Jade's pov
Everything had been weird after that nightmare. It was like Jeff was constantly watching me but also he left late at night almost every night. He wouldn't come back until late and then he would seem off. He'd be relaxed but still somehow tense. I'm worried about him but I don't know how to address it.
The static voice came more frequently to now coming in a few times a day. It would check up on Jeff and see how he was doing. The topic of me would only show up last minute late at night which only strengthened my worry. The conversation mostly consisted of how Jeff was feeling. They started sounding more and more like therapy session and it felt wrong listening to them.
Then there was me. Everytime I was able to sleep the opposite me would visit. She would remind me that I'm crazy that I felt the need to kill. Jeffrey would come too but he'd be covered in blood as I held a knife. When I was awake the voice was more active. It would get riled up by the smallest things. I was scared of what might happen if I listened to some of the things it said.
Jeff was gone now out doing whatever it was that he did when he was out of the house. Over the past few days I had used my time with him to distract myself. It worked... Sometimes... Sometimes I couldn't hear the voice or it would just be a nagging feeling as I talked with him. I think he knows that I'm trying to fight off the voice because we have long though provoking conversations.
It was when he was gone like he is now that the voice really speaks. I've my tried my hardest to not listen but it's not like I can hide from it. There's really nothing I can do and lately it seems like it's working with my depression. When it's not telling me to kill something it's telling me about how everyone leaves me and that Jeff will too.
'He's probably out so much because he can't stand you. You stress him out'.
' If I really stressed him out why am I still here. He could just release me and we could both go back to our lives', I try to ignore how much the thought of him releasing me hurts.
I mean he kidnapped me I'm technically being held here against my will. Yet I don't want to leave, I like it here in his cottage in the middle of nowhere. It didn't feel like I was kidnapped and it almost felt like I was spending time with a friend. I know that's not right to think of the person who kidnapped me as a friend but when I think about it he gave me a choice the whole way. He asked me to meet him, he asked me if I would stay with him, and I chose to.
'You chose to because you're crazy, because you're just like him. No you're worse you want to kill people.'
'No I don't want to hurt anyone.'
'But you do and you know it so stop denying it. You're being pathetic.'
The sound of the front door opening and closing causes me to smile slightly. He's back. I give him a few minutes not wanting to bother him when he's just gotten back. Afraid that it really is my fault that he's out so much that I annoy him. Maybe I shouldn't even go out there. But without me having any say in the matter a knock sounds on my door and selfishly I say "come in".
His dark hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot with pupils dialated. The white hoddie he always seemed to be wearing was crumpled. In short he looked a mess. Yet still I found myself admiring his pale skin and the contrast between it and the red smile cut into his skin. The way his hair still look good even though it was a mess. I don't know why I decided at this moment to start noticing all the things I liked about his appearance but I didn't like it.
"-so uh sorry" is all I hear as I come back down from my weird thoughts.
"I'm sorry I wasn't um I didn't hear you" I say sheepishly. God I was already making him talk to me the least I could do was listen.
"Oh well I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I keep leaving so late at night" he says quickly.
"It's fine why would I care anyway" I curse at myself why I can't I just tell him how I feel.
I watch in dismay as his face fall and he walks out. I'm such an idiot why do I always have to be rude whenever I feel something? Why is immediate reaction to say something mean? I just wanted to tell him that it was fine and that he shouldn't worry about me, but instead I said that. He probably hates me now.
He already hated you k ow he despises you.
You're right I a horrible person.
Yes you are which is why you should just give in.
No! I won't kill anyone.
Oh but I guess you could always kill yourself. That would work to I just want to see the crimson blood flow out of a body.
No why would I kill myself.
You have nothing left. Your parents are dead, your grandparents are dead, your best friend is either dead or doesn't want to put up with you, and the closest thing to a friend you had left just walked away because you're so stupid. Anyway it's for the best if you ask me.
It's not true he understands that it's just how I am. I'll go apologize right now and explain everything to him.
That will only work so long before he decides not to take you back. He'll get tired of you and all of your problems just like everyone else.
No... He will. You're right I don't have anyone. There's not a single person that would miss me I bet nobody's even noticed that I'm gone.
That's because nobody cares about you.
Maybe I should just end it all. Let the people around me have some peace of mind. Jeff can stop having to pretend to put up with me. I can stop being a problematic burden to him.
Good you're finally going to do something right.
I don't have anything to do it with though.
Then I'll have to wait a longer but oh I just can't wait to watch the blood flow out of your veins.
I stand up wanting to end this conversation with myself and apologize to Jeff. Exit the room as quietly as I can then find him sitting on the couch. He was staring at the TV so I know the static voice was coming soon. Even still I stayed in the door way of the living room just studying him.
I watched the way his shoulders slumped as he sighed in dispair. The way his body language showed his inner turmoil. I couldn't see his face but I could only imagine the look that was on it. Sadly that's what I did. I imagined the way his black eyes glazed over in thought the same way they did when he was asleep. I pictured the way his cut smile would be slanted as his actual lips held a slight frown. The way this forehead would scrunch up even with his lack of eyebrows.
I jumped out of my thoughts as I realized that if I added just a bit of color to the picture I had painted in my head it would like just like Jeffery. I need to stop comparing them because all that I achieve is a heavy heart. I missed Jeffrey so much and for some reason I couldn't stop seeing him in Jeff. It was probably because of the fact that Jeff and him have the same name pretty much. That was what I told myself to justify it all. It would put my mind at ease to think that that was the only reason.
Once again I'm drawn out of my thoughts as the TV flickers on and the static starts talking.
'How are you Jeff?'
'As I said yesterday I'm fine now please can we talk about something else.'
I try my best to conceal my gasp of shock. I heard him. I heard his reply but it wasn't from his mouth. The words didn't come from his lips and they didn't echo around in the room the way they normally did. No his voice came and sounded clearly in my own head.
'Know it just because I'm worried about you.'
' Yes and I am very grateful to know that you care and all but I seriously don't feel like talking about it.'
' Very well then but does this have anything to do with that girl?'
' No now drop it.'
' There's no need to be so angry Jeff. It was just a simple question which by the way you answered indirectly anyway.'
' Shut up I don't care about what I answered I indirectly. Do you not have anything better to do then to talk about my feelings for Jade. First it was oh she's so dangerous you need to get rid of that awful human. Now all you want to talk about is how I have feelings for her that she'll never be able to return because I'm a freak. She probably hates me for kidnaping her and taking her away from her life.'
' Good Jeff. Now we both know she doesn't hate and if what you've told me about her life then I'm sure she very grateful that you took her away from it. I know that I would much rather live with you in the middle of nowhere then live around people who don't like me. And for your information I still think she's a threat even more so now that we've got the knowledge of her being a seer.'
' Yeah but still I took her away from her life just to throw her into my crazy life just because I missed her.'
What does he mean because he missed me? We first met when he left that note saying to meet him in the forest.
' Maybe you should tell her that. Explain everything to her because this point I'd be surprised if she doesn't end up one of us. Plus it'll be good for you to get it off your chest.'
' But what if she hates me for what I did. She'll probably hate me for what I do now. Even I hate me for all that I've done and still do how do you expect her to not hate me. Well hate me even more. '
' I'm sure that as much as it pains me to say it she's a good person and will understand. Just give it a try it'll be right. Besides if it's not then you'll finally get tell me you told me so. Now I better get going I think LJ just ate the last of Masky and Hoddies waffles.'
' Yeah you better hurry before they try to kill him. Anyway thanks for getting me to talk Slender. I feel a little better now and I might just take your advice and tell her. She deserves to know.'
' Adda boy Jeff I'll talk with you soon have good night and good luck. '
' You too. '
With that the TV shuts off and Jeff stands with a sigh. Quickly before he can see me I quietly run back to my room. Once I'm safely in the confines of my own room I let my thoughts run. I've never been able to hear the other side of the conversation before. So why now? Why this conversation? What did Jeff mean by miss me and what does he need to tell me? This conversation also proved my small suspicion that Slenderman and the static voice were the same person.
I jump slightly as a soft knock sounds on the door. Quickly I open it running off anxiety. Is he gonna tell me whatever it is? Is he gonna say he hates me after what I said earlier? How do I greet him? Does he know I was in living room? I let out a smile as I try my best to block out the paranoid thoughts. He obviously doesn't hate me if he was scared of me hating him.
"Um Jade are you ok" he asks confused.
"Yeah why do you ask"the words were forced and sounded sounded unnatural. Quickly I cleared my throat and tried again, "yeah I'm fine what about you I'm really sorry about earlier".
"It's fine I get it but we needa work on that." His deep laughter fills the room.
"Yeah so uh what did you come here for?"
"Oh uh yeah I need to tell you something important" suddenly he'd turned into a shaking mess.
"Ok there's no need to worry about whatever it is I'm sure it's nothing bad", I try to reassure.
"No this is kinda a big deal and I'm scared of how you'll react".
"How about we make a deal I won't kick you out until you've fully explained yourself then I'll decide if Im gonna really kick you out"
He nods but it's a jerky uncomfortable movement, "Deal"
"I just really don't want you to hate me", the words are spoken under his breath and I could just barely hear them.
"I won't hate you", even I wanted to I don't think I'd be able to hate him.
"We used to uh... We used to be... I... We", he starts and stops repeatedly each time seemingly more nervous then the last.
"It's ok you got this", I encourage smiling.
"Well we uh used to... We used to know each other. Well we used to be friends, best friends." He stops and stares at me.
Nothing clicks right away but once it does my body goes numb. I don't know how to feel. Should I be happy? Confused? Angry? Sad? All this time spent comparing them. I had convinced myself I was just crazy. All along it's been him it's been my Jeffery.
"Explain", I couldn't think of anything else to say but I need answers.
" Uh well you remember how during my first few days in town I had gotten in a fight. Well it kind of got progressively worse. Then my mom made me go this stupid party and things got out of hand. I'll spare you the gory details but I ended up in the hospital. When I got home something in me just snapped one night and I cut this smile in my face and burned off my eyelids ", he pauses to take a breathe and to probably also see my reaction.
"When my mom found me she was horrified she went to tell my dad to uh grab a gun. I didn't understand why they didn't like my new look. I thought I looked perfect. When I found out what she really left for the last bit of sanity in me left as I gutted them both in cold blood. Lui had woken up during it all and I killed him to. I burned all their bodies in the woods and left. Slenderman found me sometime after I had came down from my crazy high and explained what was wrong and took me. I tried so hard from then on to ignore the voice and not kill but then it started saying that even if was my blood it saw flow that would be enough. I didn't see why I should get to live after I killed my family so I tried to kill myself. Luckily slenderman found me and stoped me from uh doing it. He told me to find something and live for that. That's around the time I started watching you. When I wasn't lurking in the shadows I was feeding my demon and killing. I never wanted to leave you but I couldn't control myself. Nothing made sense while I was in that mind set. I'm so sorry for leaving when you needed me most." His voice was full of so much pain and regret I almost broke down.
"I... I understand... I mean I get what you're saying I feel it to right now. And... And I'm scared. Scared of what I'll do", I dont bother holding anything back this was my best friend. This was my rock. My first crush.
"I know and I want to help you but I couldn't keep this from you. It hurt to not tell you. To not be able to talk to you like we used to".
He was back this was my Jeff he never left me after all. He'd just flipped and killed his family. It was weird how I was taking this. Yet I didn't have any reason to judge as I am going through the same thing. I can understand why he did what he did. Still that's not what I cared about. What I cared about was that he was back.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
So here's a super long update to make up for the short update last time and the fact that it's been kinda long. I hope you liked this chapter let me know what you think about everything. Thanks for reading it seriously means a lot to me.
Don't forget to~Comment~and~Vote
Stay you
- Izzy_bands_are_life 💙💙💙
And yes it is 3:15am insomnia sucks lol.