Dear my only friend in this whole place. It has occurred to me that you need a name because I do not want to be those corny girls who say ‘dear diary’ or whatever. I think you are more worthy of being called by a name rather than diary or journal when guys can’t face the fact that they have a diary. And it’s also because I feel bad for not writing in you for two days. So today’s gonna be extra-long just for you. Now, I’m thinking of Fidelis because it means ‘faithful’ in Latin. Don’t ask me how I know because I don’t know that answer either. Now all we need is a short nickname for you ‘cause I don’t wanna call you Fidelis all the time. I’ll settle it down later but for now I have to tell you my progress after this wicked freaky dream I had. It also might lead you to the fact that this dream might be what caused me to know the Latin word for ‘faithful’.
Well let’s see, I had a freaky, but in a cool way, dream that is way too confusing for you to understand. I had a Spirit Mother, yelled an impossible command in my mind that actually happened, my body went numb. Just some really crazy stuff, but there’s something I left out that I’ll know you’ll understand for sure. Doryan was in it! And yes, it was a total ‘oh my friggin’ gosh’ moment. But not only was he in my dreams, I called him to my dreams! Well not really called him, ‘cause you know I have no idea of his whereabouts. I literally brought him into my dreams.
I know, crazy, right? But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to tell you what I found out after the dream. So sadly, I let Doryan and my Spirit Mother slip away from my mind in order to do so. Apparently I can do some way cool crap with my mind and speak Latin. You have to admit, it’s pretty cool to bring back a dead language, don’t you think?
Anyways, I was curious to how I can say a command in my mind and have it happen in reality. That’s one of the things that happened in my dream. At first I tried to see if I could do it again, but this time I said a command that would get me out of here. You wanna know what happened? Nothing! Not one little thing! There goes an easy escape route, but I still have a plan. This time, it’ll get me some answers for sure. I remembered how the command worked in my dream. I wanted my image to disappear from Doryan after he took his next step. It was a cool moment, because I felt so powerful and pure and completely at peace with my very being. I tried that again so I could add it to my plan. I did that at least five times but nothing happened. Then my Spirit Mother’s voice came into my head, giving me very valuable information.
“Say the commands in the Latin tongue, my child. Then all answers will be revealed to you.”
I said thank you to her that was as sincere as any thanks I’ve ever given. Even more actually. After I said those two words I felt the slight pressure of a kiss on my forehead filled with love and kindness which overcame my thoughts. When those emotions dissipated, I started thinking “Latin? The closest I’ve ever gotten to Latin is Spanish and I don’t even know that!”
All of sudden it was like I was born into the dead language. Now I know it’s weird, but I knew what to do after that random moment. I went up to my door with the small plexi-glass window, the false journal in my hand, and waited for the black-eyed nurse to come for pick-up. When she reached my door she completely avoided eye contact with me. Not for long. When her fingers grasped the tiny book, I held it in place knowing she would look at me then.
When her pitch black eyes met with my hazel color, I felt a tingling sensation go through me. I wanted to grimace in agony because this sensation went from harmless tingles to pain and torture in an instant. I fought against it because I knew I needed to keep hold of her gaze. I’ll write down the whole scenario for you because I’m getting a flashback, again.
“Dic me omnia quae ibi servatur. Lorem ipsum dolor sit utcumque cognoscere nec dolor. Ut elit,” I said loud and clear, but had it register in her thoughts as English.
Tell me everything you know about me being kept here. Everything you know or I’ll get it one way or another. Your decision.
I didn’t understand what was going on, but it was like an instinct. I kept a firm grip on her gaze and the journal, refusing to let go of either one. While I waited for her response to my message, I caught a glimpse of myself in my small plexi-glass window when I finally had her under my control and she stopped resisting.
My eyes were the beautiful amber gold color that I loved so much. Then I realized my hazel eyes were growing the exact amber that was only a small portion of my iris when I felt that tingling sensation while trying to control her mind. And the pain I instantly felt after was her own. It started when I tried to connect to her thoughts so she could understand me when I spoke Latin and to make sure she would forget that it even happened. No, it wasn’t only her pain. It was a pain that came from both of us when I tried that mind thing. I didn’t mean to use so much power to hurt her, but I didn’t want to use too little that it wouldn’t have been able to work. I guess trying to do so much when you know so little can be a painful connection to make. But she needed to answer me. And I shouldn’t even feel any sympathy toward her. I mean, she’s the one who’s helping whoever keep me here for who knows what stupid reason. Sometimes I hate the fact that I’m so nice when I really shouldn’t be. I guess that explains why I’m also so forgiving to people when they don’t deserve it too. Okay, focus Juliana, focus! Mentally slap yourself a few times and get your head on straight. You need these answers!
“Dic mihi!”
Tell me now! I didn’t know why she was taking her sweet time in responding to me. I mean, I just got full control of her mind so she should’ve answered me by now. Why was it taking so long for her to answer me? Does she have the same mind things like me? Is that how she was resisting me even in the slightest way possible for her? No, I’m getting those answers whether I hurt her or not.
“To buy the Apollyon time to settle an agreement with the Monarchs about the day to come.”
Well that made things a whole lot easier. I had no idea how I was going to prompt her into answering me anyways. But what the heck were the Apollyon and the Monarchs? What was ‘the day to come’? Sounds spooky in a very cheesy way, like those really horrible horror films no one watches anymore ‘cause it just sucks that bad. And she finally answered me and gave me the slightest information I could’ve ever been given. What stunk even more was that I knew she was telling me the truth, but as little as possible just to aggravate me. Well this chick just got her wish ‘cause I was pissed off. I just wanted to twist her thoughts like what you would do to get all the water out of a towel, sending painful shocks throughout her body just to teach her a lesson. Man, I really can be mean if I wanted to. But there was something about her pitch black eyes that told me they weren’t any good and I needed to get rid of them fast. I knew it was wrong to change a person because I like people the way they were born. And they were born that way for a reason, right? But those pitch black eyes said it wasn’t possible for this woman, or anyone for that matter, to be born with such a color. But I had no gosh darn clue with what to do about it, how to change it. Then I thought of it.
Spirit Mother, be my guide to saving this woman. I can sense an innocence about her. Please help me to fix her somehow, cure her even, of this evil essence that is eating her away. She can be my ally when the time comes. Please, help me Spirit Mother.
I felt my body instantly go numb and knew she was listening to me. Thank goodness for this Spirit Mother. You know, I need a name for her, because Spirit Mother just sounds way too formal. Maybe I’ll call her Ma, like those New Yorkens. I hope she doesn’t mind though, my mom never really liked me calling her that so I called her Mama. Now that I think of it, Ma doesn’t suit her either. I’ll figure it out later. While I was babbling to myself and my body was still numb, I felt her embrace wrap around me, then she got to work.
She went into full control of my body and my arm lifted up, and went to my upper left to start. As my arm slowly glided back to the right she spoke these words, filled with power, but yet again the voice was my own. That left me thinking if it was really my voice that can reach that certain potential of power. If maybe she just provoked it to be brought out and recognized, to be spoken.
“I banish thee from this poor soul, here no more, your dark essence will vanish!”
As my words filled my tiny room I felt my control on her gaze slip away and she almost fell to her knees from the exhaustion of her resistance. When she finally brings herself back up to her feet, she meets my eyes and they’re a gorgeous emerald green. She’s teary eyed which makes the emerald glisten off the little sunlight I luckily get coming through my window at the very top of my room. It makes her eyes portray a beautiful yellow color splattered on an emerald canvas.
“Thank you my Matriarch, before they know I am no longer their puppet for now, I will weaken the systems for an easier escape. May the Protector be in your eternal shadow.”
She left with my fake diary in her hands, and with a last sincere look I knew she was my ally and would help me in any way possible, but who is the Protector? Who would make her a puppet? Someone like me? Well if it is someone like me, I know I’m the good one here because whatever they’re doing is a bigger internal battle for her, which explains all the pain I felt from her. They torture her in her mind so she can’t resist their power because she’s perfectly capable. I looked into my reflection once more, catching the pure sight of my newly amber eyes fade back into my original hazel. I’m breathing hard from the exhaustion of trying to fight against her, but I’m getting some deep breathes in now, thank goodness. At least my eye color is one less thing to wonder about me now, but this could be another hallucination. Whatever it could be, it was too real to be thought up.
That’s basically what happened. I didn’t try speaking Latin to make myself disappear because after that whole thing I knew for sure it would work. But don’t worry Fidelis, I won’t leave you here with these terrible people, they’ll probably burn you up and I don’t want that to happen to you because even though you can’t talk and you’re not even human, you’ll always be a part of my life as a good friend.
Love,
Juliana