Warning:Grab your tissue boxes. My dear friend Maddi who hasn't read Tmi and just reads this Fanfic for me rated this chapter a 9.5 out of 10 of sadness.
Alec's POV
My mom was stained with Ichor, her weapon in her right hand. When she returned from the hunt alone, I just assumed that Dad went somewhere else. But when she called me down from my room, I knew there was something else going on. She sat down on the couch in the living room, I sat across from her on the coffee table. She took my own hands in her own, her hands were stained red. Ichor isn't red. My heart was thumping in my chest, I knew what was coming next. A few stray tears escaped from her eyes. "A-A-Alec, your Father." She took a deep breath, it was very difficult for her to say it. "He's, he's, he's dead. A demon got to him. The r-runes wouldn't work. I'm so sorry." Tears were now cutting tracks in her cheeks, but I stayed strong for her. My mind was numb, it was hard to process this new information. Just a few hours ago I was talking to him, it wasn't a good talk, but he was talking. Now he'll never do that again. He went to his grave with the last conversation he had with me was a fight.
"Come 'mere, Mom." She was in my arms crying freely. She was no longer the strong, understanding woman I knew her as, she was deteriorating in my arms. "Mom, we'll get over this together. You tell Isabelle and Jace when they get back." I rapidly blinked my eyes.
"Why not you, Alec? I don't think I can do this alone. Please stay with me." She was pleading with me, I felt really selfish now.
"Mom, you know I would, but I can't stay here right now." She knew what I was going to go do, everyone would probably know. She nodded her head weakly. "I love you."
"Please, just make sure you come home. If you don't, I'll never forgive myself."
"I'll come back, I can guarantee that." I kissed the top of her head and got up. When I was opening the door I took one more look at her. Her face was buried in her hands, and her body shook with each sob. Without another second sprang there, I left. There was a bar pretty close to here if I ran.
~o~
After the Angel knows how many drinks, I finally leave the bar. This is why I drink so much, I can't feel anything for a while, but I'm the most vulnerable when I'm drunk. Everything is numb and I can't feel anything, but I'm emotionally unstable. There's more cons than pros to drinking my problems away, but I still do it. My feet seem to carry me themselves, I can't feel myself controlling them anymore. I'm probably going just finding an alleyway to pass out in, I can't show up to the institute like this. When I stop moving, I finally see what my destination was. Well, maybe it just might work.
Magnus's POV
Just anything boring day at home. Meeting clients, watching tv, there's nothing much to do anymore. I wonder how Alec's doing, probably moved on by now. He must be doing better than me, but I'm doing better than how I was. Chinese take out boxes don't litter my coffee table anymore, and I put makeup back on. No glitter. Because there's no sparkle to me without Alec.
Nothing really eventful happens here. Catarina occasionally visits, but she just uses magic to open the door. So when there's a key turning the lock, it's defiantly something new. I pondered for minute who would be coming to me at this time, then I remembered. Alec never returned his key. Without even thinking of the consequences, I run up to the door. He opens it and there he stands there, messy hair and all. His eyes are red, and he's clearly drunk. His blue eyes are now more gray. He only took one look at me before Alec collapsed into my arms. I half carried half dragged him to the couch. Even then when I tried to put him on the couch, he held onto my shirt and pulled me down with him. He apparently knew what he was doing because he pushed himself onto my lap, put his arms around my neck, buried his head in my chest, and let out a shaky breath. "Mags, he's dead, gone, not coming back. I'm so sorry." The tears started to escape his eyes. The man that I still love, falling apart in my arms. Him calling me Mags, him coming to me in his most desperate times, his brain can't probably even process full sentences, yet he remembers my address and to come to me. Not Isabelle, not Jace, not even Clary. More reasons for my heart to shatter into a million pieces. I don't know who he's talking about, but someone important died. "Who died?" I whispered to him soothingly.
"My dad. It's all because of Sebastian. He sent a hoard of demons after him. Now he's dead. I mean, he's my d-dad. Worse is that he died thinking I hated him. We had a fight about me being gay, and now my last words to him were 'Fuck you, Dad. Leave. Now.' Do you not know how much that hurts?" Alexander and his father never had the most perfect relationship, but losing a father is always sad. Even if they didn't care for you and it was your fault.
"Shhhh, it's okay. Stay with me and everything will be alright." That may be what I said, but it wasn't entirely true. He has to be gone by morning, it'll be harder on me than it will be on him sending him away. He was still crying and I picked him up a bit and laid him on his back. They were right, he has lost weight and hasn't completely gained it back. I could feel his ribs bulging out under my hands. Every second he's here breaks me down even more. Each touch of my hands, each word, gives me a new reason to hurt. It was me who made him like this. If only I had given him another chance, but it's too late, he probably doesn't want me back since I've broken and rejected him so many times. Since I plan to get him out as soon as possible, I start to unbutton his white button down shirt, so I can change it. It's pretty dirty and he never came for his stuff. He had it buttoned all the way to his neck, which was odd. Alec never liked having it that way, he described it as "awkward and uncomfortable." The first two buttons were undone, and a silver chain glistened in the moonlight around his neck. At the end of the chain was a silver band, the silver band. I fumbled around with it in my fingers. "Y-you kept it. Even after all I did." Alec finally noticed what I was doing and met my eyes.
"Of course I did, it's hope for me. Hope I can still have you even though I don't deserve you." Alexander, if only I could take you back, I can't. I want to desperately, but I can't. I can't bring myself to do it, you'd be better off without me. You love me, I know. But you can do so much better than me. You deserve someone who can provide a life long love. My immortality is a touchy subject, I can't give it up because I'm afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid that I can never see those blue eyes again. To give it up would be an easy job, but my stupid fear that's stopping me. How I longed to be able to say that out loud, but I can't hurt him more than I already have. My mind was too caught up in its own thoughts that I didn't even notice Alec deeply looking into my eyes. He kissed me before I could do anything about it. It was desperate and messy, but that's what made it special. We were so desperate for each other that we didn't care how messy it was, or how good it was. What mattered was that it happened. We ended up getting a little carried away, literally. I carried him to the bedroom and laid him on our old bed. Next thing that happens in that I'm sprawled on top of him and he's snakeing his hands up my shirt, that's when I stop it. "Alec, Alec, no. Stop. You're not in your right mind. You're drunk and hurting, and I don't want to take advantage of you. You'll regret it in the morning if we don't stop. It's enough." He reluctantly pulls his hands away, and pecks me on the lips one more time. He gently pushes my shoulder, silently telling me to move. I move off if him onto my side, and I cage Alexander in my arms. "Magnus, I still love you, you know?"
"I know, I do too."
"Magnus, for one night, please, let me know how it felt to be loved again." That was the last blow my heart could take before it shattered into a million pieces. Not only have I broken him, but he doesn't know what love feels like anymore. It's sad because love is a beautiful thing, especially Alec's love. It's still there, though, just hurt.
"Alec, you're going to regret this in the morning."
"I'll regret nothing. There's nothing I miss more than being loved by you. I might even miss you more than my own father. At least I'm certain you always used to love me."
"Alexander." The tears starred to pool in my own eyes. "I do still love you, and I always will no matter what. Even when you're old and gray. No matter what, I'll never forget you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood." I took his hand in my own and kissed each of his knuckles. He took back his hand and wiped his tears away.
"Then show me. Show me that you still love me." That was all the encouragement I needed. My lips instantly met his, and I laced my fingers in his hair, slightly tugging on it. Tears are streaming down both our faces, and we can't distinguish who's are who's. Halfway through he pulls away and notices a box on the side of my bed."You've started smoking again," said in a undertone.
"Yes, I have."
"You're better than that, you don't need it. You're so much better without it." If only you knew, Alec. Instead of talking, I returned to kissing him. The kiss is full of passion, as much as I can put into it. To make sure he knows I love him. I'm straddling his thighs, and that's when I decide to stop it. Instead I lay my forehead on his, and placing a sweet kiss on his nose. "You believe me now?"
"Yes, I know you won't take me back, but at least I know you love me like I do. Can i sleep here?" In my mind, I wanted to say no, but my heart said yes. "Okay," was all I said. We both laid down on the bed, and it was almost like old times. My chest to his back, and my hand wrapped protectively around his waist. In that moment I did something I haven't done since my mother was around. Sang. And there was one song that popped into my head. One that perfectly described what Alec was to me.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head, and I cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another,
You'll regret it all one day
You are myy sunshine, my only sunshin
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Please don't take my sunshine away
Hey, I don't own that song either. In order to regain some feelings, can you guys go check out my friend's new story.She's just starting out on wattpad and has a nice original story going on. It's called "Golden" and its by Princess_Annabeth. So please go check it out! :) Feels! Vote, comment, and stay awesome!