This chapter is dedicated to VirveNousiainen : Happppyyy Birthddayyyy Pumpkin! Did you like your surprise? Enjoy :D
Happy Birthday to all those whose birthday is on 2nd March! :*
Happy Holi to all my Indian readers :)) ♥️ (To all those playing this year: please play safe & don't waste water. 🤗 🎨 💦)
Hixtape is out beaches! Bow down to my sunshine 🤘🏼 peasants. 😼
Hoseok: ..if I was something..
Me: bish..stfu you more than something.. you everything.. my everything aye 😗
Unedited. (I guess.)
Namjoon's POV:
He looked at me like I were crazy! And then he started laughing. A full crazy, I can't control my laughter, I probably sound like a dying hyena but this is my windshield laughter and I can't hold it in laugh.
By the time he was done clutching his stomach and wiping his eyes he said, "So wait a minute, lemme get this straight. My grandpa? My halahbuhji out of all people would want to keep us apart if I was caught in a controversy? Get me married? To a woman at that? Hal-bi is the most chilled out oldie I have ever come across. He's not one to pretend Joon. If he doesn't like me being gay, he doesn't, he'll make sure I know that. But LGBT isn't an uncomfortable topic with him like most old people. He's so chilled out. Where'd you get that odd idea from? Oh god that's got to be the most weirdest thing I've heard- well not technically cause the weirdest thing has to be the combination of baby pink and yellow, like not gold yellow, taxi yellow! Now why would anyone match pink with anything? Pink is bae and sufficient in itself it doesn't need anything else-" he starts rambling and I cut him off.
"Baby stop- I I don't understand. They said- but what?" I think I'm going to have a seizure.
"Babe, are you okay?" he asks.
"But your grandpa, I've met him, he wasn't really happy to know-"
"Wait a second! You met hal-bi? When?! Why'd you not tell me?"
"Well technically I didn't meet him, your father told me to pick him up, we were to have lunch, so when I went to his office he was talking to him. I overheard their conversation."
"How can you suggest that? That's downright disgusting! He's one of the future heirs to Kim & Son's-"
"And that's why Appa, I'm saying that he must do this. Besides who knows? They might fall in love later?"
"Look I don't care if he fools around with people as long as, in the end he finds his way. This conversation is over."
"Nae Appa."
"That's strange Joonie, my grandfather would never say that. There's more than what meets the eye, ears in this case."
"Hmm. Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Now I just have to meet this guy and take care of it. Either his grandfather is someone he's not or...his father. (A/N: haha mwahaha more drama. okay bye. ;) )
I feel lips brushing my forehead, "You're going to crease your forehead in your twenties itself." he giggles.
His eyes shining, his wide smile. Oh god. He's so beautiful. I ruined that. I ruined that smile.
Tears run freely.
"Hey, what's wrong?" concern shining in his beautiful big eyes.
"I'm sorry Seokjin. I'm so sorry. I ruined us, I ruined you. I never meant to hurt you Seokjin. God I hate myself for it. I know that doesn't make it okay, nothing I say will ever make it okay. I just want you to forgive me Jinnie, I can't live with you hating me. I'll do everything to prove myself to you. Everything and anything. It's okay if you don't want to be with me, I understand because your happiness is all that matters to me baby boy. I need your forgiveness, I know I'm not worth it but I'm going to work for it." I say determinedly but my tears berate me.
I look into his watery eyes. "Kim Namjoon, you stupid, stupid man. I love you, silly." he says straddling my lap.
Before I can return the ily his lips are on mine.
I know we're not in the best place right now. But the way he moves his hips onto mine I can't help but want to bend him over the bed and pound into him. His lips move in sync with mine. His tongue still has this unique sweetness to them.
My hands move to his ass and I squeeze the not so round mounds. He moans into my mouth. I pull away due to lack of air with a frown. He looks at me through dilated eyes.
"Babe? What happened to your ass?" I say running my hands all over his back and body.
"What do you mean?" he asks, avoiding eye contact, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.
"Love have you lost weight? Yes you have, dramatically!" I can practically feel his butt bones.
"Are you trying to say you don't love my ass because it's not fat any more?!" he frowns and I kiss his pout.
"No baby you could be 110 kgs overweight or 50kgs underweight and I'll still love you and your body the same. It's just that it's not healthy for you to lose weight like that. I can practically feel your bones. Why haven't you been eating or taking care of yourself?" I ask feeling a little annoyed that he's not been treating himself well.
"Why you ask? Namjoon we broke up. For an IQ as high as yours you're real dense." he rolls his eyes at me.
"So? You didn't take care of yourself because we fell apart? So tomorrow if something happens to us or to me you'll throw yourself to the dogs? A jinjja baboyeyo! You're always like that Jin, you never listen to me, always doing what you want! You're always like this. It's always about others, you don't care about yourself! What about putting yourself first-" he cuts me off by pecking my lips.
"I don't need to care about myself when I have someone caring about me so much." he says with an amused smile. "Besides, you have no right to say anything to me because you've not been any better. Don't think I've not noticed how insomniac you've become. Last night was the first time you've slept well in days. So don't you point fingers at me." he says sternly and I look at him sheepishly.
"Besides this was bound to happen Joon. I couldn't cook or eat or even be myself. More than the break up it was the reason for the break up. I had nightmares for quite a while-"
"Why didn't you tell me? You know what? I don't understand. You stopped cooking, eating and talking to the boys the way you used to all because of me. I gave you nightmares. I promised to love protect and cherish you. I did none of that. Why are you still with me Jinnie? I don't deserve you. You deserve better." my voice quivers.
"Because I love you and I know you Kim Namjoon. You wouldn't ever willingly hurt me. I just wish you had trusted me enough to tell me what was bothering you. What hurts more than you forcing yourself on me was you not thinking I was capable enough to share your burdens. A relationship isn't just about one person. I know I'm childish and annoying and my jokes are lame but I'm not stupid. I'm not a push over. I'm not immature to the point that things have to be hidden from me.
My father always saw my brother as someone who could handle the business and me as an advertisement asset. I know why he must have thought it's better off not to tell me. Deep down I didn't want to accept it but it's true, I'm just the son he's not proud of. But it's okay, cause I love my father.
The boys love and respect me because I'm their hyung but I know there are times they're embarrassed by me but that's okay cause I'm older than them behaving like someone way younger than them. I get it.
But that's not okay with you. It isn't okay because I love you. A relationship is about love respect and trust. You love me but you don't trust me."
I swallow the lump in my throat.
"No baby, that's not true. Never have I seen you as annoying or immature. Your outer shell is loud, cheerful and outgoing not annoying, filled with dad jokes which are lame but that shows your creativity, your childishness and what you call immaturity is just your cuteness and innocence. Can you be a bit stupid sometimes? Yes. Can you trouble me? Yes. But I love you all of you. Your outer shell too. Your inner self is soft, warm, caring, loving, selfless, independent, reliable, strong- willed, stubborn, beautiful, gorgeous and God I'm running out of adjectives. As a partner you're everything one wants and everything I need. Never have I been embarrassed by you, I'm not your father. He's a man that is losing out on the pleasure of having a son like you. The boys love and respect you so much, yes they're embarrassed by you sometimes because they're still boys but if anyone else looks down upon you or calls you immature they are the first ones to show them their place and tell them off. You're right, you're not stupid and not a push over. You're kind to people and their faults. And yes a relationship requires trust, respect and love and I love you, so fucking much, you got no idea. I trust you, more than anything and anyone and with my life, blindly. I respect you for you. And I'm sorry I made you doubt it. I'll prove it to you for the rest of our lives if you let me. The only reason I didn't tell you other than our parents telling me not to was that I didn't want to worry you, burden you, pull you into a controversy you didn't deserve to be in. I wanted you out of harms way, all safe and away from everyone else. I just wanted to protect you and I ended up hurting you. It backfired because of my selfishness. I'm sorry for everything. I really am."
"Was this so hard to say? Before? Huh? Was this so hard to say?!" he cries hitting my chest. I wrap my arms around him as he sobs into my neck. "I kept thinking it w-was me, that y-you f-finally got sick of m-me. You mean mean man Kim Namjoon!" he wails and my vision blurs.
I tighten my arms around him. "Never- I'd never get sick of you. Mianhaeyo nae sarang." I say and kiss his hair.
Unknown's POV:
"Have you broken them apart yet?" The man says.
"No sir. Not yet." he replies.
"You said that by the time the companies merge they would be done with each other. Do you want more money?!" he roars.
"It's not that. Soon sir, you can rely on me. I won't let you down." he says timidly.
"Good, now get out."
Well? So? Oh! I know too much fluff. But the chapters are just increasing I have no idea what I'm doing with my story xD.
How are you guys doing? I love you all so much. Thank you, you gorgeous people for all the love and support. All those reading and voting for this story, you make me smile and cry out of happiness. (I'm hormonal)
Two more weeks before they end. And then a nice long summer before I begin my undergrad course. It's a lie ya know? The studying never stops!
Oh and guys? I know this is random but isn't that panda cub in Kung Fu Panda 3 just shooo cuteeeee! The one that goes like "stripy baby!" to the tigress. God! I just want to adopt her. She's fictional and animated, I need a life.
Lei lei.