Of course, when we get home, Mom helps (forces) me get ready for my date before she leaves for work. I refuse to think of it as such until my phone rings, displaying Cael's number.
"Cael?" I answer, at the same time he says, "Khiara?" We both go silent, and then laugh a little awkwardly.
It's Cael who talks first. "So," pause, "are you still up for that," long pause, "uhh..."
Oh my God, it is a date! Calm down calm down...Oh my God! "Yeah," I say, trying to sound nonchalant, but my voice betrays me, and I can hear Cael chuckle quietly on the other end. "I'm definitely up to it."
I run my tongue over my lips, trying my best not to lick off the lip-gloss Mom forced me to put on as Cael says, "Where do you want to meet? I can always pick you up, but only if you're okay with that."
"That sounds good. I live on McKinley Avenue. My house is the only house with shutters and a wraparound porch."
I can practically hear his smile through the phone, "I've passed by it a few times. I know the one."
"Good," I whisper.
"Yeah, good," he replies, also in a hushed voice. "I'll pick you up in about an hour."
Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rings and I practically skip all the way to the door from the living room. As I get to the door, something stops me from opening it right away. Not only did Cael say he'd pick me up in an hour or so, it's also because that stupid creepy feeling is nagging at the back of my brain. I feel watched, stalked even. And not at all safe.
I open the door reluctantly, and only poke my head out. Damien is standing there, holding a whole bunch of papers and a box of cookies. He's wearing a black suit, as if he weren't headed home from school, but towards somewhere extravagant, somewhere extremely fancy.
"Hey," he says all smiles and good looks. "Can I come in for a second? I brought your homework. Cara offered to do it, but I said that since we live so close to each other, and it was on my way, it would be no big deal. I hope you don't mind."
My heart slows down and I open the door wider, "Sure, why not." I don't know why, but Damien makes me nervous in a way nobody ever has before. I kind of associate him with shadows, mysterious and out of reach. Like if I tried to grab for him, there would be nothing but air in my hands. I realize that that's kind of strange, but nothing else seems to fit a good description for him.
He comes right in, and as he passes by me in the small doorway, I supress the urge to shudder. Internally though, my guts are twisted completely, making me like I'm going to vomit. "So, how much homework do I have?" I attempt to keep my tone as light as possible.
He smiles, and walks into my kitchen like he's been here millions of times, when really this is his first time ever being inside, and puts the cookie box on the counter next to the fridge. He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a soda, my last one actually (I go through about four cans a day sometimes) and pops it open. I'm too nervous to say anything about his boldness, and I rub my arm awkwardly. He takes a long swig from the can and burps when he's done. "Excuse me for my rudeness, but I was dying for a drink and niceties were not on my mind. Where were we? Homework, right."
Damien hands me the papers, "These are the notes Cara took for you. She photocopied a couple of other student's notes as well, but took extra detailed ones for you. You miss one day of school, and Cara really goes all out for you. Got her taking notes, Banning, maybe you should stop going to school altogether!" His words are amicable, there's no hint of contempt in them, but I still feel like he was implying something else with those words. He tries to laugh good naturedly, but it sounds tinny to me, fake. Forced.
I look over the papers and smile despite my mood at Cara's effort. I'll have to make a note to thank her later, take her out to lunch or something. Damien's eyes lock on mine as I glance up, and he smirks at me, and raises his eyebrows as if he were asking me a question. "What?" I find myself asking, my voice trembling as he continues to smirk at me.
Damien steps towards me, much too close, and he tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I make you nervous, Khiara. Why is that? Have I ever done anything to offend you? I really like you. In fact- and you can't tell Victoria or she'll kill me- I've kind of got a crush on you. It's a silly infatuation, really. But you interest me. I find myself watching you from across the class. I'm not going to hurt you, Khiara, like you seem to think, and don't try to deny it, I can read body language pretty well. I just...want to get to know you."
"I don't believe you..." I whisper, and his eyes grow reserved.
He shakes his head as his expression composes itself into a mask of pure hurt, and puts his hand over his chest. "You have my Scout's honour that all I want to do is be your friend; to get to know you. Will you please let me do that?"
The doorbell rings, and his face grows hard, his jaw clenched. "You should answer that. It might be important."
I practically jog to the door, and am relieved when I see that it's Cael. He's dressed in a normal green tee-shirt with black jeans. His unassuming clothing alone is enough to make me smile in my awkward situation with Damien- oh God, I almost forgot about him. Turning around, I gesture to Damien, "I believe you two already know each other?"
Damien's face looks like he's tasted something sour, while Cael looks impassive. Cael reaches his hand out to shake Damien's, "Yes, we've met... before." I can't help but notice how he stresses the word before, like it holds something deep inside it. "We were good friends once. We grew up together"
Damien rolls his eyes and snorts, as if the story made him remember things he'd rather not, "Well, yes, but that was a long time ago. Things were different than they are now. I suppose I'd better leave you two at it then?" I wonder what could have happened for them to have stopped being friends.
"What happened?" I ask. Mentally, I smack myself. Why, oh why, do I have to blurt things out at such awkward moments?
Damien motions to Cael to tell the story, looking weary about it. He smiles a sad smile, "Well," Cael begins, "I guess we just got on the opposite sides of a fight we didn't know much about at first. We didn't really have a choice. It's hard to explain. We were young and stupid. Anyway, it's whatever now. No need to talk about it and ruin our d-" he pauses, "our day, hmm?" He almost said date. Almost. But he didn't.
Damien nods his head, smiles and claps me on the shoulder, and turns to Cael. "Well, have a great time. Be careful with this one. She's pretty special." Gosh, I feel dirty somehow...
Cael's warm, strong hand finds its way to mine and he nods as Damien heads out the door and onto the street. "I will," he calls, "She's safe with me. Don't you worry."
~*~
Cael insisted on opening the passenger side door of his car for me. I tried to say no, but he opened it anyway, helping me get in all romantic-like. Right now, we're still parked in front of my house, the engine idling. Cael smiles and says, "So, where do you want to go?" I Shrug and tell him anywhere is fine by me, but he persists. "There's nowhere at all you've got in mind? Like a park or something."
"Well, there is a park that I really like to go to, it's sport of a special place, but it's kind of far from here, and we have to walk over a bridge. Have you been Facebook stalking me? How did you know?" I joke, but there's a slight amount of real curiosity in my words, because surely I didn't tell him about my special place, and even on Facebook, I only liked the park's page.
He laughs, "Cara swiped my number from your phone, apparently. Your mom called Cara and told her about tonight, and since Cara had taken my number down like a pro, she called me and told me where you might like to go. No stalking on my part, and I don't even own a Facebook account. There're too many people I'd rather not interact with." Well now I know why she took such awesome notes for me!
I feel my face turn three shades of crimson, "Oh...I'm going to kill her for taking my phone! This isn't the first time she's done this to me." One time, when Cara found out I had a crush on a boy named Jonathan in seventh grade she tracked him down and asked for his number. She managed to take my phone away from me in first period Math, and slipped it back in right when the bell rang, and I caught her with her hand in my purse.
Another time, she wanted pizza, and knew that I had the number for Dominos on my phone. We were at a party, and she was drunk out of her mind, but she managed to take my phone from my pocket without me even noticing, until I reached for it and it was gone. I spent half the party looking for my phone, and as soon as the doorbell rang, Cara jumped up from the couch mid-make-out session, handed me my phone, and went to pay for the pizza. The action itself explained the situation, and I almost hope she choked on her food. That is, until I got some pizza in me and everything was forgiven.
"Facebook isn't worth the drama it brings. I hate social networking sites, but they're so addictive, really." I say, as Cael starts the car.
He smiles at me, and says, "So, can you take me to your special place? I kind of brought a picnic."
I feel my cheeks pull into what I think must be a pretty stupid grin. "Awesome," I say. "I'd love to show you my special hang out."
Twenty minutes later, we've parked the car, and we're walking across Pipton Bridge that leads to Elmridge Park. Not many people use the bike portion of the bridge, because it's so high up, and there's a portion of it that's kind of broken. It's just a small part of the barrier that keeps the car and bike path separate, but it makes most people nervous, so they rarely take this path. That never stops me and Cara, or a couple of other nature lovers, though for the most part we're usually the only ones in the park.
Elmridge Park is on an island or sorts, just off of Pipton, the town we live in, so the bridge we're on has a lot of water underneath it mostly and I've always wondered what would happen if I fell off. Towards the end of the bridge near the island there are lots of rocks, and I know that if I was to fall there I wouldn't survive, or if I did I'd be seriously injured. I shudder at the thought, and Cael misinterprets my shudder as me being cold, so he stops walking, takes off his sweater and offers it to me. I slip it on gladly, not wanting to explain my thoughts. It's better that he thinks that I was cold.
Tying my hair up with an elastic band I usually keep on my wrist as the wind picks up, I smile brightly at him. "Thanks," I say. "You didn't have to do that. What if you get cold?"
Cael shrugs, and runs his fingers through his black locks. "I don't get cold very easily. I have a high tolerance to it. It takes a lot for me to feel cold."
I smile and nod my head a little too enthusiastically, "Yeah, Cara is the same way. She could run around bare naked in the snow, and not even have one goose bump."
His face grows thoughtful, but he still has a small smile on his face. "That's pretty interesting. I don't know if I could do that. Maybe she's not human."
Laughing, I smack his arm playfully, "I've said the same thing to her before. That she's not human. She finds it hilarious, and always declares that she's a werecat, you know, like a werewolf but only a cat. They're her favourite animal, and she has one- I'm sure you saw him at the party, he's hard to miss. His name is Missus Pussy pants? He's this big ball of white fur." Aaand, I'm rambling.
He stops walking, "Are you nervous about something?" Crap.
"No?" I say, making my answer sound more like a question than anything. And the truth is I'm not sure why I'm nervous. I guess today has been a really hard day, and in light of a creepy visit from Damien, and my morbid thoughts about falling off the bridge, I'm just- nervous. But I can't really explain all of that to him, so I smile and hope he'll brush it off. He doesn't.
A stubborn piece of hair falls into his eyes, and he runs his fingers through his messy locks, and frowns. "Did I do something wrong?" Of course he'd think he did something wrong!
I stop in my tracks, turn around to face him and put both hands on his shoulders. "No, no. You've been perfect, Cael. It's just-" here we go, "it's just that today has been a very tough day for me. I actually just found out that I was adopted this morning, which is why my mother was acting so weird by introducing herself as my adoptive mother, and why I didn't go to class today."
His eyes grow wide, "I am so sorry, I-" but I cut him off with a quick kiss on the cheek which instantly turns his face bright red. "Don't be. Now let's go before the day ends."
Once we reach the end of the bridge, I'm grinning like an idiot because we're holding hands, talking and laughing about simple things. We walk past the gate (there's a wrought iron gate at this end of the bridge, because you're only supposed to be there during the day, but it's never locked after hours) and towards my favourite spot. It's a small man made waterfall with a rock ledge over it to sit on and dangle your feet into the water, above a pond where there's always geese and ducks to feed. I assume the waterfall is fed by a pump somewhere underground that takes water from the river to the pond and back to the river through another pump. It's man made, but beautiful. Apple trees and intricately carved wooden benches surround the area of the pond, and the little waterfall is surrounded by rosebushes.
Once we get to the waterfall, Cael reaches into his picnic basket and produces a soft looking blue blanket, then proceeds to place it on the rock ledge so we can sit. I used to think that water would splash up onto the rock, but I Cara pointed out to me that it was designed to avoid that. It's a beautiful design, really, and I can tell Cael thinks the same as his eyes roam over the area appreciatively.
Once we sit down, he hands me the basket, grinning a lazy smile. "It's nothing fancy, I have to warn you. Cakes are my specialty, not sandwiches, but I tried."
I reach in and pull out a brown bag, which I assume holds the sandwiches. I open it up, and the enticing scent of roast beef wafts out. I reach for a sandwich, which is made with big egg-bread buns, and take off the top piece of bread. Inside, it's stuffed with roast beef, lettuce, Swiss cheese and tomatoes. Upon closer inspection, I see mustard on the piece of bread I'm holding, and grin. I love mustard.
"I think you're going to have to add sandwiches to your menu, Cael, because this is absolutely to die for!" I exclaim, taking a monster bite and revelling in the amazing taste. As I chew, Cael laughs.
"All I did was stick some stuff into a bun and hoped for the best. I guess I have a lot of free time to perfect my culinary skills, but for now I think I'll stick to cakes and pastries." He says, watching me take another bite, or rather, stuffing as much as I possibly can into my mouth, with an amused expression. This makes me suddenly very aware of how I must look.
I swallow, wipe my mouth, and accidentally burp a little too loud for it to be considered lady like. "Oh...excuse me...I, uhh, I'm not usually this disgusting when I eat." Yes you are...
Cael shrugs it off with a wave of his hand, but I can tell he's fighting laughter. "No, that's okay. I find it kind of nice, considering I made that sandwich with the hopes that it would at least be edible. You're enjoying it, and I'm glad." He runs his fingers through his hair, and a small part of me recognizes that gesture as so, completely Cael.
I realize that he's not eating his own sandwich, and I ask him, not wanting to be rude, but feeling supremely awkward to be the only one eating, like a pig I might add. "I'm not very hungry. I eat at odd hours. I hope you don't mind. But, that being said I will have something to drink." He pulls out a thermos from the basket, and I wonder what's inside.
"This," he says as he unscrews the lid of the thermos, "is my victory coffee. You didn't even have to treat me to it. Simply being with you here in your special place is enough. Want some?" I do. Put that way, coffee sounds very enticing. I nod my head, and gladly accept the cup he hands me from the basket, and watch as he pours the hot liquid into it.
I take a small sip, and then a bigger one. After I swallow my third sip, "Mmm, this is good!" I marvel.
He nods and sips his own coffee, content to stay quiet. As we sip our steaming cups, the sun slowly begins to go down and the lamps in the park turn on, one by one. After a while the stars are visible, and we're sitting on the rock, looking up at the sky. As I finish my second cup of coffee, I put the cup down beside me and lay down on my back.
"Come, lay down with me. Let's look at the stars the proper star-gazer way. All of the pros recommend it." I say, with the hint of a yawn at the end of my sentence. I'm fighting it though. I will not be tired! I will not give in!
Cael lies down next to me, abandoning his coffee, and sighs as he looks up into the night sky. "It reminds me of home. You can see the stars perfectly where I'm from."
"Ireland?"
He takes a long time to answer me, but when he does, it's very quiet, and I almost miss it. "Yeah, Ireland."
My hand finds its way to his, and I'm glad when he accepts it. His hand is warm, and his grip isn't strong, but it's comforting. I can tell that it could be strong, if I needed it to be. But he's being careful. I squeeze his hand and turn to him, and he squeezes back, and turns to face me. We stare at each other for what feels like forever, and it's nice.
Cael finally breaks the silence when he asks, so very quietly, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Blushing, I answer him. "Sometimes, why?" This is deep territory, and even though I really like him, we just met and are already moving so fast.
"I know a story," he says. "It's about an angel who fell in love with a human. Would you like to hear it?"
I nod, and a rush of relief flows through me as I realize he was just prefacing his story.
"His name was Camael, his calling was divine justice and love, and he was a very powerful Archangel. One day, as he was watching upon Earth, he came across a small village of farmers where a little girl had just been born. This little girl's soul was the brightest, most pure soul that had ever graced the earth and he found her so, very beautiful." Cael's eyes have taken on this faraway look, almost as if he were living the story and not just telling it.
"You see, after Lucifer Fell from Heaven, there was a prophesy that the purest soul on Earth would be the one to bring the Great Battle between good and evil. Camael fell in love with the girl, because as an angel he could see everything she could be, everything she could do, and it was magnificent. But God grew angry with him, for he was not supposed to love any human in that way."
I find myself gasping at how unjust that seems. Cael continues. "So he was banished from Heaven, and down to Earth. By the time he got there, nine days had passed since he'd last seen the child. He woke up weak, in a crater his body had created upon impact just outside of the girl's village, and though he was bloody and naked as a new born baby, he walked until he reached the village square. It was the dead of night when he was found by the town's priest, who took him into his home. There he was cared for until he was strong enough to walk around town. The first two days he went around, he didn't see the girl and her family, but on the third day - on the third day, what he saw was terrible. From a little house, her mother father and older sister emerged, their faces stricken."
"What happened?" I ask my heart racing.
"She'd died. The baby's soul had been reclaimed, and it was Camael's fault. He staggered back to his room in the priest's house only to find Naarai, the angel of children, waiting for him, holding the child's beautiful soul in her arms. It looked just like her, for the body is only a shell which carries our true essence. 'You should not be here,' he whispered to her. 'I thought you might want to say goodbye. I know how you loved her.' Naarai responded." Cael squeezes my hand, and I realize his words have moved me to tears.
"He began to cry and was confused at what this feeling was, but when Naarai handed him the girl, he stopped. Her soul was sleeping peacefully, nestled in his arms. 'She will be brought back to His folds, Camael. God will not punish her any more for your mistake. The world is simply not ready for the Battle.' Camael nodded. 'Why do I feel such despair? Is that what it is, to be human? To have water leak from my eyes, and to feel...what is this?' he asked, his hand going to his heart as he handed the child back to her. Naarai smiled kindly, just as the priest walked into the room, unsurprised at the sight of the angel holding the baby. 'It is heartbreak,' he said to Camael, 'it is human.' And then, Camael knew. He was one of the Fallen. Cursed with a human-like body he would live forever, and he would not age. If he was wounded, he would heal almost right away, the only thing left would be the blood that was shed. He could not die a mortal death."
"Naarai looked upon Camael one last time before disappearing, back into the folds of God, leaving him alone with the priest. 'You are repentant,' the priest said, patting him on the arm, 'I see that in you. Come let us pray for your forgiveness together.' Years passed, and still, Camael thought of the girl. He truly loved her, because he could see her for who she was before even truly knowing her. He had looked upon her that one time, and had fallen in love forever."
"Cael," I whisper. "That was beautiful. Where did you hear that?"
He smiles his sad smile, and squeezes my hand. "It's an old story and I...can't remember where I heard it." There was something hidden in those words, but I don't want to question him about it. It feels invasive, somehow.
We sit there in the dark, holding hands and reflecting. Suddenly, I ache to know why he told me that story and asked if I believe in love at first sight. So I ask him. At first, he seems hesitant to tell me the answer, but them his signature smile dances across his lips, and I can tell that he's going to elaborate. "I was just wondering, Khiara, if you would think it was worth it."
"I do," I whisper, looking into his eyes, trying to find something in them. "I feel like if I loved someone enough, I'd risk everything I had to be with them, absolutely."
"Me too," he says. For just a second, I can see something there, behind his eyes; something too deep, sad and ancient to belong to anybody our age. But just as quickly as I glimpse it, it's gone, replaced by an emotion I can't quite place.
Cael sits up abruptly, letting go of my hand to run both of his own through his hair in a nervous gesture. "Damn," he says. My spine begins to tingle, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. I get that familiar feeling, the one that brings dread into the pit of my stomach every time. The feeling of being watched by... something. Cael almost growls, low under his breath, surprising me with the sound.
Alarmed, I ask, "What? Is everything okay?" I know damn well it's not okay!
He stands up, and reaches down to pull me up as well, bringing our faces quite close. I stand there, a little stunned by the sudden close proximity of our lips, and I can tell that it's distracting him as well, because he licks his lips a little and shuffles back nervously. "We should go. It's getting late, and uhh, tomorrow's still a week day. Don't want to be late for school because you slept in, do you? Also, your first shift at the café starts tomorrow."
I shake my head reluctantly, "I guess so..." but I'm not letting him off that easily. Picking up the basket, I sigh. I have to jog to catch up with his fast pace as he begins to walk towards the bridge, and once I do catch up, he grabs onto my hand and starts to run, me awkwardly tripping behind him as we make our way to the gate. As soon as we get close enough to see it, my heart speeds up; it's closed. Cael makes a sound between a sigh and a growl, and I turn to him, still out of breath from running, and whisper, "It's probably not locked. It's not past park hours yet."
He shakes his head, "No, it is. I can see the lock." Sure enough, when I squint, there it is. Well crap. This is weird.
"We're going to have to climb it," I say, resigned. I have climbed a few gates in my lifetime, all thanks to Cara, but this one looks a little harder than the ones I'm used to. Usually, the gates are at least a couple of feet smaller, and are generally just gates to somebodies backyard or the school gate. Cara loves to go to school after hours for some reason.
With a look of surprise, as if he hadn't thought of it, Cael sizes me up, and nods once, "Right. We'll climb it then. But hurry, we don't want to get stuck here do we?"
No, we don't... I think to myself, and Cael looks up like he heard what I said, but quickly looks back at the gate as if to dismiss having heard anything. "I'll go first," he says, but the way he looks at me is like he's asking my permission, so I say, "Yeah, sure." He begins to climb, and oh what an amazing climber he is! He's better than drunken Cara any day of the week.
As soon as he's at the top, Cael reaches his arm out. "Start climbing, Khiara. Hurry up, we don't have much time." When I get close enough to hold onto his hand, he hauls me up effortlessly, and we jump to the ground together, hands entwined. He takes off running, pulling me with him, and doesn't slow down until we're halfway across the bridge to Pipton. I'm so out of breath, the world has no idea how out of freaking breath I am, but Cael seems to be breathing laboriously for some other, unnamed reason.
"What were we running from," I ask between pants for air, my hands on my knees and head down. Cael stiffens and forces out a quick laugh, "What do you mean?"
"The park isn't supposed to be closed for another hour, and even then, they hardly ever lock the gate." I place my hand on his arm and squeeze. "You made us run like bats out of hell," he scoffs at that, "and, okay, I'll admit- I was getting this terrible watched feeling. I've been writing it off as nothing for far too long; it happens too much for it not to be real."
Cael's head whips around at this, and he says "Watched feeling?"
I feel my cheeks burn crimson. "Yeah. I've been getting it a lot lately, though I've noticed it for most of my life. I feel like somebody is watching me, and their intent is not at all...good. I felt that just before things got weird back there."
Cael's eyes are hard, but they soften as he looks into mine. "Do you feel it now?"
My voice is just a thin whisper as the hair on my neck stands up and my palms grow sweaty, but I manage to get out something that resembles a "yes" before he nods his head and takes my hand. "We need to get going," he says gently, "I promise I'll explain everything later. Okay?"
~*~
Cael walks me to my door. "Some first date eh?" He says sarcastically, as he rubs his arms. I realize that I'm wearing his jacket, and move to take it off, but he smiles and shakes his head, "No, you keep it for now."
"What happened, Cael?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly.
He shakes his head, "It's complicated. I don't really know where to begin."
"You're not, like, a vampire are you?" I blurt.
His eyes become amused, "Decidedly, no I am not. I'd rather not sparkle. If anything, I'd love to radiate a really cool glow or something that could overpower evil just by looking at it, I mean how cool would that be? It's simple but effective." Kind of nerdy I guess, but also kind of cute.
I duck my head, "Sorry about the stupid question. I just needed something to..."
"Fill the awkward silence?" He supplies.
"Yeah," I whisper. He brings his hands up to cup my face and his expression is unreadable, "I am involved in some really heavy things, Khiara, and with some pretty dangerous individuals. I'm worried that it might get in the way of..."
"Any chance for there to be anything between us," knowing what's coming next. He's going to tell me why we're not going to work out in excruciating detail, and I'm going to have to buy a pint of ice cream and call Cara to come over and comfort me.
"But I want to give us a chance anyway. I want to get to know you, and I want you to get to know me- the real me, not the act I put on for everybody else. My life...it isn't an easy one."
I remember the day we met, him telling me it wasn't safe for him to stay with me, that he wasn't supposed to be talking to me. He'd quickly covered it up by saying it was because he wasn't invited, but now that I think about it, half the people there probably weren't invited and they didn't seem to give a damn about that.
"I feel safe with you," I whisper. "I don't know why, but I do. I can't explain it."
His mouth quirks into a half smile, "Well, Khiara, I'll do everything possible to keep you safe; if you let me."
"I will," I whisper. And he kisses me on the cheek, ever so softly. "Good night, Khiara. I'll see you tomorrow at work."