alyssa
they're taking me to Illinois for a mental facility. i know because i heard them talking.
"we can do it by plane. but there'd be a ton of stops." the lady says.
"that doesn't matter. we just have to get her out of the UK."
"i've heard Illinois has great places, it'll truly get her help."
they start talking back and forth and it becomes a plan. many hours later, i'm unstrapped from the stretcher and walked side by side into the airport.
"alright, look kid," she starts as i have to board the plane, "we're letting you off here. there'll be another pair of EMTs right as you land into IL. they know your face, they know your name. don't pull anything, ya got it?"
"yes, fine."
"okay. best of luck to ya, goodbye."
i nod and board the plane. i feel free even though i know i'm not.
as we boarded, i didn't even know how long it'd take. i was asleep the entire time.
__________
"james! i fucking missed you. don't you know this?" i feel my tears start to flow like a faucet filling up a cup with water.
"alyssa, i love you."
"what?"
"i love you. so fucking much, alyssa." i felt his kiss, i felt his presence. he held me closer by my waist and continued kissing me. it felt so real. he pulls back with a cute ass smirk.
"i love you." i cry.
"i love you more, alys—"
"come here! come back!" police yell. i start crying even more.
"please, james, don't leave me again."
"alyssa, i have to. you'll be better off without me."
"james, please stop! i love you, oh my god i love you so much!" he kisses me once more then runs away, fading into the depths of my dreams. i start to fade back into the man we killed, in his bed. i feel strapped down just like i was in the stretcher. i'm screaming but it doesn't stop, he doesn't stop. i yell for james but this time he's not here to kill him.
__________
then, i wake up. my face feels puffy, and i feel tears dripping.
"ma'am are you okay?"
i shake my head, even though i know she doesn't give two shits about me. she sighs, and pats my shoulder.
"is it about a boy?" she asks. i nod.
"kinda. but he's not just some ordinary boy."
"i get it."
no, you don't.
"it seems like boys always have control, huh?"
not my james. he never wanted control. i don't even know what he wanted.
i nod.
"i guess so, yeah." i sigh. "thank you for trying to help."
she shrugs and walks away.