Freddie
Without a word, I took her hand and shook it, just barely managing a tight-lipped smile. As I did, I could feel the gold ring round her finger- so cool to the touch, yet it burned my hand. I was totally unprepared for this. It never rains but it pours, the saying goes. Fuck, but wasn't I living that out to a T lately.
Roxanne Brazzi. It was she.
And all I could think were the words: You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me.
She blinked when I still didn't say anything. "That is your name, isn't it? Richard? That's what Julia told me."
I nodded quickly, but kept my lips thoroughly sealed.
"Oh, good!" she smiled, sizing me up -and a little too carefully at that, I thought. "Thought maybe I misheard her there. She seems so distracted lately. Julia's my cousin, by the way, that's how we even- yeah."
"Mm," I shrugged. I was afraid to speak, to so much as open my mouth- for if my voice didn't give me away, my teeth would. Thank God, I'd been smart enough to do away with my moustache; that was yet another reason to be grateful for Mr. Phantom.
She stood there waiting for an uncomfortable bit of time, till finally she cleared her throat. "So-is Danny home? You know, uh- the little boy? With glasses?" Roxie drew imaginary circles around her eyes with her finger.
"Mm-hm," I nodded, then pointed downstairs. Thankfully, she understood.
"Great!" Hoisting her rather large purse further up her shoulder, Roxie tossed me one more curious glance, then moved toward the staircase, calling Danny's name.
After a pause, Danny came stomping upstairs. "Konnichiwa, Roxie!" he smiled, giving her a polite little hug. "You got it done?"
"I got it done." She gestured toward the front door. "It's out in my car."
"Aww. You came in your car?"
"Come on, Danny. You know things don't hang up near as nice on the bike."
Danny turned to me. "She rides a motorcycle. It's really cool."
I felt ridiculous, not talking like I knew I ought to, but again I merely nodded, holding the smile.
Roxie frowned. Apparently she couldn't stand it any longer. "Doesn't your friend here talk, Danny?"
"Sure he does!" the boy said brightly.
"I mean, does he speak English?"
"Yeah," Danny replied. "He says lots of stuff. Japanese, too, but mostly English." Suddenly a clever grin curved his mouth as he folded his arms with pride. "Oh- and I'll bet you'll never guess who he is, either!"
My smile froze.
Danny. My dear boy. Sweet innocent Mr. Phantom. What the hell are you doing?
"Who he is?" Roxie looked confused.
"Uh-huh," he nodded knowingly. "Here's a hint: he sings."
A slow smile started making its way across her lips. "He does?" She looked back at me. "I mean- you do?"
Gone was my poker face. I could feel my eyes pop wide and the blood leave my cheeks. Ah, the poor boy. He was being childish and taunting- so in other words, he was acting like me. And he clearly didn't know how much danger he was putting me in at present.
"He sings great!" Danny kept gushing. "Can you guess who is?"
"I- thought his name was Richard. Richard Dumont, right?"
"No, no, no! That's the wrong one. His real name i-"
"YES."
The word leapt from my throat automatically. Both Danny and Roxie jumped and turned to me, startled. After a few seconds, I cleared my throat.
"Yes, what?" Roxie asked meekly.
I hadn't much time. Quickly I thought back to what Julia had done to mask her voice at the party, make sure I didn't recognize her. She had put on some kind of ridiculous accent, hadn't she? Russian or something? Yes. Now granted, I was about as good as accents and impressions as Julia was at lying: I was crap. But did it really matter? Roxie hadn't been the most intuitive even back in '82 (It was 1982, wasn't it?) and with as much time I had on my side, I could do whatever I wanted and still maintain my anonymity as far as she was concerned.
Without warning this string of clear, collected words shot through my mind so fast I hardly even realized what was going on: I'll just go for it. My voice is my voice. My teeth are my teeth. I can't help those, but I can work around them. And whatever accent pops out now, however absurd, I'll stick to it until this woman goes away. She won't be here the whole time. Go for it. Right. One two three, GO.
And so, at last, I explained, in a round, deep, clipped diction that at first I didn't even recognize, "Richard Dubroc... that's my name."
Danny whirled, face contorted in disbelief. "Wha-"
I held up my finger, and he was silent. I continued in what I suppose was intended to be somewhat of an American accent, "Sorry for not, ah... immediately jumping to a greeting, I - didn't know we would be entertaining, aha- such charming company tonight."
Roxie giggled. "Oh, no, I'm not staying for dinner, I just came to drop off Danny's costume."
"Costume?"
"For the Christmas program this Sunday," she explained.
Danny nodded. "I'm a shepherd."
"It's still in the car, I'll go get it."
I offered to help, but Roxie insisted that she could go bring it in herself. Danny stayed right where he was, lips tight, as though he was trying his very hardest not to simply explode with laughter.
As soon as Roxie stepped outside again, I turned to Danny and asked him in my normal accent, "What?"
He utterly lost it. The front room filled with his sweet blithe laughter. I let myself join in, relieved my cover hadn't blown yet. I really couldn't blame him, to be honest; I can't mimick an American accent for nuts, or any other accent for that matter. I'm far too English for that.
"What's so funny?" I smiled.
"What are you talking like that for?" he managed.
"Talking like what?"
"You sounded so weird a minute ago!"
"I had to- and will have to, as long as I'm around our dear Roxie."
"But why?"
"Never mind why. It's complicated. And look," I added, "There's a reason they gave me that fake name, it's so people wouldn't recognize me and gum up the works even more."
"Yeah, but she's Cousin Roxie!"
"Which is exactly the reason I need you not to tell her or so much as hint at who I really am."
"I don't get it."
I took a deep breath, and decided to be perfectly honest with the boy. "I've met her before, a long time ago."
"Seriously? Cousin Roxie?" Danny was getting even more excited. "You met her AND Mom? Wow! But then why-"
"Like I said, Danny, it's extremely complicated. So what I-"
"Was it like at the same time?"
"No. Just listen to me. I need y-"
"Then who was first? Mom, then Roxie, or the other way arou-"
"That's not important right now, Danny!" I shouted. Before I could go on, however, we heard the car door slam. I peered through the window, saw Roxie walking back toward the front steps with some kind of long brown garment draped across her arms. We were running out of time.
With a sigh, I pulled myself back together, and said quickly, "I don't mean to snap, I just- Look, I need you to promise me that, er, at this sort of point in time, you won't tell Roxie my real name is Freddie Mercury, and you won't tell your mother that I've met Roxie before. Please?"
Danny looked at me, and smiled. "I will promise, but first..." He trailed off, another laughing fit making its way up.
"First, what?"
He giggled. "Say 'Mr. Anderson'."
I blinked. "Okay. Mr. Anderson."
"No, no. Do the Agent Smith thing and say it."
"What? Agent Sm- Danny, whatever are you on ab-"
"The accent! That voice you were doing! Say it like that!"
"I will not."
That little nipper lifted his chin and planted his feet into the floor, standing as tall he could. "Then I don't promise."
"Why, you arse-" I began, when the front door rattled. Danny marched nimbly to the front door to help his cousin. Just before he did, however, he turned to me and grinned this frightfully impish grin- and I wondered if this was karma for my attitude that afternoon; Julia was a firm enough believer in it, perhaps she had something there after all.
"Danny stop, fine, okay," I conceded, then in that horrible, exaggerated accent, I grumbled, "Mr. Anderson."
My God, I've been out-wiled by a fourth grader. Could I possibly sink any lower?
He smiled triumphantly. "I promise."
And with that, and one more little laugh, he threw open the door, took the costume from Roxie, and thanked her as profoundly as any nine-year-old boy could- which meant of course that he kept the "awesomes" and " amazings" at a minimum.
"Now go try it on," she told him. "Make sure you're not already too tall for it, you keep growing so fast."
Thankfully Danny made no more noise about who I was. He headed towards his room and shut the door, leaving me and Roxie all alone together. She smiled, still looking intently into my face. I turned my head to the side, tried to subtly cover my mouth. Damn my big hideous teeth. Such giveaways.
Admittedly, for a woman at sixty-odd years, Roxie was in rather good shape. I wasn't about to tackle her to the floor, you understand, but I could appreciate that she had held on to a lot of her looks. Her features were taut, almost unnaturally so, rather than sagging; her forehead didn't seem to move at all, in fact. This may seem an odd comparison, but standing there with her windblown blonde hair and loose black jumper, she vaguely reminded me of Joni Mitchell's Hejira album cover, save with a more square jaw, and more striking eyes. And it was terribly eerie, to see this woman at such an advanced age, especially since three years ago she had to have been no more than twenty-one.
But it's been at least forty-five years for her, I tried to console myself. I think. Right? Isn't that the way this works? My God. I don't even fucking know anymore.
After a beat, I asked behind my hand, "Would you, uh- care for a drink, my dear?"
"Don't mind if I do," she beamed. "She's still keeping the alcohol in that cabinet, right?"
"Yes, but I can take care of-"
"Oh, don't worry about it, Rick, I know my way round this little house," she winked. "Join me?"
"I think I will, actually," I mumbled. "I could certainly fucking use one right about now."
As we walked into the kitchen, Roxie instructed the little black menace, "Hey Modo, play my music." And the Modo began playing soft country and western type music. A chill ran down my spine as I recognized the song. I claim no attraction to this kind of music, and I hadn't heard this song in ages, but I remembered it nonetheless.
"Well, you can walk out on me to-night/ If you think that it ain't feelin' right/ But darling/ There ain't no gettin' over me."
Dezaruss, I thought to myself, inadvertently smiling, before pulling myself away from the memory. It was a little thing to recall, yes- but it's always the little rocks that fall first before the avalanche comes crashing down.
Roxie didn't say anything for a while, just listened to the music, drank her drink, and looked at me. Danny, hurry up and get dressed, would you?
After a while I couldn't take it anymore. "Is something wrong?" I blurted.
"No, not at all, I just-" She cleared her throat. "There's just something about your face, you- seem awfully familiar. I mean- it's uncanny. Have we met before? Do you know?"
I blinked slowly, tried to appear completely oblivious- a very difficult thing to do while she twiddled with that gold ruby ring on her right hand. I found that incredibly distracting, all things considered, especially when I had an accent to butcher.
"Uh- I'm - I couldn't really say. Sorry. We might have, though, once upon a time."
"Maybe- because I keep seeing you in Manhattan somewhere- have you been there lately? I used to live in Brooklyn myself."
"Not lately, but I- had a flat there some years ago. In New York City, that is, not, um- not Brooklyn."
"Okay," she sighed. "So, tell me, how do you know my kid cousin?"
"Uh," I took a large swig of Stoli before answering. "We're- I suppose you'd say we're old friends." I coughed. "Very, very old friends."
"Really," she said quietly.
"if you don't believe me, Julia will, um, be home fairly soon, and you can ask her yourself."
"No, that's what she told me, too. You guys must go way back."
"We do." Fifty years back, actually, Ms. Roxie.
"By the way," Roxie said suddenly. She looked toward the hall, then sidled up close to me. "Have you met her bae?"
"Her what?"
"Her boyfriend. Stuart Preus. Tall, blue eyes, nice teeth- not that you don't have nice te-"
"Dear, it's okay," I said, laughing. "What about him?"
"Well, what do you think of him?"
I blinked, totally uncertain of where this was going. I decided to play it safe. "He seems a decent enough sort of person. I don't know."
"So you like him?"
"I didn't say that."
Roxie laughed. "Touche," she smiled. "That makes two of us." She clinked her drink against mine in a toast, and raised it to her lips.
I frowned. "What? You're saying you don't?"
"Oh, he's probably all right," she shrugged. "Just- between you and me, I get a funny kind of vibe from him, you know?"
"Do you?" I leaned in closer. This was getting interesting. "How do you mean? What did he do?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It's nothing that he's actually done, I just have a feeling."
"Oh," I nodded, hopes dashed. Thanks, my dear, you're a big help.
"And even if he had done something, I'm not sure how I'd, you know, go about telling Julia, when I think of what that poor kid's been through."
"Roxie, how do I put this head thing on?" Danny called from his room.
"I'll show you, come on out," she replied.
But I was still stuck on the last thing she had said to me. "What do you mean?" I asked.
"About what?"
"About- What has Julia been through?"
Roxie opened her mouth, but did not answer. For here came Danny, running down the hall. I covered my mouth to hide the smile; for the moment, I was happily distracted. He was dressed in this quaint little shepherd's tunic and long robe sort of thing. A lot of brown, perhaps, but I'd venture to guess that back in those days and in that part of the world, they didn't have much to choose from as far colors were concerned.
"Oh, you look so cute!" Roxie squealed, while Danny's cheeks flushed and his eyes rolled. "Come here, I'll fix the part on top."
He tossed an embarrassed look my way. "Nah, it's okay, this is fine."
"I need to see if it works! Come on, Mini-Prince, I spent a week and a half on this thing, and the show is Sunday. I'm not redoing everything at the last minute, even if you are the star of the show." She winked at Danny, who still kept giving me funny looks.
At last I got the message. "Excuse me, I'll, um, be downstairs, if you need me. Uh- I think I ought to bring in Fry."
Leaving Danny and Roxie to their own devices, I went downstairs, mind awhirl.It was true, the dog was barking outside the garden door, so I let the little fellow in. At once, he jumped up against my legs; no matter how many times I had tried to make clear to Fry that I wasn't anything less than devoted to my cats, he still didn't seem to get the message.
"What do you want, you mongrel you," I murmured. "Have you eaten supper yet? Is that it? You're hungry?" I scratched a little behind his ears, and he licked my hand in return.
Just outside the wall I heard the garage door close. Two seconds later, the garage entrance rattled, and an all-too-familiar voice seeped in through the cracks. Despite this afternoon, I couldn't help smiling. I hurried to the door to see if I could do anything to help.
Before I reached it, however, the door popped open, and in stepped Julia, with her purse slung across her shoulder, Chinese food in one hand, and Magic Mirror in the other as she elbowed the door closed, shutting out the bitter cold. Julia hadn't yet seen me, her eyes were on the floor.
"...Won't make things any easier," she was murmuring into the device. With a sigh, she nodded. "I know, Stu, I know- and frankly, I think that would almost make him happier at this point. I'll have to ask first, though, see where he's at. I don't want to just-"
Then Julia looked up, saw me standing there, and swallowed.
"Speak of the devil," she whispered. "Uh- Stu, let me call you back, okay? - Yes.- Honey, don't worry, there won't be any of that, I can't believe I have to keep sayi- Okay. Thank you. - Love you, too. - Yes, I'll let you know asap. Good night."
Julia hung up the phone and tossed it carelessly onto the sofa. Then she looked at me and blinked. There were things I knew I should have been saying, the most important being "I'm sorry for this afternoon," but I remained silent.
And without warning, the words poured out of her: "Sorry I'm late, there was this one girl who came in at four, who decided she all of a sudden needed to rag on her home life to someone, kept me there for an hour and a half, didn't want to hear what I had to say to help her, she just rambled- and traffic was hell, and there was a line at the Chinese place, and traffic was hell again, and it's really fucking cold outside, so I am just telling you in advance as a public service announcement, don't mess with me or I swear I will break your nose."
I blinked, fighting valiantly a smile. It still existed. Obscured, perhaps, kept hidden and simmering but ever-present, sliding past the calm, composed veneer and exploding to life when it became too much to bear. Not that I thought it was at all funny that she had had such a rough day, but oh, how well I knew that slow-burn temper.
But I kept it together just the same. "I don't intend to, darling," I murmured. "I know better than that."
Julia nodded, passing her free hand over her eyes. The poor creature, she looked exhausted. Now was as good a time as any. I held out my hands to her.
She cocked her head, then assumed- and quite incorrectly. "Oh, right, sorry, here, I bet you're starved." And she placed the food into my open hands. "You guys can go ahead and get started if you want, I'll be right back. Do you know whether Fry's been fed? Never mind, I'll ask Danny."
With a sigh, I set the takeaway down on the coffee table and followed close behind her. She had her hand on the banister when I, knowing I might well be putting my own life in extreme peril, tapped her on the shoulder.
She turned.
"Wrong again, my dear," I whispered.
"What?"
I wasted no time. I threw my arms around her and held her tightly against me. Her body stiffened, perhaps in surprise, but I didn't let go. All I knew was, this worked- and I had something to say to her anyway. And as the seconds passed, I felt her limbs relax. Much to my surprise, she even rested her head against my shoulder, drawing a heavy sigh before pushing away from me. Julia looked up at me, then, as if confused.
"I'm just sorry you had such a bad day, dear," I softly explained. "And- I'm twice as sorry that part of the reason for it was me- if perhaps even the main reason itself."
She looked me over, and nodded. "I know."
"Then," I ventured as gently as I could, "does that mean you're- not going to break my nose?"
Julia met my gaze straight on. "I guess not," she sighed, with an unexpected smile. "Not tonight, anyway."
"Wonderful. And also- just a slight request here, if you're going to bust my face up at all, I'd prefer you stick to the mouth; even if you did knock out a tooth, I'd still have three too many."
"I'll bust up whatever I want to bust up, thank you very much," she informed me. "You know, it's a damn good thing your eyes are so dark."
I'm fairly certain I had a really fantastic comeback for that, but I can't remember it. For soft footsteps crept down the stair, followed quickly by Roxie's sheepish "Oh- am I interrupting something?"
Julia looked up, eyes wide. "Roxie!" she cried, pushing away from me. "I thought I saw your car out front. What a surprise!"
"Was it really?"
"Yeah!"
Roxie blinked. "I mean, didn't I call you earlier this afternoon? Maybe you forgot, I told you I was bringing the costume by- which, I might add, looks great on him."
"Oh." Julia shook her head as if to clear out a little extra dust. "Oh- is that what you meant! Oh, Rox, I'm so sorry, otherwise I would have planned a little better as far as dinner went."
"I wasn't going to stay, hon, I just wanted to - you know, lay eyes on Danny in his shepherd get-up - as well as other things." When she thought I wasn't looking, she gave Julia a nice, obvious wink. "Either way, I'm quite satisfied- and I really should be heading on home."
Both Julia and I saw Roxie to the door, both the ladies doing most of the talking. I didn't want to do that horrible accent - the "Agent Smith," whatever Danny had meant by that- around Julia, unless I absolutely had to.
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dubroc," Roxie crooned softly. "Hope to see you again real soon."
I bowed my head a little while Julia looked on, watching me shake Roxie's ringed hand. That ring, that ruby ring. Clearly Roxie had kept her promise, certainly as far as Julia was concerned. She was totally oblivious.
Which was very likely why she laughed into her hand when Roxie looked up and saw the mistletoe I had pinned directly over her head.
"Oops. Look there, Rick," she giggled. "Are you going to do the honors- or shall I?"
Danny, who had already shed his shepherd attire, grimaced and walked out of the front room. And personally, I wanted to do the very same. But I had a reputation to uphold. So, with thoroughly feigned ardor, I leaned over and kissed fair Roxie's impossibly smooth cheek and blew her a rakish kiss as she made her way down the steps.
But to myself I was replaying Roxie's words over in my head. "When I think of what that poor kid's been through," she had said- which confused me. Julia seemed to have her life in just the order she had laid out to me all those years ago, everything set up in as neat and orderly a fashion as one could ask for. There didn't seem to be anything wrong on the surface of Julia's world.
Well, why should that be a surprise, I asked myself. After all, on the surface, mine is no different.
And now, I wondered. What was it had gone on over the last ten years? Julia no doubt knew exactly what I had been up to, but what of her? And why the fuck had I suddenly started caring this afternoon? No matter. So many questions were stirring in my head now, mingling with music old and new- questions that would simply have to be answered.
Julia wasn't the only one round here who could obsess, after all.
Sal here.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That's all I want to say. Peace out. XD