Lance stared out the window in Hunk’s car. The radio was on but Lance wasn’t listening to the song. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen to him. Not like he was going to get beat up more like the feeling you get when you do something bad and your mom is going to yell at you.
“So Lance are you going to get your usual?” Katie adjusted her glasses as she gave Lane a side glance.
Lance pulled his eyes from the window and looked at Katie. “Yeah, probably.”
Katie nodded and then looked down at her phone. Lance looked out the window again. He watched the houses pass by and the trees. He saw someone walking their dog and an elderly couple walking down the street holding hands. Lance stared at the couple's hands.
He wanted something like that. He wanted someone to grow old with and spend time with. He wanted to be in love.
Lance stopped registering what he was seeing through the window and became lost in thought. He didn’t register the street signs, he didn’t register the trees that they drove by. He didn’t even register when Hunk stopped the car at the ice cream place.
“Lance you getting out of the car?” Hunk tapped on his window and Lance looked up at his friend and nodded. Everyone was already out of the car and Katie was already paying for her order. Lance opened the door and stretched as soon as he stood up.
It was a nice day. The weather was warm and the wind was cool enough to not make you shiver. The sun was out but the clouds made it so it wasn’t that bright. Lance took off his jacket and placed it in the car, it was too nice out of that thing. Lance heard a noise and looked up and saw a bird that was flying over him and smiled If only life would be that easy.
Lance heard someone clear their throat and saw Hunk motioning him over to the register. Lance moved his legs forward and made his way to the register. He completely skipped over the menu and looked straight at the girl working.
Lance had to blink a few times, she was gorgeous. Her blond hair was tired into a high ponytail and she had purple eyes. Lance was going to question until he realized that they were contacts. She had a soft face and a sweet smile. Lance’s eyes moved down to her name tag and read Nyma. “Can I help you?” She smiled brightly at Lance.
Lance looked at her face one more time and smile back. “Yeah! Can I have a medium soft twist with chocolate chips.”
“Of course!” Lance watched Nyma click a few buttons on the register. “That will be $3.27 please.”
Lance could've swore that she winked at him and felt a blush form over his face. He reached to grab his wallet and pulled out a $5 bill. He handed it over to Nyma and winked back but he watched her face fall. He glanced down and saw that she was staring at the name on his wrist.
Nyma seemed to recover and take the $5’s from Lance’s hand. “So Keith, that’s a nice name. When did you meet him?”
“A few weeks ago.” Lance glance at the name, he hadn’t looked at it in days, it still looked as vibrant as when it formed that day. “Well he must be a very lucky guy to have someone as charming as you with him. Here’s your change, $1.73.” Nyma turned around and started to make his order.
Lance put his change in the tip jar and watched Nyma move over to the topping station. Why couldn’t I have gotten someone like that? Why does the name have to be in a location where everyone can see it? Camillia could always hide hers, damn it.
“Here you go, and have a lovely day.” She gave him a forced smile.
Lance gave a small smile back and took the ice cream from her hands. “Thank you,” and he turned to walk to where his friends were sitting.
He sat down next to Hunk and liked his ice cream. No one talked, they were just enjoying the silence. Lance watched Katie type on her phone.
“Who you texting Katie?” Lance wiggled his eyebrows.
Katie didn’t glance up from her phone “Keith.”
“Oh. I didn’t know you two were that close.” Lance ate more of his ice cream.
“Yup, he’s actually a cool person, oh wait you wouldn’t know.” Katie placed her phone down and took a bite of her sunday.
“Katie! Stop.” Hunk glared at her for a second then looked at Shay. They were having a silent conversation with each other. Lance watched them, he didn’t know what they were saying but he admired how close they were. They were in perfect sync with each other and it was cool to watch them just know what they were saying.
After a minute or two of their silent conversation Shay looked at Lance and grabbed his free hand.
“Lance, I, well we need to talk to you.” Shay squeezed Lance’s hand tighter.
Lance looked down at their hands and felt a lump start to form in his throat. He looked up at Shay, “Alright.”
Shay took one more look at her boyfriend and looked back at Lance. “We want to discuss your attitude towards Keith.”
I figured as much. Lance opened his mouth to speak but no words came out so he gave all of them a small nodded, indicating that he was willing to listen.
Immediately he could see all of them become less tense and Shay released her death grip on his hand, but limply held his hand.
“Okay, so we know that you don’t like the fact that he is your soulmate, we understand that. And I’m not here to lecture you and tell you to accept him. We understand how it goes against your upbringing. However why have you been so hostile to him? Soulmate or not, you’ve never been mean to someone before.” Shay voice was soft yet firm, she was making sure she was getting her point across without angering Lance in any ways.
Lance thought about what Shay said and started to think. Okay so they aren’t here to yell at me for not accepting Keith as my soulmate, they just want me to be nicer to him. I can do that, right? Why haven’t I been nicer already. I’m pretty sure I got my point across that I didn’t want to be his soulmate but can’t I be his friend? We could be friends. But I don’t think my parents want that, or if Keith would even want that. Shit what did I do.
“Lance, you with us?” Hunk shook his shoulder a little bit and Lance snapped back into reality.
“Yeah, sorry I was thinking and I don’t know.” Lance bite into his cone.
“What do you mean ‘I don’t know’?” Hunk looked at Lance with confusion.
Lance looked at his best friend and gave a shrug. “I just don’t know if I could be his friend. He probably hates me.”
“Lance, Keith doesn’t hate you. He’s just giving you the space you need.” Katie looked at Lance and gave a small smile.
“Plus Lance it’s just a friendship, it’s not anything more.” Shay smiled warmly at Lance.
“But it could change into something more. We become friends and next thing I know I’m kissing him under the stars and running down the aisle as people throw flowers on us.” Lance closed his eyes in frustration.
“What’s so bad about that? You two would make a cute couple” Hunk gave a hearty laugh and Lance opened his eyes in disbelief. He turned to his friend and looked at him weirdly.
“I don’t want that. I can’t want that.” Lance ate more of his cone and wiped his face with a napkin.
“Because of your religion?” Shay asked quietly, and ran her fingers over Lance’s hand.
Lance nodded and heard Katie groan.
“Lance can’t you over look those? You don't even know if God is real so why are you following something that could be fake? Why can’t you see that this problem is only being dragged out because of your religion. I would just not focus on that section of your religion, that would make things a bit easier.” Katie slammed her hand over her mouth and stared at Lance wide eyed. She didn’t mean to say that, she never meant to say that. Attacking Lance’s religion was the worst thing you could ever do.
Lance slowly blinked at Katie, letting her words sink in. He removed his hand from Shay’s hand and stood from the table. “You’re right Katie, that would make things easier, but I’m not a machine, you just can’t program me to think something different.” Lance started to walk away, ignoring his friends calls. He heard someone walking towards him and he started to run.
Lance didn’t want to talk to any of them so he ran as fast as he could. He wanted to get home, he wanted to go anywhere he could think. Lance kept running even when his legs ached and his lungs were on fire, he kept going. During his run, Lance had started to cry. He didn't even know why, he knew Katie didn't mean what she said but it still hurt him. Lance pushed forward. Lance only stopped when he tripped. He didn’t even know he tripped in front of somebody until they spoke.
“Oh my, young man are you alright?”
Lance immediately recognized that voice and looked at the person who spoke “Father Samuel!”
“Who? Oh Lance, it’s so good to see you, why were you running?” Father Samuel reached down and helped Lance to his feet and looked at his face. He hesitantly touched Lance’s face. “My boy why are you crying?”
Lance wiped his eyes and looked at his pastor. “I’m lost. I don’t know what to do.”
Samuel looked at Lance and gave a small smile “Do you want to talk about it?”
Lance nodded and he was lead inside the church.
-
Lance soon found himself sitting in one of the pews with his pastor right next to him.
“Now Lance what is troubling you?”
Lance inhaled a shaky breath and fought back the tears that threatened to fill his eyes. “Father, I must apologize, I have found myself in a horrible sin.”
Father Samuel looked at Lance with confusion and worry. “You can tell me about it, the Lord is with us.”
Lance nodded and looked down at his arm, he made sure the sleeves were down far enough to hide the name. Nobody in his church knew about his soul mate. His parents didn’t want him to tell anyone but Lance needed someone to talk to right now. Lance bite his tongue, he didn’t want to ruin anything for his family or his church. He wanted to stay in the church and not get kicked out again. I could tell him if I just change the story so it’s not about me. Lance closed his eyes and searched for the words that he needed.
“Someone I know is gay, but we’ve been friends for a long time. I know that they are sinning, but I still want them in my life.”
Father Samuel nodded very slowly as he processed what Lance said. “This friend, why do they say they are gay?”
“Their soulmate is another guy.”
“I see.” The pastor closed his eyes and mumbled something to himself. After a few moments he looked back at Lance. “Lance, you have already been in the situation with your sister. You know what needs to be done.”
“I know, but I also want to keep them in my life. We have so many memories together and isn’t it okay because I’m not the gay one?” Lance clasped his hands together hoping that the pastors answer would be a nice one.
“Lance, you already know my answer, you’ve been going to my church for years. Now you can either walked with the devil or the Lord and that is your decision. I pray you choose the right one.”
Lance watched Father Samuel stand from his seat and looked down at Lance. “I have a meeting but feel free to stay as long as you want and talk with the Lord.” And with that he left Lance alone.
Lance ran his hands through his hair in frustration Why won't anyone give me good advice? Lance placed his head in his hands and looked down and saw the cushion you pull down to pray. Lance stared at the cushion and pulled it down and kneeled down, placing his hands on the seat in front of him, clasped together, and lowering his head on his hands.
Might as well find my own advice, Lance started to pray.
He wasn’t sure how much time actually passed, but he knew it had to be a few hours. Lance nearly pealed out of his skin when someone tapped his shoulder, he turned around and saw his father.
“Papa? What are you doing here?” Lance’s eyes followed his father as he kneeled down next to him.
“Your friends called the house and said you ran off, I figured you came here. Is everything alright? You didn’t even hear me walk into the church.”
Lance nodded “yeah, just a lot on my mind.”
His father nodded “Well whenever you're ready we can leave. Your mother has dinner ready.”
“Okay.” Lance stood up and started to walk out of the church, his father death stare still drilled in his back.