"Death is harder on those who are left behind."
∞Shocking∞
~Ash~
I was like a lifeless corpse standing there while Sarah helped me get changed into a black dress and some heels. The black dress was the same one I wore to Michael's funeral. I push the nostalgic thoughts away as Sarah slips on my heels. As she leaves, I'm left alone to do my makeup and hair. I start to curl my hair because momma always love my hair in curls. I put on a full makeup look and spray on some of my mom's perfume.
I stand in front of the mirror, staring at the girl in front of me. The bags under her eyes were covered, and the scars on her arms hidden by the long sleeves of the dress. I open the drawer of my night table and stare at the blade sitting there. I remember how I let myself feel the familiar sting of the pain that the blade causes. But it was nothing, nothing compared to what I was feeling in my heart. I look at the photo of mom and I on my dresser one last time before I make my way downstairs. The Aimes family was standing there, along with a woman I recognized as Trey's mother.
"Ash, honey I'm so sorry to hear about your loss" the woman named Sonia, says wrapping her arms around me in attempts of providing comfort. I let my arms stay limp and stay silent as I nod at her.
"Ash, sweetheart, let's go" dad says as he wraps an arm around my waist. Darren follows behind, and I notice Sophia squeezing his hand reassuringly and feel happy that my brother had met such an amazing girl.
The ride to the memorial was silent as no words were being exchanged. I let my dad lead me to a row of chairs in front of where my momma's coffin lay. As the service starts, I pay no attention to anything around me as I stare at my mom. She looked so peaceful laying there with her arms resting on her stomach.
"Ash, go up there and share a few words" my dad encourages and I nod taking a deep breath. I quietly make my way to the podium and take the microphone from the pastor.
"We're all gathered here in remembrance of my mother. As I look around I see everyone with tears in their eyes. Relatives, cousins, friends. But as i look you all in the eye, I don't remember you being there before. It's funny how when people die, then only do people realize that something is missing" I say and take a breath to calm myself.
"That woman was my mother, my best friend, my guide, my strength, my motivation. Sometimes when I felt like giving up, I looked into her eyes, and saw her love and admiration, that's what kept me going. With pure honesty, I can say that if it wasn't for my mom, I would probably be dead right now. Even when we struggled to keep a roof over our heads, momma didn't complain, instead she smiled and said we were going to make it together. My mom had a dream of becoming a doctor, but she didn't have the kind of cash needed to invest in medical school and so I started to do to jobs a day, usually working more hours than I slept but I never told my mom because her dreams meant so much to me" I say thoughtfully and I see Darren give me a small smile.
"All I hope for is that my mother is remembered to be the strong, wise woman that she was and not someone who committed suicide. I love always hold a special place for her in my heart, and I wish for her soul to rest in peace, to rest in paradise" I say and hand the microphone back, wiping away stray tears as I sat back down beside dad. At the end, we were allowed a few minutes with mom before she was lowered. I
I walk up and sit beside her coffin. I smile sadly as I run my hands through her hair. As I watched her lay there, memories flashed before my eyes.
Family game nights, movie marathons, hugging ad snuggling at night, comforting hugs after a nightmare, warm hot chocolate even in the hot weather, making lemonade, baking cookies, the hugs and the kisses.
I wipe away the tears knowing my mom wouldn't have liked seeing me like this.
"Bye momma" I whisper and kiss her forehead and stand beside my brother and dad watching as the men lower her into the ground.
"Trey sends his condolences" Sonia says softly and I scoff.
"No need for him to do that, seeing that I hate him" I say before i realize what I was saying.
"What?" Sonia asks confused and I tell her everything about what happened that night. Sonia was in tears when I finish.
"I'm so sorry Ash, I don't know what's gotten into Trey but I assure you I will personally make sure he gets what he deserves for doing that to you" she says hugging me and I smirk.
"Thank you Sonia" I say and she nods, waving to me as she heads to her car.
"Mr. DeLauro! Mr. DeLauro! How do you feel about the death of your ex-wife?"
"How did she die?"
"Was she depressed?"
"Was it because of you?"
"Shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business!" I yell at the reporters who were swarming us by the car. They all quickly walk away giving me dirty looks.
"Ash calm down" Darren says and I shake my head.
"No, fucking no, don't tell me to calm down. Mom's funeral is not a place for paparazzi, it's a day of sorrow!" I yell and suddenly there are tears streaming down my face.
"Ash" Sarah says coming closer to me.
"No! Stay back all of you! And don't give me crap about how it's all going to be alright! Because it's not! Mom didn't die in an accident or because of a heart attack, she committed suicide, she ended her own life!" I yell in hysterical tears.
~Austin~
I stop in my tracks as I hear Ash yelling.
"She died because of me, I pushed her, and I pushed her down the cliff and didn't even notice" she cries and I step closer.
"She left because I wasn't there to support her, I was too hung up on Michael to see that my momma was hurting" she says crying.
I didn't know why, but I felt the sudden urge to go and comfort her. But I don't, I stand there a still as a pole not knowing how to approach this situation. As I look up from my feet, I see Ash running away, towards the road. Darren runs to me.
"Austin, please go after her, I don't know what she might end up doing" he begs and I see the tears in his eyes. I nod and get on my motorcycle to follow her.
~Ash~
I hear a motorcycle behind me and I stop walking. I felt paranoid, but I had every right too, I saw an old enemy slash psycho yesterday. I turn to find, in relief that was just Austin.
"What are you doing here?" I ask sighing as he gets off his bike.
"Darren told me to come after you" he says sitting beside me against the brick wall.
"Why did you leave?" he asks softly and I raise my eyebrows up in surprise.
"I...I don't know..." I reply honestly.
"I thought you left to hang out with Andrew" he says teasing but I find it humorless.
"Andrew cheated on me and we broke up when I first got here" I say and shake my head.
"Sorry I just blurted that out" I say.
"It's alright, I don't mind" he says.
"What's up with you?" I ask.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"I mean you didn't have any mood swings today, Mr. bipolar affective disorder" I say and his face turns serious.
"You remember that? I thought you were shit-faced" he says blushing.
"Awe, you're blushing, that's so adorable" I say pinching his cheeks and he glares at me.
"I'm not 'adorable' I'm sexy" he says and I roll my eyes.
"Somebody's too cocky for their own good" I say smacking the back of his head.
"Hey, don't fucking smack me" he says angrily.
"Kay, I'm out" I say walking away from him. I walk into a nearby bar and set on a barstool.
"Can I have some water?" I ask the bartender.
Sure, pretty thing" he says flirtatiously and I get up and pull him closer by the collar.
"You mix anything in that drink, and I'll make sure you're never capable of drinking again" I say and he nods.
"Good" I say smirking.
"Here" the bartender says handing me a glass of ice cold water.
"Did I say to put ice in it?" I ask angrily and he grabs the glass from and hands me another without ice this time.
"I ain't tipping your broke ass cuz you can't follow instructions" I say gulping down the water and tossing the glass at the bartender. As I look up at the TV across the bar, I bust out laughing when Kendall Jenner says "guys, I'm the worst reader", was she willow Smith's classmate?
I get up and walk outside, just as I turn around, I hear grunts, and laughter. I look over my shoulder and see...
A very drunk Austin Aimes getting the crap beaten out of himself by a bunch of guys that I recognized were from a small street gang in California. I put on my hood and walk over to them.
"Hey!" I yell and they stop and look at me, while one guy punches Austin in the stomach. I yank that guy away from him and sick him in the jaw.
"Oh look a girl thinks she can just come here and rescue her boyfriend from a gang" the guy, who I assume is the leader, says laughing in my face.
"Eat a mint or something, your breath be smelling like a pile of shit up in here" I say pushing him away and her glares up at me. I quickly dodge a punch from him and a kick from a guy behind me. I kick the leader and smirk hearing the satisfying crunch of his ribs cracking.
"Oh no you didn't" another guy says reaching for me and I punch him out cold.
"Oh yes I did" I say and look up to see the other guys running away. I take off my hood, feeling the relief that none of them recognized me as the Red Raven. I sigh over to Austin. I wrap my arm around his waist and help him walk towards a cab at the end of the street. I tell him our street and we drive off.
"Ash" Austin says tapping my shoulder.
"Ash" he says again.
"Ash!" he yells into my ear and I turn and glare at him.
"What?!" I yell and he laughs.
"Nothing, you're sexy when you're mad" he says and I blush.
I blushed! What the fuck is going on?!
I shake my head and lead Austin to the door, and just as we get to the door, he pushes me against the wall and puts his head on my shoulder.
"Thanks Ash, you're really nice" he says sniffing my hair. He just sniffed my hair, creepy.
"It was no prob, but it will be a prob if you don't get off of me soon" I say smirking and he nods, moving move and putting his hands on his hips. I almost laugh at his girly gesture.
"Ash, dear thank you so much for bringing him home, he doesn't get drunk very often, and in fact he barely touches alcohol" Patty says as we set him don in his bed.
"Oh um he seemed to be very moody today and probably decided to drink" I explain and she nods.
"You know, sometimes it's hard because Austin doesn't have many true friends, they only care for the expensive gaming consoles or the cars that Austin has, Adam is the only one that's true" Patty says sadly.
"I understand, I've experienced that myself" I say and she smiles.
"He can't control his emotions you know. It's been hard for me and Dave" Patty says and a tear rolls down her cheek. I reach out and hug her.
"Hey! Don't touch my mom!" a very drunk Austin yells and I laugh.
"I know he's bipolar Patty, he told me" I say softly and she looks surprised.
"I know this is much to ask for, but will you help him, he seems to be more in control when you're around him" she says and that surprises me.
"Sure, I guess" I say and she smiles. She leaves and I look at Austin who was playing with his hair. I sit down near him on the floor and close my eyes for a minute.
"Hey when did you come?" Austin asks and I open my eyes.
"Oh I just came" I say playing along and he smiles.
"That's great, because I like you" he says and my heart stops.
"W-what?" I ask shocked.
"Yea, you're an amazing friend" he says and I felt a little disappointment inside. I don't know why but I just did.
"At least you didn't hurt me like she did" he says frowning.
"W-who hurt you Austin?" I ask softly.
"Her name it...was....it was Tanya.....Tanya Rose" he says and I freeze.
"She had golden blonde hair that looked like the sunset...and sky blue eyes that shined so bright" he says smiling cheekily and I listen.
"But she cheated on me...I think the guy's name...was...Andrew" he says. I stand up shocked from what I learned.
My ex-best friend, Tanya Rose, cheated on Austin with my boyfriend of the time and past best friend, Andrew. Tanya played the both of us.
"Ash" Austin says and I turn to look at him.
"Y-yea?" I ask still feeling the aftershocks of what he told me.
"Can you please stay the night?" he asks and pouts. I sigh and nod. I get in beside him and just as I close my eyes, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. I close my eyes falling asleep.
"Harper, get in line!" coach yells as I tighten my laces. I nod and stand beside Austin. We were at the State finals. This is a big moment in my life and I want to make my momma proud because I know she's watching me from above.
"Good luck" I say to Austin who tells me the same smiling at me. I look forward as the whistle is blown. I start off slow, ignoring the coach telling me to hasten my pace and as half of my laps are over, I start to build up my speed. I run past most of the girls and guys and as I'm running my last two laps, I feel a burning pain slowly spread over my abdomen. I ignore it and sprint the last two laps.
Just as I manage to break the ribbon and finish off first, I collapse onto the ground as I feel a ton of bricks hit my lower abdomen. I look down to see my shorts drenched with blood. I groan in pain and roll over on my side as the coach and Austin run to me.
"Ash" Austin says looking worried. I grunt in response.
"Harper, we're taking you to the hospital" coach says and I just close my eyes, letting the darkness take over.
I cover my eyes as light hits them. I open my eyes to find myself in a hospital room and sit up.
"Ms. Harper, it's great to see you awake, we have to ask you a few questions" the kind woman, who was the doctor says and I nod.
"Have you had any drugs in the last couple of days?" she asks.
"No, I actually quit about two months ago" I answer and she smiles.
"That's great, second question when was the last time you had alcohol?" she asks.
"The night before yesterday, I had a bottle or two" I answer truthfully.
"I have news for you and I've informed your brother and father" she says and I nod.
"Unfortunately you had a miscarriage" she says and I gasp.
"W-what?" I say in disbelief.
"I was informed of the incident that occurred with you that night, and I' sorry that you lost your first and only child" she says.
"O-only c-child?" I ask with tears streaming down my face.
"Ms. Harper you have stage two ovarian cancer and seeing your body's condition, you've become infertile" she says and I freeze in shock. Her words ring through my head as I sit there.
Miscarriage.
Cancer.
Infertile.
© sandeep_xoxo All Rights Reserved
A/N:- Thanks for reading and thanks for the votes and the support. This chapter was very hard for me to write as i personally, am a very carefree, happy, always laughing kind of person and this was one of the very few times that i attempted to write with sorrow, emotion and dealing with the loss of someone.