Chapter 8 - He's Gone...
As my eyes snapped open, I instantly felt the warmth of the sun, shining through the gaps in my blinds. I gently slipped my arms from under my duvet and let my skin soak up the warmth. Mimi's face was fresh in my mind and the ache that I felt yesterday, was far from gone. As I stared at the circle shape that the sunlight had made on my wooden wardrobe, I lifted my hands to form talking characters by positioning them in certain shapes. I giggled to myself as I remembered this keeping Mimi entertained for hours when Kyle and I was babysitting her one night. I never did understand the fascination of creating silent, shadow characters until now that is. The silence that they provided was a comfort to my heart and the sheer silliness of their creation took my mind off of the deeper issues that it was trying to avoid.
As I slipped my legs out of my duvet and pulled my body into a sitting position, I stretched my arms in the air, in a bid to shake away the tiredness that I was feeling. I pressed the button on my phone to reveal a screen that read 6:00am. I quietly turned the handle of my bedroom door, pushed it open and then crept into the bathroom. I didn't need to turn the light on as it was already bright enough. Sliding down my pyjama bottoms and pants I lifted the toilet seat and quietly sat down. I didn't flush as I was aware that everyone was probably still peacefully sleeping. As I washed my hands and looked at my puffy eyes in the mirror I heard a noise coming from downstairs.
I quickly dried my hands and crept towards my mom and Bob's room. I slipped my head through the gap to find that they were both fast asleep. How I hadn't heard Bob's snoring, before looking inside was beyond me. I quickly slipped my head back out, closed the door in gently and quietly, crept down the stairs. I pushed the living room door open to find that Kyle was gone. I was a little disappointed to know that he had left without even telling me but maybe he didn't want to face me after last night. It was the most emotional that I had ever seen him and knowing him, he was probably still quite embarrassed.
I made a tiny gap through the curtains, to see if I could see him driving off, through the window but to my surprise his car was still parked up and he was no where to be seen. I made my way to the front door, opened it as quietly as I could and peered outside.
"What are you doing?" I whispered as I slipped out of the front door and approached Kyle who was sat on the grass, in my front yard.
"Sorry, I just wanted some fresh air. I didn't wake you, did I?" He replied as he kept his eyes fixated on the grass that lay beneath him.
"No you didn't. How are you feeling?" I said as I took a seat next to him on the ground.
"I'm not sure. I've been trying to work it out all morning but I got nothing".
"I know the feeling," I replied as I stared at him.
"Did you hear any news on Mimi?"
"Yeah, my mom text this morning to say that she still hasn't woken up yet," he said as a look of sadness filled his eyes.
"She will be ok," I said as I rested my hand on top of his and gave it a little squeeze.
He gave me a small smile and continued to look down at the grass. As I stared into his beautiful brown eyes I could almost feel the pain that he was feeling. His dark blonde hair blew as the gentle morning breeze hit it. As I looked at his strong muscular body, it amazed me, how weak he now looked. His confident, bad boy image had suddenly melted away before my very eyes.
"I don't understand you," he said, breaking the silence.
"What do you mean?" I replied, in a state of confusion.
"After everything that I've done to you, how can you still be so nice to me?" He said in a low voice.
"Kyle, we all make mistakes, what's important is that we learn from them," I said in a bid to reassure him.
"There you go again," he said in a frustrated tone.
"What?"
"Being nice to me, April I don't deserve it. I've been such a jerk to you. I screwed up your life and now I just land on your door step asking for help. You should have kicked me out last night, I don't deserve an ounce of your compassion," he replied.
"Firstly, this is not just about you, it's about Mimi. I love her and all I care about and want is for her to get better. Secondly, I can see that you're sorry. I don't understand why you did, what you did but I get that you're sorry and I'm ok with that. I can move on".
"I wish you were right but I can't forgive me, even if you can. You know, what we had was...It was, like nothing I've ever had and I ruined that, all for the sake of needing to feel free," he said as though his own words had disappointed him.
"It's ok, you don't need to explain".
"I do, I really do need to explain, to you. Me and you, we were great and you know what? I got scared. Scared that if I fell any deeper then I would get hurt and then I'd be that guy that doesn't know how to deal with any other girl because he's had his heart broken. Pathetic right?" He sneered, more at himself than me.
"Yes it is pathetic because you know that I would have never hurt you," I said feeling rather sad that he ever felt that I would have done that to him.
"I know and then there was Rachel and she was just there. She said all the things I needed to hear, no commitment, nothing serious, just fun and I thought that, that was what I wanted".
"And was it?" I asked.
"No. It didn't last long anyway, she soon wanted more, and the more that she wanted, the more that I realised that she just wasn't you. I seriously screwed up," he said as he placed his hand on his forehead.
"Yes you did but you can't change what is already done. Sometimes you have to just move forward and learn to forgive yourself," I said as I placed my hand under his chin and lifted his face up to look at mine.
"Can I ask you something?" He said, staring directly into my eyes.
"Yeah," I whispered.
"Do you still love me?" He asked.
"You know that's a silly question," I replied, now shifting my eyes to the floor.
"Enough to forgive me?" He asked.
"Enough to forgive you and be friends, yes," I said, making sure to emphasis the word friends.
"Oh," he replied in a sad tone.
"It's Aiden isn't it?" He said.
"Pardon?" I asked as his words took me by surprise.
"There's something there, I can tell, I noticed it at Crystal's party, even though I knew that you weren't really dating, I still saw something," he said now looking at the grass again.
"Oh, you knew that, that wasn't real?" I asked in utter shock.
"Of course, acting never was your strong point," he said as he let out a small laugh.
"Hey," I said as I nudged him in the arm with my elbow and began laughing.
"Is it that obvious, about Aiden?" I asked as I felt my cheeks began to heat up.
"Yes, probably because I know you so well. Look, April, I still love you but I want you to be happy and if Aiden makes you happy then that's just how it has to be," he said in a bid to sound positive.
"Thank you," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled.
"Of course I will be waiting for it to fail," he said as he began to laugh.
"Yeah, thanks," I said as I messed up his blonde hair with my hand.
"Just, kidding," he said. I knew he wasn't but I was thankful anyway.
We sat silently, in that position for a good hour before finally deciding to go and get ready. It felt nice and for the first time in weeks, I was completely, 100% happy and it felt good.
****
We were both dressed, ready and on route to Kyle's house by quarter past eight. Kyle had, had his shower at mine but wanted a fresh pair of clothes to wear to school, so we decided that we would pass his house on the way there.
"I'll be five minutes," he said before slamming the door of his black Audi TT, a Christmas present, bought by his father of course.
"Ok," I replied as I watched him take a few leaps up his path before disappearing through his front door.
With all the craziness of last night, I didn't get the chance to talk to Aiden and I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. I feel awful for saying this but Aiden was just as much on my mind as Mimi was last night. I knew that he wouldn't have understood what had happened last night and I felt terrible for not getting the chance to explain.
As I slipped my phone out of my black school bag, my stomach dropped as I realised that there was still no message from Aiden. I opened up a new message and began to type.
Aiden, hey it's me April, obviously. Look we really need to talk, I know that you think that there was something happening with me and Kyle last night but it wasn't, it's actually a really long and crazy story but the point is all I could think about last night was you. I wished so bad that we had kissed, I can't even begin to explain. I just really need to see you, so we can talk at some point today?
I stared at the screen for a while, in doubt. This was exactly how I felt, it wasn't a lie and it's what I wanted to say. So, why did it frighten the hell out of me, when I thought about actually pressing send? After about a solid minute of gazing at the words on my phone, I finally gave in to my fear and erased the whole message. I was such a chicken, sometimes! I quickly typed a new message and pressed send.
Hey, I think we need to talk...
Not quite as informative as the last message but it would have to do.
"Hey," Kyle said as he leapt inside of the car.
"You scared the life out of me," I said as I slapped his arm and slipped my phone back into my bag.
We pretty much spent the entire journey in silence. I was quietly, listening for that sound that would let me know that Aiden had replied. It never came.
As we pulled up in the school car park, that scary feeling that I had expected to feel, never came. After everything that had happened lately, staring eyes and whispers in the corridor were the least of my worries.
"You, ok?" I asked Kyle as I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
"Yeah, you?" He replied.
"I'm ok. You will let me know, if you hear anything about Mimi?" I asked as I stepped out of the car door.
"Of course," he replied, throwing me a smile.
"Thanks-"
"Oh my gosh! You have got to be kidding me! Am I seeing what I think I am seeing?" Crystal interrupted as she stormed towards me and Kyle.
As I looked over her shoulder I spotted Aiden stepping out of the car. They must have pulled up at the same time as us, this did not look good. Great!
"Crystal, calm down," I tried to say as she continued on with her rant.
"You said that you were staying away. I mean, when Aiden said that HE was outside of your house last night that was one thing but to come in together the next day!"
"Crystal it is not what you think and will you be quiet everyone is starting to stare," I shout, whispered at her.
"No! I am so disappointed in you April! This guy cheats on you, rips your heart to shreds, makes a complete and utter idiot out of you and what do you do? You hand the cheater, yourself on a flipping plate!"
I was usually very calm in situations such as these, always acting as the peace maker but I had, had enough. For weeks now, it seemed as though everyone was in control of my life except for me and I was fed-up with it! Suddenly something just snapped!
"Shut the hell up!" I screamed, causing Crystal to freeze, which was something that I had never actually seen her do before.
"I am so sick and tired of being told what to do by you and everyone else! Who do you think you are! You do not control me Crystal, despite what you may think in that stupid head of yours!"
I heard her gasp and with that I stormed past her and walked away. I suddenly stopped in my tracks and turned back to face her, one last time. The anger had completely taken over.
"And for you're information, Mimi is in hospital and I was doing something that you should try sometime...Being a friend!" I could see the guilt that now consumed her entire face as she shifted her eyes to the ground, looking rather embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," I heard her mutter, sounding more than just a little bit ashamed of herself.
I quickly turned my eyes to Kyle and gave him a look, that told him that I was sorry for all of the drama. He seemed to understand and so I turned back around and tried to find Aiden, who had disappeared as soon as Crystal's words had hit the atmosphere.
As I walked up to the school building that I had dreaded returning to all summer, I wanted nothing more than to burst inside. I quickly began to scan the halls in search of Aiden but it was as if he had disappeared off of the face of the earth.
I continued to push through the crowds of girls screaming, because they had just seen their friends after summer break, guys chatting up girls, people being thrown into lockers and having money stolen and teachers shouting to students, telling them to get into class. Everything was definitely back to normal.
As I had finally given up on finding Aiden, a smile appeared on my face as I spotted him standing by a row of lockers, by his friends. As I started to walk towards him, I suddenly froze in my tracks as Cayce Hellman, slid in front of him. My stomach dropped as I watched her slip her arms around his strong neck, flicking her chocolate brown hair in the air. I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying to him but from the high pitch tone in her voice, I knew that she was flirting. As if he knew that I was watching him, his eyes quickly lifted and met mine. I could see the hurt in his light brown eyes and then in a matter of seconds they turned cold and dark, then he turned his gaze back to Cayce's face. I knew that he was angry with me but surely he would give me the chance to explain. Wrong. I watched as he wrapped his strong hand around her waist and laughed at whatever stupid joke that she was telling. I knew that he was just as aware of my presence, as I was his. As my entire body filled with anger, I did the only thing that I could do.
I walked away...
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So there you go my lovlies chapter 8!!! Hope you enjoyed it and if you did please VOTE VOTE VOTE :) lol
Did you see that coming?
What did you think of all of the crazy events in this chapter?
Also I have a super surprise for you...ready? Chapter 9 will be from AIDEN'S POV!!!! So look out for it :)
Can't wait to hear your feedback :)