The grocery store wasn't crowded this time of night and Alex bought five pounds of boiled crawfish, a stuffed artichoke, boudin, and four containers of pancake batter. She stomped into the brothers' carriage house apartment.
"Where are y'all?" she demanded. "I brought your dinner and your breakfast for the next few days."
"How's Gabe?" Cale asked.
"How are you?" Rile asked.
"The hero who was hurt helping me is fine," Alex said. "He has a chest tube and as soon as it's out, I'll spring him from the hospital. I'm fine. Now please eat: y'all need your strength." She laid out newspaper on the table. "Here. Crawfish. Can you peel them or do I have to do it for you?"
Anger is an anesthetizing emotion.
Alex told that calm part of her brain to shut up.
Rile struggled off the couch and Cale hauled himself out of the recliner. Alex watched them, hands on her hips.
They were healthy and whole when they met me and now look at them.
"Sit down. I'll pour the drinks," she said.
Once they sat down, she slammed the mismatched plastic tumblers in front of them. "Sure you don't need me to peel the crawfish for you?"
"What has your back up?" Rile took a handful of crawfish from the center pile.
"Babysitting heroes stupid enough to rescue me and get hurt in the process," she retorted. "Let me eat my stuffed artichoke in peace."
"Don't push us away with angry words. I'm sorry, Alex," Cale said.
Fire truck it, he's onto me. Quick, do something!
"Aaaaaa!" Alex held up both hands. "No apologies. Please just eat. I'll go over the edge if I have to listen to some fire truck apology." She ripped the leaf off the artichoke and savagely scraped off the bread crumb goodness with her teeth.
Morgan is dead thanks to the brothers and one is in the hospital thanks to me. They saved me and it's so hard not to hug them and love them and tell them how much it means to me. I must must must push them away so they don't get hurt anymore.
The brothers peeled and ate their crawfish with care. Halfway through her stuffed artichoke, Alex stood up. "Martini. Chocolate martini. I'll be back. Try not to get shot while I'm gone."
Maybe liquor can burn away the feelings I have for them. I'm not a weepy drunk and maybe I can just drink enough to pass out.
She stomped out the door and up the stairs, into her apartment, and back down the stairs. She had a box in her arms and unloaded it in the kitchen.
Don't hug them, don't love them, don't think about their puppy dog eyes and soft hides and heavenly leathery scent. Just snap at them so they back away and won't get hurt anymore.
"Either of you able to drink a martini? Or will that kill the mighty Guardians of the universe in your condition?"
"I want one," Rile called back.
"Pass," Cale said.
Alex walked out of the kitchen and handed Rile a frosted green triangular glass. She sat down and drank out of its mate.
"Liquor is proof that God loves us," she said.
"There is plenty of other proof," Cale said.
"Shut up," Alex said. "That was not an invitation to wax eloquent on theology."
Poor sweet Cale, the kindest of all the brothers, thinking the best of me. If I had rescued him instead of Gabe, he'd probably be dead now. Surely even he has limits that I can push him past so he wants to pack up with his brothers and leave.
"I've never heard you tell Cale to shut up," Rile said in awe.
"First time for everything." Alex sipped her martini. "Keep eating. Y'all need your strength."
"You too," Rile said.
"Whatever." Alex resumed attacking her artichoke.
You're in danger, too, strongest of all the brothers. You are waaaayyy too interested in me. Your warrior skills won't save you, just like they didn't save Gabe.
*****
When they finished, Alex rolled up the newspaper and threw out the garbage.
"Off to bed with y'all," she said. "Need each other's body heat. Shoo."
"What about you?" Rile asked.
"Y'all be fine," she said. "I'm going out."
Screw anesthetizing emotions. I'm gonna pound some thugs, save some victims, and stop being useless.
"You can't go out," Cale said with distress and clacked his claws. "You're hurt and tired."
"I'm fine and a lot better than you two," Alex said.
"Don't be stupid," Rile tapped his dagger hilt with his claws. "Morgan had you in his grip for two days. You're in terrible shape. Stay here and rest."
You two need me resting here like you need a nuclear warhead on the couch between you.
"We need you here." Cale hauled himself to his feet and touched her arm. "Remember what the Portal Guardian said."
Fire truck it all, that makes sense. Maybe I'll storm Hermann's lab and take out as many of them as I can. Death in a blaze of glory was always my ambition...
Knocks resounded from the door, the sound of something hard hitting it. The brothers hissed and drew their daggers while Alex lit her hand.
"Stay back, you two," Alex said. "I'm the hero this time."
Rile hissed but Cale said, "You're always a hero, but this time we're back up."
The knocks sounded again and Alex inched toward the door.
"I know you're in there," a familiar cracked voice called. "Open up or I'll punch my cane through your window."
"Mrs. Bonifay?" Alex asked and peered through the small rectangular window by the side of the door.
Sure enough, the old lady stood there in all her frizzy-haired glory, ugly aluminum cane resting on the door. A large tote bag slumped at her feet, containers of Tony Chachere seasoning and Community coffee spilling out.
"It ain't Santa Claus. Open up! I know you're in there with those creatures!" Mrs. Bonifay rapped on the door with her cane again.
Alex opened the door and Mrs. Bonifay stepped up to her and examined her closely through her Coke-bottle bottom glasses. She reached up a gnarled hand and stroked Alex's cheek. Astonished, Alex froze.
"Chere, you need someone taking care of you while you take care of them." She glanced over at the equally astonished brothers. "You two look like dead gators." She waved her cane at them. "Sit on the couch. Alex, you're between them. Something about body heat."
When none of them moved, Mrs. Bonifay whacked Alex on the shoulder with her cane. "I'll lay you out if you don't obey me!"
Alex retreated to the couch and the brothers huddled around her, wide-eyed gazes fixed on the little old lady in her flowered house dress. Mrs. Bonifay hauled up her bag and slammed it on the table.
"First, hot toddy for y'all." She dug around in the worn tote bag. "I see you already ate crawfish. I'll start my roux for the gumbo. It can simmer on the stove, and once the gumbo is made, you can serve it whenever you want."
"Mrs. Bonifay, you shouldn't—" Alex started weakly.
The old lady clucked. "You youngsters think only you can serve the Creator of All. We're doomed. Glad I'm old."
Cale chuckled. "How long were you a Guardian, Mrs. Bonifay?"
The old lady dug around more in her bag. "No matter. I served gladly, then had my baby, and that was that."
"You have powers?" Alex asked.
"Just my wits," Mrs. Bonifay said. "Not everything is about speed and strength. Humph, now with that dratted interwebs thing, even less so." She moved into the kitchen, bottles in hand.
She slammed around the cabinets, refusing help, until she filled a battered pot with water, set it on the stove, and added cloves and cinnamon sticks. "You want bourbon or rum in your toddy, dear?" she asked in the sweetest voice Alex had ever heard from her. She held up a bottle of each.
"Rum," Alex said. "The brothers haven't had either, so maybe later, one with bourbon. More Southern. They should try both."
Mrs. Bonifay nodded and went about mixing. In time, she handed each of them a mug of steaming liquid.
"Please tell us about your Guardian missions," Cale said.
"Later. I'm old and tired. I'll make the gumbo and go to bed. Unless you need a second toddy?"
"You can use our bed," Cale motioned to the bedroom door.
She patted his head. "Sweet creature. I'm too old to sleep anywhere but my own bed."
Rile snickered and she rapped his head with knobby knuckles.
"It's too late for you to go home alone," Alex protested and received a rap on the head, too.
"I'm not afraid of street thugs, I told you." Mrs. Bonifay stroked her hair with her gnarled hand. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep that monster Morgan from you."
"Mrs. Bonifay! You couldn't have faced Morgan!" Alex gasped.
"Not everything is strength and speed," Cale whispered in respect.
Mrs. Bonifay nodded. "Even a depraved monster like Morgan doesn't want a crazy old lady yammering about white alligators around as a witness. Now drink and then sleep." She winked at Alex and leaned close to whisper, "Friends help you find important things you lost like your hope and courage. No electric blankets or space heaters ever. Body heat heals."
*****
The next day, by the time it was visiting hours, Gabe's chest tube was out and he was sitting up in the hospital bed. He examined the plastic railings, the wires and tubes running from his body, the remote clipped to his pillow. Alex slipped into the room and shut the door behind her.
"Time to check out, Mr. Godeaux," Alex whispered to him. "I'll take out the IV first, because when I take off those ECG wires, the machine alarms will go off."
Gabe nodded and watched as Alex expertly removed the tape.
"Ready?"
He nodded again and Alex slid the IV out. She pressed gauze to the hole in his hide.
"Hold this gauze. Let me flip off your covers and lower the bed rails. You need to be free to move."
Alex removed Gabe's pulse oximeter but placed it on her finger so that it only beeped once.
"Here are your pants. Here's your shirt that I brought. Don't button it because of the wires. Once we're off the floor, button it." Alex handed over the clothing and turned around.
"They're on," Gabe said.
"Here we go." Alex un-clipped every wire from the ECG monitor.
It wailed in protest and Gabe stood up. Alex took off the oximeter and grabbed Gabe's arm.
"Let's go. Keep your head down and step lively."
They wound their way through the pale hospital corridors full of people and equipment. Once in the elevator, Gabe buttoned his shirt.
They made their way to the concrete parking garage and Alex's latest tiny, battered car. It was more rusted than her last one and had considerably more duct tape on it. A garbage bag was taped over a broken side window.
"Can you survive a trip in my car?" she asked.
"Maybe." He smiled at her.
"I'll try to drive nice."
"There is no try, only do or not do," Gabe said in a Yoda-ish voice.
"Don't quote Star Wars to me." Alex grinned briefly and put her car in gear and took off.
*****
At the carriage house apartment, Cale was quick to embrace his oldest brother. Cale's color changed to his usual greenish gold.
"I see you survived, Perfect Eldest Son," Rile said, but he grinned and shoved Gabe. Rile's color improved to his reddish gold.
"What else did you expect?" Gabe said. "Us perfect eldest ones always survive to order around the lesser ones."
"Let's eat out," Alex said.
They walked to a large white house with looming white columns so typical of the old South. Pink neon popped out the name "The Camellia Grill."
Alex led them past the white marble counter tops and crammed into a corner table. Men in blue work shirts with embroidered company names sat at the counter next to men in striped suits and slicked back hair.
The aluminum stoves had shiny hoods that loomed over the cooks. The walls were painted a pastel pink and small pictures ringed the upper edge of the wall over the kitchen area, surrounding an ancient silver clock with a white face that simulated a pocket watch.
Rile flashed six fingers at the host and shoved money in his hand. The host led them to a six person booth. Rile and Cale crammed on either side of Alex, leaving Gabe alone. He gingerly slid into the seat, obviously in pain.
A waiter in a white shirt and black tie walked to their table, slender order sheet in his hand. Alex ordered pecan waffles and fell silent, leaving the brothers without her usual recommendations. They ordered and it wasn't long before the plates were slid in front of them.
"These pancakes are nothing like the ones from the container." Cale dug his fork into the golden pile dripping with butter and syrup.
"I agree." Gabe cut his with a knife, wincing as the motion jarred his chest tube site.
"Forget pancakes. Whoever thought of a mushrooms and sausages topped with fries and gravy is a genius." Rile flipped a dripping fry into his mouth.
Alex concentrated on her waffle and didn't talk during the meal. When the bill came, Alex snatched it from the waiter.
"I'm leaving," Alex told them as she counted out cash.
The brothers are part of my past now. To be forgotten, utterly. They were hurt helping me and I will never, ever allow that.
"What?" Rile burst out.
"When? Why?" Cale asked more gently.
"Where?" Gabe spoke last and held his side.
"Atlanta or Houston. They're big enough cities where I can disappear so Hermann or the men who experimented on me couldn't track me there. No-one will be trapped looking after me," she lied in her blandest tone. "And I won't be trapped babysitting the all mighty Guardians of the universe. Watch out for Hermann. I only took out two of his men."
Her real destination was the housing projects. One farther away.
Same simple plan: mess with a drug deal farther from home, drop my slipstream, and let the hail of bullets do the rest. No more fighting the good fight, no more being hunted, no more pain. It's time. Just make sure the stalkers don't follow me this time.
"First of all," Rile was far from bland, "Gabe is an idiot. Second, no one is trapped watching you. We were Called here."
"I thought you didn't believe in the Calling." Alex added a larger tip.
I don't need money anymore.
Rile looked heavenward before looking back at Alex. "Of course I believe in it. I'm here aren't I?"
"What if you were Called here because of me? I leave and you're free to go home and restart your clan," Alex said.
"You think we were Called here for you? Are you arrogant or what? Does the world revolve around you, too?" Rile said.
"That's right. You're not Called to save some whore." Alex added more money to the tip.
Cale slapped his hands down on the table. "Never use Morgan's words. He was evil. He was vicious. He was a liar. You are not a whore. You're our ally. You are precious in the eyes of the Creator of All. And mine. Will you listen to me?"
"But Gabe said—" Alex protested.
"Gabe is an idiot. He only thinks he has it all figured out," Rile said.
"Hey." Gabe shook himself out of his amazement hissing involuntarily at the pain in his side. "I never said anything about Alex—"
"Face it, Perfect Eldest Son, you're not all knowing. You've made some dumb calls lately. Whatever you said to Alex that makes her want to fly hundreds of miles away is the dumbest," Rile said.
"I never said anything to insult Alex's honor!" Gabe clamped his jaws shut and clenched his side.
"No, your actions did," Cale hissed and leaned across the table, muzzle to muzzle with his brother. "Shut up."
"There's still Hermann and the agency to consider," Alex said and tugged on Cale's shirt until he sat down.
"Would you be safer in this Atlanta or Houston?" Cale asked, worried. He leaned against Alex and snuck his arm around her waist.
"No." Rile's denial was flat and he draped his arm boldly around her shoulders. "Hermann's a psycho and that agency must have pro's in it. If they can find Alex in New Orleans, they can find her in Atlanta or Houston. We won't be there to help."
"Fat lot of help y'all were. Gabe ended up shot and in the hospital. No one is trapped here with me." Alex wasn't above using that word again.
Trapped. Gabe's word.
"If the choice is either staying with you, watching TV, and eating takeout, versus sleeping on the ground and eating half raw animals, I volunteer to stay with you." Rile squeezed her shoulders and she didn't protest.
"That's perfect training. Really fulfilling that Calling, aren't you, Rile?" Gabe straightened and released his side.
"Cale and I will alternate camping with you, won't we?" Rile looked at his middle brother. "No Gabe to get shot. He's the stupid one."
Cale looked startled to be included, but he nodded. "I don't want Alex to leave. It isn't safe. And . . . and . . ." He took a deep breath. "I'll miss you and worry about you, Alex."
"Uhm." Alex ran her hand through her hair and felt the scar.
Fire truck. Now what? I hadn't counted on this. They were supposed to have their male pride stung, get angry, and storm out. I've been nasty enough to them since Gabe was shot to make them want me gone. How can I protect them now?
"I call tonight with Alex," Rile said with a gleam in his eye. "I want Thai food. Cale will take tomorrow night. I don't care what kind of food he eats. The night after that, Greek again. Different restaurant since Hermann tracked us to the first one."
Alex stood up and Rile and Cale followed her. The three of them walked in silence, leaving Gabe in the diner.
I don't know what to do now but walk away. They're sticking to me like an Anolis Carolinensis on a window screen. I'm hurt, they're hurt, Gabe's hurt and I'm utterly at a loss. I want to curl up on the couch with all three of them until we're all warm and healed.
Rile punched Cale's arm.
"Be useful and rent or buy some DVD's," Rile told him.
"You trust me to pick the movies?" Cale asked.
Alex handed him some cash. "Of course."
Cale favored Rile with a dubious look, but turned off. "I'll go back for Gabe. None of us should be alone."
"I was waiting for you to say that. We walked further away than I thought you would go," Rile said. "We'll shadow you until you find him. From a distance, of course."
"Of course."
Rile nudged Alex. "One lesson in shadowing coming up."
*****
Once back in her apartment, Alex headed for her bathroom and waved Rile to the couch.
"Alex, you were wearing Morgan's shirt."
She stopped in the doorway, but didn't turn around.
"Alex, did he . . .?"
"Rile, you forced this conversation once. Forcing it again would be cruel, cruel on a scale approaching Morgan." She turned around. "I don't think you're that cruel, are you?"
He looked down, for once embarrassed. "No. You don't have to face anyone alone again. You can call me anytime, anywhere, and I'll come. You don't have to be alone." At her hesitation, he added, "I won't whine about being trapped. I mean it." He met her gaze.
"You mean it? You'd come and not give me a hard time?" Alex asked, her voice trembling.
Rile grinned. "I didn't say I wouldn't give you a hard time." His grin faded at Alex's stricken face. "But I do mean that I won't whine some garbage about being trapped. We'll have fun sparring, patrolling, or eating out and drinking. Or all of the above. You need me, just call. You can have me 24/7."
She flung her arms around his neck and hot tears splashed on his shoulder. Rile patted her awkwardly before abandoning his reserve and embracing her.
"I begged him," she sobbed.
"Of course you did," he soothed.
"No, I begged him, Rile. I begged him to stop."
It was the worst thing to her and Rile didn't understand. He felt her wrists sticky with blood against his neck, and that was the least of what Morgan had done to her.
Rile wished that Cale were there to say the right thing. He would ask him later, find out the right words, and tell them to Alex.
All he could do now was reassure her over and over that what she did was perfectly normal, of course she begged Morgan to stop, anyone would. All the while his fury at his oldest brother grew.
This was Gabe's fault. He had forced them away from New Orleans. He had left Alex alone. Alone for Morgan to find, to torture, to rape.
Alex laid her head on his shoulder and Rile rested his head on top of hers. He longed to stroke her wings, but then remembered humans didn't have any. He continued his soft crooning reassurances, wondering if running his claws down her back would help her or harm her.
When Rile finally convinced Alex that he didn't blame her for begging, her body relaxed. He dared pull her a little closer and she didn't resist. At length, she pulled away and he was sorry that she did.
"I can't believe you let me cry all over you," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. "Now I really need a shower."
"Anytime. Take that shower." He sat down on the couch and flicked on the TV. "The goddess of the cable is calling me."
"Enjoy it while you can because Cale is coming with the DVD's," Alex reminded him. "You know they'll be dollar ones. No blue-rays."
"The sacrifices that I make." Rile changed channels and inwardly cursed himself for not daring more with her.
*****
After her shower, Alex settled down on the couch, squeezing between Rile and Cale, who had joined his brother.
"What did you bring?" she asked Cale. She didn't ask where Gabe was.
"Galaxy Quest and Buckaroo Banzai." Cale produced the two movies. "I searched the dollar section."
"Let's watch Galaxy Quest first." Alex plucked the DVD from Cale's hand.
Alex was glad that she had hooked Cale and Rile on Star Trek, for the movie wouldn't have been funny if they hadn't seen it. She also learned not to mention anything about Gabe around Rile, for it caused him slam things around and mutter the word 'stupid'.
Cale was replacing the DVD in its jacket when he said, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Alex."
Alex was surprised at his remorse. "Don't feel bad. It could have been worse. Morgan didn't have a lighter or cigarettes. Burns are the worst."
Cale looked up from the DVD and Rile stared. Horror and shame flooded onto Alex's face as she realized what she had let slip. She stammered an apology and tried to run out, but Cale embraced her firmly.
"You didn't deserve any of those things," Cale said.
"I did," she sobbed. "Even you know it's true if you have to say that."
Cale turned his head so his muzzle was buried in her hair by her ear. "Rapists tell their victims they deserve their abuse."
"And make them beg," Rile said. "Total humiliation of body, spirit, and soul." Rile tapped Cale with his claws in the pattern that meant 'agree with me.'
"Especially the begging," Cale whispered and Alex sobbed harder. "Listen it me. Agama are taught that there are two types of males: ones who females must fear but other males give no account to, and males who females do not fear, but all males but take into account. Morgan was unworthy of the least amount of accounting and his punishment was well deserved and too late in coming."
Although the shortest of the brothers, Cale was still tall enough to lay his head on top of hers. Alex trembled, and Rile easily encircled both of them. Rile crooned a lullaby in a deep baritone, and Cale's lighter baritone joined his.
When Alex's shudders lessened, Rile led her to the couch, tucked her in the corner, and put his arm around her. He nodded at Cale, who started the second movie. Alex was soon asleep. Cale turned off the TV.
"We'll watch the other one tomorrow," he said.
"Go home," Rile said. At Cale's frown, he added, "Check our stupid brother. I'll stay here tonight. Either sitting on the couch or move to the floor. Perfect Clan Heir isn't the only one with honor."
*****
A/N
I love this song and thought it had the perfect mournful tone.
What do you think?
Dedicated to faithful reader authors
Thanks fir your help!