Chapter 1: Goodbye
Welcome to the first chapter
BTW: There is going to be the occasional swear word in this book, so this is just a warning.
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"Yes!"
"Shut up."
"Fuck yeah!"
"I'm going to kill you when I get out of here," I say and shove my best friend Carter in the arm with all of my strength. He falls from the spot he previously situated next to me and lands on the floor with a hard thump.
Serves him right for beating me in Tic Tac Toe again!
"I hate you, Stella," he says, while rubbing his head as he gets up off the white tiled floor. He dust away imaginary dirt from his shoulder and squeezes back into the tiny hospital bed with me.
"Then get off my bed you idiot," I say while switching the channel on the tiny TV in the corner of the hospital room.
"No can do pipsqueak, I'll learn to love you again," he says, while grabbing the remote from my hand in one swift motion. He flips from my favorite show and puts it on his guy show, which consists of girls fighting in bikinis.
What the actual fuck?
"Give it back, it was getting to the good part!" I shout and reach for the remote which he easily moves out of my grasp.
"I can't take anymore Stevan and Damon, that show is horrible," he moves the remote even more out of my grasp.
"It's Stefan for your information, and The Vampire Diaries is a great show, so switch it back you god damn horny sex craved...um-" My mind draws blanks in my need of a good insult, so instead I try and grab the remote again.
"Craved...um-" the annoying boy mocks and pokes me in the side where most of the burns from the other night are.
Suddenly, I come up with an idea and I go with it.
"Ouch," I hiss in pain and clutch my side where Carter poked me. I close my eyes and will tears to form under my lids.
Truthfully, I feel no pain on my burns at the moment just a sting, they have me hooked to so many drugs, that to feel pain would be a miracle.
"Stells?" Carter calls me by the nickname he has always used and puts his hand over mine on my stomach. I can tell by the way his voice has dropped he is concerned.
It's working!
"Stells are you okay?" I open my eyes to look into his worried brown ones. I feel kind of bad for doing this, but he brought it upon himself.
I let a tear fall from my eye and hiss in pain again clutching my side tighter.
"N-no, no, Stells, I'm sorry fuck. I didn't mean to, I-I wasn't thinking, I-" He can't form any other words so instead brings the pad of this thumb to the tear on my cheek and wipes it away slowly, then does the same to my other eye.
"I'm such a dick," he says hanging his head down between us letting his soft brown hair fall slightly over his forehead.
I can't take looking at him like this any longer, so I cave.
"At least you finally admit it," I say grinning wildly while snatching the remote from his hand. I flip through and find my show again, but not before looking at him and the shocked expression on his face.
"I really should have fucking seen that coming," he shakes his head shamefully to himself.
"Yeah," I shrug and lay into him. "You really should have." I jab him in the side with the remote like he did before.
"I really do hate you," He states, wrapping his arm around my shoulder where I didn't receive any burns and rests his head upon mine.
"Mmhhm of course you do," I agree with him while watching a shirtless Salvatore brother walk across the screen.
"I'm way hotter than him." Carter states confidently.
At that I burst out laughing, "Oh, Carter." I pause and laugh again, trying to calm down, "I really do hope that everything is okay up here," I tap him on the head.
He swats my hand from his head and scowls at me.
I stick my tongue out at him and he responds by making a weird face and looking back at the TV.
This is why I love Carter, he doesn't take anything seriously. Ever since we were younger every time I've ever done something wrong, he's always forgiven me.
Like one time, when we were 9, I accidentally ruined his favorite bike. I stupidly left it out on his driveway and when his mom came home she ran over it with her car, successfully crushing the life out of the it.
I remember how bad I felt when I thought he wouldn't want me as a friend anymore. I remember the tears streaming down my face thinking we would never play together again, waiting for the moment he would see his favorite bike ruined thanks to me.
However, that moment never came, he just wiped the tears off my face and took my hand in his and dragged me off to play a different game. Never did he once blame it on me, he just said he'd try to fix it.
Don't get me wrong, Carter is in no way an angel.
Hell no.
He has his fair share of faults like every human being does. For example, he has a thing for annoying the shit out of me. Everyday is like a never ending episode of 'Let's piss off Stella', and watch the re-runs over and over again. I can tell he loves to do it, and that's why it's ten times more annoying. He's like the devil, charming to lure you in, then wreaks havoc when you're stuck.
And well, I'm stuck with him.
Carter here can also hold a huge grudge. He is a forgiving person to certain extent, but if you cross him things can get ugly.
One time last year when I was getting my science book from my locker, I accidentally knocked into the queen bitch of our school, who just so happened to be Carter's flavour of the week.
She hated me for being so close to Carter and lived for the moment she could prove she was better than me in any way. Of course, me being the person I am, didn't say a thing and tried walking away, stupid I know but that's just me. So she called me a mute bitch and pushed me into a locker, knocking my book from my hand.
Coincidentally Carter walked in the school at that time and saw, and let me tell you this, he was very mad. He broke up with her, maybe called her a few names, but he never touched her, he'd never hurt a girl. He hasn't talked or even looked at her since that day.
He has always been here to protect me, either from judgmental people, even the occasional perverted guy, or even his obsessed fan girls.
When I woke up yesterday to see his tear streaked face and blood shot eyes looking down at me, I knew that what we have would always be there. He never cried, and I mean never.
Maybe once when we were little, but never again after that.
Knowing he cried, flooded me with emotions and I found my self crying salty tears as well.
He just shook his head and clutched my hand in his as he always does, and took a seat by my hard hospital bed.
After our tears had dried, he went on to lecture me about never using matches again, and to call him when ever I needed something lit.
Just thinking about what happened that night stung my eyes with tears again, but I quickly ushered them away.
I just agreed to shut him up, not wanting to touch that subject. He knew what I was doing so he crawled in the bed with me and sat with me for hours, just talking about anything to distract me from the dark thoughts of that night.
I subconsciously find myself leaning closer into him now and wrapping my bandaged arms around him.
The door to the room opens and my mother walks in. She looks at Carter and I and smiles, but not her normal elated one.
This one is a sullen smile. In a flash the gloomy expression is wiped from her face and replaced easily.
What is she hiding?
"Hello, you two" she greets, the cotton slippers the hospital gave her dragging against the floor.
A year ago if she saw Carter and in this position she would be throwing a fit.
For some reason my parents were never supportive of our little fling, but that was then when Carter and I were together, and this is now. She knows nothing is going on between us, that this is just two friends hugging it out on a bed.
"Claire," he greets my mum smiling. He gets off the bed and goes to hug her.
"Carter, dear," My mum smiles at him showing off her pearly whites. "Why are you still here, your mom must be worried sick?" she asks being the concerned mother she is. She holds him at arm's length, him towering over her.
"My mum knows I'm here, she would be here but she has to work, she sends her best though," he explains.
Carter's mom Sara has always been a busy woman. From raising Carter alone since he was a baby to holding down a job at the same time, nothing ever came easy for her. She has been like a second mother to me ever since Carter and I became friends.
"Well, when you see her thank her for me," She pats him on the arms, urging him the sit in the nearby chair.
"Stella, do you need anything honey?" She questions, only now do I see when the harsh white light of the room shines down on her, how worn out she is. The bags under her brown eyes show from the lack of sleep, and the short brown hair that once framed her face is now frizzy and untamed, a great difference from her always neat and clean exterior.
"No, I'm fine mum" I hate seeing her like this, everything that has happened in the last 48 hours is really taking its toll on her.
My mum comes to me and moves some of my dull brown hair out of my face, placing a kiss on my temple. "You're father and I were so worried," She speaks softly, her voice tinged with sadness and concern.
That reminds me, I haven't seen my father since I woke up. Where would he be? "Where's dad, mum?
"Your father is taking care of some things. Stuff you don't need to worry about, just focus on getting better" she places another kiss on my temple. "The doctor says your burns weren't to severe considering the graveness of the accident, but we still need to be cautious," she says, looking at my legs which are covered in white gauze.
Just thinking about the burns opens the flood gates of my emotions.
"I'm so sorry mum" I blurt out and feel hot tears building in my eyes quickly. A giant bubble of grief sits heavily in my stomach. My house, our home, is gone because of my foolish mistake. "It's all my fault, we lost everything and it's all my fault. We lost our home mom, I'm so sorry" I let my sobs shake my body painfully and let the tears flow freely down my face.
Next thing I know I'm being wrapped in my mother's arms, "Shh, shh, Stella honey it's not your fault" She consoles me for what feels like the hundredth time, but now it doesn't work.
"How can you say that? If it wasn't for me we'd still have all our t-things, a house to go home to, " My voice shakes violently reaching a new high.
I've gone from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. The pain of my burns is starting to arise again as I feel the hammering of my heart in my ears.
My emotions are a out of control. Some may think I'm over reacting, but how can I not?
I'm the reason for all of this.
Me, Stupid Stella as some kids used to call me. How can you be such a mess up?
"Stella, Stop!" I feel her hands on my arms bringing me out of my thoughts. I look over and see Carter at my opposite side, his concerned brown eyes holding mine. I hear the repetitive and alarming beat of the heart monitor somewhere in the distance, still to clouded with anger aimed at myself to hear clearly.
"Stella you don't have to worry we have a plac-"
She stops abruptly her eyes widely as if saying something she shouldn't have. "You found a place already?" I say a little out of it, my heart beat still coming down from its alarming rate.
Her face slowly falls her brown eyes losing the little light they possessed before. Her gaze sweeps over to Carter and then back to mine.
"Mum, what's wrong?" She is worrying me a little. All of the anger I felt moments ago has died down and replaced by a feeling of anxiousness. What can be so bad about what she's about to say?
"I wanted to tell you this with your father here," her voice softens. We're moving sweetie" Okay, that's not bad. It's kind of what I was hoping for, why is she nervous though?
"Where?" As soon as I ask, her gaze gaze sweeps to Carter than to me again, eyeing us both sadly.
"Look, Stella we can talk about this lat-"
"Where?" I cut her off, my voice has grown louder along with the rising beat of my heart, feeling like at any moment it will stop from the roller coaster ride it's taken already.
I hate talking like this to her, but the worried feeling growing inside of me can't take the wait any longer.
"Sutton" She says, her gaze softening but the sadness never wavering from them.
"Where is that?" I glance at Carter quickly, his expression the same as mine.
"Up north sweetie" When the words escape her mouth my breath catches in my throat.
"N-north" The word spews out of my mouth and I don't know what I'm waiting for now, maybe a camera to come out and some guy to yell Punk'd! telling me this is all a joke, or someone to pinch me forcing me to wake up. I wish one of these were true, because nothing could, and would ever ultimately prepare me for what she said next.
"Yes North, we're not going to be living here anymore"
Then my heart sunk.
...............
Have you ever had that feeling of emptiness?
Not like a hungry feeling, but a gaping and mind numbing hole inside you that can't be filled.
Right now I'm sitting on a plane wondering what I've done wrong to deserve this.
Self pitying myself you may ask?
Well, yes. Yes I am.
Never would I have thought that everything I've ever known in life, would be abruptly ripped away all in a mater of days
I don't even care about my house or my things, that's so materialistic, the only thing that matters is the person I left behind.
His tear streaked face and heartbreaking sobs haunt my mind as I sit here wallowing in my own misery.
Usually I'd be mad at myself for being this weak, but now I don't give two shits.
He's my best friend.
Best friends aren't supposed to be separated by thousands of miles of land between them.
Carter and I were supposed to graduate together this year. I was supposed to try on a dress and have him tell me if it made me look like a fat beluga or not. I was supposed to fix his tie -because that boy will never know how to properly put one on- and ruffle his hair before we got our diplomas.
But, none of that will happen.
I taste a salty substance around my lips and wipe my face to see wet tears glistening along them. I lean my head to look out the window. We are above the clouds now, and probably have been for a while, not that I noticed before.
My mum sits next to me, my father asleep in the seat beside her with his head tilted back in an unhealthy angle, light snores escaping.
They haven't really said much to me about the place we are going. They just told me an old friend contacted them and offered to help us. I don't know how this 'old friend' found out though.
I tried to convince them to let me stay with Carter, but they weren't having any of that, so here I am without him.
I feel a stinging sensation on the palm of my hand and look down. A scarlet red line of blood has formed, I just cut myself, the old tourist pamphlet guilty of this.
I take a tissue I had from drying my eyes before and wipe the blood off, applying pressure to the tiny cut. I glance at the cover of the pamphlet again, it's crumpled and ripped from my constant fiddling with it.
Come enjoy Sutton, we await your visit. Our green forests and great mountains are ready to be explored by you!
This is the last place a want to be. Last place I want to graduate. Last place I want to live.
As ungrateful as it sounds, it's the truth.
Sutton seems like nice place by the pictures printed in the pamphlet, but living there is another story.
Sadly though, the story starts now.
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Thanks for reading!
I hope you liked it
Next chapter coming soon...a.k.a next week.
-Elena