Can love last forever?
The night after Andy and I talked to Patrick about his internship, I found myself at the Aubergine once again. As usual, Brendon was waiting for me by the door. "Hi Ryan," he said. "How have you been?"
"Stressed out," I answered.
"Why is that?" Brendon asked as he wrapped his arms around me. Having Brendon with me always made everything feel better, even in troubled times like these.
"I found out why Patrick has been acting so strangely," I said. "He had to put down a dog at his internship."
"That's horrible," Brendon said.
"I think so too," I said. "He's thinking about changing his major."
"I would change my major too if I had to do something like that," Brendon said. "Luckily, Theater Studies doesn't require anything other than singing, dancing, and acting talent."
I was unaware that Kale even had a theater program, but there were plenty of things that I didn't know about my own school. For example, I had discovered just the week before that there was a movie theater in the basement of the Pendragon Center. It wasn't too unreasonable to believe that Kale offered theater as well. "I didn't know that you could dance," I said.
Brendon raised an eyebrow and said, "You've never seen me dance?"
"No, I've never seen you dance," I said.
"Why don't I show you then?" Brendon said. He stepped away from me for a moment, and he spontaneously broke into a rather ridiculous-looking dance routine. Brendon certainly had more dancing talent than I did, but that wasn't saying much. Nevertheless, he pulled off his absurd dance moves and managed to make it look good. He even did a backflip at one point, resulting in plenty of applause from the other people at the Aubergine. "I once did that shirtless while eating a sandwich," Brendon said once the applause died down.
"I kind of want to see that," I said.
"Ryan, you should dance with me," Brendon said.
"I don't know about that," I said. "I'm not a very good dancer."
"Just give it a try," Brendon said. He took my hand, and I reluctantly began to dance with him. I truly was a horrible dancer, but Brendon tried to help me through the song, and by the end, I was only slightly offbeat. Despite the awkwardness, it was wonderful being so close to Brendon.
I looked at the clock and told Brendon, "It's nine in the afternoon."
"Can I get another drink before we perform?" Brendon asked. I nodded, and Brendon went back to the bar, while I ran off to find Spencer.
As it turned out, Spencer wasn't too hard to find. I nearly crashed into him as I headed towards the piano. "Sorry about that," I said.
"It's okay," Spencer said. "I don't know what you and Brendon were doing out there, but it was fun to watch."
"Thanks," I said, even though I wasn't sure whether Spencer's comment was supposed to be a compliment or not. Did it matter? If I treated it as a compliment, maybe that made it into a compliment.
"No problem," Spencer said. "Is Brendon ready?"
"I think he's getting another drink," I said.
"No, I'm ready!" Brendon exclaimed as he sipped on his drink. He then put the drink down and grabbed the microphone. Spencer gave me a quick glance, and then started banging on the drums. I joined in soon afterwards, and before long, the three of us were back into our normal, comforting routine.
I wasn't paying any attention to anything other than Brendon's sublime vocals when he broke that routine. After our second song, he sat next to me on the piano bench and said, "This next song goes out to my beautiful boyfriend, Ryan Ross." As he planted a soft kiss onto my lips, the crowd went wild.
I blushed and pulled away, a little bit flustered from all of the attention. Brendon returned to his normal spot onstage, and he sang an entirely new song - a love ballad just for me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I simply watched Brendon and listened to his voice soar over the crowd and into my heart.
The rest of the show went normally, but I couldn't stop thinking about the new song that Brendon had played. I didn't think that it was necessary for Brendon to tell everyone at the Aubergine that the two of us were together, but the song was a sweet gesture. It was nice of Brendon to do something like that for me, and I was glad that I had such an amazing boyfriend.
After the show, I had to thank Brendon for dedicating the new song to me. "It's no big deal, Ryan," Brendon said. "I just wanted to show everyone how much I care about you."
"That's so nice of you, Brendon," I said. "I wish everyone was as kind as you are."
"Thanks, Ryan," Brendon said.
All of a sudden, Gerard came up to me. "Ryan, we need to talk," he said.
"I guess I'll talk to you later," Brendon said. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and then left, while Gerard dragged me out of the Aubergine.
"What do you need to talk to me about?" I asked as I zipped up my winter jacket and looked around. Frank, Laura, Pete, and Gerard were all standing next to me, giving me angry looks. The Guyliner Club had reunited again.
"Are you and Brendon really dating?" Gerard asked.
"Of course we're dating," I said. "I thought that was kind of obvious."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Frank asked.
"I didn't think that it was necessary," I said. "I didn't even know that Brendon was going to tell everyone at the Aubergine. I wanted to keep it a secret for a little longer. We've only been together for a week."
"Ryan, you know that you can always tell us things like this," Gerard said. "I'm really happy for you and Brendon."
"Yeah, you two are an adorable couple," Pete said.
"I probably could have gotten you two together sooner if I knew that you were interested in him," Gerard said.
"This isn't that big of a deal, Gerard," I said.
"Are you kidding?" Pete said.
"It's a huge deal," Laura said.
"I agree," Frank said. "You should have told us that you were going out with Brendon."
"I don't think it's anything for you guys to get worked up over," I said.
"Next time something big happens in your life, can you at least tell us?" Gerard asked.
I sighed and said, "I suppose I can do that."
"Excellent," Gerard said as we approached Flack Hall. "I'll see you soon, Ryan. Don't forget that there's a Guyliner Club meeting on Tuesday!"
"I'll be there," I said.
"I'll see you at the Guyliner Club meeting then," Gerard said. "Have a nice night, Ryan."
"Thanks, you too," I said. I opened the door to Flack Hall as the other four members of the Guyliner Club went their separate ways.
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Patrick spent another day at the Old Haven Veterinary Hospital, and although that day went better than the first day of his internship, he was still considering changing his major. As usual, I spent my nights at the Aubergine with Brendon, but nothing unexpected happened.
On Monday, I went to Principles of Ecology, and thankfully, Patrick and Andy were both there when I arrived. "It's so great to have you back in class, Patrick," I said to him.
Patrick groaned and said, "I can't believe how much work I have to make up. It feels like I missed a whole month, and I have two other classes that I missed!"
"I can always give you my notes from last week's lectures," I said.
"That would be nice," Patrick said. "What have you two been up to?"
"I heard that Ryan has a new boyfriend," Andy said.
"Where did you hear that?" I asked.
"The whole campus knows by now," Andy said. "I heard it from Joe who heard it from Pete who apparently heard it from Brendon."
Did the whole campus really know my relationship status? Andy had to be exaggerating at least slightly, but it likely wasn't far from the truth. However, I knew that I didn't need to be worried about it. I loved Brendon Urie, and at that point, I didn't care who knew about it.
Instead of paying attention as my ecology professor lectured, I spent my class period daydreaming about Brendon and my future. There was no doubt in my mind that Brendon and I would spend our whole lives together. After all, if we really were two halves of a single whole, then why wouldn't we? Brendon and I hadn't been together for very long, but I was certain that there was something special about our relationship. Already, I wanted to be with Brendon for my whole life, and if there was an afterlife, I wanted to spend that with him too.
However, I couldn't help but wonder if Brendon loved me in the same way that I loved him. There was no way to know if he was real, so how could I ever know his thoughts and feelings? Even if he did love me, would that love last? There was simply no way to tell.
I couldn't do anything but hope that Brendon and I were meant to be together and that he genuinely cared about me. I thought that both of those things were true, but I could never confirm it. My relationship with Brendon was like anything else - it could be real, or it could be all an illusion, but it was much easier on my sanity if I pretended that it was real.
My mind drifted back to Winter Break, and what my mother had said about knowing Brendon. I still had no idea how she knew Brendon, and she clearly hadn't figured it out for herself. There was no way that my mother, who had lived in Nevada for her whole life, could know my boyfriend from Connecticut. It just couldn't happen. Maybe she was mistaken after all. She didn't know Brendon, and she was just thinking of someone else. It was the only logical explanation that I could come up with.
"Ryan, do you have any idea what Professor Gilboa is talking about?" Patrick whispered.
"I wasn't paying attention," I admitted.
"She's going over nitrogen cycling," Andy said.
"Thanks Andy," I said as I returned to my notebook and tried to focus on the lecture. Principles of Ecology wasn't the worst class in the world, but it wasn't nearly as fascinating as philosophy.
After class, I headed straight to the dining hall, already dreading Public Policy. I swore that class would be the death of me, but I thankfully didn't have to deal with it until after lunch. The only way that I could get through Public Policy was by thinking about how I could go to the Aubergine and see Brendon if I didn't get any homework from that class, which never happened.
A little while later, Patrick and Andy joined me in the dining hall. The three of us started up a lively conversation about our ecology homework, and I couldn't help but feel glad that Patrick was back in class. With the exception of Public Policy, my life finally felt like it was going right.