When Nathan left for work, I was left feeling lonely, like I had been in a crowded room before and now I am just alone. Doing what most people do, I take the phone from my pocket and see what there is to do on it, when I recieve a text. Its from an unknown number, a number I cannot see due to it being private.
From Unknown
Tell your boyfriend to give up, or sweetheart, it won't just be him we kill, it will be you too and the longer it takes, the more your family will suffer
It reads and I drop the phone, terrified. Who is it? How do they have my number? Shit, shit, shit, no fuck, fuck, fuck. Suddenly, the doors starts knocking and I scream my loudest, highest shriek.
"Rosie! Are you okay? Open the door!" Ollie shouts and I sigh, running over to open the door. Immediatley, he pushes me inside, checking me over for any signs of injury.
"I'm fine, I was just watching a scary movie when you knocked," I lie, making him relax.
"Oh, why is your phone on the floor?"
"I threw it when it scared me, sorry," I apologise, running over and exit the text message, but I make sure I keep it as evidence on my phone. the next thing I do is contact Nathan.
To Nathan
Hey, listen I know you are at work and I am so sorry but there is an emergency, no one is hurt, I just need you to come home and see something, but please make sure you act normally, Ollie has come back over and he cannot have anything to do with this, love you xxx
I lead Ollie over to the sofa and let him explain how he told Steph what he told me and then she kissed him and they made up completely. Thankfully, Nathan replies seconds later.
From Nathan
I'm coming home right now, if you ever need me, it doesn't matter where I am, tell me and I will be there, no apologies, I love you too babe xxx
I relax a little, just waiting for the door to open and for Nathan to walk in and make everything better like he normally does. This text is just proof that even if we overcome one problem, another will arise and we will never be safe.
The door opens and Nathan walks in, looking tired and concerned.
"Hey mate, you alright?" Ollie asks, tearing his eyes away from the football for three seconds, maximum.
"Yeah, just a tough day, how is everything here?" Nathan asks, purposefully looking at me.
"Good, Rosie watched a horror film and screamed when I knocked the door, I think she's still shaking," Ollie laughs and I laugh along with him, but Nathan does not, he just looks hurt and makes his way over to me, kissing my forehead, so I sneakily give him the phone.
"Aww babe everything will be okay, don't worry, I'm here," he says but only I know the double meaning behind his words. He then leaves, going into the bedroom.
"Calm down, it was just a horror movie," Ollie jokes, forcing me to laugh again. In the nicest way possible, I want him to go and stay with Steph, just so me and Nathan can sort all of this mess out.
"Why are you here?" I ask ollie, and he looks toward me, confused.
"Do you not want to see your big brother after so long?"
"Of course I do, but I'm pretty sure Steph will want to see her boyfriend as well, so why aren't you with her?" He looks down, and I know the situation is serious when he doesn't watch the footie, he talks to me.
"I just wanted to make sure he was, you know, looking after you, but you're right, I should go and be with Steph, when did you get so right about everything?" He hugs me, squeezing me tightly and leaves, smiling at me. All I can do is wave as he leaves and as soon as he is out of sight, I collapse, slumping in a heap on the sofa.
I think through all of the possible things that could happen, what if they get my mom? I wouldn't know, I'm too for away from her. No, I can't let that happen, I think as a stream of tears fall from both of eyes. I sob into my sleeve, crying because I have been so stupid. How could I have gotten myself involved in all of this? Oh yeah, I fell in love. Isn't that always the reason?
"Lily," I hear him sigh as I start to cry harder, coughing as the tears don't stop.
"We'll sort his out, I promise," he says but I shake my head.
"You don't know that, it's not just me anymore, it's my family too," I stutter, not very clearly.
"I know, but we can keep them safe too."
"No you can't, two people can't be in three places or more at once, it's impossible," I explain and start to think more rationally. Then, a plan forms in my head. I stand up and wipe the tears from my cheeks.
"I'll take Ollie home with me," I say and watch Nathan silently evaluate my statement.
"No."
"What? Why?" I ask, slightly pissed off that he said that.
"I don't want you being that far away, I won't be able to protect you," he shrugs, acting as if this entire conversation is unimportant to him.
"This isn't about me or you, it's about my mom and Ollie and they come first, they need protecting more than I do," I argue, getting seriously irritated by him.
"I know you care about your family and believe me, I do too, but my job is to protect you and I can't do that if your miles away," he explains, talking to me like I am four years old.
"At the end of the day, my family are in danger because of me, so it's my job to keep them safe and if that means moving back home for a while, so be it. We'll be safer there anyway," I finish, going to Nathan to get my phone.
"How long will you be gone for?" He whispers and it is clear he has realised that nothing he could have ever said would have changed my mind.
"How long will it take you to find them?" I return and he looks down.
"Anything from days to months," he whispers, not looking me in the eye.
"I'll be gone for as long as I need to," I reply, more harshly than I meant it, taking the phone from Nathan's pocket and asking Ollie if he would drive me home.
"When will you go?" Nathan asks from the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.
"Tonight," I reply and hear a sigh.
"I'll miss you," he mutters and just like that, I'm not annoyed anymore. The reason he didn't want me to go was because he would miss me, and in all honesty, I'm going to miss him too. I make my way over and kiss him, slowly and gently, letting him know that I'm here for him.
"I'll miss you too, I love you," I say and he smiles, kissing my forehead and pulling me into a tight hug.
"I love you too baby."
After receiving a lecture from work about the importance of showing up and putting in effort, they denied my request for a week off, instead only giving me a few days. I was content though, because Nathan promised he would make sure that this was all over as soon as he could, and I trust it will. Ollie also quizzed me on why I asked him to leave and then asked him to take me home, but I just told him I wanted to see mom, closing the conversation.
I stand here now, facing Nathan in front of the door and wonder if this will be the last time I see him. Yes, it may sound very dramatic and it may be an over reaction, but what he is doing is dangerous and could result in something serious, and if that is the case, if he could possibly be killed in this, I want to make sure I say goodbye properly.
I wrap my weak arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as tears drop down my pale cheeks. He wraps his arms around my waist, supporting me as I am not balanced when I have to reach up to him on my tiptoes this way. He doesn't say anything, he just buries his face in ny hair, in the crook of my neck. Then, I pull back and press my quivering lips against his. Its quick and gentle, but perfect as he loosens his grip, but does not release me. My arms hang loosely on his shoulders as I stare into his changed green eyes. He was forced to wear them when he discovered Ollie was on his way.
"I promise that I will sort this out Lily, I will make sure that this is over and you can come back home," I nod, smiling and kiss him again, not wanting to hear any more promises he may have no choice but to break.
"I'll miss you so much," he whispers. Just as I am about to reply, the door erupts with knocking, and we are forced to break apart to answer it. I open the door to see Ollie, his hands in his pockets, Steph by his side. What? Why is she here? I think in the nicest way possible.
"Rosie, Steph wants to meet mom, so I invited her with us, that okay?" After thinking it through quickly in my head, I decide maybe it would be a good idea to have Steph out of the way too, that would mean more people were kept out of trouble. I nod.
"Wait? You're living with NATHAN?" Steph shouts, looking inside to see him stood there. Shit, she didn't know.
"Yeah, didn't you know?" Ollie asks, and I slap myself in the head.
"Actually, me and Lily are sort of a thing now, well we have been for a while," Nathan says, surprising me. He then proceeds to wrapping his arms around me from behind, kissing the top of my head. What is he doing?
"Why didn't you tell me?" Steph asks, glaring a little.
"Why didn't you tell me about Ollie?" I return and then she backs down completely.
"Are we going to go or not?" Ollie asks, sensing where the conversation will lead. I nod and take advantage of Ollie taking my things to the car, because it means I can talk to Nathan. When the other couple have left, I turn to him and ask what that was all about.
"What I feared would happen did, so what is the point in keeping it a secret? I'm planning on telling them team anyway, we could use their help, plus, they'll be interested to know someone else is onto them. Now the world can know I love you, that's all I ever wanted from the start," he whispers and I am forced to kiss him one last time before I go to the door.
"I'll be back soon," I say and walk out, leaving him behind. I can't bare to look back, so instead I just continue to walk, tears unstoppable as they flow from my eyes.
In the car, I was forced to be around the happy couple who were excited to be taking the next step in their relationship, but instead of listening to the cute, sweet things they said to each other, I put earphones in, listening to my music instead. I had to skip the songs that reminded me of Nathan, since the closest thing I would have of him for days would be the texts and calls and the clothes I took from his drawer, wanting to sleep in them, the way I always do.
Nathan said I was allowed to tell my mom about us now, that we no longer had to be a secret and for that I was grateful. At least I would be able to tell my mom about how much I loved him. The only downside is that I am going to have to suffer Steph's endless questions on how we got together, whether I love him and all the other details. I love her but god she can talk.
When we finally reached the house, we witnessed my mom scream and then start crying because of how happy she was to see us all. She seems to like Steph and from what I have told her about Nathan, she likes him too and cannot wait to meet him.
To Nathan
Just told my mom, already loves you and wants to meet you, how are things? Xx
From Nathan
That's so sweet, I can't wait to meet her either, and not much info yet, going to see the boys when Kyle gets here, they'll be better than us. I miss you so much already :( xx
To Nathan
Good luck, I hope they understand, and I miss you too :( xx
From Nathan
They will, I love you so much and I promise you will be able to come home soon xx
To Nathan
I love you too xx
We continued to text for the rest of the night and then he rang me before we went to bed. I changed into his shirt and climbed into my old bed, falling asleep with tears of missing him on my pillow.
From Nathan
Everything went amazingly, they're okay with it and they're going to help us, it might take longer than we thought though, I know that's not good news but we'll find them soon.
I miss you so much, I hated waking up without you in my arms, I love you so much and when you wake up, remember you were the star of my dreams, always are xx
Reading that message, I cried a little more but wiped them away for they were foolish. I chose to be with him, I chose to get myself involved and I chose to leave because of it, so why am I crying? Instead, I go downstairs and see my mom watching this morning.
"Hey sweetheart," she greeted and moved up so I could join her.
"Hey," I replied and them I noticed the face, the one that she always pulled when she wanted to ask something but was afraid. So I called her on it.
"Well, I'm just worried that maybe you're getting into things too fast with this boyfriend of yours, have you made sure you've thought his through? Do you know that what you feel is love and not just really liking this person?" She asks and I shake my head at how alike my family are.
"I know how I feel, I know what I feel, I think this might be it mom," I say and she smiles, finally looking at me like I have grown up. Just like that, the conversation is over and understands. Thank God.
_________________________________________________
Its been two days since I left. The only progress Nathan made was a location of the phone, only to find it broken when they got there with no-one around. He called me that night and told me about it, fuming of course. I feel so bad for him, I just want to hug him and tell him it will be okay. Its getting to much for him, I can tell that he is stressed but he won't give up. He told me he will never give up.
Ollie decided that he wanted to make dinner for the first time, undoubtedly trying to impress Steph who was fitting in well with the family. Then, mom decided to play the music we were brought up on listening, forcing us to dance with her the way we used to as well. Right now, Ollie, his face as red as the traffic light outside, is holding hands with mom, dancing to Whitney Houston. Of course, Steph and I are watching, laughing hysterically at him, when the phone in my pocket vibrates with a message, I go into the other room to read it, knowing it will be from Nathan.
From Unknown
Did you think running away with your brother and his girlfriend to mommy was going to make us go away? It won't stop us, you won't stop us if we want to pay a visit. We're not very patient people Lily.
I would have expected myself to cry, or at least be a little scared by this message, but instead I react with anger. How dare this person threaten my family! How dare they make me feel like this. Not thinking rationally, I reply.
To Unknown
What do you want?
Now, when the message has sent and the anger is disappearing, I become terrified of what I have done. Why did I reply? Shit, what will Nathan say? Then, another message.
From Unknown
Hello Lily, we would like you to go to work tomorrow, we wouldn't want you to get in trouble would we? When you leave, get into the black car in the corner of the car park, and if you even think about telling or bringing anyone, it will be your helpless mother first. Understand?
I reply a simple yes, the fear eating away at me as I sit and think. How do they know I have to go to work tomorrow? How do they know I could get into trouble for it? How do they know where I am right now? Are they following me? I should never have replied, or should I?
This is what I must do though, it would mean keeping the people I love safe and isn't that all that matters? Nathan I know will be annoyed when he finds out what I have done, but for now and until I can think of a plan, I must act normal with him, as if nothing new has happened.
Now I can't help but cry.
I'm sorry if there are mistakes in this I haven't edited it, hope you enjoyed it and comment your thoughts! X