that Sensei Roberto!
A drone made it past Andie. It wrapped its tentacles around Sterling's leg and lifted her into the air and headed for the window. "Andie! Hit the button under the desk!" For a split second, Andie hesitated. What should she do? Press the button or take out the drone before it flew Sterling out of the office?
She rolled toward the desk, barely missing a laser shot. With one hand, she hit the button, and with the other, she blasted Sterling's captor. The drone dropped her in a heap, an inch from the edge of the nonexistent window, before collapsing to the floor in a sizzle. Sterling moaned. Andie leaped toward the window and pulled Sterling a safer distance from the edge.
The din ended abruptly.
Smoke and burnt electricity permeated the room. Still, the office brightened as every drone in the sky plunged to the lunar surface. It was raining drones. People on the street below scurried for cover. Star, free from her pursuers, shot into the sky and disappeared. Andie's heart sank. She had hoped it was Oliver piloting the ship. That he returned everyone to earth. But that made little sense, considering Star had unleashed the first laser strike. The one that took out the window.
"Don't worry, dear," Rachel said. "He will be right back."
"Who ...?" Sterling cried out as she tried to sit. "Are you all right?" Andie said.
"No." She rubbed her tailbone. "Yes."
"Good. But honestly, Ster, couldn't you have done that whole override thing sooner?" Andie said, wiping her bloody mouth on the sleeve of her spacesuit.
"I was trying not to because I didn't want to destroy my entire army. Plus, I wanted to see your blue light in action. It was pretty cool."
Andie's jaw dropped. "You let us almost get killed so you could see me use my weird powers?"
"No, I wanted you to see," Sterling said.
"See what?"
"What you are capable of. What a kick-ass ninja you are. Ask yourself, Andie, why you became an accountant. Be honest. Because I don't think it came from your soul."
"Amen," Bad Andie said.
"And Pilot told Mama it was all going to be okay."
Andie had no time to process this crazy statement or obsess over who her mom thought was flying Star, because the loudspeaker crackled, followed by a shriek piercing the air. "Noooooooo!" The door to Gigi's office swung open. Lionel on the other side next to a silver cart loaded with food. "Sorry," Lionel said. "I couldn't get in as someone locked the door from the kitchen to the executive suite."
Gigi sat with her head on the desk, sobbing. She looked up; mascara-stained tears streaming down her bright red face. She looked like a sad, evil clown. Andie shuddered. She despised clowns. Sterling's makeup was, of course, still perfect. Because she anticipated every eventuality. She always wore disaster-proof mascara. "How did you do that?" Gigi said, accusation thick in her voice.
"I am Sterling Fucking Champagne. And no one messes with me or the people I love. 'Always have an override, Captain Lumos.'"
"Last Story III," Gigi spat. "Ugh! How many last stories can you even have? I hate that series. I only said I'd do the job so I could take it away from you."
"Why do you care so much about beating me?"
"Because all my career they have compared me to you, and I was sick of it. But I bided my time. I knew you would eventually age out of Hollywood, and then I'd get my chance. I spent an entire year doing humiliating erectile dysfunction commercials and perfecting my scream for B-horror movies. When I read about you getting that wrinkle, it was like I'd won the lottery. Finally, I would get to take everything from you. My agent called the studio. I would do the role and for way less money. Foot in the door, you see. We did the deal in hours."
"Well, that was your mistake, Gigi," Sterling said.
"Huh?"
"There are two types of people in the world. The ones who work hard to control their fate and the ones who step on people to move up. The thing is, the second type never truly succeeds."
The elevator door slid open. Out walked a half dozen Vin Diesels. "Get her out of my sight," Sterling commanded. "Put her in the chase scene loop. I hope she and Talia have a great time together."
"No," Gigi yelled. "The lions."
"You should be fine," Sterling said. "As long as you read the script for The Last Story VIII before you took the franchise away from me. No?" Sterling shook her head. "You didn't read the script? Tsk, tsk. I'm really sorry. You won't die though. It is the Colony. But you might get repeatedly mauled."
They could hear Gigi's cries all the way down the elevator shaft. She really had perfected her horror scream. That was something.
Andie heard the purr of a high-end luxury starship engine. She whirled around, and there was Star, wrapping her tail around the enormous red shoe to hold herself in place right outside Sterling's broken window. Star's almond-shaped yellow eye regarded Andie. Looked her up and down as if assessing her physical condition. As the ship didn't fire on them, Andie assumed whoever was flying it, didn't want to kill them.
"Oh, Star," Andie said, rushing into the office. "I'm so glad you're okay."
Star blinked in acknowledgment.
"This is my mom," Andie said, taking her mom's hand. "And this is Sterling." She took Sterling's hand as well. And squeezed. They shared their secret smile. The one that only comes after years of friendship. From feeling the sorrows and joys of the other person as deeply as if they were your own. From mending wounded hearts and scraped knees. The smile that tells a story of pinky swears, bellies aching from laughter, and a thousand other things that will never stop, even when there are separations of time or distance. The one that means you always want what is best for your friend, even if it doesn't include you. And with that, Andie knew Sterling was going to stay on the Colony. Andie understood.
Andie cleared the lump from her throat. "Ster, Mom, this is Star Force One. She saved my life."
Andie's heart hammered as Star's door opened.
There, in the entry, stood Oliver, looking as devastatingly handsome as ever and Pilot the Psychic Wonderdog. Yes, he was also standing on two legs, wearing a red helmet with goggles and a red scarf. He gave the thumbs up, or rather the paws up, having no thumbs, and grinned. He reminded Andie of Snoopy flying his doghouse.
Wait, Pilot could fly a spaceship?
The world turned upside down for a moment and then stayed that way for all the moments that followed.