"All I want is you, so what you tryna do?"
Onika Maraj
"Robyn?" I ask, my eyes growing wide at the sight.
She's clad in only a white shirt and shorts, which is clinging to her skin because of the rain. Her hair is matted to her forehead and her bottom lip is quivering. Her eyes are bloodshot and I can tell it's not from the weed.
My heart swells up at the sight. Her face is paler than usual and seems to have aged in the past 24 hours. Her eyes have black rings around them and bags underneath them. Sleeplessness and nightmares are written all over her face.
Suddenly, Robyn steps forward, making me take a step back. And to my surprise, she collapses in my arms.
"Ah!" I scream," Roman!"
"What?!" Roman yells upstairs.
I struggle to hold up all of Robyn's dead weight plus the weight of her wet clothes. I take a couple of steps back, letting out a groan.
I can hear Roman coming down the stairs and she gasps,"is that Robyn?!"
Not giving her an answer, I proceed to bring Robyn into the house. Roman rushes past me and shut the door as I set Robyn on the floor.
I kneel beside Robyn and stare at her, my eyes burning.
"Where's mama?" I ask.
"She left last night."
I sniffle and bring my ear to Robyn's mouth. A steady stream of air is coming from her and I can hear a light snore.
"I think she's asleep," I tell Roman.
"Asleep?! We need to call 911. She looks sick and passed out!" Roman exclaims.
"No. Listen," I demand. We're quiet for a moment, listening to Robyn's heavy, steady breathing.
"She's asleep," I repeat," if she was passed out, her breathing would be uneven. This is what she sounds like when she's asleep."
"Wow," Roman breathes out, kneeling beside me," well. Lets get her out of these clothes before she gets sick."
I nod and lift her up by her arms. Robyn doesn't do so much as budge as Roman takes off her wet shirt. She drops the shirt to the floor with a wet smack and she speaks.
"I'll get her some of my stuff. Take her to the living room and set her by the fire."
With a tiny grunt, I pick up half her body and proceed to drag her into the living room.
Why didn't Roman do this? She knows I'm small. And Robyn is heavy as fuck...
Again, she doesn't do so much as twitch as I set her on the carpeted floor by the fireplace. It's already lit, nice and warm, so I drag her close enough to it and let her body heat up for a moment, considering she was out in the cold rain.
I guess I'll fix her something hot for when she wakes up.
I stand up and walk into the kitchen. I walk to the pantry and pick out some peppermint spice tea. I then find a kettle and fill it with cold water before setting it on the stove and turning it on high.
I set the box of tea on the counter and walk back into the living room. Roman is just coming down the stairs with a cover and a bundle of her old soccer clothes. I take them from her and kneel beside Robyn again.
I shake Robyn, hopefully trying to wake her up. Her body is still cold under my hand but her eyes flutter open.
She looks quite surprised to see me, an automatic glow coming to her face and her green eyes lighting immensely. Her bottom lip begins quivering and her body rocks as she begins shivering.
"You cold?" I ask, reaching for the heavy throw blanket.
She nods, covering her chest that's barely covered by her sports bra. She sits up and tries to get closer to the fire for warmth.
I set the blanket over her shoulders and wrap it around her. She pulls the wool tightly to her, but that doesn't help her shivering.
"Get up," I say, softly," I got some clothes for you.
It takes a minute before Robyn brings herself to her feet. I stand up and lead her to the bathroom past the den. After a minute, I look back and see her taking short, shaky steps. I sigh and walk back to her, walking behind her in case she falls again. She mumbles something barely audible to my ears but I shake it off.
Suddenly remembering the clothes, I walk back into the living room and pick up the clothes. At that moment, the tea kettle whistles on the stove. I rush into the kitchen and take a glass cup out of the cabinets. After I set it on the counter, I open the box of tea and take a tea bag out, draping it over the edge of the mug. I pour some water into the cup whilst holding the clothes. Once that's done, I walk back through the kitchen and living room. I see that Robyn isn't in the hallway anymore so I'm guessing that she's found the bathroom. Roman, again guessing, went to bed.
I walk down the short hallway to the bathroom and push the door open. I try to mask the look of surprise on my face when I find Robyn's naked body in front of me. Her arms are hugging her body but I see enough. My eyes drift a little lower and I can see her scar starting from the right side of her stomach and traveling midway to her belly button. My eyes drift a little lower before I blush and push the clothes out in front of me.
"H-here's your clothes," I say, quickly looking away from her caramel body.
"Th-th-thank-ks," she says, shivering as she takes them.
I turn around and start to leave but Robyn pulls my arms.
"C-can ya s-stay, please?" She asks.
Huffing, I turn around and stand in the doorway. Maybe I can finally get some answer as to why she decides to pass out at my doorstep.
I don't dare to look at Robyn's body as she slowly gets dressed.
"Why were you outside at 2 in the morning?" I ask.
It takes a minute before Robyn says a single word," v-voices."
I look up at her, but she looks too embarrassed to look back.
"Voices?" I ask.
She gives me a shaky nod, pulling on Roman's soccer shorts," a lotta voices..."
I stare at her, trying to pinpoint a simple explanation.
"Did you take your medicine?" I ask softly.
I watch as she shakes her head, a sigh coming from her.
"Why n-"
"It doesn't work okay? A-a-and it makes me crazy."
I nod in respect, but still, questions are pegging at my mind.
I look back at Robyn and see her pulling a Barcelona jersey over her head. I glance at her stomach and see her muscles tensing underneath her smooth skin. Probably from the cold.
I can't stop myself from looking at her scar on her stomach. I stare at it, pity washing over me.
"D-don't pity m-m-meh." Robyn says, covering it with the shirt.
"Sorry." I apologize softly.
She quickly replies," don't apologize either."
I frown and ask," well, what can I do?"
"Sleep with m-meh." Robyn replies, her green eyes looking much sadder than before.
I can feel my face heating up as I think about my realistic dream I just had. I try to talk but nothing comes out.
"N-not like that. I ju-just 'aven't been getting any s-sleep. A-and when I saw ya I jus..."
"...fell asleep." I finish.
"Yeah..." she drifts off, looking down at her bare feet. I take notice to how her body is still shaking.
I take heavy consideration into the situation. I should tell her to go home. But I can't leave her how she is right now. She really looks like she needs me.
"D-don't make me get on-n a knee, Onika," Robyn says with a weak laugh as she starts to kneel.
"No. Don't do that," I hold out my hands to stop her. I can't help but to smile at her silliness but I don't try to show it," fine. Only for tonight."
Robyn smiles and gets up," th-thank you."
About ten minutes later, I climb into the bed beside Robyn. She's underneath the covers, hugging them to her body while shivering.
"Are you okay?" I ask, getting underneath the covers with her.
She nods, her teeth still chattering," y-yea."
I lie down in my bed, my head hitting the pillow. As I turn off the lamp, I can actually feel how drained I am. Thunder rumbles, adding in to my sleepiness.
Robyn lets out a whimper as the darkness envelopes us.
"Onika," Robyn says in a demanding tone.
"Huh?" I ask, closing my eyes.
"C-come hea," she says.
I sigh, totally forgetting about her fear of the dark and storms. But then I remember my dream.
"No," I reply.
"Why n-not?"
"Because... you... I...."
"I'm nah gunna touch ya,"she says," I swear."
I sigh," fine..."
Robyn doesn't waste any time in getting behind me, wrapping her around my waist and molding our bodies as one.
"Robyn starts to speak but her hand is placed against my stomach. I tense up at the action.
"Baybeh..." Robyn says softly.
"Huh?" I ask.
"You kept da baybeh..." she breathes out.
I can feel my eyes burning as I remember saying that I was going to abort the baby. I can't believe such evil words came from my mouth.
"Yea," I whisper, my voice cracking.
"I'm sorry..." Robyn says, rubbing my bare stomach.
Chills trickle down my spine and my arms get covered in goosebumps under the touch that I longed so much for.
I don't even bother to answer her as she pulls me as close to her as she can. I can feel her breath on the back of my neck. A single tear falls down my face, gathering at the bridge of my nose.
"I love you..." Robyn says. And that's the last thing she says before her breathing grows deep and steady.
I sigh, realizing she's asleep. My heart aches at her final words but I try my best not to let it faze me.
I don't know how long I lay there and listen to the thunder and rain. My mind is racing. Thoughts flood through my head. Different thoughts. I don't know what to think. On one hand, I love her. A lot. The other, I don't want to love her. Because if I let her in again and she hurts me again, I don't know what I'll do. And I don't want to take that chance.
I sigh and try to move out of Robyn's hold but her strong arms hold me in place. I try to move again but only get the same result.
Sighing again, I settle in her hold. Before I know it, the tears are free falling from my eyes. This makes everything so difficult. Why did she have to apologize?
Why did she have to show up at my doorstep and make me feel bad for her?
Why did I help her?
And why did I let her sleep with me?
The answer was simple but I didn't want to believe it. I don't want to even hear my thoughts say it.
If she loved me, she wouldn't have let another female get to her. If she loved me, she would've told me without hesitation.
But she apologized. And I can't find myself to believe her words. And tonight showed me that she was true about them.
As Robyn pulls me closer to her and snuggles into me further, I wipe my face and try to push my thoughts away. I close my eyes to try to get myself to go to sleep. But the thoughts never leave.
I don't know how long I lay there, listening to Robyn breathe and the patter of the rain on the window. But all I know is that before my eyelids grew heavy and I fell asleep, one thought was final in my mind:
I love you too, Robyn...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⚠️ I lost my notebook y'all 😭😭😭 it had basically the rest of the book in it and plus my new book I was gonna drop in springtime 😭😭 I think I left it when I was going to my tournament a couple days ago. It might be on the bus or all the way back in the city we played against 🤷🏾♀️ but it's gone 😭😭 I was crying for a good ten minutes yo. But I guess I'm good 😥
But. Y'all know I'm all about promoting authors or new books I like so go check out this book by Topchef_cici it's not a fanfic. But it's a reaaaaalllly good book y'all 😊so y'all go check it out. Get her some good votes and comments and I'll update again 👏🏾 pretty simple.
What are your thoughts about this chapter?
Robyn true to her words now?
Should Onika forgive her?
Who wants them back together 😩🙋🏾
Random questions:
Favorite holiday?
Middle name?
Time you finished reading this?
Vote. Comment.
~Trina J.