***Ronnie's POV***
I woke to the smell of sugary cinnamon, which could only mean monkey bread. Making monkey bread on Christmas morning was pretty much the only tradition that my family held. We didn’t ever do any traditional Christmas things, like stockings and milk and letters for Santa. I was taught at a very young age that Santa wasn’t real, only a figment of imagination placed by adults into the minds of children.
When I was younger, I always loved helping my mother bake in the morning. After she died, when I was eight, I helped my grandmother, and now it’s just sad, so I let Hannah do the work.
A body moved near me, startling me for a moment before I remembered that I let her sleep in my room. Jennifer turned her body to face me and quickly averted her eyes when she saw that I was awake.
In the quick glance that I got of her, I noticed that her eyes were still slightly puffy from last night, and she looked as if she didn’t get much sleep. I still didn’t know what happened with Connor’s dad, but I kind of felt bad for her, so I decided to just play nice for a while.
“Did you sleep?” I asked, choosing my words carefully.
She looked shocked that I was actually being nice to her, and that’s when I realised how mean I was being to her. She never really did anything to me. I needed to be nicer to her, to everyone really, if I wanted to get anywhere in life.
“A little,” She said in a small morning voice. “I woke up a few times.”
“Same here,” I said.
We layed there for a while, just staring at the ceiling, until I spoke up again.
“So.. what happened last night?” I blurted out.
She sighed and looked like she was about to cry. I almost retracted my statement, but decided that I wanted her to answer. I couldn’t stand not knowing why she was here in the first place.
“Well, it all started when we were arguing about your friends, Kara and Grace,” She explained
“Why were you arguing about them?” I asked quickly. As far as I knew, she had no business with my friends.
“We saw them at the pier together. Like together together. Like kissing,” She rushed out, I could tell she knew I was eager for an explanation.
Wait, what?
How could they be gay? I knew that they were really great friends, but I didn’t know they were that great of friends. I instantly felt bad for Devon. Why would Kara date him if she was gay? Did he know, or was he just being used?
“Then he got all mad at me and called me some pretty shitty.. but accurate names. After I started crying he felt all bad and apologised to me,” She continued.
I ignored the ‘but accurate’ part. Connor could really be a dick sometimes, and I bet that she was just beating herself up over it, and taking it way too personally. When Connor gets angry, he lashes out at just about anyone.
“So what does that have to do with Connor’s dad?” I asked.
“Well I was getting there,” She responded. “My makeup was all over my face, so Connor took me into the bathroom and.. helped me wash it off. We heard his dad come home, and then he came into the bathroom, pushed Connor around, and then started touching me. He was totally drunk, and it was actually really scary.”
She was crying now. It wasn’t hysterical, but there were definitely tears.
I felt a sudden urge to hug her, but I didn’t. What she just described was basically my entire childhood. Tears, dad coming home late, hitting, drunk, touching.
It wasn’t exactly what I would call fun, so I truly felt really bad for her.
“Veronica, can I ask you something?” She coughed out between sobs.
“Um.. yeah I guess,” I answered, a little confused why she would want to talk to me about anything at all.
She wiped a few of the tears away from her face, trying to regain some of her composure. She finally looked at me straight in the eyes, her face completely serious.
"Why do you think I'm a whore?" She asked me.
I didn't really think that was what was going to come out of her mouth just then, but she was just full of surprises today so I guess I should have expected something out of the ordinary..
"Well.. because of.." I stuttered, trying to think of a logical answer that wasn't too offensive.
"Do you even have a good reason?" She spat at me.
Her arms were folded across her chest and she was clearly pissed off.
"I know what happened between you and Connor, how you forced yourself on him-" I was interrupted.
"Oh, is that what he told you?" She asked, now sounding annoyed. "Yeah, we had sex. We were both drunk, Veronica. Yeah, it was my idea, but I didn't 'force myself on him,' he wanted to do it too."
At this point, I didn't know who to believe. Connor had lied to me before, but I hardly even knew Jennifer, and before now, all I had ever heard about her were bad things. She looked like she was telling the truth, though, and I couldn't really see a reason why she would lie to me.
"Why should I trust you?" I asked carefully.
"Because I have nothing to lose," She answered back quickly. "My mom married a crazy drunk man, and I literally don't have anywhere to go right now. Connor lied to you about what happened because he didn't want you to think he only wanted you for ulterior motives."
I took a few moments to process what she was telling me. It was true that Connor was trying to impress me with his ‘gentlemanliness’ before we were dating, when were were just best friends. I know now that not all of his polite actions were judges of his true character, and so it would make sense that what Jennifer was saying was also true.
But on the other hand, she could just be saying this because she wants me to stay away from him. Well she didn’t need to try and convince me of anything, he was no longer an interest of mine.
Or, she may be trying to earn my trust for a reason unknown to me at the moment.
“You know what, I’m going to take a chance and just trust you,” I finally said, on top of a sigh.
I didn’t really have anything to lose either, and I was kind of short on friends. Everything with Jc was just awkward and frustrating, so he didn’t really count. I always had Kara and Grace as friends, but now that I knew they were more than just friends, I just felt kind of on the outside of that trio.
Don’t get me wrong, I was fine with them as an item, but I really just felt bad for Devon. He was the only friend left that I didn’t feel completely excluded from or awkward around.
“Well, thanks, I guess,” Jennifer kind of laughed out.
It was so foreign for me to be sitting in my room laughing with Jennifer, of all people. And I actually felt kind of.. happy.
Or at least the closest to happy I had been in a while
“Hey girls,” Hannah said, opening my door without bothering to knock first. “I have some breakfast in the kitchen if you want some. Just come out when you’re ready.”
She exited the room just as fast as she had come in, and the energy had changed. Just as I was about to ask Jenny if she wanted to get up and get some, my stomach growled.
Laughing, we both took that as a sign to get up and get some food. You know, this might not be such a bad Christmas.
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Hey guys! Yes I know it’s kind of awkward that this is Christmas when it’s currently summer, but whatever. I have a few things to address.
I made an account on instagram just for some art stuff that I do and its called {@shebi_doodles} and on tumblr {@shelbi-doodles}. No pressure, but it would kind of be awesome if you went and followed me because I only have like 5 followers and thats kind of sad. Oh, and also no pressure, tell your friends :) ily
Another thing is that I got a couple of messages and comments saying that this story is “too depressing” with all the divorce, adoption, self harm, and abandonment and all of that stuff. First, it’s my story, so I can kind of do whatever I want. Second, that’s real life kids. So I’m sorry if my view of the real world is “too depressing” for you. ***If you don’t like this story, stop reading***
But on that note, I love all of my amazing supporters who leave me nice comments and messages and vote, but also the ones who just read happily :) I’m going to update more soon, this is the last week of school for me and then I’m going on a trip next week so after that I’m going to write a lot more.
Love Always,
~shelbigrace