I groan, eyes blurring wearily as I continue to stare at my computer. I pause, pinching the bridge of my nose to try and ease the stress headache that's coming on. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd stumble upon while looking through Harry & Eleanor's personal finances — but the task certainly wasn't easy. At least not as easy as finishing my parents taxes, which I had knocked out earlier this morning.
So far, what I was seeing didn't look good — but I had to find the smoking gun, which was going to be difficult with all of the super secret accounts and business trusts Eleanor had set up. And now I had to sit here, combing through everything with a fine tooth comb.
That is, until a knock interrupts my concentration.
I secretly welcome the distraction, standing from the chair at my dining room table before tying the loose cardigan over my frame, hiding my bra-less upper body barely hidden in my camisole. The bare pads of my feet make their way to the door, breath catching when I see a familiar pair of emerald eyes looking down at me.
"Harry..."
"Livvy," he whispers.
I groan, cursing silently at myself as I let him push past me into my apartment. He had been coming over quite frequently, usually when he had a fight with Eleanor.
I groan as I feel his arms snake around my body, pulling my backside to his front, his nose burying into the crook of my neck. His breathing is shallow, and I could feel his body relax the moment he had me in his arms.
"I missed you," he murmurs.
I roll my eyes silently. "You know, if you just told Eleanor what you really wanted, you wouldn't have to miss me."
He groans, arms tightening around me. I had been losing patience over the past few weeks, getting tired of the same old back and forth. And part of me really was getting my life together — finally enrolling in CPA classes, burying my designer clothes, doing my parents taxes. I was getting back to me. The me that I desperately wished I could also be when his arms were around me.
"Livvy..." he groans. "I told you that I need time. I've been honest with you the entire time. This isn't easy for me."
I sigh, slowly pulling away from him, biting my lip before looking up at his pained facial expression. His hair is getting longer and a bit unruly, he's stopped shaving his face entirely, and he's actually dressing in casual clothes — a ratty old Rolling Stones t-shirt and some casual baggy jeans that look like they came from the 90s.
"Harry," I start, hand reaching up to touch his cheek. "What are we doing?"
He smirks at me, leaning down to connect our lips, and I groan. I had no intention of seeing him today, but I had been planning and plotting my escape from this fucked up situation since the bridal party. I wanted to pull away, but there was a part of me that wanted to remember how good this felt, just one last time.
He groans, picking me up and carrying me to the counter. His hips slip between my legs, mouth hot and heavy against my lips, as if he forgot what they tasted like and needed the reminder.
"Fuck, I missed you so much," he whimpers.
His hands quickly pushed off my cardigan, reveling in the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra. He palmed my perky mounds, grunting as he slowly kissed down my neck, placing sloppy kisses on my collar bone.
I groan, trying to push off the thought that this would be our last time, head tilting back and letting him assault my senses. Once he pulled my top off, I pushed him away.
He lets his eyes search mine, suddenly questioning my forcefulness. He can tell something's up — he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. But he's still an idiot, and I can't expect him to really know about the blow I'm going to deliver to him after I get to have him one last time, for my memory's sake.
"You always get to be in control," I smirk, sliding off the counter and grabbing his hands. I gently tug him playfully back to my bedroom, gently pushing him down on the bed.
"You trying to take it?" He smirks, grabbing my wrists playfully. "Never knew you to be the type who wants to take charge in the bedroom."
"Maybe you don't know much about me," I whisper, slowly working on his belt and pulling his pants off swiftly, leaving him in his black boxer briefs.
He groans, about to protest my silly allegation, but I slip my pants off, leaving me in just my underwear. I smirk as I slowly straddle his waist, slowly and tantalizingly grinding on his hardened arousal.
"Fuck," he hisses. He moved his hands to grip my hips, but I grip his wrists instead, leaning over him to pin them up and above his head.
"No, sir. Today, it's my turn. You're in my house, in my bed, under my body. My rules," I whisper, lips nipping at the soft flesh under his ear.
He just grunts in response, hips pressing up against me slightly to let me know how turned on he was at this turn of the tables.
I smile, quickly working the buttons at his shirt, trying to temper my carnal need for him with the knowledge that this will probably be the last time I ever get to see or touch his beautiful skin.
I sit up straight, gently peering down at him through my eyelashes. A finger slowly traces the outline of his butterfly tattoo on his abdomen before moving up to the swallows on his chest.
I could feel the mood shift from hurried and lustful to slow and sentimental. My hand slides down the center of his chest and back up lovingly. Our eyes connect, and it's like we're both in the same body, our hearts seemingly in sync. I can't help but lean down and kiss him with every emotion I had locked inside, petrified of losing him and letting him know that.
"I know you're in control right now," he whispers sweetly against my lips. "But I'd really love to get these off of you." His fingers gently plucked the band of my panties to let me know what he was referring to.
I smile against his lips, slowly sitting up and lay back against his legs, lifting my hips a little so he could pull my panties down, letting him enjoy the view as he did so.
He groaned, unable to keep his eyes off of me, hands running teasingly up and down my legs. I whimper, slowly sitting up again and helping to push his boxers down, watching him kick them off impatiently.
Once we were completely naked, I couldn't help but press my bare wetness against his thickness. I started to slowly roll my hips against him, watching his eyes roll back in his head as I did so.
"Fuck, Livvy. You're driving me insane."
I smile, leaning down to kiss his lips again, enjoying the feeling of his tongue snaking into my mouth.
"That's it, baby..." he whimpers.
His hips shifted up, desperately trying to get his length inside of me.
"I need you..." he whines again, fingers getting lost in my hair. "C'mon baby, ride me."
I pause, looking up at him lovingly. I slip my hand between us, tired of the teasing myself, and position him at my entrance. My eyes flutter sweetly as I sink onto him, genuinely enjoying the way he filled me up. We had never tried this position before, so it was new to both of us.
He hisses, fingertips sinking deeply into the flesh of my hips. "Fuck — that's so deep."
I nod, whimpering at having taken every inch of him, taking some time to adjust before beginning to rock my hips carefully, hands resting gently over the swallows on his chest.
I took my time, making sure to love him right before the urgency in our bodies overtook us, hips wildly beginning to bounce onto him, maneuvering into figure eights and circles depending on the intensity I want to provide to us.
He was in such a fit of pleasure that his legs were twitching, toes curling, head tilting back and exposing his neck tenderly.
"Jesus," he whimpers in ecstasy. "God, you really know how to..."
And just like that, I slammed all the way down onto him, back arching involuntarily, walls clenching at him.
"Cum for me, Harry..." I whimper, trying to hold my own orgasm in.
"Ahhh...f-fuck..." he cried out, gripping my hips as he began to pound relentlessly up into me, chasing the feeling that was rippling through his body. "I'm coming, baby..."
I collapsed against him after experiencing my own orgasm rock through my body, entire body convulsing as I came down from my high. His arms wrapped around me tightly, holding me to him.
"If I knew you could do that, I would have let you take control a long time ago," he smirks. "Wow, I've never been fucked like that before."
I smile lazily, beginning to trace the other lines of the tattoos on his shoulder.
But as the pleasure wanes, my mind catches up to me. And I know it's time.
"Harry?"
There's silence between us, both of us close to sleep.
"Yeah, Baby?"
"I can't keep doing this."
He sucked in a deep breath, arms tightening around me. "What do you mean, Livvy?"
I sigh. "I'm trying — have been trying for quite some time — to be patient. But you don't know how it feels to be stuck seeing you be a fiancé to your fiancé, while I have to sit back in the sidelines and just be your fuck toy. I had to sit back and watch when you bought her an extravagant new ring the day after we were together — and I have to watch it every time you come to the office or I have to go to your house, and I had to watch it at the bridal shower last week. Do you know what it feels like to be making out with a man you would literally go to the ends of the Earth for — just a floor below where his future wife is having her bridal shower? I mean, God — that makes me — it makes me look and feel so stupid, Harry."
He bites his bottom lip, nodding a timid understanding.
"I know you need time, but I can't keep looking like a fool in the case that you wake up and realize that you're never going to let go of her. And where does that leave me?" I whisper.
I slowly look up at him, hands clasped in his chest, chin resting atop of them.
"Where does that show me what I mean to you? If anything at all, of course."
Harry looks down at me, pain written all over his face. I'm giving him an ultimatum, and the pressure makes his skin crawl.
"You know how I —" he starts.
"Stop, Harry. I don't. You haven't been able to tell me how you feel ever. And you certainly don't want to talk about 'feelings' as you made it so clear to me last week at the bridal shower. 'That's not us,' remember?"
He hissed, hand moving up to his neck quickly to rub it nervously. "Livvy..."
I shook my head. "No, Harry. I'm doing this for us. For you. For me. I'm going to finish looking through your finances, I'm starting school in the spring, and then I'm leaving. Eleanor, and you. I'm done. No more. If you don't figure it out before then, you're going to have to deal with the consequences. I'm not gonna sit around on the sidelines anymore. I can't. Having you leave me after something so emotional as what we just did — hurts too much."
He nods, slowly brushing a curl off of my forehead.
"I promised you I would figure it out," he whispers.
"I know. I'm just letting you know that I'm not going to wait around anymore until you do. And...this...this is the last time we're sleeping together until you're single. It just...it's not that I don't want to, Lord knows I do — but it hurts too much seeing you with her."
He can't really argue with me and he knows it. "I wish you would have told me how you felt before we slept together. I would have savored it even more and done it differently..." he whispers.
I nod, trying not to feel tears in my eyes, his words making it seem that he also thinks this was our last time.
"You can make love to me one last time," I whisper. "If it gives you closure. But then this is done. For good. Until you tell her."
He nods, hand caressing my cheek lovingly as he slowly rolls us over. "Don't worry, babygirl. I won't let you down," he says, trying to blink back the tears in his glossy eyes.
And with that, we shared the first of many kisses that night, cherishing the feeling of each other's bodies in case this really was the last time we could ever be together.
I just hoped he'd come to his senses before this is all too late.
The tears in my eyes as we held each other after our last orgasms ripped through us proved that I wasn't exactly sure of our outcome.
I could only hope that he was, and that his promises really meant something to him.
—
A/N
Hi 👋🏻
I love you.
👋🏻♥️