12/7/19: reposting this for the fun of it for all you readers (and non-readers!) who want to visit it again.
***
Fact #1: The Village was intended to be mainly a romance. The extra plot of Mordred and the black house did not exist.
Fact #2: Mordred's scenes are the easiest to write.
Fact #3: Scenes with Marcus and Fiona are the hardest to get started on. I procrastinate on them more than anything, but once I start them they usually flow pretty well.
Fact #4: The most revised chapter in this book is Chapter 3. Eventually, the section that was giving me so much grief I cut out altogether. It was the scene alluded to in Chapter 5, where Marianne Earle came to visit the Kenhelms. In the earlier versions Kenneth (still her fiancé) accompanied her. It accomplished quite a few things: provided valuable insight into both their characters, displayed the tension between the Kenhelms and other villagers, and hinted at Fenris' difficulties in adjusting to the scar. However, I could never write it to my satisfaction, and finally I trashed it because the rest of the book was doing a good job showing all of those things.
Fact #5: The hardest and yet the most important part of this book was introducing all the characters and manifesting them in a memorable and relatable way. Every character was showcased for a reason; they will come up again. The book is called The Village for a reason. In a sense, it lays the ground for the fourth and fifth books, where appearances of certain characters will be far more important if you already have acquaintance with them.
Two people have said things that made me very happy, and convinced me that I have met my goal.
From Dante_Greywolf : "I really understand why you named this story 'The Village'. It's a perfect fit. We really get to know the people who live here and the different relations between them. Simple, yet there wouldn't be a better title."
And from Illeandir : "The characters make it so interesting! Believe me, if it weren't for your amazing and wonderful characters, it would be not half as fun."
Fact #6: We decided a long time ago that Mordred has a tenor voice in singing. My father has a beautiful tenor voice, and that's just another fact that makes me love Mordred so much, lol. Fenris has a somewhat lower voice than Mordred's, in the region of upper baritone. Laufeia is an ordinary mezzo-soprano.
Fact #7: I have the teensiest, tiniest, ultra-platonic, mostly-joke crush on Mordred. I don't know why exactly, except that he is so incredibly developed that he may surpass any of my other characters, and I've spent so much time writing and delving into his dear character. And, I mean, in my opinion you can hardly love Mordred too much.
Fact #8: The foreman originally never played such a recurring role in the story. The only reference to him was in Mordred recounting a day at work to Laufeia, and he was not intended to show up again.
Fact #9: Braegon used to have two sisters. The other one was named Parthenia(which name probably would have been changed if she had stayed), but she didn't do anything useful at all, although I did like her sisterly relationship with Mirda. Also, I didn't like that there were two families in Ceristen who had two girls and two boys. *shrugs* Hey, I don't know why it was such a big deal to me, but it was...
Fact #10: Kenneth and Marianne at first didn't get married until a year after Book 4. I changed this for plot purposes that have to do with things I'm not going to tell you yet.
***
Now, just so you can see some of the hilarious differences in plot and writing style, I am going to gift you here with an excerpt from the very first draft of The Village. This was written when I was just fourteen.
Heads-up going in: Braegon's name in this draft is Benevuto. His sister Parthenia will get a mention as well. There are also several characters that do not exist any more...
***
Chapter I
Fiona Sedgley was lonely. She sat in a corner, gazing wistfully out at all the laughing, dancing couples, the girls clustered together giggling and the young men leaning against the wall, talking earnestly. She hadn't expected that Bardrick, with his full-time police job that he had recently acquired, would have been able to come to the school-house party, but Marcus had promised to be there...and he hadn't come.
She had really been lonely for the past five days, ever since they had moved into Ceristen, she admitted to herself. It wasn't as though she missed the rest of her family; she almost smiled at the thought of missing Scorpio, a chip off the old block as well as following in his father's (illegal) footsteps. Or good Brad. Too good Brad. And the journey to Orden – that had been tense, exciting; and dangerous most of the time. But that was over now; she was in Orden, living with Marcus, and Bardrick was less than two miles away, and it was nice to be with her brothers...but they had to work so much...so while they were gone all day, what was she to do other than clean the house for the fiftieth time? If only she knew just one person here – a girl or a boy – she didn't care. Just one friend...but she didn't. And now she was at this party, where the only person she had expected to know there hadn't showed up... Her thoughts having come full circle, Fiona sighed, smoothed her skirt, and stared out again at the dancing couples.
*
Fred leaned against the wall with a deep sigh of contentment. Already February, if you thought about it one way; on the other hand, was it only a month and a half ago that he had come to Ceristen? No matter that he had spent his first twenty-one years in Keelover. Orden was his country – he would not leave it for the world. Not that he wanted the world, he snorted to himself. For now, he had a steady job building the Ceristen library; and come spring, he'd buy some livestock, plant his acres, and settle down like any other farmer in these parts.
Someone was coming out of the midst of whirling dancers; Benevuto King threw himself down on a nearby chair, laughing. "I tell you, Fred, my sister's not one to lag behind in dancing!"
"Which one?" Fred asked, grinning back.
Benevuto rolled his eyes. "Merida, of course. Parthenia's far more decorous about it. I think I'll be asking her for a nice quiet waltz later – that is, if I ever get my breath back!"
They laughed again together; then Benevuto was hailed from another corner, and Fred was left by himself once more. He moved off to the other end of the room, looking for an open conversation, and was headed towards a large, chattering group when he noticed the girl sitting across the room. She was pretty, was his first thought. He had always felt slightly annoyed with the usual ideal of golden haired, blue eyed beauty, but perhaps there was something in it after all; in any case, this young lady's eyes were not the preferred summer sky. In fact, from all the way across the room he was not quite certain whether they were blue or black.
She looked lonely, was his second thought. And then he realized: she must be Bardrick Sedgley's younger sister. Bardrick had talked to him yesterday; twenty-three he was, the oldest in his family, and he had come to Orden with two of his younger siblings, a sister and a brother. Seventeen and sixteen, if he remembered correctly. And not moved into Ceristen a week yet – no wonder she looked lonely!
Making up his mind immediately, Fred picked his way through the swirls of people to the other side of the room.
*
Fiona glanced up. There was someone coming across – to her? It was his eyes that held her attention. They were a deep but intense brown; though contented, they seemed to hold a seriousness – perhaps sadness. Yes, he was coming up to her. Feeling ill at ease, she looked away.
"You're Fiona Sedgley – aren't you?"
She nodded and smiled a little, not wanting to be rude. He smiled back, and sat down beside her.
"My name is Fred Thorn; I was talking to your brother Bardrick yesterday. I – well, truth be told, I thought you looked lonely, so I thought I'd come keep you company a bit – maybe introduce you to a few other people around here."
Fiona scarcely could believe that someone had actually noticed her at last. Her face broke into another smile, this time genuine. "Thank you – truly I've been feeling dreadfully alone tonight. My brother was supposed to be here, but I don't know where he is – "
For some reason this was funny, and as the two of them laughed Fiona felt the dark, gloomy cloud over her spirits fade away completely.
" – I don't know anyone else here, of course," Fiona continued. "And I feel like it would be so – so forward – to intrude on a conversation with people I don't know."
Fred regarded her with grave amusement. "That makes sense," he agreed, the corners of his mouth twitching. "And we'll have to change that.
"Look – " he gestured outwards. "Do you see the dark-haired girl there, with the green eyes and the green engagement ring?"
Fiona followed his pointing finger. "The one with long lashes?"
"Precisely. That's Samantha Earle. She's standing beside her fiancé, Ludicrous Ogre. They – "
But Fiona interrupted him. "Who Ogre?"
Fred looked startled at first; and then laughed, slightly embarrassed. "No-one here ever thinks of it anymore, I guess," he explained ruefully. "I expect his parents thought themselves clever. Ludicrous may be a perfect gentleman in spite of his name, but George Ogre – that is, his father – is a good bit less than that: the police suspect him of dealing in illegal goods.
"I'm glad I'm not in that family – my father was bad enough at the naming business."
Fiona looked quizzically at him.
"I never liked the name Fred," he explained to her. "But my middle name makes it worse. It's Jed. Fred Jed Thorn."
"Look who's being mournful now," Fiona teased.
"Of course, you don't know Ludicrous' middle name either," Fred continued. "It's Odorous."
Fiona stared at him, and wiggled a finger in her ear. "You're...joking, of course," she said finally, without much conviction.
"I am not," Fred contradicted. "Look on the bright side: they could have always picked it for his first name."
Fiona shuddered. "I do not want to think about it!"
Looking up at Fred then, she saw his jaw tighten. Hard.
She wondered if she had – somehow – said something wrong. Watching his gaze, however, she saw that he was definitely looking over at the doorway; in which was standing a young man. His black hair was longer than Fred's or Marcus', cut more along the lines of her older brother Bardrick's. He had just the suggestion of a beard and moustache around his mouth. His black eyes, roving over the various people, stopped at last at Fred.
"I was hoping he wouldn't be here," Fred muttered in a voice almost too low for Fiona to hear. He turned his head slightly, and caught her staring. "That's Arwinar Stafford," he explained, sounding suddenly tired, Fiona thought. "He and I – I don't know what he has against me – but he's coming over this way. You'll see."
Arwinar Stafford approached with the barest hint of a smirk on his face. His voice, when he spoke, insinuated something; just what, Fiona did not know.
"Hello... Goody-goody. Who's your girlfriend?"
Fred stared back at him evenly. "She is not my girlfriend in the sense you put it. She is new here; I'm keeping her company."
"Oh, I believe you... Goody-goody. Goody-goody is too good to lie to anybody. Well, I'd lie to anybody if I felt like it. I'd murder if I felt like it. Of course Goody-goody would never feel like murdering anyone anyway."
He turned and began walking lazily away.
Fred watched him go. "He would, too," he murmured quietly. "If he thought it would prove that he was worse than me."
Fiona let out a long, slow breath, feeling both relieved and angry. "Why?" she sputtered. "Why, why, why does do that? And how could you just sit there and – and take it like that?"
"Nobody knows why he acts the way he does," replied Fred, staring out into space. "They say he started after I came here. I am – good, and he is not. That's his whole point, as far as I or anyone else can tell. He does things on purpose, like kicking children or stepping in gardens. And then he says he's not sorry."
He shook himself and looked down. "I'd rather – not talk about it."
They sat in understanding silence for a time. Then Fred got up and stretched.
"I'm hungry," he announced. "I also have from reliable sources that there are supposed to be refreshments served in the other room." He held out his hand to Fiona. "Shall we go see?"
When next they seated themselves, holding delectable if not very nourishing food, they heard a call.
"Fred!"
Fred glanced over toward Fiona. "I've never seen those two before," he said in an undertone as Benvuto King came up with two other young men. Both were dark haired, with wide-set grey eyes; but one of them, clearly the elder, had a more stubborn set to his jaw, and was a good four inches taller. His eyes held a confident, alert look; he was, one instinctively felt, a man not to be trifled with.
"Fred – ah, there you are," Benevuto continued. "About time you showed yourself; I was looking for you all over. Where have you been all evening?"
Fred and Fiona exchanged looks.
Without waiting for a reply, Benevuto continued. "These two are Mordred and Fenris Kenhelm – they moved into Ceristen only yesterday. They'll be living with one sister, Laufeia – another sister, don't ask me her name, is joining that singing place in town, the Siren House – and the last sister I can't even remember where she is."
"Gladys," Mordred and Fenris answered in unison. "She isn't in Orden, wherever she is," Mordred went on. "We don't know and we don't want to know."
"And concerning their brothers," Benevuto continued, gesturing helplessly, "my mind has gone blank completely because they have too many. So forget that.
"Now – " he grinned wickedly. "This is how you tell them apart. Not only is Mordred older, he is also ten feet taller."
Mordred protested.
"Amusing," muttered Fred in a voice which indicated that he did not think it so very amusing.
"And," Benevuto persisted, "he has a bruise on his arm, if any of you cared to look."
"No thank you," said Fiona coldly. "How did he get that?"
Mordred assumed a very gloomy expression. "Circumstances compelled me to accept the challenge of my own flesh and blood."
Fenris gave his brother a "shut up" look. "What he means is that our older brother Phineas, who has followed us to Orden whether we wanted it or not, has a particular grudge against Mordred and found a chance to fight him about it a few days ago."
Mordred shrugged it off. "I wasn't really hurt, I tell you."
"Someday you will be," said Fenris, "and that's what I'm worried about."
*
Fiona walked up the path to the house, humming. Entering, she shrugged hurriedly out of her coat and hung it up on the new hooks Marcus had hammered up recently. Speaking of Marcus, there's still no sign of him, she thought as she opened the door to the living room.
Then she stared.
For there was Marcus – lying on the couch with a cast around his leg.
"Marcus!" she gasped.
Marcus opened one eye, and then the other. He grinned reassuringly at her. "I'll be fine, Fiona my dear. Just walking most unsuspectingly up one of those slippery drives, and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back with this leg twisted under me."
"Marcus! Does it hurt?"
"It's not exactly... painless."
Fiona rushed promptly to the kitchen for the teakettle. "And why was it that I was not informed of this?" she demanded crossly.
"Oh, I knew you'd already be on the way to your party-party-party; I wouldn't want spoil any pleasure of yours with that upsetting news. Why, it would have ruined your whole evening if it hadn't made you turn around and walk right back here."
"Thank you," replied Fiona rather icily. "In case you wanted to know, your conscientiousness was what nearly ruined my evening. Actually, I was bored stiff until someone finally noticed my neglected state."
"Who?" asked Marcus.
"It was a young man, Fred Thorn," Fiona answered absently as she lighted the stove.
There was a long silence. "Fiona," came Marcus' voice very seriously at last, "did you spend the whole evening with him?"
Fiona whirled and stared hard in his direction. "Yes," she snapped.
"The whole evening?" persisted Marcus. There was no mistaking a definite tone of pleasure.
"Yes," replied Fiona through her teeth. "The whole evening."
This time Marcus sounded like he was in danger of dissolving into laughter. "Fiona... what did he say to you?"
Fiona stalked into the room, hands on her hips. "Marcus George Sedgley, I declare you are the most maddening younger brother ever a girl had! Fred Thorn's object was nothing more than sympathy for my plight. If he had other reasons for coming my way, he certainly did not advertise them! And if the next question on your lips is anything about moonlight walks, I'll have you know that – one, there isn't a moon tonight, and two, the time we spent only in the company of each other was about ten minutes."
The kettle was whistling stridently; Fiona retreated to the kitchen.
"Ten minutes," said Marcus gravely, "is long enough for a few kisses."
Fiona nearly dropped the kettle as she lifted it off the stove. "Land sakes!" she exploded. "What do you take me for, Marcus? – a flirtatious schoolgirl?"
Entering the living room again, she grimly set down the tea in front of Marcus. "I am going to bed," she said coldly.
Marcus watched her go, taking a sip of tea. "I wonder..." he murmured thoughtfully. "I wonder what Angus will think of all this."
***
Sooooo yeah. 2014 relic.
I like reading this because 1) it's hilarious and 2) I can see echoes of the actual characters later. Fiona was shy and had a tendency towards stammering/blushing, although her temper was a bit more fiery here. Still, it flashes out these days from time to time. Fred a little bit too wishy-washy and possessing an annoying sense of humour, kind of like the old uncle in stories that nobody likes. Mordred being like, "Don't worry about me, guys, I am fiiiiiinnnee." *while dying* Marcus -- well, Marcus may be the most unchanged character. He was always a hilarious dear with a penchant for teasing.
Fenris is probably the most changed character. You caught a glimpse of it above, but he was really bad with the snappishness. Once in awhile it was like, "Hey Mordred, I love you, it's great, bro!" and then I expected everyone to believe that while he argued with his brother the rest of the day.
Also, don't ask me why I split the families up and made Bardrick live in one house and Marcus and Fiona in another. It makes no sense.
This concludes The Village. Hope you enjoyed reading! See you in The Claw!