"You doing okay?" Liam asks Niall, running his fingers through his best friend's hair. Harry, Zayn, and Justin have decided to have a museum day, but Liam and Niall weren't really feeling up to it. Niall's head is in his lap, and he shifts a bit to avoid answering. He's been oddly quiet all day, not sad exactly, but just seeming off, and it worries Liam. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm fine," Niall mumbles, chewing on his thumbnail. He only does that when he's feeling really anxious, and Liam gently tugs his hand away from his mouth.
"Niall, tell me what's wrong."
"I said nothing!" Niall sits up, suddenly not wanting to be touched. "I'm fine, Liam. Just tired."
Liam grabs his hand. "Niall..."
Niall wriggles free. "I'm gonna go take a nap." He crosses through the kitchen, grabbing a banana before making his way up the steps. He's not sure why he feels so off today, but everything seems to be irritating him, and he feels bad for snapping at Liam. Whatever's wrong isn't his best friend's fault.
To make himself feel better, he starts the water in the bathtub, adding some of the bubble bath he found under the sink. Humming to himself, he climbs in, resting his chin on his arm as he stares blankly ahead. He starts feeling annoyingly restless, and mindlessly scratches at his arm.
Then there's a knock on the door. "Niall?" Liam asks.
"Come in," Niall calls back. Liam makes his way into the bathroom and sits on the floor by the tub. He opens his mouth to say something, but Niall interrupts him. "I'm sorry," he says quickly. "Something is wrong, I just don't know what it is. I'm just feeling really anxious today, and I guess it's making me come across as irritated or mad. It's not you, not at all. I just feel..."
"Hey," Liam says gently, grabbing Niall's face to make him look at him. "It's okay. You're just fine. Have you taken your meds?" He runs a hand through Niall's hair, scratching lightly at the nape of his neck the way he knows Niall likes.
Niall hums, eyes falling shut. "No..."
"Ni," Liam scolds.
"I know, I know. I just forgot to yesterday, and today, too..."
"Take them when you get out, okay?"
"I will." Niall rubs his eyes. "Promise."
"I'll leave them on the counter for you. Where are they?" Liam asks, getting up from his spot next to the tub.
Niall sleepily shakes his head. "I'll grab 'em when I get out...they're buried in my suitcase somewhere, I don't wanna make you look for them."
"...Why are they buried in your suitcase if you've been taking them?" Niall hesitates a bit too long before answering, just long enough where Liam knows exactly what he's trying not to say. "Niall James!"
"I just...didn't want Justin and Zayn to see, okay? It's embarrassing!" Niall whines.
Liam shakes his head, bewildered. "More embarrassing than having an anxiety-induced meltdown out of nowhere?"
Niall pouts. "I guess not..."
"Exactly. Take your meds."
"I will, Liam. I promise," Niall says, and when Liam glares down at him, Niall holds out his pinky so he can pinky swear. Liam even goes so far as to dig through Niall's suitcase to find the pill bottle and leave it on the bathroom counter.
Not much later, Niall is woken up by someone washing his hair, and when he opens his eyes, Justin is kneeling in front of the tub, soapy hands in Niall's hair. "Hi there, baby boy."
Niall hums in response. "Hi," he adds after a yawn.
"Nice way to be woken up, huh?" Justin asks, smiling as Niall sleepily leans into his hand.
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I'm just about done. You ready to get out?"
Niall nods again. He lets Justin help him out of the tub and wrap him up in a towel and lead him out of the bathroom.
The pill bottle stays unopened on the counter.
- - -
"Babe, did you still want to go out to our fancy dinner tonight?" Zayn asks, stroking Niall's mostly-dry hair.
Niall nods. "I'd forgotten about that!"
"Alright, let's start getting ready then," Zayn suggests, and then laughs when Niall scrambles out of the bed despite his legs being tangled up in the sheets.
"What should I wear?" he asks.
"Well, while we were out, we picked you up something," Zayn smiles, and when Niall comes back out of the closet, he lets out a delighted gasp at the red dress laying on the bed.
"It's so pretty!" he squeals, running his hands over the fabric. "You got this for me?"
"Of course we did," Zayn smiles.
"Thank you," Niall whispers, but something feels weird inside. He absently scratches at his arm again.
- - -
"Ni, slow down on the wine," Justin laughs, taking the bottle from Niall and setting it on the other side of the table.
"No," Niall whines, a few drinks beyond tipsy. He may not know what has him so upset, but the wine is definitely helping. He reaches across the table for the bottle, but Zayn grabs his wrist.
"Justin said no. Don't be a brat," he warns.
Niall squirms a little, not wanting another spanking so soon. He meekly drinks out of his water glass.
"Good boy," Justin says gently, leaning over to kiss his forehead. Niall leans into him for just a second, the affection eases the tightness in his chest.
The rest of the night goes more smoothly. The feeling doesn't go away, it's just masked by the wine, and it's not until Niall is in the limo that the wine wears off and he starts to feel lower and lower. His heart rate is increasing, and his hands are shaking, and it isn't until right then that he realizes he never took his anxiety medication like he promised Liam he would.
Niall is a pro at hiding this, though, and though Justin and Zayn think he seems a little antsy, it doesn't seem like any more antsy than normal.
"Do you want to watch a movie, sweetheart?" Zayn asks, patting Niall's thigh.
Being touched makes Niall so uncomfortable he nearly squirms away, but forces himself to breathe. "No, I'm kinda sleepy...I think I'm just gonna lay down."
"Okay. Do you feel alright? You look a little flushed," Justin frowns.
"I'm okay," Niall answers, and when the limo stops, he's the first out of the car. Zayn and Justin meet up with Liam and Harry in the living room to watch something, and Niall makes his way up the steps to the bedroom. Taking his anxiety meds now would be pointless, since he hasn't taken them in at least a week, and they only really work when he takes them regularly. He swallows back a sob, and he chucks the pill bottle at the bed, hands trembling with frustration. This is all his fault! If he wasn't so fucking stupid and so embarrassed, he would be fine! But now...now Justin and Zayn could never want him, not really. "They would never love me if they saw me like this," he whispers to himself, wiping his face. That thought makes a sob practically choke him, the thought that something like this could make them stop loving him.
"Okay," he whispers to himself, takes a deep breath. "Okay. You know what you need to do." He takes another deep breath. He scrambles for his phone.
- - -
Two hours later, Justin and Zayn climb the steps to their bedroom.
"I can't believe you made us watch Peter Pan," Zayn laughs, shaking his head.
"It's a good movie! Besides, you've never seen the live action one," Justin points out. "And I --" He pauses. "Is Niall in the bathroom?"
Zayn turns to look. "No..."
Fear turns Justin's face expressionless. "He's...not in the bed either."
Zayn immediately takes his phone out of his pocket and calls his smaller boyfriend's phone, and Justin frantically runs down to Liam and Harry to inform them that Niall is missing. He's genuinely too afraid to show any fear, and when he tells Liam, it seems like he's dissociating.
Zayn keeps calling Niall's phone over and over until Liam shows Zayn his phone with a pale face. Liam and Niall have their shared locations on, and the little icon on Liam's phone shows that Niall is at the airport.