Saturday, July 25, 2020
Washington, D.C.
I checked into my doctor's office by signing my name and explaining the reason for my visit before heading back to my seat near Braxton and Jay.
I didn't have a regular check up or anything for another two weeks, but I woke up this morning with slight spotting and cramping terribly. I didn't want to overreact and think the worst so I tried my best to remain calm. I was still very much worried though. I had no issues when I was pregnant with Braxton and I'm pretty sure it's not a good sign for to even be bleeding during a pregnancy.
Of course Jay was nervous as well. He was much more nervous than me but I tried keeping him calm too. He haven't said much to me since we've arrived, but he has made efforts to ask how I'm doing and if I was okay.
Braxton was in his own little world as he played a color and number game on my iPad. He's been into that a lot lately which I'm happy for because I had plans of putting him into school next month.
"Knowles. Beyoncé Knowles." I heard the nurse come out to the waiting area and yell. I grabbed my purse and held onto Braxton's hand as we followed her to the back. I looked behind me to check on Jay to see him close behind me as well. The look on his face displayed how nervous he was and it was starting to make me nervous too.
"Dr. Collins will be with you in one moment." The nurse said before walking out and closing the door behind her. I deeply sighed and looked over at Jay.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He was looking off into space, not really paying me any attention.
His eyes met mine and he gave me a soft smile, "I'm straight. Are you okay?"
I nodded my head, "Hopefully I will be."
"So you're not nervous? Are you still cramping?"
"Of course I'm nervous but I don't want to stress myself out more and cause more bleeding for whatever reason. And yeah, they aren't as bad as before but I'm still having them."
He nodded his head and went back to staring at the walls. I took this time to look at my son. I laughed because he was staring at me too.
"Why are you staring at me baby?" I asked him with my arms out. He walked over towards me and climbed into my lap. I watched as he continued playing on the iPad until my doctor came in.
"It's the beautiful Bey," Dr. Collins said as usual. He was forever complimenting me, but Jay didn't take that well. He slightly frowned and shot his eyes at me, "So you called saying this was an emergency so I tried my best to fit you in at a good time. What seems to be the issue?"
"So I woke up this morning and I was bleeding and cramping. I don't know what to feel or what to do so I called you."
He looked at me and nodded his head, "Well that's definitely isn't a positive sign. I want you to lay back for me so I can take a look. And is this your boyfriend?" He asked, giving Jay a slight smile.
"Yeah, this is my boyfriend Shawn. Baby, this is my OBGYN, Dr. Collins." Dr. Collins held his hand out for Jay to shake and this nigga just looked at his hand like he was disgusted. I was so embarrassed. Now was not the time to be petty. Eventually, Jay shook his hand and we got things started.
He lifted up my shirt and placed the gel on my tummy. He used his device to move around my stomach as he looked at the screen.
"Oh wow. Well this is something new for me.. and for you too."
I became nervous and my palms began sweating. Braxton leaned against Dr. Collins looking at the screen like he knew what he was looking at.
"What's happening?" Jay asked. Thank God he did, because my tongue was tied and I didn't know what to say.
"It seems to me that you all were expecting twins. I didn't even notice a second fetus when you came to me the first time, but unfortunately, he or she didn't make it which is the cause of the cramping and bleeding."
My heart literally broke into pieces. I was so lost for words that I found myself ignoring everything Dr. Collins was saying and just going deep into my thoughts. Me? Twins? That was something I was definitely not expecting and to know that I miscarried made it even harder for me.
"Do you need to see the therapist?" Dr. Collins asked, looking down at me.
I slowly shook my head and wiped my tears, "I'm okay."
When I was pregnant with Braxton, I had fell into a slight depression and thankfully Dr. Collins noticed. He sent me to a therapist that worked in the same building that specialized in helping people dealing with trauma events when it comes to child bearing. This was something I failed to mention to anyone because I didn't want anyone to know that I was dealing with something like that.
"Therapist for what?" Jay asked. I totally forget he was here because he was so quiet.
I sat up and shook my head, "Nothing baby."
Dr. Collins sat up from his roller chair and pulled out my chart. He wrote some things down and then looked at me, "I'm going to prescribe you with a type of medication that will help with your cramping. It's completely safe for the baby and you'll be able to pick this up right after you leave here. Right now, I just want you to take things easy just to make sure that the baby in you right now is safe as well. Do less moving as possible. I would like to see you in two weeks for a regular check up and we'll go from there. That's cool?"
I nodded my head and grabbed my purse, "Thank you." I mumbled. Even though I didn't know I was carrying two kids and I wasn't able to get attached to my child, it still hurt the same. I said nothing to Jay as we left to go back home. All I wanted to do was sleep this pain away and hopefully I'll feel better when I wake up.
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I woke up hours later feeling much better, physically. My cramps were gone and I felt like I could finally move around again. I felt a little body next to me and knew Braxton was laying with me.
"Hi mommy." He greeted when I laid eyes on him.
"Hey baby," I kissed his nose and then his cute fat cheeks, "Did you take a nap with me?"
"Yes now we play."
I chuckled and helped him get off the bed. I walked into the living room to see Jay sitting on the couch on his MacBook. I sat next to him, not too close but not too far.
"Are you feeling a little better now?" He asked.
I slowly nodded my head, "I guess," I looked at his computer screen and saw him looking at houses, "What are you doing?"
"Looking at a couple of houses I think we'd like."
I really wasn't in the mood to discuss moving, but we did have to start soon. I didn't have very long to mess around.
He showed me a couple of houses and there was a few I liked but one definitely caught my eye. It was 5 bedrooms with 5 full bathrooms, a kitchen and a dining room, a living room, and also a nice front and back view. It had a nice, small swimming pool and jacuzzi in the backyard, and for the most part, there was a lot of space. I know whoever has to cut the grass will be livid, but it'll be nice for Braxton since he loved outside so much and was overly active.
"The others are nice but I like this one. You can call and ask about it." I told him, handing him back the computer.
"Word. And when you trying to move?"
"Well before August 10th. As soon as possible actually, but I have to try and sell everything here first. I just want to be able to relax when the time come before I have to start this new job, and I'll also have to look into putting Braxton in school too so yeah, it needs to be soon."
He nodded his head and leaned in to kiss my lips, "Don't stress about it. I'll handle everything."
"Are you sure this is what you want Jay? We have yet to test Corey and I'm scared of what the results will be."
He sighed and shook his head, "I don't know what to say about you."
"And I don't know what to say about you either. I've worked so hard to get on your good side by doing everything you ask that I didn't have time to be mad myself. Do you forget that you lied in my face about this entire Alexis situation?"
He frowned, "I lied? When?"
"So now you have amnesia but let me remind you Shawn. When I first came back to Houston and I found out about you and Alexis, you was very positive that Corey wasn't your son. You begged and pleaded for me to believe you. You told me that you were drunk and it was an one time thing and that you wrapped it up double, remember?"
He didn't say anything so I nudged his head, "I said, do you remember?"
"Don't put your hand on me Bey."
"But it's okay for you to do it to me? But you do remember right? And soon as the results come in saying that Corey is 99.9% yours, all of a sudden you're not sure if you wrapped it up or not. You're not sure if you had sex with my sister once or multiple times. Basically, I whooped my sister's ass for you because I thought she was the one lying but actually, it was you."
"I didn't lie, I just didn't remember," He yelled, "And if you think all of this, why the fuck do you want to test Corey for the second time? The results came in and he's mine, that's that. Why is that so hard to believe?"
"Because both you and Alexis is lying about something and I just want to know the truth. Did you or did you not wear a condom when y'all had sex?"
He looked at me and chuckled, "You kill me ma."
"Answer the question Shawn."
"Alexis and I had sex once. I did not lie about that, I just couldn't remember. And that one time we did have sex, yes Bey, I wore a condom."
I put my hands up, mimicking the Oprah Winfrey gif:
"Exactly, so tell me how Corey is 99.9% yours Shawn?"
This time he stared at the wall until he finally looked down, "I don't even know.."
I shook my head, "So are you dumb or are you dumb? Either you're lying or you're dumb. Pick one."
We stared at one another until he nodded his head, but he never said anything. The room got quiet until I remembered something else.
"And oh, let's not forget that just a couple of weeks ago, I asked her where Corey was and she said he was with his dad, but when I dropped Braxton off with you, Corey was nowhere to be found. Or maybe I'm tripping.. Nah, I'm not tripping. The bitch is playing you and like I said, either you're lying or you're dumb."
I did not want to sit here any longer and discuss this with him so I removed myself off the couch and headed back to my room. Hopefully this open his eyes to a lot of things and he'll finally be man enough to take another DNA test on Corey.
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Thanks for reading! Vote and comment!
How y'all feel about the miscarriage?
Is Beyoncé right or wrong for letting Jay know how she feel about the Alexis situation?
Again, are they emotionally stable enough to move back to Houston together or no?
So this creative mind of mine is alwaaaays working and I finally came up with something new😏Aside from the introduction part or whatever, I haven't written anything but I know exactly how I want this story to flow and I love it already. Hopefully y'all will too.
I'll make this public soon as This Christmas is done!