I thought he wouldn't come.
He did.
I waited that night. Alas tres na ng madaling araw pero wala pa siya. Humiga lamang ako saglit nang hilain ako ng antok.
I was already in a deep slumber when I felt something soft against my lips. It moved in a slow pace. Mainit. Malalim. Malambot. Masarap sa pakiramdam.
Hindi ko na nagawang idilat ang aking mga mata dahil nahulog na 'ko sa nangyayari. Nawala ang antok ko. I felt someone grabbed both sides of my waist. Mahigpit pero maingat.
Lumapat ang aking mga palad sa dibdib ng nakadangan sa'kin. It was incredible how hard and firm it was but not heavy.
Opening my eyes, he moved his lips away. His lips curved into a smile while our eyes met. Gaya ng kanyang halik, napakalalim din ng kanyang mga titig.
The glint of happiness ever so prominent and could never be disregarded.
"You waited long..." He dipped down and gave me a peck. "Sorry."
"Hindi naman." Nang matandaan ko kung bakit ko siya pinapunta dito ay marahan ko siyang tinulak. I could still feel my lips numb and tingling. It was so hard to not mind it but I needed to stay focus.
He moved off reluctantly with a frown. Nang makaupo na 'ko ay hinarap ko siya. He was disappointed about something.
Ano bang inaasahan niya? Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako ng maisip kung ano 'yon.
"Pinapunta kita dito dahil may gusto akong malaman."
"What is it?" He softly said.
Nag-isip ako saglit at ginawa niya 'yong pagkakataon para tumabi sa'kin at yakapin ako. I was confused and felt awkward for a moment. He was clingy and touchy. Hindi na kasi ako sanay na ganito siya sa'kin pero hindi naman ako umangal.
After all, it was so nice being in his arms. Kumportable nga pero ang puso ko di magawang kumalma. It was warm too. Not the type that could make you leave and move away. Ito ung tipong gusto kong humiga at tumabi sa kanya at kalimutan ang lahat. Like a hot coffee in a cold, rainy night or a warm blanket.
Calm down, Iara. You need to know something!
Right!
"Pina-expel mo ba ung grupo ko dati." I started. "Na-suspend din si Jasper at Sharlene?"
Hearing my question, I felt his body stiffened before asking. "I thought we agreed to forget everything from the past?"
I nodded. "Gusto ko lang malaman."
"Should I feed your curiosity?"
Humiwalay ako sa kanya ng kaunti. "Wala rin namang mababago kahit malaman ko ngayon. Gusto ko lang malaman."
Nakita ko ang pag-aalinlangan sa kanyang mukha. "C'mon. Tell me, please?"
Dahil sa pagpupumilit ko ay wala na siyang nagawa. He sighed before telling me everything that happened after I left.
Kagaya nga ng kwento ni Shiela, natanggal sila sa university. Sa tulong narin ni kuya Randell, nagkaroon sila ng ebidensya na si Chloe ang nagpakalat ng larawan ko. Si Dylan daw ang nagtulak na dalhin sa chaiman ng university ang lahat.
Kung pa'no napunta kay Chloe ung picture ay dahil kay Jasper. He stole it from Dylan's sports bag. Thus, her suspension. Ang akala ko dati binigay niya kay Chloe.
Dylan too was punished by suspension because he had that picture. However, he decided to switch school.
By the time he finished telling me everything, we were already lying too close together, him holding me tight.
"Graduating ka na diba?" He nodded. "Sang school ka lumipat?"
"Haven't you read my biography? You should know that."
Napa-angat ako ng tingin para kumpirmahin. "Totoo palang undergrad ka? Why didn't you finish? Isang taon na lang yon!" Before, I assumed that he graduated because he's... rich!
He shrugged. "I saw no point."
"Seriously?" Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Eh, 'bat ka pa nag-transfer?"
Gumalaw siya para dumandal sa headboard at seryoso akong tinignan. "Dahil sa'yo."
"Yeah right. Tinamad kalang siguro." I rolled my eyes at him. "Diploma 'yon. Proof that you finished studying. A token —stepping stone for a good career. Sinong ayaw no'n kung andyan na?"
Ngumisi siya nang may pagmamayabang. "I'm rich."
I frowned and plopped myself back to his side. "Sorry, that everyone's not like you Mr. MVP. Life is unfair."
"Only Ms. Varsity Catcher can take advantage of the MVP." He hugged me immediately, chuckling. "I'll let you taste the goods the next time. You need to sleep."
Medyo nagulat pa 'ko sa tinawag niya sa'kin. Hindi ko inaasahan na maririnig ko ulit 'yon sa kanya.
I never thought the things he confirmed would happen with me gone. Ang alam ko lang ay nilinis lang ni Kuya Randell ang pangalan ko sa buong campus. The details on how, I didn't mind getting. Hindi rin nasabi ni Kuya Randell sa'kin kahit nasa probinsya na kami.
Also, I already cut all things connected to that day so there's no point in knowing it all. Kaya lang, nang nalaman kong may partisipasyon si Dylan sa lahat may dumating ang kagustuhang malaman ang lahat.
Isa pa, bakit niya gagawin 'yon? I still remembered his expression that day. He was disgusted at me so why?
Did he felt something for me?
Impossible. He made it clear that day that he didn't want me. Pero kung pagbabasihan ang kilos niya sa'kin ngayon, ang paghaplos niya at yakap sa'kin na parang mawawala ako ano mang oras, talaga namang hindi ko maiwasang maguluhan.
A part of me wanted to believe in him now but my trauma from the past were pulling me back. My doubts and wanting to take risks were fighting tag of war. This push and pull was irritating.
"Dylan..." I whispered his name, sleepily. "I accept your offer but no one can know, okay?"
I closed me eyes and didn't look at him. Nanatili siyang tahimik pero rinig na rinig at damang dama ko ang tibok ng kanyang puso. Ang yakap niya ay lalo pang humigpit habang marahan niyang hinalikan ang aking ulo.
I thought he would never respond so I let myself fell asleep but I still heard him talk after awhile.
"You'll never regret it this time, baby." Marahang mga halik ang dumampi sa'king buong mukha na mas lalong nagpahila sa'kin sa antok.
.•*•.
"Umalis ka ba kaninang madaling araw, Dylan?"
Bilang nagtanong si kuya habang kumakain kami. Medyo kinabahan ako dahil sa tanong niya.
"Nagising kasi ako ng madaling araw pero wala ka."
Nagkatinginan kami ni Dylan. Hindi ko mawari kung anong nararamdaman niya. Bakit parang hindi naman siya kinakabahan? Shocks! Baka mahuli na kami.
"Baka naman nagbanyo, kuya." Pagsabat ko bago uminom ng tubig para itago ang kaba.
"Umihi ako no'n eh." Umiling siya bago bumaling sa kaharap ko. "Lumabas ka ba?"
"I went to convenient store."
My brother looked satisfied to his answer making me relieved. Before he dropped the topic, he told Dylan to be careful as he saw yesterday a suspicious person lurking around the building.
"May camera kasing nakasabit sa leeg. Diba aalis ka mamaya? Feeling ko paparazzi 'yon kaya mag-ingat ka." He advised.
Sa mga nakaraang araw, madalas kasing lumalabas si Dylan. He still needed to take care of his cases and all those things he left behind. Minsan nga feeling ko andito lang siya para matulog.
When it came to the relationship between Dylan and I, everything went smoothly and good. Lagi siyang pumupunta sa kwarto ko dahil hindi naman pwedeng ako sa kanya.
I was not sure if it's good or bad because we hadn't had séx yet. We made out. A lot. But every time we almost got out of control, he always stops. Hindi ko nga alam kung maasar ako o ano. I was not even sure if he's being a gentleman or losing an interest.
Kapag naaalala ko ung mga reakyon ng katawan niya, lalo na ung excitement sa pagitan ng mga hita niya, imposibleng nawawalan siya ng interes. Sa paglukot ng mukha niya no'n bago pumasok ng banyo, imposibleng imposible.
I was frustrated. Ayokong tratuhin o umaktong virgin.
Hindi na 'ko virgin!
I was a woman with needs. Lalo pa ngayon na tinatrabaho ko 'tong bagong novel. Take note!
An erotica novel!
Being a writer and a reader at the same time while working on this kind of novel was hard. You know why? Because while reading and editing, your brain would project the scenes.
What made it worst was I had a wild imagination and it's in HD! Kaya naman kuhang kuha ng utak ko kung pa'no gumalaw ang mga karakter.
Bawat dikit ng mga katawan nila, mga haplos, mga malalalim na halikan, mga galaw ng balakang nila at kahit anong parte ng katawan.
Kitang kita ko at talaga namang nakakapag-init.
I turned the printouts over and sighed. I was sexually frustrated and feeling hot. I needed to release this one or else I'd lose my mind.
Matagal ko nang hindi ginagawa 'to. Andyan naman kasi si Theo no'n pero dahil hindi maasahan si Dylan, magbabalik loob ako.
Thinking about pleasuring myself, I took my phone and searched for videos as I lied down on my bed. The first video sent the fire in me blazing.
Pinagapang ko ang aking kamay mula sa tiyan pababa sa gitna ng aking mga hita. My actions made me felt hotter and hotter until I ended panting.
Pinagpatuloy ko ang ginagawa hanggang umikot sa buong katawan ko ang init. I felt something built up in me until it got bigger and almost sent me to my release.
The door suddenly opened.
I shrieked and sat up before removing my working hand and pulling the covers on my exposed lower half, dropping the phone in the process.
"What are you doing?" Tanong ni Dylan na may ngisi sa mga labi.
"W-Wala!" I awkwardly said. "Lumabas ka na. I-lock mo 'yung pinto."
Imbes na lumabas ay pumasok siya at ni-lock ang pinto. Napalunok ako at kinabahan sa kakaibang ngisi sa kanyang mga labi.
"What are you doing?"
Humigpit ang kapit ko sa kumot ng humakbang siya palapit. Mas lalong pumintig ang aking puso dahil sa kanyang titig. Malalim, madilim at may kung anong kislap at kapilyuhan do'n.
Isang malakas na ungol ang narinig sa buong kwarto. Nanigas ako at napalingon sa cellphone na nagpapalabas ng dalawang taong nasa rurok ng kaligayahan.
Turning to him, I reached for the cellphone when I found his eyes glued to the screen. Namula ang aking mukha sa kahihiyan.
Oh my gosh! Ngayon lang nahuli ng ganito. Nakakahiya talaga!
"So this is what you're working on..." He teased.
Pumaibabaw siya sa'kin na lalong nagpamula sa'kin. "Shut up! Pa'no ka ba nakapasok. Ni-lock ko ung pinto ah."
"It was locked but not closed properly." He said. "Yayayain sana kitang lumabas but it's more fine to lock ourselves in here."
My face fell in deep shade of red.
"You don't need this." He took my phone and tossed it aside. "You have me."
Mas lalong dumilim ang kanyang mga tingin nang maramdaman kong unti unti niyang hinihila ang bumabalot sa'king katawan.
The fire that left me earlier came back with so much anticipation. Nagtatalo ang isip ko kung pipigilan ko 'to o magpapakakunod sa sitwasyon.
Him so close sent my heart into frenzy. Dumadampi ang kanyang mga daliri sa aking tyan, pababa sa balakang.
My breath became uneven with his touches and he seemed satisfies with my reaction. We were looking straight to each other. The lust and adoration in his eyes was glowing, painting the room into deep sexual tension.
Sa huli ay hinayaan ko ang lahat. Nang matanggal niya ang kumot ay agad kong sinapo ang kanyang mukha at binigyan ng halik.
We succumb in the heated moment. Matagal ko nang hindi naramdaman 'to sa kanya. I thought that I could forget all his passionate ways with so much years that came by but I didn't.
Yes, we made out a couple of times in the past days but this was so different. It was more passionate, more feelings... more deeper.
When he entered me, I gasped loud and gasped until the pleasure was so high that gave me the most mind blowing zenith ever. It was a euphoric bliss.
Bumagsak siya sa tabi ko, pareho kaming naghahabol ng hininga. Our eyes shining with contentment ad happiness. Hinalikan niya 'ko sa labi ng mariin bago yakapin ng mahigpit.
"That was wonderful, baby." He snuggled his face against my neck like the clingy person he had become.
Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik hanggang maramdaman kong nakatulog na siya. Ako naman ay nakatingin lamang sa kawalan.
I found myself remembering. Back on the days that I felt the same. When we used to be carefree, crazy and happy. This overwhelming feelings came back.
And I was scared and joyous at the same time.
Not in the mood to have it in detailed so... pagtyagaan niyo na at isa pa....
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!