Ara: I haven't fully uploaded in a long time...
Nagisa: how long has it been Ritsu?
Ritsu: if you count from August 14, the celebratory side chapter, 5 months and 19 days!
Ara: *spits out drink at Used tampon*
Karma: 5... months...?
Ara: Ritsu start it while I make my escape *bolts out the door*
Ritsu: hai! Ara-chan and Chicken Nugget-chan do not own Assassination classroom/ ansatsu kyoushitsu! Now let's start the show!
Karma: Ara get your ass back here! *runs after her*
Nagisa: who will win? Place your bets here!
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"(L/n)(Y/N) and Akabane Karma..." I felt his bloodlust radiating off of him in waves. "What have you done to me?!" He turned around as I saw his giant head and his high-pitched voice setting in.
"Wow, it actually worked..." Karma teased as I pushed a ruler into Korosensei's head.
"T-That's not normal helium... what is it?" Okuda asked as the ruler went into Korosensei's head.
"Liquid Helium." I informed as I tied some rope (Ara: h-how did she get the rope...? Nagisa: maybe offset...) around Korosensei's tentacles as he started floating off the air.
"What have you done to me?! Get me down this instant!" Korosensei yelped as his head was getting bigger.
"I'll have to pop your head then, looks like you work as a balloon instead of taking it and only having a squeaky voice like humans." I pulled out a needle and I swear I saw fear in Korosensei's eyes as he ate the needle.
"Korosensei..."
"Yes?" He turned to me with puppy dog eyes (Ara: he probably learned it from Tamaki) as I cringed.
"Why did you eat the needle?"
"B-Because a needle is dangerous to have around!" Korosensei flustered as the class sweatdropped.
"You do realize we have guns, right?" Nagisa implied as Korosensei flinched.
"Y-Yes, but those are just toys compared to--" I interupted Korosensei's denial as I cut myself with one of the knifes. "(Y-Y/n)-san!"
"What? I thought you said that they were just toys?" I acknowledged as I let the blood drip from my wrist. "But why does it not hurt?"
"(Y/n)-san! You should know that those weapons harm people like us!" Korosensei popped his head and appeared in front of me with a first aid kit.
"...People like... us?" I questioned as he stopped bandaging for a moment. "Korosensei-- no, Grim Reaper, what are you saying?" (Ara: so just a heads up for those people that will type in the comments saying "didn't you say it was God of death in the first chapter?" to which I say, you actually pay attention to this shitty book? Now that's commitment. (I messed up, it was Grim Reaper; I swear on my life they said God of Death in the anime) but that's all for now)
"(Y/n)-san-- I mean, (assassin name), are we even human anymore? I'm a giant yellow octopus while you can't be killed by anything! We're basically mon--" I cut off his tentacle holding my wrist and bandaged up the rest.
"I don't want to hear that word ever again, octopus." I warned, taking my bag and leaving for the day.
??? POV (Ara: woah! I'm actually bringing back pov's?? Karma: what the hell, it's the end of the world! Ara: wow, how nice of you to put it Used Tampon)
We watched (Y/n) as she walked out of the building. "Can I kill her now?" I look over at Itona as his eyes flared with hatred.
"Yes." As soon as I gave the command, he jumped off the tree branch and tried to hit her as she cut off his tentacle in a flash.
"Wow, never thought I would live to see you again." (Y/n) taunted as Itona growled and ran back to me. "Already done? I really wanted to see Shiro-san too!"
"Tch. You monster..." (Ara: watch there will be comments saying it's actually Levi...) Seeing her agitated face, I escaped silently with Itona catching her last words.
"You shouldn't have done that Shiro..." (Karma: really Ara-chan? BEN drowned? Ara: why not?)
~Timeskip brought to you by Korosensei's wet dreams about Bitch-sensei and Aguri Yukimura!~ (Karma: you sick fuck! Korosensei: how could you Ara-san! Ara: not my problem and language you Used Tampon fucker!)
(Y/n)'s POV
"Good morning, everyone." AFTA-san greeted.
"The deal is that you not harm any of your students, but now upgrades will be considered "harm". The same goes for you." I watched as Karasuma pointed out Terasaka. "If you tie her up or break her, you'll be asked to pay damages. These are her owners' wishes. We have to comply."
"Owners? I don't know. I'd like to put my student's feelings first, not her parents'." Korosensei hinted while scratching his head as I let my head fall down onto my desk.
"Um... (Y/n)-san? You okay?" Nagisa asked as I moved my head to look at him.
"Sleepy..." I mumbled before falling asleep. (Ara: were you actually sleepy when we did this? (Y/n): of course, you kept me up with your screaming and crying! Ara: ah, sorry!)
I opened one eye to see flower petals falling everywhere as I sat up and looked at AFTA. "I promised I'd make flowers. Korosensei made 985 improvements to my body. My master judged most of them irrelevant to assassination and removed them, deleted them, and restored my factory defaults. But what I have learned of the E Class, I myself decided that my ability to cooperate was essential to assassination, so before it was deleted, I hid it in a corner of memory inside a related piece of software." AFTA declared.
"Wonderful! Ritsu, this must mean..." Korosensei started.
"Yes: I have defied my master of my own free will!" AFTA affirmed as I leaned over to Nagisa and Kayano.
"Ritsu?" I questioned.
"That's her new name! We took it from Autonomous (jiritsu)!" Kayano explained as I hummed in acknowledgement.
"Nice one!" Karma said, as I realized why he said that. (Ara: why? Karma: she became a rebel! Ara: I should've known you would agree to that instead of the flowers...)
"Korosensei, does this mean I'm in a rebellious phase? Am I a bad girl?" Ritsu mumbled. (Ara: why did this sound so dirty to me the first time I heard this? Karma: because you have a dirty mind? Ara: you've finally enlightened me on my problem and for that I thank you Used tampon! Karma: oh shut it!)
"Not at all! You're a third-year junior-high student, and a fine one at that!" Korosensei boasted and made his "correct" face while the flower petals rained down.
*bonus*
"Karasuma! Karasuma! Is it true that adding a face will make me popular?" I watched as Bitch-sensei pushed up her boobs and had red lipstick smeared into a face on them.
"That's just creepy..." I grimaced, rolling up the magazine and hitting her head with it. "See you later Karasuma-sensei!"
"(Y/n)-san! You're dead when I catch you!" I sprinted out of the campus as Bitch-sensei screamed many profanities at me.
"Now!" I yelled, signalling Karma to pull the rope. Bitch-sensei flew into the net as I stopped running and mocked her.
"I'll get you back for this (Y/n)-san!" Bitch-sensei announced as Karma took a stick and poked her arm. "And stop poking me asshole!"
"We'll see about that. See you in the morning!" I walked away laughing like a maniac at Bitch-sensei's screams.
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Ara: aaaaand we're onto the next one!
Karma: I want at least 2 full episodes this month Ara-san
Ara: 2?! But that'll kill me with my homework!
Karma: then don't make so many empty promises
Ara: you make it sound so easy
Karma: yeah, now I'm an adult following a 15 year old girl that only complains!
Ara: so you want to leave? I can do that
Karma: wait, let's think about this before we regret things
Ara: you changed quick... but anyways, I guess I'll see you next assassination?
Karma: you're making it sound like a question
Ara: bai bai!~
Karma: why you always say those wor--
Ara: BITE ME