When I woke up he was standing there. I couldn't see his eyes. I had no idea who it was. I just sat there staring back. After a few he sat down on the floor. I didn't know what to do or say. he was so quiet.
"Didn't you miss being mine"? He asks.
I was taken back. this not something. I thought he would ask me.
"Why are you asking me about that"? I asked in almost a whisper.
"Because you belonged to me", "you knew that". "Then you moved on without my consent". He says
I still had no idea who it was Bill or Billy.
"I ran away because of what you did". "I wanted to save myself". I whisper out.
"I know I messed up". "that still didn't give you the right to run away". "Did it"? Bill asks
I knew it was Bill who asked me the question. Wait he knows he messed up. I wonder if the means that or not.
"What was I supposed to do"? I ask
"What you promised". "Or did you forget". Bill asks
No, I didn't forget. I whispered.
"You made a promise and a vow to me". "that still means something to me". "you belong to me". "If you would have remembered that". "we wouldn't be where we are today". "You wouldn't be sitting in his cage". "When you broke your vow", and promise". "it made it where I can't trust you". "Cheyanne, "I thought I would always be able to trust you". "I never thought you could walk away from us". Bill says
I started crying. he was right. I did this to myself. I will live caged. He will never believe me again. once you break Bill's trust its lost for good. I look up to meet his eyes.
"Sweets he is right and you know it". "when you ran away". "You hurt both of us". "what Bill did was wrong". "He was punished for it". "you have no idea what he has gone through". "You promised you would love us no matter what". "How could you walk away so easily"? Billy asks
"DO YOU THINK IT WAS EASY"? I yell
I shocked him. he wasn't expecting me to yell. How could he think getting over him was easy? It ripped me in two. I was more alone than I have ever been. He meant everything to me. I would have taken a bullet for him. I loved him more than he will ever know. he saved me more times than I can count. I came to the front of the cage. I locked eyes with him.
"It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me". "it was a nightmare being on my own". "I was lonely, scared and alone". "I had no one and you knew that". "you fucked up". "you knew I needed you". "I broke my vow and promise but so did you". "you swore to me". "I would never be alone again". "you didn't even send help". "You broke me more than anyone". "How could you think all that was easy"? "You were everything to me". "I gave you my virginity". "I tattooed my left hand". "I got collared and married to you". "how could you think for one second"? "That walking away from you was easy". "Both of you should know me better than that". how could you expect me to be alone forever? "You knew me". "you knew I couldn't handle it". "I need love just like any other person". "I might have hurt you, "but you damn near killed me". "You have no idea how close I was to killing myself. I say through the tears pouring out of my eyes.
"What"? Billy asks shocked
"You heard me" I stutter out. I am crying hard
"How close"? Billy asks
"I was standing in front of a mirror". "with the knife to my throat". "Crying my eyes out because I was alone". "If I couldn't have you". "I wanted to be dead". "Billy, I couldn't cope". I tell him the tears keep coming.
"What stopped you"? Billy asks
"YOU"! I shouted
"How did I stop you"? Billy asks confused
"There was one promise I made you". "I wasn't going to break". I tell him
"Thank you" Billy says sincerely
"welcome" I whisper out
He stood up and walked up the stairs. I could hear the lock. I hope he heard me. I hope he figures out that he is at fault to. that he hurt me as much as I hurt him. I just push myself all the way back. I put my head on the side of the cage. Closed my eyes. wishing to be free of this cage. The only way out is in my dreams.