Shoot The Jerk

By TheStupefying

461K 23K 5.7K

This is the one where the principal gets his jollies by recruiting two stubborn violent know-it-alls for an a... More

Shoot The Jerk
Chapter 1: Walking Pink Fairytale Disaster in That Fab Tux.
Chapter 2: You Think She Glitters?
Chapter 3: Hyperventilating While Trying To Push My Shirt Up.
Chapter 4: Elevated To the Status of Pretty Girl.
Chapter 5: Everybody's Soles Are Dirty.
Chapter 6: Spray Painted Buffoon with a Horribly Hard Chest!
Chapter 7: Passionless Swapping Of Spit. Disgusting, I Know.
Chapter 8: A Foetus in Your Mother's Uterus.
Chapter 9: Courtney Was a Leech in Her Previous Birth.
Chapter 10: Second Door On the Right, Dear.
Chapter 11: She Wanted Me To Marry You Yesterday.
Chapter 12: Hoes Before Ex-Hoes.
Chapter 13: Bernard Was Actually Megamind.
Chapter 14: She Didn't End Up Pregnant That Day.
Chapter 15: The Amazing Girl Who Puked On Kayla.
Chapter 16: Two Words. Kayla. Jackson.
Chapter 17: ONTJ
Chapter 18: Finally.
Chapter 19: A Pool of Frustrated Green Slime.
Chapter 20: The Biker Chick Is Wearing A Sundress.
Chapter 21: This Is Going To Get Awk-mmmphf!
Epilogue: Part 2
Epilogue: Part 3

Epilogue: Part 1

13.7K 791 44
By TheStupefying

Epilogue: Part 1

“So, you’re the guy. Weren’t you the best man at my wedding?” James looked at the too-handsome-for-his-own-good seventeen year old in standing in front of him.

“Yes.” Jake answered. He wanted to turn around and walk away from the censure in the older man’s gaze, but he didn’t. He had to do this for Kayla, who was staring at them from the other side of the yard.

Jake had been invited to the annual barbecue party that Mrs. Jackson threw. It was pretty crowded, and unfortunately, James and his wife, Cindy, were also part of that crowd, just having returned from their honeymoon. Jake had had no choice but to submit gracefully to the ongoing interrogation.

“Were you with Kayla then?” James questioned.

“No, but I sure wish I was.” Jake blurted, before he could stop himself.

“Why do you wish that?” This, accompanied by the stern look the man was giving, was enough to make Jake think that there was no way to avoid such a direct question.

“Because we wasted a lot of time.” He mumbled. This was Kayla’s brother for cripes’ sake! He could not afford to slip up at a time like this. Luckily, James seemed to let that go without any more introspection.

“I hear you live a condo, alone.” His girlfriend’s brother said, out of the blue.

“There is the help.”

James completely ignored that and went on, “Has Kayla been there?”

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

Jake could feel himself begin to get annoyed. He wanted to go where Kayla was chatting with Cindy and put his arms around her. “Why don’t you come right out and ask what you really want to know?”

James stiffened. “Fine. Has my little sister been sleeping with you?”

“No.”

James relaxed, but only marginally. “So, you’re saying you have no intention of sleeping with my sister?”

“No.” Jake said, a tad insolently.

Kayla’s brother looked outraged. “You—I—how can you even say that?”

“Do you want me to say that I find your sister repulsive? Because I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I’m in love with her, and I’m sure you understand what that eventually leads to. Neither of us is stupid though, so in case you were wondering, we’ve decided to wait till we’re eighteen. Besides, our relationship has not even reached that stage yet.”

Jake shifted from foot to foot, feeling extremely uncomfortable about sharing personal details about his and Kayla’s relationship.

“You remind me a lot of me, when I was your age. Arrogant, impulsive and confused. You seem honest though, so I’ll leave you alone for now. She’s too good for you, you know.” With that parting shot, James walked away.

“Yes she is.” Jake whispered as the other man left.

-mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq-

Hate him all you want but I really wanted James' character to get some closure. Sorry :3

I'm stopping RandomFactsAboutMe because 21 is a cool number to stop it at. Ha.

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