Yahh new chapter it get hot and heavy in this one!!!!!!!
Chapter Nine - Lust
"Nessie," Jacob's husky voice whispered into my ear. "Wake up, honey." He pushed my hair gently from my face. I blinked the sleep away from my eyes and looked over at my alarm clock: the LED lights were saying that it was 5: 30 in the morning. I looked up at Jacob confused; I didn't have to be up for another hour.
"I thought you might like to talk before you went to school," he explained.
"Oh... okay," I said sitting up. "Let's talk then."
He waited for me to go first.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked harshly. "And don't say you never thought to," I added, putting my hand to his cheek and showing him the same memory I had shown Seth the day before.
He sighed. "I didn't really want you to know, Renesmee. I didn't want you to think about me in that way."
"But how do you expect me to trust you if you keep things from me?"
He looked down at his feet. "I don't know. I hope you will again soon, though."
"And the imprinting?"
"I wasn't going to try and force you to love me back, no matter how much it felt like I needed you to. I wanted you to love me on your own, if you were going to at all. It was something you needed to figure out for yourself."
He had a point. It's hard to tell how our relationship would have been over the years if he had always been forward with me.
"But Jacob, how can you be sure that you would still have wanted me if you hadn't?" This was the question I feared the most, but the most important one of all.
"There's a reason why we imprint - it's like a sign that points us to who we're meant to be with. But I don't need imprinting to know who I'm supposed to be with." He looked deep into my eyes and placed his hands into mine. "There is no one in this world that I could ever love the way that I love you, and that could never change. Imprinting or not, you are still the one I am meant to be with. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
My heart melted like candle wax. I leaned my head over and laid it down on his shoulder. He knew he was forgiven now. He wrapped both arms around me and held me close until it was time for me to start getting ready.
I took a nice hot shower and readied myself quickly. I was in a much better mood, even if I did have to go to stupid school. Jacob did love me, and that was all I cared about today.
Jacob held my hand as he drove down the highway. I liked not being mad at him - it was so much easier. I laughed at myself when I realized that there was no way I wouldn't have forgiven him. He was my whole world, after all. Jake laughed, too, having heard my little joke.
"I'm glad you did, Nessie. I don't ever want to hurt you again. I will never hurt you again."
I smiled up at him. "I beleive you."
He turned off the highway and into an empty space in the student parking lot. I turned my head to tell him goodbye, but was caught off guard by how close his face already was to me. As soon as I was facing him, he had one hand behind my head, winding his fingers through my hair. He pushed his lips to mine instantly, kissing me in a way that he never had before. My lips moved with his as my hands went up to his broad shoulders, pulling his face as close to mine as was physically possible. He freed my hair and slid his hand down the length of my back. Then he pulled away, giving us both a chance to breathe again.
"I don't want to make you late," he said sheepishly when he could speak again. I caught his face in my hands and kissed him again.
"I love you. See you in a few hours." I told him.
"I'll be waiting," he promised. "And I love you, too."
I sat through Government in a haze. All I could think about was Jacob, the way he had kissed me in the car... I was surprised the waves of heat and electricity hadn't blown out all the windows. The nasal bell sounded, and I gathered my things to trudge off to biology.
"Renesmee!" Someone called from across the schoolyard.
"There you are! I didn't see you this morning!" Anthony sounded so releived - it was a little bit annoying.
"Yeah, I was with Jacob."
"Jacob..." he said acidly, shaking his head from side to side. "You could do so much better."
"Who could be better?"
"Well you could start with someone that's your own age."
I ignored him and kept walking. I did not want to discuss Jacob's age with anyone - he was technically twenty-five years old, and people would think that was bad, even though they would think it was a lot worse if they knew my real age as well.
Anthony kept walking along beside me.
"I could be better, " he said suddenly. "I could be whatever you wanted me to be."
I froze; that was totally unexpected. He had obviously found me attractive since the first day he met me, but I didn't think it would go beyond that. I had no response for his strange words. He was wrong, regardless. He would never be better than my Jacob, not even close.
Classes passed by more dully than usual. I heard nothing of what was being taught to me. My head was off in the woods, walking around lazily with Jacob, even if my body had to be stuck here. Anthony said nothing else to me all day, probably sulking about my non-responsiveness this morning. I didn't care though; I enjoyed his company more when he kept his mouth shut.
I dressed quickly after gym and was the first girl to be finished. Anthony was already waiting on me outside, so we started off together for the parking lot. I was eager to get out of here so I could be with Jacob.
I could see his car just a few feet away when Anthony stopped suddenly. He grabbed my hand and quickly spun me towards him, pulling himself closer to me. I realized then what he was doing, but he was quicker than I was.
As soon as I opened my mouth to protest, his lips were on mine. He kissed me almost violently in a way, clutching frantically at the exposed skin on the small of my back.
I was completely apalled - What the hell did he think he was doing? I pushed him away from me easily, being careful not to use my full strength.
I glanced over at Jake's car in time to see him getting out and looking extremely angry. It only took his long legs three steps to close the distance between us.
People were gathering close to us now, probably because Jacob looked like he might break Anthony's neck at any moment. Anthony took a step towards him, but did not release my hand. He glared up into Jacob's face - which was quickly turning red - and Jacob glared back even harder.
Jacob looked down at my still-captive hand, and I distinctly saw a tremble starting to roll down the length of his body. Uh-oh.
I quickly freed my hand from Anthony and grabbed Jake's instead. I tried to drag him to the car, but he would not budge.
"Come on, Jacob," I tugged harder. "Take me home..."
Another tremor rolled through him.
He gave in and walked to the car with me, pulling out the second I secured my seat belt. Neither one of us spoke the entire ride.
I wanted to talk though, to tell him how disgusting I felt. I hated that he had seen that with his own eyes, had watched my lips kiss someone else's. Seeing it had to be worse than only knowing it had happened.
We stopped in front of the house and got out of the car. No one was home when I came in, so I walked over and sat on the couch with Jacob following behind me.
"Jacob... I'm so sorry you had to see that."
"Yeah, me too," he said to the floor. "I could've killed that guy. He's lucky I have some self control." He balled his hands into angry fists. "Seeing him kiss you like that without even asking for permission...maybe I should've killed him." His hands started to shake, so he inhaled deeply and let his fists go limp.
"Well, I'm glad you noticed that, at least."
"Noticed what?" He looked up at me.
"That I didn't give him permission," I answered. Jacob looked back at the floor.
"I really hoped not...did you..."
I pulled his face up so that he had to look at me. "Did I what?"
He drew in a long rough breath before starting again. "Well... did you like it?"
I couldn't help but giggle. "Of course not! Is that what you were worried about?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, that is the only time you've ever kissed anyone besides me." He still looked doubtful. Lucky for both of us, I had a very easy way of proving it to him.
I laid my hand against his cheek and let my memories flood his brain. I showed him Anthony kissing me first. He didn't like what he saw much, but relaxed when he noticed how angry it had made me. Then I showed him an entire collage of memories I had stored up, ones where he smiled his rays of sunshine on me and kissed me sweetly. I let him feel what I felt every time he had ever kissed me. I let him see the heat and electricity, and the way that no matter what time it was, behind my closed eyes the sun was rising. I showed him the way he looked and smelled to me, and the way that just a single touch from him would send pleasant shivers up my spine.
I had never shared so much of myself with him before, but now I was glad that I had. He looked happier than I'd ever seen him before. He suddenly took my face in his hands and pulled my lips to his. I dropped my hand instinctively, but he caught it quickly and placed it back to his cheek.
"No, I like it Renesmee. I like seeing what you see, and feeling what you feel," he murmered.
I giggled and blushed as he put his hand to the back of my neck and placed his warm lips to mine once more. He kissed me very softly at first, and then slightly rougher as he could see my excitement building.
I had let him inside of my head before while we'd kissed, but I had always been careful of how much I let him see. This time, I held nothing back.
His hands moved down and grasped the exposed skin at the small of my back. He pulled me to him and set me into his lap. One of his hands felt it's way underneath the back of my shirt, leaving a blazing trail in it's wake.
He angled his body towards the open space next to him and lowered me down slowly, not breaking our lip lock for even a second, until my back was on the cushions. I wound my free hand up into his short hair, pulling it harder than I'd meant to.
His lips moved slowly down, first to my chin, and then all the way down my neck. They explored the whole of my throat, leaving the blood beneath my skin boiling. One of his hands felt straight down the side of my upper body, stopping itself to sit in the curve of my waist.
I was suddenly overcome with something I had never felt before. I didn't quite understand it - It hit me so fast. It felt like there was a fire blazing inside of my body, moving it's way up my legs and then rolling along my middle. The fire made me excited - it felt good to me. I felt like I needed more of him, like it was impossible to ever get quite enough.
Jacob pulled away from my lips, gasping for air. He quickly removed my hand from his face and sat straight up with surprise in his eyes. What had I done wrong?
He cleared his throat after a moment and looked back at me.
"Well, that was very, um... intense," he managed.
I blushed; I must have overwhelmed him with my thoughts. I was still confused though - why had I felt that way? What could this new emotion be identified as? I tried to remember it completely, but to no avail.
"Let's go for a walk, Ness," Jacob said as he pulled himself off of the couch.
Was he blushing? How weird.
thanks for reading!!
its going to even hotter is the next chapters!!!!
love erin