Has winter always been this dark? Fujino Aki thought as he stared out of the window. The Christmas environment had settled around Tokyo with lights decorating the whole city, still to Fujino's eyes, all those bright colors looked quite gray. A week had passed since the whole incident happened with the guy he had loved for two years, and now even thinking of his name was hurtful. He had seen Yanase walking around at Marukawa four days ago and judging from the ring he carried in his left hand, Aki guessed Ijuuin- sensei and Yuu- san had moved one step forward in their relationship. As much as it hurt to see it, he tried to convince himself that the most important thing was for Yuu to be happy even if it wasn't next to him.
People say that in order to forget a lost love, you needed to keep your mind busy and that had been what Fujino had been trying to do everyday. By now, he had probably completed three chapters worth of manga sketched ready to be taken by his assistants. Yuu was a great loss to his working team, but Kirishima- san had promised to find a new chief assistant in a matter of days, so it would probably be alright in the end.
He turned to see all the Za Kan volumes in his bookshelf, he had thought of throwing all of them away, but he stopped when he realized that the action would not change his current situation. If anything, he would be throwing his own money away. The clock indicated it was 5pm, it was still early yet it seemed like night had settled hours ago. He took a deep breath thinking that since it was friday, he could go out somewhere. He didn't know where exactly, but anywhere was fine to escape the horrible state of mind he was in. He put on one of the warmest jackets he owned planning on not returning home until late. He didn't want to drive, since it could be dangerous while he spaced out so much, so walking would have to do. Plus Fujino had always believed there's a certain pleasure in walking, seeing places and people around you helped your mind find some relief, not to mention that it was the perfect excuse to have some alone time.
He exited the apartment complex and headed west, knowing that if he went on that path, he would find the same shopping mall he had picked Yuu from a week ago when everything had gone down. He sighed thinking that he needed to force himself to face the reality of the matter even if hurt. The streets were crowded and he looked at all the people who happily played, skated or took pictures with their kids or with their significant others. Maybe he should accept one of the engagement meetings his mom had planned for him, maybe he should marry a nice lady and have family like everyone else did. Of course, he was not attracted to females, he had never been, but there was no need for his mother or his future bride to be, to know that fact. Still, it wasn't a bad idea, he knew he was attractive and probably marrying and having kids could fulfill a tiny part of his life.
He decided to give the idea more thought as he approached the shopping mall. The big Christmas tree along with the lights that decorated the streets were almost blinding. He has always like this festive season, in fact Christmas has always been his favorite holiday but this year it certainly felt really numb. He started to feel the cold wind freezing his cheeks and ears, he should've worn a hat, but it was too late to regret his clothing choice. Looking to his right, he found the coffee shop where had asked Yanase to wait for him the day the little guy had called him asking if he could visit his house. He entered the place and got surprised by how crowded the shop was. Still it looked like the tables next to the window offered a nice environment of privacy, and so he took a seat in one of the furthest tables. He knew this choice would keep him waiting since the waiters could barely see him there, but he definitely wasn't in a rush and he could wait. He checked the menu and decided what he wanted to have to ease the cold he was now feeling. He took his cellphone out to check social media and to check the sales of his manga when a sudden voice interrupted him "Excuse me, Fujino- sensei?" he turned to see a short guy who, for some reason, looked extremely familiar. "Yes?" he answered intrigued of where he had met this person before. But before he could figure that out, the guy spoke making him immediately remember where he had seen him "I'm Nakao Koji*, the seiyuu who was selected to play the main role on your work's anime adaptation" the guy said shyly. "Yes, thank you for your hard work" Fujino instantly replied giving a polite bow.
"Thank you, sensei" Nakao spoke "Do you mind if I sit here? It's just that anywhere else is taken" he asked still acting shy. "Of course, make yourself comfortable" Aki told the nervous- looking guy who kindly bowed and took a seat across the table. "I haven't ordered yet, so take your time choosing what you'll like to have" Fujino spoke offering a kind smile. Nakao smiled back as he took off his heavy jacket, scarf and hat. It was then that Fujino was finally to fully recognize him. The guy had given a marvelous audition and he had been picked for the main role almost by unanimous decision with only one person disagreeing. Fujino watched as Koji placed his clothes aside and picked the menu, clearly Nakao was really a gifted guy. His features were a little childlike, but his black hair, defined eyebrows and thin smile were definitely cute. "What will you order?" Koji asked making Fujino flustered hoping that the guy hadn't caught him staring. "A capuccino" Aki answered with a flat tone. "Great, I'll have that too then" Koji said with a smile, that's when Fujino noticed the blue tone of Nakao's eyes. He had never seen someone having a blue color in their eyes that resembled so much his own.
A waiter approached them with a smile asking what they would like to eat. They ordered the food and silence slowly started to settle between them. Fujino looked out the window once again submerging into the sad thoughts that filled his head. To say that those ideas were uncomfortable, was a huge understatement. "So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Nakao asked as their waiter set their drinks and cakes on the table. The question had taken Aki by surprise, but he was grateful that the seiyuu had broken him out of his sad mental state. "Nothing, really...I don't have any plans. What about you?" he asked politely, almost instantly regretting it, seeing the actor's expression saddening. "Well, I don't have plans either...my family is going away to Miyazaki and I was too late to find plane tickets, so I'll be staying in Tokyo by myself" Koji spoke in a low tone with his gaze down fixated on his cup. "I see, I'm sorry about that" Fujino said thinking how weird it was that someone would be left behind by their own family on Christmas, and that it was even weirder that they had bought plane tickets and hadn't bought one for the Koji in the first place.
Trying to avoid the subject of his family leaving without him, Fujino asked why had he decided on auditioning for the role on the Invincible anime and how he felt about it. Nakao answered every question with a smile on his face, even mentioning that he owned every volume of Invincible that has ever been put to sale. Fujino was glad to find out that the person who would be giving life to his beloved main character was a fan of the manga itself, it sure meant that he would put a lot of effort into his role. As the hours passed, no more awkward silence settled between them and before Aki knew it, it was close to midnight already, meaning he had to go back home.
He called the waiter to ask for the bill, which the kind guy delivered almost immediately. He checked the total amount of his and Nakao's meal ready to pay for it all. But before he could move a finger, Nakao had already placed his own credit card and ID on top of the bill. "It's on me. As a thank you for having letting me sit with you and for your company" the polite guy spoke, it may have been the lights, but Fujino was almost sure he had seen a soft shade of pink painting Nakao's cheeks. "Well, thank you very much...for the meal and for the pleasant conversation" Aki said honestly. He had been in a very dark mood, but thanks to Nakao, he had been nicely distracted and he was certainly feeling better now. They exited the coffee shop in silence, there were still some people left on the streets, mainly couples to be exact. Christmas was just three days away, so it was obvious that people were doing last minute shopping. "Nice seeing you, sensei. Have a good evening" Koji said kindly with a bow. "You too, Nakao- kun" Fujino said as he saw the voice actor turning away to leave.
An idea crossed his mind and he instantly tried to eliminate it. Being honest with himself, he hadn't enjoyed a conversation so much in a good while, and the opportunity seemed perfect. "Nakao- kun" he called against his own mind's warnings. The seiyuu turned around immediately with a flustered look as in thinking he had forgotten something. "Neither of us have plans for Christmas...so would you like to come to my place on Christmas' Eve? I can't promise to have a great party, but I can prepare dinner or something" he said feeling a tad bit nervous about Nakao's answer. Despite the thick scarf that covered his face, Fujino was able to notice Koji forming a smile with his eyes sweetly turning into crescent moons. He instinctively smiled back still waiting for an answer. "I'd love to, thank you so much" Nakao replied. He then turned again, this time leaving for sure. Fujino saw as the guy walked away, nervously but anxiously waiting for Christmas' Eve to arrive.
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*Nakao's name was first mentioned in Specks of Light: Part Seven. Chapter 6: Can't Wait.
Thank you once again for reading Specks of Light, and for all your questions and love!!
Love you all ^.^
Dayu- sensei