My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
~ I know, I disappeared out of nowhere, without even giving a warning, once again, again! I should really stop doing that. I am very sorry, and I have no decent excuse, except that life happened. But I am using this new year opening to us to make a pact with myself, and I decided that I will finish more than one story this year. I am going to focus on this story, Mistakes, Behind The Curtains and In The Welfare Of War, as well as Road Trippin. So that means, lots of updates for you. I am already working on the other ones I will make tonight, but not all at once. Please have mercy.
~ Also, I created a playlist on Spotify with the music that help me write the stories I update. I will refresh the playlist every week. It is called "Fanfics for my little Broccolis. Mina Lisly"
~ Anyway, I hope that you will like this chapter. I really hope that you will like it, because it took me forever to write, and lot of bad things happening on the way for me to update (including 5K disappearing in the wild that I had to rewrite completely).
~ Anyway, enough chitchat, I will let you read this long overdue update, and will impatiently wait to read your thoughts on it.
Love, Mina💚💚💚
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Chapter 3: That Little Thing Called Confidence (7,4K)
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Stone Cold — Demi Lovato
Frozen — Madona
Phenomenal — Eminem
30 Minutes — T.a-t.U
All Of Me — John Legend
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Clary's PoV.
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Confidence. That little something that can boost someone into believing in themeselves. That little something that can make someone do the impossible. It was probably one of the first thing Valentine taught Clary when she was young. That as long as she had self confidence, as long as she believed in herself, she would be able to achieve her goals. And so, all her life, Clary judged herself as a person who didn't lack confidence.
But at this moment, as the words that uttered Jace Wayland were taking a full impact of her, she found herself suddenly doubting herself. And worst, she could feel her self confidence shy away and try to flee face to the confidence Jace Wayland was showing her.
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
Clary looked one last time at the cloths hanging in her dressing before settling for a simple plain black dress that she would compliment with accessories that were all in the various shades of brown. For several minutes, she had considered wearing one of her favourite skirt, a red asymmetric plaided skirt, stoping at the knee; but since she was going to be travelling alongside Jace Wayland, she had decided against wearing the colour of lust.
After she had signed the contract the night before, Clary went back home with her brother with whom she celebrated her promotion to the fullest, not letting any bitterness stain this moment for her. Izzy, Jon and her cheered to the advantages she would get and to her dream job finally becoming a reality; and during the whole time, Clary refused to think of the down side of what getting this promotion meant to her.
Actually, Clary had not thought of Jace Wayland until Hodge called her before the birds even started singing in the morning to tell her that she and her new colleague already had a mission in Texas and that they were expected to leave later that very same day. This is when Clary started fully realising what it would mean to work with a married man she slept with, and wanted to have sex with again. There was no point any more in lying to herself over and over, she craved for his touch. She had missed the way he had touched her during their night of folly. She had missed the way he made her feel. And now that she was calmly thinking about it, she wished that she had put some clauses in her contracts. Like, for example, the possibility to book her own planes and hotels, just to be sure that she wouldn't be stuck next seat or room with Jace Wayland.
All morning long, Clary had Jace Wayland in her mind while she did her suitcase; and now that she was getting dressed to travel, she had him in mind again. And it bothered her. She never really thought on how her outfits could impact others when she dressed, only caring if she felt good about herself in what she was wearing at the moment. But now, she was feeling like she was thinking like a bigot.
With a heave, she shook her head to focus and hushed herself when she saw that she only had an hour left before a cab would come pick her up. Swiftly, she put on her dress, throwing a brown belt and a long cardigan over it. She pondered for half a second the idea of doing a proper haircut; but after another quick glance at the clock, she decided against it and threw her straightener and curler in her suitcase. Then, she looked at her reflection, shooing her brush away as she managed to do a decent ponytail, in spite of her wild hair.
(Clary's outfit)
She was about to apply makeup on her face, when her phone blasted Kris Kross's Jump startling her just enough for her to put her phone on speaker all the while opening her mascara bottle. She barely had the time to let the caller know that they were online that her mother exclaimed:
"I am so happy for you, honey."
Clary rolled her eyes, retaining a grunt as she inwardly cursed her brother and his big mouth. As much as Clary had always been the one in their family to best keep a secret, Jon had always had a big mouth, wether he wanted it or not. How many surprises did he orchestrated and ruined, because he would unconsciously blurt everything before time.
"I was going to call you tonight from the hotel. I mean, you barely woke up, didn't you?" Clary assured, wondering how did Jon manage to find the time to call their Mom between his job, and the time zone. Their parents never moved from the city where they grew up and fell in love, Seattle; and therefore were three hours late to their New York time.
"From the hotel? Do you already have a mission? Oh, honey, I hope they didn't pressure you into signing anything you didn't want to commit to," Jocelyn worriedly asked, making Clary roll her eyes again, and miss the wing of her eyeliner. She groaned, before wiping the mess away and reassuring her mother:
"Don't worry, Mom. Didn't Jon tell you that I got everything I wanted? Good pay, good hours, and I get to travel to actually do my job. I hadn't been cheated into the job, rest assured of that."
"Okay. But if you're already traveling, be sure to have a little pharmacopeia with you. You know, the basics."
"Mom! I'm going to Texas! Not to a country with no drugstore," Clary exclaimed, missing once again her cat eye.
"You never know. What if you get a headache in the middle of the night? Do you want me to make it for you and send it to your hotel? I don't mind."
At this point, Clary had rolled her eyes so many times and missed her cat eyes so many times that she had given up on the idea of doing anything more than mascara to her eyes. She was just going to look even more natural than usual today.
"Moooom ... I'm twenty five. I'm a big girl, contrarily to popular belief. And therefore I do not need you to send me last minute things on my trips. I'm sure that if I happen to have a headache, the hotel will be able to supply me with the necessary drugs. And promise, if not, I'll call you first thing to tell you how right you were," Clary promised, all the while looking at the palette of different lip colours she had, before she decided to go for a nude.
"I do not want you to have a headache, honey. It's just that we're better safe than sorry. Anyway, are you really happy about this promotion?" Jocelyn inquired, making Clary feel like her mother had to pick the day when she would be the most worried to call her.
"Of course I am. It's what I came to New York for. It's what I studied for. I would be a very weird person if I weren't happy about getting my dream job."
"Good. It's what matters most," Her mother happily agreed on while Clary applied her lipstick. "Is everything alright with Jon and Izzy?"
At this, Clary stopped everything, frowning at the phone as she fished out for information: "What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Jon seemed distant at the phone when I asked about Izzy."
"Did he? It's probably because he was at work, Mom. He probably didn't want to talk too much about her in front of their coworkers. You know how Jon likes to keep his love life, private," Clary reassured her mother, though a part of her brain was actually finding it weird that Jon would be shy about talking about Izzy. It was a secret to n one that Jon loved gushing about his fiancé, especially to their mother who never lost an occasion to gleam with bliss at the perspective of seeing her eldest child married.
"Okay. Well, honey, call me as soon as you land, oaky? I have to go to work."
"I'll text you, Mom," Clary promised, rolling her eyes once again at the useless worry her mother was displaying.
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
An hour later, she was in a cab, heading to the airport while she was thinking of what her promotion meant for her on a regular basis. Now that she was clearly thinking about it, it was starting to be obvious for her that she needed to find herself a new place. With the crazy work hours that were bound to happen soon enough, she would barely be home, and she didn't want to impose to her brother her crazy schedule.
She thought that she ought to have a conversation with Jon as soon as she would come back, in which she would propose him to let Izzy come live with him while she would find a small flat somewhere not too far from the airport since she was bound to travel a lot from now on. If she were honest with herself, the perspective of having to soon live on her own had been haunting her ever since Jon had proposed to Izzy.
But she was not going to endlessly live with her brother, especially when this one was planning on making a life and a family with the love of his life. So she knew she had to find a place on her own, where she would probably avoid going as much as possible.
As she was trying to figure out how she was going to manage planning a move all the while juggling with her new responsibilities at her job, the cabdriver pulled in front of the airport and let Clary know that she had reached destination.
With a certain knot in her stomach, she got out of the taxi, and walked to the boarding desk, her ticket in hands, all the while pulling her suit case behind her. Contrarily to her usual flights, the check-in did not take more than fifteen minutes (queue included); and so she happily crossed the customs to wander in the duty-free boutiques on the other side.
She was sniffing different sort of famous perfumes, when she heard someone behind her tell her: "I didn't pick you for a perfume kind of girl."
Without having to turn to see who was talking to her, Clary knew who it was. Slowly, she turned to face the man who gave her so many conflicting thoughts, doing her best to keep her face unreadable; and once they were face to face, she noticed that he was holding himself a bottle of perfume, except that it was a male one.
"I do like to smell nice," Clary pointed out, doing her best to keep her tone professional, and not unfriendly.
Jace Wayland had a small smile on the corner of his lips that was neither self sufficient, neither arrogant; and he reached for a particular bottle that he gave to Clary, explaining himself: "What I meant is that I pecked you for being more of an Eau de Parfum, kind of girl. Something more subtle than just the blunt and raw perfume."
Without being really sure of what she should do or say, Clary shrugged, putting back at its place the bottle of perfume that she had in hands. For a second, she considered making a small scene - the one that she had rehearsed over and over in her head ever since she signed the contract, a scene would have been worth any good rom-com; but then she decided against it. She could be professional. She could bite her bone, and pretend that she did not sleep with that married man. She could treat him like any other coworker that she would have just met. She was strong enough to do so.
And it was with that resolution in mind that she looked back on her new coworker, with her best commercial smile as she said: "To be honest, I'm not much of a fragrance kind of girl. But I'm a girl, and when theres a shop with duty-free, I have no other choice than to buy something."
Jace Wayland chuckled a little, his eyes quickly glancing at her ponytailed hair before focussing again on her face. He seemed about to say something, but apparently thought better of it and let out a polite heave as he put back the product he had in his hands on a shelf and said: "I think I better use the few minutes we have left before boarding to go out for a smoke."
(Jace)
Clary did not say anything, her eyes watching Jace Wayland walk away from her while the quiet and reasonable part of her was already judging him for being one of those nicotine addict who paid big lobbies in order to increase their chances to have an ugly cancer. The loud and unreasonable side of her was checking Jace out from behind, thinking dirty things about what his booty would look like without his trousers on. For a brief moment, Clary's gaze was lost in space, her mind and body drooling over the reminiscence of Jace's touch; but then, she shook her head, chastising herself and left the show without buying anything after all.
She didn't have to wait or queue to board the plane, as she was in business class, and went straight to her seat, only to see that she had the corridor one. She quickly debated about what was correct to do or not, but then sat on the window seat, deciding that Jace shouldn't have been smocking if he wanted so badly to be next to the scuttle. Then, once that she was comfortable in her seat, she took her laptop out of her bag and checked her mail for better thing to do. She wanted to revisit the folder of the client they were about to go see; but she figured it would be best if she waited for Jace to do so.
As she was skimming through her mails, deleting one by one all of the junk she didn't want but was too lazy to unsubscribe to, she surprisingly saw that she had an email from her father, as well as one from Sebastian. With curiosity, she first opened the one coming from her father
To: Clarissa Morgenstern
From: Valentine Morgenstern
Date: 23 February 2014 12:37
Subject: Your brother has a big mouth
I am sorry to tell you that your brother already spoiled you all the fun you might have had to tell me about your promotion. What I propose to you is that the next time you get promoted, you keep it to yourself, and only tell Jon last. Even after the mailman. Hahah.
But joke aside, I am very happy for you, and according to what Jon has been telling me, very proud of you. See? It pays off to be an annoying pain in the ass when it comes to claim what is rightfully yours. Literally. Haha. Though I hope that you won't let yourself get pulled into work, like you always do when your passionate about something. Don't become a workaholic, and a stranger to us, your mother wouldn't support it.
Talking about your mother, I am sure that she already found time to call you, as much as I am sure that Jon called her first. The two of us are going to come to New York in a couple of weeks, but I'm not sure which hotel to check us in. I would have asked Jon for advise, but you know your brother, he would probably blabber around, and half the cosmos would know that we would be coming to New York, when I just want your mother and I to have a weekend for ourselves before she starts obsessing about Jon's wedding.
Izzy's parents called us last night, and we are probably going to gp to Boston in a month or so, so we can settle everything neatly. It's been decided that Jon and Izzy would celebrate their marriage in Boston (Izzy finally dropped her crazy idea of Hawaii, you know how I like the heat). Your mother is very excited about that all ordeal, and I think that she soon will try to know if she will be soon planning your own wedding. I tried to let her know not to push you, but you know your mother, she will never judge but always be too happy to organise your wedding.
Anyway, say hi to Jon from me, after killing him, of course; and don't forget to recap me your first impressions doing your dream job.
Love, Dad
As she read once more the mail that her father had sent her, Clary couldn't help but smile. No matter how much she liked her parents, her bond was a little bit stronger and mischievous with her father than with her Mom. And this was why she did not hesitate on answering him right away, her smile still lingering on her lips.
To: Valentine Morgenstern
From: Clarissa Morgenstern
Date: 23 February 2014 15:21
Subject: Jon does indeed have a big fat mouth
Really, I don't understand how Jon manages to keep anything to himself. I hope he will at least let Izzy have the joy of announcing that she's pregnant when the time will come. And of course, since he told Mom when the birds weren't even singing yet, I had to get ready for my first mission with her on speaker. She actually seems a little nostalgic of us, I don't know, something in the sound of her voice sounded off; so I think it's a great idea for you to fly over to New York. She will get to see us, gush with Izzy about the wedding, and change scenery a little.
But don't think I am stupid, and I didn't notice that your coming to New York coincides perfectly with the date of a certain anniversary of a certain couple I know. I am sure that Mom is going to love it. Especially if you take her to the River Café. It's one of the most romantic restaurant in town, though quiet expensive since it's very touristic.
I hope I will get to see you when you will come. I don't have yet my schedule for the upcoming month, I am supposed to get it when I come back from this mission.
I will be honest with you, I am a little bit anxious about starting this job. I am not sure that I can do this, no matter how much I tell myself that I deserve this place in the company, there is still that little voice of doubt in my mind that says that I should play the safe card, and stay where I know I excel. Don't worry, I know I will be able to quiet that stupid voice, but ... I just had to say it to someone.
Anyway, my plane is about to take off, and I am going to pretend to be fancy and put those sleeping mask on to see if it really works after all.
XOXO, Clary
With that satisfaction, Clary listened to the little whooshing sound that indicated that her email had been sent. Then, she looked up a little, watching people boarding with tired faces, or on the contrary excited faces of mostly young children; but she didn't linger much on this much and used the remaining time she had of using an electronically devise before the take off to read with curiosity what Sebastian could have written her.
From: Sebastian Velrac
Date: 23 February 2014 13:30
Subject: Congratulation
Well, now that it has been officially announced, I can send you this official message to congratulate you on your promotion. Though, let's be honest, it was a surprise to no one back at the office. That promotion has been yours for quite some time, it was just a question of knowing when. And I'm sure you'll rock at it, as usual.
Anyway, now that you're some big shot Agent that is no longer working with me on a daily basis, I think I can officially ask you for a drink when you'll come back. Nothing really implicating anything that could be qualified as a date, or even a 'good time' as you put it. Just a drink between two people who are looking forward to become friends at some extent.
Until I hear from you,
Cheers, Seb
As she read Sebastian's email over and over, Clary surprised herself with hesitating on actually giving in. She was no fool. She perfectly knew that if she went out with him for drinks, in the hope to 'form a friendship', their relationship would ultimately blossom into something more than that. After all, she wasn't completely immune to Sebastian's charms. He was actually someone that could be quiet charming when he wanted to, and for the past few months, he proved that he wanted to be charming to her quite a lot. If she had met him a few years ago, Clary would have actually fallen into his arms, and would have gladly let herself fall into that relationship Sebastian was so adamantly selling her.
But the fact was, she was another person, now. She no longer was the girl who easily fell in love with the first charming guy with a nice smile and eyes out of this world. She was more of a practical girl, who just saw love and relationships as things that weren't for her. She didn't believe that it didn't exist, her parents and her brother were the perfect proof of love; she just thought that some people weren't made for love. And Jace Wayland was just a proof among other. After all, if he had been a person made for love, he wouldn't have cheated on his wife, no matter what, no matter how much she seduced him back in the room, no matter whatever was happening back home for him. If he had been in love with his wife, he wouldn't have cheated. This was a fact that Clary would never be able to erase from her mind.
Just as she was thinking of the man that made her body and mind in perfect disaccord, he finally boarded, smelling cold tobacco as he put his briefcase above her head. Clary watched him stretch a little as he neatly put his briefcase up, her mind reminding her of the golden candy hidden behind his suit; but she still had the wit to look away when he finished, and pretend to put away her laptop. From the corner of er eyes, she saw how he checked the seat numbers and let out a small chuckle before sitting down next to her.
"First flight?" He asked all the while buckling his belt with grace and nonchalance. Clary did the same before putting her phone on plane mode as she answered:
"Not really. But it is definitely my first business trip."
He nodded of comprehension, his eyes suddenly solely on the stewardess in front of them as she finally closed the door where people had been coming from. Clary took it as her cue that he was no longer interested on pursuing a conversation; and so, she took one of the magazines at her disposition to skim through while the safety instructions were given. it wasn't that she didn't care about safety, it was just that she had already flown quite a few times and knew them by heart, now.
As the plane took off, she couldn't help the little smile of happiness that grew on her lips for the take off was proving to her that she was really on the way to accomplish her dream job. She turned a little her head to start talking about the mission to Jace Wayland, but when she realised that he was oddly paying great attention to the stewardesses, she decided to turn her attention to the scuttle and to watch the city of New York slowly become nothing but a grain of sand from her perspective.
Once they were in the air, and free to remove their seatbelt, Jace removed his and got up to look for his brief case. Then, he removed a folder from there, and gave it to Clary before he sat back next to her with the same elegance that seemed to follow him everywhere. She opened it, and without much surprise saw that it was the same folder that Hodge had sent to her place, giving all the necessary information they would need to convince their future client that he would need their company.
"I was thinking that we should use the flight time to actually make sure we're on the same page concerning this client," Jace proposed, lowering the tray in front of him to use it as a desk of fortune.
"It's a good idea," She conceded, fully committed to the conversation, and suddenly forgetting all about the man, only seeing a coworker in Jace Wayland. "How do you usually deal with clients? What's your approach with them?
Jace chuckled with disillusion, his eyes solely on the folder as he explained: "Since I am already sort of a pessimist in life, I usually tend to scare people off. You know, tell them all the bad things that could happen to them if they don't sign for the insurance company that I work for. Wether it is human, or financial. And oddly, the richer people are, the more they care more about their money than their family. I once had a client who refused to put life insurance on his wife and kids, but insured almost all valuable things of his domain."
Clary looked at Jace, with horror mixed with denial. If she had to qualify herself, she would say that she was the opposite of him. She wasn't overwhelmingly optimistic; but she wasn't a pessimist like Jace, either. And she would certainly never talk about someone being that shallow and cruel to his family with that much nonchalance. It seemed like it was even a good old joke to Jace.
It seemed that he caught her mood, because he patronisingly smiled to her and said: "Let me guess. You think that you'll never be able to talk about that kind of freaks with so little care ... Well, experience hardens you and makes you care less about those .... petty people and their pets problems."
"'Those petty people and their petty problems' are the ones who pay you at the end of the month," Clary pointed out, but Jace seemed to see things differently:
"No. The company pays me. The client pays the company. it's not the same."
"Isn't it? If they don't pay the company, you won't get paid."
"It's not the same. Take as if you were a waitress in a restaurant. The client doesn't pay you directly. But wether there is affluence or not, your boss still has to pay you at the end of the month. No matter what. It's the same here, except that the numbers are just bigger."
Clary looked for something to retort, but couldn't see a flaw in his thinking. He was right. Even if she was being laid off for lack of income for the company, the company would still have to pay her indemnities. No matter what as Jace said.
"Anyway. All of this to say that I think that you would be better than me to sell the good sides of joining our Company, while I would frighten the client by telling him about all the horrible things that could happen to him if he doesn't have our insurance."
"I guess we could work like that," Clary conceded before she took out of her bag her own folder concerning the client, along with a little notepad.
During the whole hour that followed, both her and Jace dissected what the folder was telling them about their client's life, and prepared together to make sure that they would leave with his signature at the bottom of the contract that they would present him.
Clary had to admit to herself that she was pleasantly surprised that Jace did not try to impose her his way of working, or even himself into her work. He listened, and gave his opinion when he seemed to judge that it was necessary; but he did nothing more. It even came to a point where Clary couldn't even tell if he approved or not her way of thinking when it came to work.
When it became obvious that they no longer had anything to talk about that was work related, an awkward silence grew between them. Something heavy and full of tension that she tried to ignore for more than half an hour. There was nothing that she could do to distract herself from the fact that she was sitting next to Jace Wayland, a man she had sex with and on who she still fantasised from time to time despite the fact that she knew that he was married. All the movies that were available on the plane, she had already seen them; and now she was regretting not asking Jon to upload a few films on her laptop so she could have something new to watch.
More than once, she felt Jace's gaze linger on her, and all she could tell about it was that she didn't like it. It wasn't that his gaze was being crude or demeaning; it was just that she didn't like that she liked that he was actually paying attention to her as a person and not just a coworker. And as she was trying to make sense with herself, Clary suddenly realised that the awkwardness that she was facing at this moment was something she was going to have to live with for as long as she would be working with Jace Wayland.
She couldn't decently ask of Hodge to change partners. After all, he told her himself that he teamed her up with the best so she wouldn't have to complain. So she took a deep breath through her nose, and ostensibly turned her body so she would face Jace Wayland as she decided to kill the elephant in the room:
"I think that since we're going to have to work together on almost a daily basis, we should talk about ... what happened."
Slowly, Jace Wayland turned his head to look at her, his face not showing a single emotion while his eyes swiftly analysed her own face, searching for something that she couldn't fathom. She waited for him to bounce back and say something, but when he kept on remaining silent, she cleared her throat and said:
"I think we should try to start over, and pretend that nothing happened. I think it is fair to say that we both feel enough suit and angst to take it as our punishment for what we've done. I mean, I don't want to have to spend every flight we will take together in this level of awkwardness."
He still did not say a word, his golden eyes looking at her green ones with intensity and making Clary feel like she should have bore the awkwardness and never intend to address the issue that was between them.
She was about to take her laptop out of her bag, just to pretend to occupy herself with something, when he finally spoke, his voice poised and elegant as always:
"I am sorry about the way I talked to you yesterday night. It wasn't fair of me to lash onto you the way I did, nor to put the blame on your shoulders."
Clary was surprised by this sudden apology, but she didn't let it show the slightest as she asserted with assurance: "It wasn't fair, indeed."
The ghost of a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth before he added: "And I shouldn't have treated you like a ..."
He seemed to hesitate on which word to use, and so Clary decided to help him out on this one, all the while being as honest as possible with him and herself: "Like a whore? You did worst, you made me feel like one."
"I am sorry for that, as well," He apologised, with such a tone that Clary suddenly wondered if the word she used was the word he had been looking for. She tried to find something else, but she didn't know any how-to book that could help her out in this situation.
They stayed silent for a long minute, before she decided that what they both said was enough. She turned to look in front of her again, when he said something that she was not expecting:
"I agree with you, we should try to act professional during our missions together. But as for pretending that nothing happened between us ... I'm not that good of a liar."
Confidence. That little something that can boost someone into believing in themeselves. That little something that can make someone do the impossible. It was probably one of the first thing Valentine taught Clary when she was young. That as long as she had self confidence, as long as she believed in herself, she would be able to achieve her goals. And so, all her life, Clary judged herself as a person who didn't lack confidence.
But at this moment, as the words that uttered Jace Wayland were taking a full impact of her, she found herself suddenly doubting herself. And worst, she could feel her self confidence shy away and try to flee face to the confidence Jace Wayland was showing her.
She looked for something to say, for something that would both ease her conscience, and remind Jace Wayland of what they did and how they both should feel ashamed of their actions; but the words that he uttered just after simply stunned her to a complete silence:
"You're a very beautiful woman, Clarissa. Only a fool would try and pretend otherwise. And I'm just a man, and only a stupid man would pretend that he didn't get the chance to see you in your most beautiful state. I'm not saying that I am going to tell every soul I know of what happened between us, I am just letting you know that I will not pretend that nothing happened between us."
Against her better, Clary blushed. She didn't need to be a seer to understand the compliment behind the words. And what was worst was that she liked the compliment. She liked the fact that a part of that man she spent a single night with still cared enough to admit to her that he didn't regret the night.
She wasn't a fool, she knew he was as conflicted as her about this whole mess. His confession of last night was proof enough. But still, There was this tiny part of him that claimed loud and clear that he did actually enjoyed his time with her. Just like she did. No matter what, there was this little something, and instead of making her feel guilty, it made her feel on the contrary less guilty.
But the problem remained the same, no matter the compliments, no matter how he would manage to make her feel less guilty: "That doesn't change the fact that you are married."
And finally, Clary saw the mask that he was wearing crumble. Hurt crossed his face, as if he was only remembering their sin, and a selfish and unknown part of Clary liked it. It was if, for a brief moment, his whole attention, his mind and his should had been solely on her, making him forget about everything. Even the ring on his finger.
He deeply inhaled through his nose, and looked back in front of him, his mood suddenly slightly darker as he muttered: "Indeed."
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
Clary watched their client open to Jace and her, completely surprised to see that his face did not match the picture that was shown to them in their folder. It wasn't much that he was a complete different person, it was just that he had drastically changed his look. Instead of having dark locks and a clear face, the man facing them had a perfectly shaven head with a full and garnished beard that would make envious more than one man. Still, his features remained the same, and Clary had to say that she was even caught by the brightness of his blue eyes.
The man, Mister Branwell friendly smiled to them as he made them enter his house, and just by that simple but important smile, Clary could tell that the deal was as good as done. They just needed to pitch properly the deal to him for him to sign the contract that would bound him to their company.
But as they all sat in the small living-room, she suddenly felt something freeze her from the inside. She didn't know how she could even feel something like that, when she had been pitching to rich potential customers for years, and selling her Company's goods for almost as long. But all she could tell was that hearing Jace start his pitch with confidence and relentlessness suddenly made her doubt about her choices in life. What if she wasn't that good after all? What if this job she thought she liked so much wasn't made for her? She wasn't so sure of her selling skills suddenly, and having Jace next to her didn't help her one bit.
Wether it was as a man, or as a coworker, Clary didn't like having him so close to her when she wasn't sure of herself. She didn't know why, but suddenly, he was making her feel nervous. She listened to his pitch, hypnotised by it, as much as Mister Branwell was; but for different reasons. She wasn't mesmerised by the selling man he suddenly was - she wasn't even mesmerised by the handsome man he was (she had enough time to fantasise last night when she was alone in her hotel room)- no, she was caught like a bug in a spiderweb by his confidence.
Maybe it was this peak of confidence that was making her feels nervous; all she knew was that when Jace gave her an opening to jump in the pitch and start talking about the benefits of having their company as an insurance company, she froze. It wasn't something, and for someone as inexperienced as Mister Branwell was, it was unnoticeable; but she knew that Jace noticed. He simply looked at her in a funny way, before he went on with the presentation, giving to their future clients the positive points that she had been supposed to sell herself.
As Jace started pitching the good of their company, Clary felt a wave of self depreciation and low esteem rise in her and beat her down like she had never experienced before. It was as if she was completely useless, when she had been supposed to be the one who would make the client lean in their favour. But before her humiliation could go any further, Mr Branwell unknowingly saved what was left of her self esteem by declaring:
"You don't have to say more, Mister Wayland. I was convinced just by the paper your company sent me. And what you said only comfort me in my idea. I will sign the contract."
Jace politely smiled, slightly nodding in direction of their freshly new acquired client before he turned to Clary and ask her for the contract, even though they both knew that he had himself a copy in his briefcase. It was as if he didn't want for her to appear that useless in front of their client. She plastered her best commercial smile on her face as she took the documents out of her bags and presented the to mister Branwell.
It took them in hands, and as he skimmed through the contract, he joked: "So I see that we still leave women handle the real heavy duty to carry around the important things."
Both Jace and Clary chuckled at the joke, though Clary's heart clearly wasn't in the joke. She felt Jace's eyes swiftly rest on her, before snapping back to Mister Branwell who suddenly got up, urgency written on his face.
"I can't sign a contract like that," He exclaimed, before straddling to a cabinet where he served three glasses of scotch. "I always have a drink for my important deals. And this one is as good as another," He exclaimed, giving both Clary and Jace a glass.
They all cheered and drank, Clary more reluctantly than the two others for she felt she didn't deserve this drink of victory; and after a lot of small talks, Jace and her took leave of Mister Branwell.
In the taxi that drove them back to the hotel, Clary did not say a word, and Jace seemed to respect her wish of silence for he did not utter a word himself. Not even to ask her what happened to her during their meeting. During the whole ride, Clary wondered if she shouldn't reconvert herself in some other profession. It had never happened to her to freeze during a pitch, and this was something depressing to her. She had always considered herself as someone excellent at her job, mostly because she liked it. But now she was not so sure about the quality of her work.
As they were nearing their hotel, Clary could feel Jace's gaze on her, but still, he had the grace to not say anything, her miserable state probably showing on her face. When the cab pulled in front of their hotel, Jace kept the door opened for her; and then he walked her to her bedroom, as any gentleman would have done. While the elevator was taking them to her room, Clary was starting to think at a professional reconversion, considering nun as her number pick. After all, it would solve her problems. She would be less materialistic, she wouldn't have to worry about getting fired, and she wouldn't have to fight with her desires to bang her married co-worker since all her co-workers would be nuns as well.
"Are you alright?" Jace asked her once they were in front of her room, breaking her off of thoughts of celibacy and candle sticks. Clary age him a tight smile, as she assured:
"Yes. Why would you even ask?"
Jace smirked to her, his eyes ravaging her face before he pointed out: "You're not that good of a liar either." She swallowed, looking down and cursing at the fact that he wasn't going to let her in her self pity after all. She would have liked better if he had pretended not to notice anything.
"You know, it's normal to have cold feet for your first big mission. I'm sure that you don't remember it, but I'm willing to bet that you have cold feet when you first started the job. No matter what job you do, wether it's International Agent, waitress, stewardess or retailer; you always have doubts on your first big day. It will go away by our next mission. I'm willing to bet on that as well."
And just like that, just with those simple words, Jace managed to bring back to Clary her confidence. He was right, he first job on the field had been a disaster as well, and this time, she didn't have anybody to help her out. She just had cold feet as he put it, but she was going to rock at their next pitch, like she always did. She wasn't useless, and she wasn't bad at her job. She just felt a bad adrenaline rush. So, she wouldn't have to end up nun, after all.
Those were the words that she had needed to feel confident again; and all she could do as she felt her self esteem rise again was smile with a pure and genuine smile as she looked up at Jace and said: "Thank you."
Jace looked at her funny, before a small tight smile escaped his lips: "You're welcome ... And I'm sorry."
"For what?" She asked, wondering why he felt the need to apologise when he just gave her the pep talk of the year.
"For that."
He cupped her face and leaned, everything in his position indicating that he was about to kiss her.
.
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
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~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews. Mostly because I know I am a meanie and that I just finished on a freaking cliffhanger. I know, you hate me, but 7K! It's a long update guys!
~ We have Jace making a move on Clary. How do you think she will react? And what was your favourite part?
~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out
Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.
Kiss💋 Kiss💋 Bang🔫 Bang🔫