Her arms fell to her sides as she clenched her soft outfit in a tight fist, the couple who were standing in front her was facing the opposite side but she could clearly see the dangling chuda and mangalsutra of the lady who was now giving him a shy smile,
This was the life she dreamt of having with Ansh, and today she was witnessing someone else living it with him, Ansh hadn't changed much from the last time she saw him... the only difference she could see was the satisfying smile on his face, he looked sad when he left her an year back, genuinely sad... Manvi didn't know what she should be feeling right now, happy to see him moving on, or sad about not being a part of his life...
Manvi walked away from the couple slowly without coming to their notice, she was not in a state to face such an awkward situation neither did she wants to make things difficult for Ansh, he was a person who she still liked and respected, the one year relationship with him was nothing less than a fantasy for her, he was that person who she had dreamt of having from the time she realized what a perfect family is, he was caring, understanding, calm and honest... they were kind of same when it comes to their likes and dislikes too, all these factors attracted her towards him and she didn't find any reason to say no when he proposed her, why would anyone push away something which would fulfill all your childhood dreams, especially when it would give her a complete family which she pined to have throughout her life, she was not a person who believed in love at first sight or waited for her prince charming to scoop her up and take her away from the cruel world... No... she was a person who expected to have a simple life without any drama, but her life had been nothing but dramatic after her Nanu's demise... Manvi tried to calm her nerves as she took a deep breath before turning to look at the couple again, it is really difficult to forget your dream and move on... And it really hurt,
She turned back to move towards the table only to face a frantic Virat, Manvi gasped as she followed his gaze, she hopelessly wished her assumption to be wrong, but luck was not with her as always as he clenched his jaw and made a tight fist, she didn't think twice before holding his clenched fist and dragging him out of the restaurant,
Virat shrugged his hand roughly away from her grip as he stared furiously at her,
"Are you crazy Manvi...? Where the hell are you taking me away from that b..."
"Nahi Virat please don't... Please don't" She pleaded as she tried to hold his hand again to take him away from the place, but Virat moved few steps behind shaking his head with an irritated expression,
"I can't believe it Manvi... I just can't believe it..." he spat out disgustingly as he moved towards the car and punched it hard,
"I can't believe that you are still supporting him... can't you see... can't you see what he is doing? He is with another woman damn it..." he screamed as he turned to look at her blank face,
"I know..." she whispered,
"You know... you know and you still want to go behind him or woo him even after him being married..." the word slipped his mouth even before he could comprehend,
"Stop it Virat... Just stop it... mein chup hun, iska matlab yeh nahi khi tum kuch bhi bologe... You don't have any right to talk to me like that..." she screamed hurt with his allegations,
"Oh yeah... right... When did I have a right on you... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for interfering on your personal matters... I got it..." he replied misinterpreting her anger,
Manvi slumped her shoulders dejectedly, she didn't have any energy left in her to make him understand, she silently got in to the car seeing the door kept open for her... the few minutes of journey from the restaurant to home felt like hours of torture for both of them,
...............................
It was almost night and Virat hadn't come out from his room since their return, she couldn't even have a morsel of food leaving him to starve, she for the first time was feeling scared to face him, but she knew that it was time for her to clear all this misunderstanding between them,
Manvi knocked on the door for few minutes waiting for him to say something, but Virat being the stubborn creature he is didn't even utter a word of acknowledgement,
"Virat..." She called out, Manvi pushed the door open and saw the door to the balcony open, the room only lit with the natural glow of the moon, she carefully avoided all the things which were thrown on the floor to enter the balcony, Virat was having his back rested on the wall, his limbs stretched to the front... he was staring at nothing in particular but was looking so broken and hurt, Manvi felt the familiar feeling of affection rise in her heart,
Virat stayed unmoved as she sat beside him softly, she stayed silent for few minutes as if letting her heart prepare for the revelation she was going to make,
"I'm sorry..." They both spoke out together and chuckled softly at their timing,
"I didn't mean it..." Virat spoke out as Manvi rubbed her palms together,
"I didn't mean it either..." Manvi whispered as they fell silent yet again,
"It was me..." Manvi broke the silence,
"Huh...?" Virat sounded confused,
"It was me who asked him to leave..." She started to speak looking at Virat's shocked reaction,
"Things were going smooth until Nanu asked Ansh to speak to his parents... he hesitated but agreed anyway, he wanted to meet them personally and let them know about me... I knew that he had a quite a big family but didn't know anything about their social status or morals, they were totally against the idea of Ansh having a relationship and marrying the girl was interested in, not me anyway... I mean we were just simple and you know too ordinary..." she paused as she remembered how Ansh had suddenly visited them after few days,
"And?" Virat probed wanting to make her speak,
"He wanted me to decide on whom he should chose, his family or me..." she let out a soft smile, though sarcastic,
"That's insane..." Virat replied forgetting all his pain, feeling bad for his friend,
"I asked him to choose his family... and before you start blasting on me..." she spoke out hurriedly not letting him give a reaction, "I would say that I didn't want to have him without his family... not because of the name or status but just because I wanted a family, I may have never said this to you or Nanu but believe me... I missed nothing more than I missed having family throughout my life, I wanted to experience the feel of having a mother, a father...a brother, a sister... to love, to fight, to get jealous..." she chuckled softly before continuing and Virat kept on looking at her admiringly, "Ansh had all that... he had a perfect family, I wanted that and I honestly didn't want him to lose all that for me, he would get another girl if not for me but will he get a family like that? I didn't want to bear the guilt of snatching him from all of those amazing bonds, now see doesn't he just look happy?"
"What about you? Are you happy? Don't you feel bad...?" Virat asked not convinced with her decision of letting him go,
"I feel bad... obviously... but it would have been worse, now for me it's only the pain of forgetting the dream I weaved for years, just the hurt of not being able to live your dream, and I don't think that him leaving his family and coming to me would have been my dream either... Ansh was a part of my dream... he was not my dream, You understand what I'm saying right?"
"Then what about Ansh...? What about his feelings...?" Virat asked not yet satisfied,
"Do you think that he loved me...? He would have chosen me if he did... he wouldn't have asked me to decide... He just liked me... He though that he could lead a happy life with me because we were alike, we shared the same interest... We both had the same dream... leading a simple life with a complete family... We grew closer to each other emotionally with time, that was love for us..." She concluded and turned to look at Virat, who was staring at her unblinkingly,
"I thought you said yes because you were in love with him... You always behaved like that..."
"I did have a soft corner for him before he proposed me... And I did fall in love with him during our relationship,"
"Hmm... Are you okay now?"
"I'll be fine..." Manvi smiled at Virat, while he sighed deeply, "Wont you ask why I came down to Mumbai?"
"Did you decide to tag this day as a confession day? And no I won't ask... I promised you remember?"
"My aunty and uncle wanted me to get married..." she ignored his try to make the situation light, she was determined to tell everything about her to him, 'he had all the right to know',
"When they first asked me to get married and settle, I kind of made my mind to agree, I just thought of... accepting what came my way, I had enough of their tantrums... They made me feel like a burden to them and I just wanted to go away from them... but everything changed when I got to know their real intention behind my marriage, they were going to get me married to an old man who they were indebted to, they were kind of selling me off to a person to get rid of their financial problems, things gradually started to fall in place... them suddenly coming over from their hometown to see Nanu when he got bed ridden, pretending as if they cared, they must have thought of taking whatever the savings Nanu had, they never knew that Nanu had made all his savings under my name, they had no option to get money so they somehow convinced that man to marry me... I knew that they didn't have any honest liking towards me or Nanu... but I never thought that they would stoop so low..."
Virat looked at Manvi his blood boiling with rage, an uncontrollable rage building inside him towards those two vultures and on himself for not being there for her,
"I don't know what... what just made me run out of that hell, but I did... And I'm thankful to God for making me do that... Or I would have been dead..." She stopped as Virat jerked her by holding her arm,
"Dare you say that..." Virat grinded his teeth feeling angry with her for talking about death.
Manvi kept on looking at him cynically and Virat left her hand reading through her expression, there was an unsaid request behind her gaze and he didn't want to accept it,
"Kyun Virat...?" She asked breaking the silence which was prevailing, she knew he would not tell her, but she was not going to give up,
"What...?" He tried to avoid her question by acting ignorant,
"You know what I'm asking..." She insisted,
"I didn't know that we were playing a confession game here..." Was his reply,
"Then don't act as if you care..." Was an intentional way of making him spit the truth,
"Does my care look like acting to you?" He asked as he stood up following Manvi closer to the railing,
"You're forcing me to judge..." Manvi said looking straight on his eyes,
Virat punched the railing trapping Manvi between his arms, "You can't demean my emotions like that..."
"I refuse to believe, I refuse to believe that whatever you feel or show towards me to be true... It is all fake..."
"How dare you call my love for you fake?" He roared and closed his eyes tightly to avoid looking at her eyes when realization sunk,
Manvi stared at his lowered head out of pure shock, she knew that he genuinely cared for her but she never expected him to have fallen in love with her, Is that what he really meant, she opened and closed her mouth few times, she didn't know how she should be reacting, he was still holding the railing behind her tightly as she stood trapped between him and the railing,
"You can't let all my sleepless nights and painful sacrifices go waste by tagging my feelings as fake..." he continued to speak his heart out in a low whisper, his face just few inches away from hers, her expressions unknown to him because of the closed eye lids,
"I didn't know why, how or even when... but it hurt me to the core to see you fantasize another man with you... First I thought it's just because you gave very less importance to our friendship... I decided to leave, I didn't have the guts to face the pain... I thought I would feel better after coming back... But it didn't work and I realized that it was really love... I couldn't pretend in front of my family, I moved away from them... I couldn't live my life normally, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat neither could I smile... I wanted to come back... But I never thought that you would care... And it gradually became my life... I got used to live like that..." his voice cracked at the end and what all Manvi wanted to do was to snatch all the pain away from him, he didn't deserve so much pain.
"And when you came back... I seriously didn't trust myself to be around you, but I made up my mind to be your friend in the time of need, and... and..." he stuttered unable to complete the sentence fearing that she would listen to him and leave him again,
"I failed..." He forcefully moved away from her running his fingers through his hair frustratingly... "I was not supposed to say all this to you... I was not supposed to make you feel helpless and used... I'm a looser..." He cursed and punched the wall behind him continuously...
Manvi moved out of her frozen state after witnessing him breakdown, she tried to move closer but he kept on pushing her away while cursing himself,
"I'm a looser who failed in all the relationships I had, I am the worst son any parent could ever get, I failed to be a proper brother... I thought that I would at least be an honest friend..." Manvi held his bruised hand as he kept on muttering about him not deserving all the love he was getting,
Virat felt that his head would burst anytime with everything which was running in it, his guilt for leaving his friend alone to fight, hurting his mother for distancing himself from her, pressurizing his bhai emotionally with his problems, not being able to free Manvi away from his own clutches, revealing his feeling towards her at this point of time... everything was wrong and he could find no way to mend all his mistakes...