『 chapter xxxiv: CLEARWATER. 』
AS IF THE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WITH EYES bluer than the sea of which her older sister is being dragged out of didn't have much days to begin with, she was sure that seeing Bella paler than ever on the black sand of the shore was taking some more days off. June had ran and ran and ran until she saw no more trees and until she could finally let Jacob catch up to her, wolf form and all. She had screamed when she saw her sister jump from the cliffs and the crippling terror June had months ago — the one that paralleled the fear that was accompanied by Bella's severe depression, the one that made her seemingly dead and willing to take her own life — rushed back to her brain.
June crumbled down on her knees, her hands immediately going to Bella's chest as she lay motionless. She did chest compression and did her best to try and get the water out of Bella's lungs but she could hear her breathing thin and her chest fall flatter. She was crying loudly then and Jacob took over pushing down on Bella's chest, still, June could only cry and hear the ocean crash near them and Bella's labored breathing.
What she had to do was clear. Regardless of the warnings of Jacob, "June, don't—"
"She's my sister," June replied like that was all that there was needed to say, and that was. "I have to save her."
June's hands reached her sister's face and she poured the tingling sensation of her magic into her. June winced as she felt the power in her bones argue with use. Jacob's hand went to rub her back soothingly. Like clockwork, Bella's face was revived of its blushing red color and her lips turned pink again. Water spewed from her mouth and she coughed and coughed.
"Bella!" June sobbed, pulling her sister up. Bella slowly wrapped her arms around June as well. June cried and cried and cried. She didn't know what else to do. Her sister almost died. Bella almost died— "What the fuck were you thinking? You were trying ... what were you doing?!"
Bella coughed a few more times, croaking, "I did it for ... fun, I told you I ... I wanted to."
"Dying isn't fucking fun!"
"I wasn't —"
"If you hadn't texted me—" June shouts to cut herself off, rubbing her face as she stared at her sister with mad blue eyes. "—god, I swear you're digging my grave, Isabella."
"Ouch," Bella cracked a smile, croaking still. "You're gonna Isabella me? I guess I deserve that."
"For fun, huh?" Jacob's voice comes out. His dark eyes squint as he looks out of the water, his cropped hair still dripping water. "Didn't you look at the sky? There's almost a damn monsoon coming."
"Of course she didn't." June sniped.
Bella winced, "Sorry."
"It's okay, I guess." June frowns. "You're alive."
Jake snorts, looking at the older Swan, "Barely."
"Thanks for pulling me out." Bella tells Jake.
"Thank your sister for bringing you to the land of living," He says with a nod.
Bella eyes go to June who slumps, "Let's just get you home, yeah, you're gonna freeze in these clothes—"
Jacob abruptly stands. June looks at the play of emotions on his face. The pack was talking to him. Listen. Listen. Listen. It was a trick she had picked up with Sue, to listen to the wolf telepathy that went on within the pack. It was a short service way to understand what they needed if they couldn't phase in human form and tell their Mender themselves. June concentrated, holding Bella's hand to warm her up while focusing, finally tapping into that soft static before a pour of voices flooded her.
— HARRY.
Jacob's voice was the one she heard first, naturally. The panic and the worry was evident.
WHAT'S HAPPENED?
HARRY. ITS HARRY.
CLEARWATER.
HARRY CLEARWATER. ITS HARRY.
Sam and Paul's conjoined.
NOT HIM.
... CLEARWATER.
NOT NOW.
Then Jared's.
NO!
A new voice. It's startled. It's higher than the rest of the voices.
NO ... OH MY GOD MY DAD ...NOT MY DAD
The voice speaks again and it's clear who it is. And the realization sends a fire pouring into June's brain.
IS THAT CLEARWATER?
WHO ... WHAT'S THAT SOUND!
LEAH!
Sam calls within the bond, because he knows, too.
S-SAM? SAM.
LEAH. LEAH ITS OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY—
OH MY GOD WHATS HAPPENED TO ME ... MY DAD ... I DID THAT TO HIM —OH MY GOD ... SAM IM BURNING —
June could hear the pain, she could hear the confusion and the anguish. She could hear it all and she held onto Bella's hand tighter.
YOU'RE OKAY. FOCUS, LEE. YOU'RE OKAY.
With the entrance of Leah's mind meant the inexperienced control of letting every thought and every memory from her pull through. "I'll never let you down, Lee." Flashes of Leah and Sam and nights spent together, lips pressed softly to one another. No one has control of what they are thinking, nobody. For Leah, everything is Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam's eyes and his voice and his laugh. "I love you, Sam." I love you. I love you. And for Sam, it's Emily. "EMILY." It's memories of Leah replaced with Emily's face, Emily's laugh and voice. It's Emily's cooking and soft features, her scars and the night she got them, it's the way Emily smiles and all Emily that it's so consuming that it makes June want to choke. Imprinting is vastly overbearing, she almost sees Jacob's mind, but she cannot, because then he'll see hers and her secrets will crumble before this one can be resolved.
I'M NOT — WHAT'S HAPPENED — SAM WE'RE ... AND JARED AND PAUL AND EMBRY ... AND JUNE OH MY GOD —JUNE IS ONE OF YOU?— EMILY? WHAT DOES SHE—NO PLEASE I DONT WANT TO KNOW—
June disconnects as easily as she entered and lets out a choked out a horrified sob. Jacob flashes his eyes to her, seeing his imprint crumble with the realization he has yet to accept. It was clear though. Leah's now a La Push shape shifter. Like Jacob, like Sam.
Bella looked worriedly at her, "June—"
"Take Bella home," She orders as she stands shakily.
Jacob rushes to her, "What are you gonna—"
"I need to find Leah," June says without issue. Her eyes meet Jacob's and the crying has yet to cease. "I need to ... she needs me ... I need to help her phase back—"
She doesn't get to finish because Jacob's lips crash against hers and she holds him, sobbing through the kiss. "I love you." He tells her against her lips. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
June nods, turning to face Bella. "Jake's gonna take you home, don't worry, it's pack stuff and I'll explain later."
"What's happened with Harry?" Bella asks suddenly. Sensing the surprise she said, "Both of you said Harry and then Clearwater when you spaced out."
"He had a heart attack." June explains quickly.
"Oh my god," Bella chokes out. "Is he—"
"He's dead." June shakes her head.
Harry's dead. Another one of Charlie's friends were gone. In such a short time span. Not even a year had gone by. Harry was dead. The visions that Leah unconsciously gave to them have a clear picture of what happened: Leah was already angry and when Sue questioned her about her mood swings, Leah snapped. She phased right in the middle of the living room, destroying a couch with her claws. It was chaos from there on out, Harry clutched his chest from the shock and Sue cried out and June had to blink again to realize something she didn't notice before ... Seth. A smaller wolf phased along with her. It was her brother, it was little Seth Clearwater.
June's eyes start watering again.
"We gotta go." Jacob gestures to Bella. "You'll freeze."
"June—" Bella starts.
"I'm not fine, but I'll be better if you go." June says.
Bella nods softly, hugging June tightly before wishing her luck and rushing to follow Jacob towards her truck. Jacob looks back at her, and she smiles weakly, then she starts off into the way of the woods at the end of the beach. June can't help the rushing of blood that she feels in her face. Her fingertips are pounding and her bones feel like steel trying to bend with each step.
She had wolves to find.
•—•—•—•
JUNE FELT LIKE SHE HAD BEEN WALKING FOR miles and miles more when she finally decided to open the connection again. Suddenly, she stumbled upon the mossy land that was familiar for her. June could smell the dewy mist that fell from the canopy of the forest, the light drizzle poured down and dampened her mess of brownish-blond hair; the rain is welcomed because her body is on fire from the magic she used to bring Bella back from limbo. June wills herself to keep walking, the static of the connection she tries to open still ringing in her ears. That's when it finally opens — her mind is clear and th pounding of her head isn't as loud as it was before.
JUNE SWAN? IS THAT HER?
It's a smaller wolf, the one she saw along side Leah's silvery fur. Seth.
"Seth?" June spoke so softly, she wondered if she spoke at all.
The boy, the wolf, whimpered in a short response. He's in pain, June figured. Sue had said that it was worse for Jacob and the boys when they first phased because she wasn't there to take away the pain that came from such a drastic change. Bones rearranged and skin thickened and teeth elongated.
"Seth, it's me June." She told him with confirmation. "I'm here to help you... I can help."
ILL HURT HER... WHAT AM I —
"You won't hurt me," June assures, offering that sweet smile of hers. The wolf blinks in surprise at her clear thought interception. "You can't hurt me, Seth. I promise."
The wolf thinks of nothing but whine, head lowered as he trots closer to June's outstretched hand. She hears IT HURTS, IT BURNS, and knows that the transformation is probably one of the most painful things about turning into a shape shifter. June nods, her smile endearing and her eyes teary as she feels the soft fur of Seth Clearwater underneath her fingertips. She wraps her arms around the small yet massive wolf and pours her power out. IT HURTS—
"Breathe," June says lowly to the wolf who shivers in her hold, not from the cold but from the excruciating pain he's going through. "Breathe and concentrate. Think of your mother, think of Leah, of anything that can hold you to the ground. Imagine your human form. Breathe, Seth. It's gonna be alright."
The wolf whines again and June can't help but cry, thinking of how broken this family must be. While everyone was getting ready to have Harry buried, June was too busy trying to keep these wolves from getting their mind in a feral place of which they couldn't return. June already saw bruises running up her arms as she kept pouring her power out and calming Seth who, before her eyes, transformed into a massive wolf into a scared boy shivering in her arms. She looked down at him and held him closer.
"Seth, you're fine. I'm gonna take care of you. You're okay." June assured, holding him. She puts her hand in his forehead and his pain subsides and his eye grow heavy until he's asleep. She whispers a prayer to the spirits to watch over him until she finds his sister.
She rips the cardigan she has on off of her shoulders and sets it over him. June turns and let's put a gasp at what she sees in front of her — a larger silvery wolf, beautiful in color, beautiful period, sits on its haunches staring right at her. June knows immediately.
"Leah."
The wolf acknowledges her. And stands shakily. She's in more pain than she'll let on. June has tears in her eyes by now, she's crying and she doesn't even really know why. Maybe it's because all this girl in front of her has ever been through is pain. Pain from Sam. Pain from Emily. Pain front June herself. Pain from her father now ... Leah Clearwater is the epitome of pushing through pain but looking at her now, you'd never think a girl has let something as trivial as pain get her down. A girl has become a wolf. Sylvia Plath is looking down June and most likely frowning at her attempt of poetry.
"Seth's fine," June says almost immediately. She knows Leah must be worried. She steps aside and shows the she wolf the sleeping boy on the forest floor. "He's gonna be okay. I helped him."
The She wolf whines, Leah is still in pain.
"You're gonna be okay too, let me help—" June says and begins to take a step forward but Leah bares her teeth. June stiffens. She stays put. A hand is outstretched. "Let me help you." Leah doesn't lower her guard. June feels tears well in her eyes. "Leah," She says slowly. "I know you have no reason to phase back ... I know you'd rather run away ... I know how you feel. No, actually. I can't possibly know. But I know I can help you. I will, I promise. Please let me help you." The wolf doesn't look away from her. "I know you're scared, it's okay, the voices won't stop yelling but it's just the pack through the bond. I know you're burning all over, I know you feel like you're floating ... It's a scary feeling but it doesn't have to be. You're still you, Leah, you're still my best friend—"
The wolf bares her teeth again. June understands. "I don't have the right to call you that, I know that too. Not after I lied to you. But I didn't have a choice, you have to believe me." June pleads. "There's so much more to it than you think and if you let me, I can tell you everything. There isn't anything you can't know. I'll tell you. I'll explain. I'll never lie to you again."
The wolf keeps growling. After a moment more of baring her teeth and staring at the watery eyes of the young girl in a sundress before her, the she wolf relaxes, showing the pain she's in. June can breathe again as she trots closer, towards June's outstretched hand. June let's out a shaky sob not only from the emotion of the situation, but because her whole body is in pain. Helping Seth had caused a new sprout of bruises to crop her lower back. She feels them standing before the massive wolf before her. June pulls through. I have to help Leah . She keeps her hand out until she feels Leah's fur on her fingertips and the familiar surge of power flows from her like molten gold and out onto this shape shifter. A howl is let out from Leah as she shifts back from wolf to human. June catches Leah's naked and shivering body as she crumpled, June still healing the girl and holding onto her.
"June, my dad, he's gone, my dad, June—" Leah sobs immediately as she tucks into June's arms.
"I know, I know," June sobs back. "I'm so sorry, Lee, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I can't so this, I can't June—"
June holds her crying best friend. She holds her. She holds her until she can feel her head spinning from the amount of power she's using to calm Leah down, to take away Leah's pain. Leah cries and cries, June allows her to, this girl deserves to cry. She might not ever do it for a while, her mind and body is no longer her own. She's apart of a pack, a link that can't be broken. It'll be a long while, if ever, that Leah Clearwater will ever be herself. June swears to help her get there. She wraps her arms around her tighter, whispering Quileute prayers and incantations. Leah sobs until June's power puts her in a peaceful and painless slumber as the one her younger brother is in. June wishes she can forget the obvious the pain, she's wishes she can overlook the consequences of what Leah phasing truly means for everyone. Soon, this secret of the tribe that June's fought tooth and nail to keep won't be so much of a secret anymore. Star knows. Leah knows. Bella knows. Lyanna might know soon enough ... everything was unraveling and it scared June more than the fact of losing Harry Clearwater.
•—•—•—•
JUNE DECIDED THAT SHE HATES FUNERALS. She hopes hers will be a little more festive than this dreary rainy day that holds the memorial service for Harry Clearwater. She hopes they leave her coffin closed, she doesn't want people to see her after she takes her last breath. June doesn't anything dies pretty. No matter how much they are. It's the next day after Seth and Leah's surprise transformation. Daphne Uley is attending to the guests while Charlie talks to the other tribe men, melancholic as ever. Little Willie is in Iris's arms, eating some mashed apples that Bella is feeding him. Seth is on the couch in his mothers arms, sullen and silent. Leah is up and about, never sitting down for too long. Leah's body is only in human form because of June's constant healing touch. June's like Leah's personal guard, following her around to make sure no one says the wrong thing and make everyone in the tribe witness Leah turning into a she wolf in the living room of the Clearwater's home.
For that fact, June had to wear a long sleeve black dress, it's lace and reaches her ankles too, because the bruises have gotten that bad that she almost cried when Jacob hugged her in the morning after she got ready. She's sipping on watered punch when she sees the front door open and more guests appear — her boyfriend is handsome as ever in an all black attire she picked out and ironed for him in the morning. Jacob fusses with his cuffs as he walks in. He immediately apologizes for the loss to Sue Clearwater, and then hugs Seth tightly, welcoming his new brother, and solemn for welcoming him at all. The weight of the welcome bears heavy. Jacob makes his way to her.
June instinctively laces her fingers with his. "Did you dad use the dress shirt I ironed him?" June asks casually trying to keep her mind off topic.
Jacob, sensing her unease, smiles. "He did. Thanks for that," He kisses her. "You take good care of us."
"You'd be hopeless without me," June jests, her heart dropping at the realization of her own words.
"I would," Jacob replies and her heart sinks more.
She sucks a breath in, "I haven't seen Sam ..." She says trailing off. She gives Jacob a look.
He sighs, "He didn't think it was a good time to come yet." Jacob tells her. "The others will be here soon, I think Emily is coming, too."
June purses her lips. "That's the last person she needs to see."
"Babe—"
"I'm serious." June says.
"Emily's nice, I thought you liked her?"
"This has nothing to do with being nice," June says. "I know it isn't Emily's fault ... nothing is. But I'm tired of thr pack favoring Emily just because she can make a mean muffin and she's everyone's mom friend okay? I can make muffins, too. I bet Leah could. Star's cupcakes are fucking legendary. But we're too independent that all your tiny egos get wounded when we dont need you for something."
Jacob raises a brow at her rant, "I'm sure you can make a mean muffin, babe. By the way, have you eaten anything?"
June grumbles, "I can! And no."
He nods, a tiny smile on his lips. "I'll order some burgers for us and pick them up when we leave."
"Ugh, you're my angel," June kisses his jaw.
He smiles. "So, whats your deal about Emily now?"
June sighs, "Just because Leah knows about Sam imprinting on Emily, doesn't make it hurt any less. It hurts even more I'll bet."
"How?"
"How?" June laughs incredulously, angry all of a sudden. "Uh? Let me spell it out, handsome: her fiancé turned into a wolf and imprinted on her cousin because of some freakish spirit magic. Then, freakish spirit magic fucks her over again but this time, it turns her into a wolf too and her little brother and gives her dad a heart attack from the surprise. Clear?"
"Crystal," Jacob says flatly.
"I'm sorry," She sighs. "I'm being a mega bitch. Sorry."
"It's okay," Jacob says lowly. He leans in and whispers, "You're hot when you're mad."
"Cool it, Don Juan, we're at a memorial service," June frowns.
Jacob relents.
The door opens again and June's feathers are ruffled when she sees Emily Young show her face. Jacob puts his arm around June's waist and pulls her to him as she tries to go towards Leah, who's sitting on a stool and looking out the window with a blank expression. Leah turns by chance and sees Emily going her way; she turns to Juniper and sees her struggling in her boyfriends hold. Leah gives her a tiny nod. June relaxes. Emily and Leah begin to talk as soon as Emily wraps her arms around Leah and June settles.
Bella suddenly comes up, Willie in her arms. "Hey, you ready?" She asks softly. "Daphne forgot the diaper bag at home and this little one is in a serious need of a diaper changer."
Jacob holds his nose. "Tell me about it," He chuckles.
June smiles at a cooing Willie. She extends her arms out to hold him. "Come here, my little pooper." She giggles as Willie eagerly goes into her arms. June turns to Jacob. "I'm gonna head home with Bella, could you stay here for a while longer and then pick up the food and come to my place?"
Daphne comes up, "Oh, before you leave," She says to her daughter before she begins walking off to go attend to more guests. "Buy Willie some diapers will you? Thank you, love you!"
"Bwe! Bwe!" Willie repeats.
Jacob squeezes Willie's cheeks and nods to his girlfriend. "I'll get those diapers when I'm on the way to your place."
"Ugh, I love you." June pouts.
"Love you." Jacob smiles grandly. "Drive safe. And are you staying at my house tonight? If so, bring clothes, I'm taking you for breakfast in the morning." He winks before he's off.
June watches him until he's off and smiles as she hugs Willie close to her.
Bella clears her throat, "Can we go?" She says with a smiling face.
"Shut up," June rolls her eyes.
"I didn't say anything." Bella chuckles.
a/n: the next part is the last part of book ii:)) and hello, I'm back binches :)))) me and my hella typos