"Let it go, Kyungsoo."
"You're dragging this one and you need to stop it. It's been a month and a half, you dim wit!" The cook cried, smashing his fist on the counter top. "Both of you, stop it!"
"Butt out!"
"You little--" Throwing a wash cloth in Chanyeol's direction, Kyungsoo huffed.
"I didn't spend hours going online baby shopping for you two shitheads to break up!"
"No one asked you to baby shop in the first place!"
"Your baby's going to need clothes and toys, Chanyeol!" Kyungsoo yelled. "He's going to need a dad too!"
"Calm down, you're making it seem like I'm just abandoning him!" The giant said.
"Well, who cares if you are, anyways! He'll find someone!"
"I'm taking a break--"
"You took a break for a week and then after you decided not to get him from his parents, it's been official that you're done. You wanted to teach him a lesson, fine," Kyungsoo lectured. "But you turned a lesson into something personal. I was going to be an uncle, you bitch."
"Kyungsoo--"
"You shouldn't have said those things or threatened him. We all know how Baekhyun is. He does things that he's not aware of. For fucks sake, he ate wasabi thinking it was avocado! So yeah, talking about other guys might hurt your man pride, but after, what, a year? You'd think that you'd know who Baekhyun loves."
Taking his phone out, Kyungsoo thrusted his call log into the giants face. "Guess how many doctor appointments that you missed? Three."
"Guess what the baby's gender is?" Kyungsoo went on, unrelenting. "Not going to tell you. Guess what medicine Baekhyun's on right now? Not going to tell you. Guess why he had to go to the hospital? Not going to tell you."
"You're making all this up," Chanyeol tried.
Kyungsoo held his breath for a second. "Stop being stubborn. You're stressing your ex out."
"He's not my ex!"
"Not according to his Facebook relationship status and the sad face next to his name, so excuse you!"
Chanyeol sat on his stool, afraid that what Kyungsoo said might have been true to an extent. He stayed silent for a moment as the cook went on and on about Baekhyun's visits for various things that may or may not have been true.
"... And then," the cook said as Chaneyol tuned in again, "he slipped down the stairs and it has been two weeks since then so--"
"What?"
"I said he slipped down the stairs because he was wearing his fuzzy slippers and hurt his back because--"
"Are you shitting me with this, Kyungsoo?!" Chanyeol snapped, standing up, fist curled. "Did he really fall!?"
Kyungsoo shrugged. "Why the hell do you care, Mr.-I'm-going-to-bring-a different-girl-home-every-night?"
"Kyungsoo!"
"I changed my mind!" The cook declared. "I don't give a damn. You're both idiots except he's an injured idiot and you're a slut. Fuck you both, because I spent more than two paychecks on baby shit and Baekhyun's not even going to live here anymore! See if I care if Baekhyun loses the baby because of stress or if he finds another baby daddy! Not my problem! It won't even be my problem to tear the baby crib back down because you don't need it!"
Before he left the kitchen in an angry fit, Kyungsoo scribbled down something on a piece of paper. "He's with his parents, you dumb shit. His next appointment's on Tuesday and he's not currently pretending to be seeing anybody unlike you."
-
-
"Baekhyun, it's time to go home."
Sniffing, Baekhyun looked up at his mother. "I don't want to go back home...."
"You know, he's been calling for the last few days."
"Where was he for an entire month and a half?" Baekhyun mumbled.
"To his defense, you didn't try and talk to him either."
"Wouldn't want to intrude on his sexual prowl," the brunet said quietly.
"Honey... You were kind of a promiscuous vixen before you met him," she said softly. "You shouldn't judge."
"My asshole was loved by many!"
"But let's remind ourselves that he's the one that loves it the most," she said, bopping his nose. "Which, if you can understand, why wouldn't he be angry at the fact that another man's baby maker is so close to it?"
"But it's just a stretch..."
"And it was just a kiss."
Baekhyun frowned. "It wasn't just a kiss!"
"Then it's not just a stretch."
Baekhyun groaned, planting his face against the pillow. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll go back."
"Good! I'll come with you. I haven't seen Chanyeol in a while. He only comes around when you run away," his mother said, patting his cheek.
"What if he doesn't want to see me?" he said.
"Then why would he be calling?"
"He wants the engagement ring back," Baekhyun replied thrusting his hand in her face. "It's too shiny to not want back."
"Tell him he'll have to buy his new husband or wife a new one..."
"He's not calling for the ring!"
"He's calling for the ring, but you can tell him to fuck off because it's mine now!" Baekhyun pouted. "Tell him he'll have to buy his new husband or wife a new one..."
Rolling her eyes at her dramatic son, she sighed. "We're going to your house tomorrow. You already agreed and I have something to say to him."
"Can I just stay home?"
"No, you need to go home," his mother insisted. "I won't have you be a single parent."
"Single slices of cheese are more than enough for one sandwich!" Baekhyun protested. "I can be a one man sandwich!"
"Well you can't have a sandwich without two buns! You're only one bun, Byun Baekhyun! You can only be a one man sandwich if you can blow yourself and you and I both know you can't, so no. Tomorrow, we're going back. Pack your backpack and I'll carry all the baby gifts you got from your relatives."
Pulling the covers over his head, Baekhyun submitted, mumbled other excuses half-heartedly under his breath.
-
-
Baekhyun didn't want to be there, but he ended up standing behind his mother as she knocked heavily on the villa's front door. He was holding his breath— even more when Chanyeol quickly threw the door open a few minutes after. Before he could say anything, Baekhyun's mother held her hand up, stopping the giant from speaking.
"Hi, Chanyeol! We're here to pick up Baekhyun's things. He's moving out. Would you mind helping us get this done quickly?" she smiled.
The brunet's jaw hung open at his mother's announcement but Chanyeol seemed more taken aback than his small fiancé. "What?"
"I'm having my son move out," she repeated politely. "My husband and I are looking out for his best interest right now."
"Wait, weren't we--"
Mrs. Byun silenced her son behind her. "We don't want him to be a single parent so we've been looking at others."
Chanyeol furrowed his brows. "Others?" His eyes wandered to Baekhyun. "What's she talking about?"
Before Baekhyun could even shrug, Mrs. Byun went on. "You know, possible fathers for his child. Others as in other people."
The brunet and giant uniformly cried "What?" in unison as the woman rolled her eyes.
"Baekhyun, did you notice those men coming over to our house? Some women as well?" His mother asked, looking back at her son.
"What about them?" Baekhyun asked back cautiously.
"Your father was interviewing them for you."
"But they were so old!" The brunet gasped, looking frustrated and shocked. "You couldn't have chosen younger, better looking people!?"
"The younger ones are unreliable," she said, making it obvious as she side glanced Chanyeol and back to Baekhyun's baby bump. "Unreliable and careless enough not to use protection," she added, smiling.
"Are you serious?" Baekhyun said, side stepping his mother and joining Chanyeol's side of the door. "I can't be with someone old!"
"They're financially secure, Baekhyun," she said sternly. "And they have wrinkly, withered balls, but no children. They will want you."
"Chanyeol's secure, too! He's like a millionaire except he likes to live in this small-ish house living like a hermit, but I mean--"
"Stop arguing," his mother calmly replied. "I'll get the boxes from your car and we'll start packing."
Finally, the giant spoke, setting his hands on Baekhyun's shoulders moving his aside so he could face his soon-to-be mother in law. "Baekhyun, move over. I'm going to need to talk to your mom."
"Uh, no you don't," the brunet sassed, giving the giant a look.
"Excuse me?" Chanyeol said incredulously. "I'm not having you shipped off to marry someone else."
"Moo? Moo?!" Baekhyun gawked.
"What?!"
"Do I sound like a cow? Am I cattle? Cause you two make it sound like I am!" The brunet snorted.
"Baekhyun, let's get the boxes now."
The vixen looked at his mother. "No."
"Baekhyun, get in the house."
To the giant, the small male frowned. "No to you either."
"Then what do you want?" The two opposing forces asked at the same time.
"To get married to someone old and crusty who only wants my kids or to get married to this banana schlong, who doesn't even care about me?"
"Who the hell said I didn't care!" Chanyeol said loudly.
Ignoring his blinking mother, Baekhyun turned his body to face the giant.
"Who says? The telephone that didn't ring at all for a month! Or the guy who didn't even call to ask what was wrong when my stomach hurt."
"Your stomach hurt?!"
"Yeah!" The brunet replied back.
"Then why the fuck didn't you call me?!" the giant asked, getting angry.
"Like I was going to call you and say that it was just gas from the potatoes I ate, you giant asscrack!"
Angry from the false scare, Chanyeol reaches over & pinches Baekhyun's cheeks red. "You little annoying bitch--pregnant and shit, oh my god."
As Baekhyun struggled with Chanyeol, he called out to his mom, but was left without any help. Instead, his delightful mother backed away.
"I'll get the box" she said, but when Baekhyun looked back, she was driving out of the driveway in his car.
"What the hell! That's my car!" he yelled as he pushed Chanyeol's hand away.
"I love you because you're my son but you're taking up closet space and you're both lovely idiots together! Good luck!" she cooed, waving.
When she took off, Baekhyun had the right mind to run after her despite being bloated at 5 months and having no energy to run at all. "How am I going to get home?" Baekhyun groaned, stomping his feet and wanting to roll on the ground.
Sighing, Chanyeol leaned down and took the bags full of baby gifts at their feet into his hands before standing straight up. "She's not going to come back. You might as well come in."
Baekhyun's lips thinned. "But I--"
"Listen," Chanyeol said, "if you really don't want to stay here, then just come inside and call your parents."
"You're making it really easy for me to go away," Baekhyun said gently.
"Isn't that what you want?" The giant retorted.
"No, but that's what you want!" Baekhyun cried. "Mr. I-want-a-break!"
"Only because you didnt get the fact that I was jealous!"
"Fine! I get that you were jealous but you didn't need to go around kissing other people just because you were mad at me!" Baekhyun said with a childish frown.
"I wouldn't have felt the need to if you didn't keep pushing the thought of spreading your legs for your instructor on me all the time!"
"Yeah he's good looking but I'm pregnant and I have no interest in having anyone look at me at this point because I'm a gross cinnamon bun!"
"Pregnant or not, you know god damn well you're still fucking attractive!" Chanyeol argued. "And you're not a gross bun, you drama queen! Any guy that looks at you nowadays, I see as a threat," Chanyeol went on. "Besides, that stretching position-- have you seen it?!"
"Yes!
"You're aware that it looks like he's fucking you?"
Baekhyun looked up. "Well, recently, yes, but--"
"Would you appreciate seeing me with someone doing the exact same thing?" The giant pushed. When Baekhyun didn't answer, Chanyeol called him. "Baekhyun, answer me."
"No."
"Baek--"
"No I wouldn't," the brunet mumbled. "I'd kill you and the third party and give birth in jail."
Feeling a sort of weight lifted off his shoulders, Chanyeol nodded. "Well, at least a month did you some good, I guess."
Scowling, the smaller male punched the giant on the arm. "Why didnt you call!? Would you like it if I ignore you for a month?!"
"Uh, you kind of did," Chanyeol replied mockingly. "Apparently, as I've heard, you kept in touch with everyone at the house except me."
"We were on a break according to you!"
"We were until you decided to run off! You weren't supposed to run away!" Chanyeol defended.
"What choice did I have?!"
"Stay and argue with me like we always do until you get tired and decide that blow jobs will make it up!"
"You're gross and disgusting and you're a flippin' dick and you're always angry at me at the SILLIEST things---"
"Being concerned about another man's dick against your fiancé's pregnant ass is not silly, Baekhyun!"
"Stop interrupting me and respect the fact that I hate you!"
"I'll respect your hate for me when you respect that I just want you to understand that you shouldn't be sharing yourself with others!"
"Respect my space, asssstronaut! You're too close!" Baekhyun said, glaring up at the giant towering him.
"Acknowledge the fact that I'm the one you're getting married to and I'm going to be the father of the kid you're carrying."
"I already know both of those things--"
"But you need to see that both of those things make you exclusive to me and only me."
"But I wouldn't cheat on you," Baekhyun said quietly as his twiddled with his fingers. "I'm too fat to cheat right now."
"You're too engaged and soon to be married to cheat ever," Chanyeol corrected.
"Unless you have a twin that I don't know about, then the likeliness of me cheating on you is slim to none," Baekhyun said proudly.
"Well, I don't have any other siblings."
"Then why're you worried about the chance of me going off with someone else," the brunet asked.
"Because you're desirable. That's why. And because you attract everyone around you, it's like I have to play robo-cop in public 24/7!"
"I may attract everyone--"
"You do," Chanyeol said, rolling his eyes.
"But the only one that attracts me is...."
Chanyeol waited.
"Minho...."
He knew the brunet was teasing by the way he burst out laughing, but Chanyeol must've has the scariest expression on his face because Baekhyun had to collect himself quickly, stand on his toes and place a chaste kiss on Chanyeol's lips to bring him back down to earth
"I'm kidding. I'm only attracted to you, I swear," Baekhyun assured, holding up his hand. "See?And if this kid could raise his hand right now, he'd agree."
Chanyeol froze. "He?"
"Or she," Baekhyun quickly said. "I don't know."
"Baek."
"I might not even be pregnant. I could just be fat."
Sighing, Chanyeol moved aside and tilted his head towards the door. "Get inside. We need to put these excessive gifts in."
Picking up a gift bag on his own, Baekhyun complied, carefully stepping back into the house he had missed for some time.
"These are from my aunts and cousins," Baekhyun explained. "I lied and told them you left me so they ended up getting me lots of things." With a stoic face, the giant followed the brunet into the living room where the smaller had set his light weight gift down on the table.
"See, my cousin, Taeyeon, bought me all these pajamas for new borns, but she also got me a new toy to occupy myself," he went on. "But I still need to call my uncles because they've asked to have your company blacklisted for abandoning me."
"Baekhyun!"
"They misunderstood when I told them you said we should take a break," Baekhyun quickly responded.
Setting everything down on the floor, Chanyeol groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tightened his lips. "Remind me to never threaten you with a break up," he muttered. "No wonder business has been rocky lately."
"Next time," Baekhyun yawned as he sat on the couch and laid down, "you should just break up with me completely instead of being vague..."
"You think that after a year and a half, an engagement, and a kid on the way that I'm just going to let you go?" Chanyeol asked as he leaned against the back of the couch and frowned at Baekhyun's sleepy face. "Do you think I'm that stupid?"
"Well, for the record, you are stupid..." Baekhyun said slowly. "Second, you didn't call for whatever reason so it could be easy--"
"I didn't call you because you didn't call me," Chanyeol argued lightly. "Besides, everyone else was giving me updates on you anyways."
"Did you know," Baekhyun said tiredly, "that if I had gone into labor, I really didn't think I would have called you to be there..."
Chanyeol scowled at the drowsy male. "You're only 5 months along so it's still too early, but that kind of pisses me off that you'd say so."
"Oh be quiet," Baekhyun said closing his eyes. "When I push this little devil out, you won't be there anyways."
Chanyeol felt something rise in him. "I beg to differ, Baekhyun. I will be there when our first child is born--"
"No, you won't."
"Yes I will--"
"No one will," Baekhyun said as he yawned yet again. "I'll deliver him alone."
"Baekhyun—"
"I don't want anyone but the doctor to see my ass push a human being out," Baekhyun mumbled. "That's embarrassing."
Slapping a hand on his face, Chanyeol inwardly groaned at the brunet's adamant comment.
"You don't want me to see you giving birth but you were willing to finger yourself fifteen inches from my face one night."
"I feel like you'd be one of those people who would film it."
"What's wrong with making a video about the making of life?"
"Nothing!" Baekhyun mumbled. "As long as it's a video of the first stage of making a life, also known as a home video sex tape. I'm tired, giant." He yawned, grabbing a cushion. "I couldn't sleep last night because my back hurt, but I still say no. Go make a birthing documentary elsewhere. I don't know you. Park Chanyeol's not the father if he tapes."
Chanyeol didn't immediately answer back, grimacing. When he saw that Baekhyun was beginning to drift off, he kept his mouth shut instead. When Baekhyun was completely knocked out, the giant shook his head as he muttered, "you're ridiculous" under his breath only to walk to the closet in the hallway and grabbing the blanket Baekhyun bought--the one with the printed bananas singing in them.
After he covered the snoring, pregnant brunet, he tiredly walked off to retrieve a pillow from their bedroom, but was stopped by the cook.
"Are you sure you're not married yet because you two sure do argue a lot," he said.
Ignoring the remark, Chanyeol changed the subject. "What's the gender of the baby?"
"Neither. With your genes and Baek's, it's abnormal."
Chanyeol gave him the eye. "Kyungsoo."
"Congratulations, you're going to have a son" the cook said rather genuinely. "Good luck with that. Now all you have to worry about is making sure he won't impregnate some poor poor soul when he's older—like you.
"Use condoms if you don't want to be conDAMNED with an unexpected child!"
Chanyeol stayed still for a while until he shrugged. "I don't mind," he said. "Kids don't bother me anyways. Condoms do."
"You would subject Baekhyun to bear you a dozen kids?"
"If he wants."
Kyungsoo looked at him. "Thousands of your potential children die in your fiance's mouth every day."
"I can spare a few thousand if he's willing to give birth to twelve," Chanyeol said as he heaved his shoulders
As if rising from the dead, Baekhyun awoke from his light slumber and squinted his eyes to where he was hearing the conversation. "Being pregnant hurts so I'm not going through this eleven more times, you banana slice! You're getting one!"
Grumbling about the thought of being pregnant again, Baekhyun slipped back under his blanket and went to sleep again.
-
-
"Baekhyun, these things are too expensive. We need to give them back."
The brunet stopped eating his yogurt. "What?"
"This... All of these."
Baekhyun looked at the baby clothes, toys, and mini furniture which his mother had delivered to them. "But... they're mine."
"We can afford our own things. Your relatives didn't have to do this," Chanyeol sighed as he stared at the price tags. "Besides, it's a boy"
The brunet looked at him. "He can wear nice things too."
"Like dresses?" The giant snorted.
Taking a pen that was near his reach, Baekhyun threw it in Chanyeol's direction, glaring at him. "You dress me up, too!"
"For role play!" The giant defended as he dodged the small object.
"I want to role play with my child too," Baekhyun said "He'll be pretty"
Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol gave up as he started piling the clothes all together. "Fine. But later, no makeup. And if he attracts other little boys because of the way he looks, I swear to god I'm going to jail for murder."
"Maybe he'll end up like me," Baekhyun laughed. "Minus the, you know, sex history."
"You mean annoying."
"I am lovely, giant."
"You're annoying. I don't know why I love you, sometimes," Chanyeol said as he crossed his arms and stood up, towering of the brunet.
Baekhyun hummed. "Maybe you should break our engagement if you don't know?"
"How dare you."
"How dare you dare I..."
Letting the remark go, Chanyeol leaned over, moving Baekhyun's hair aside and kissing him on the forehead. "Just shut up."
Baekhyun laughed, chuckling as he stuck his spoon full of yogurt in his mouth.
- - - - - - -
a/n: welp they're frustrating ;;;w;;;; Next up's the last part.
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