Adriana's POV
My eyes shot open as sweat tricked down my forehead; what time was it?
I slightly turn to see my surroundings and find that Dante was sleeping besides me while Ilaria was in her small cushion that was placed between us. I turned over to my right and caught Ilaria wide awake. I place my hand on her tiny stomach and as soon as I did, Ilaria cooed and began to wave her limbs around.
I watched Ilaria for a brief second and contemplate the ways to keep her safe, there was no way we were going to just sit back and watch while we wait for something to happen. Dante has many informants about Destefano but doesn't really tend to them because he doesn't want that attention. He does not want Destefano's attention as it would only put us in danger. As long as Destefano was not here, we were fine.
Even though a small part of me wants to know where he is and where he has been all these years, I always try to stay away. I dismiss those thoughts and feeling immediately because I understood how dangerous it is for me and my daughter.
"Are you okay?"
My thoughts were cut short when Dante's croaky voice interrupted me; I glance up and find him facing me as he rubbed his eyes. When I didn't answer, he sat up and switched on his lamp. For some reason, I didn't feel well so I stood up and stretched a little.
"Yeah... I'm fine. Ilaria needs to be changed and fed but before I do that, I'm going to use the restroom."
"Okay Gattina." He croaked again before he settled his attention on Ilaria who was, for some reason, very loud at this time of the night.
I walked away to the restroom feeling a very unsettling burn spread across my chest. When I reached the restroom, I stood in front of the mirror and watched my reflection as silence filled my ears.
Truth was after witnessing the events of today, I couldn't help but feel so threatened.
I used the restroom and washed my hands and waited for a couple of moments to compose myself as I didn't to show Dante any signs of fear or worry. Thinking of him, I anticipated him to fall right back to sleep.
But as I walked out, I saw Dante attempting to change Ilaria's diaper but in his sleep. He was naked from the waist and top while he had her baby gro on his shoulder. Both his hands were on either sides of his hips as it looked like he was figuring out what to do. I almost nearly laughed but stopped as I wanted to see more. I could see Ilaria's feet waving around as she whimpered and cooed.
It was at this moment that I felt like all my worries had lifted from my shoulders because this just reminded me of what I have and will have forever. All I wanted to do right now was tell Dante how much I appreciate him for giving me everything I wanted. I wanted to tell him endlessly and love him so much until it hurt, but even if it did hurt I wouldn't care.
I stifled a laugh when Dante cursed under his breath as he scratched the back of his head. I was wrong to think that Dante didn't hear me because when I laughed, Dante glanced over his shoulder and his face dropped.
"Do you want me to do it?"
"Sì per favore." He said sheepishly,
I took Ilaria's clothes off him and began to dress her while she fretted. Even though I had already slept, I was so tired and so was my baby so I decided to feed her and then try and get some more sleep.
Once she was dressed, I grab her and pull her towards my chest as I sat down on my side of the bed. However, before I could get to the bed Dante reach there before me. When I glanced at him, he gave me a side-ways smirk, even in his sleepy form.
I raised my brows up at him as Ilaria cooed in my arms.
"What? I like to keep my family close."
"Dante, will you let me feed Ilaria in peace?"
"Hmm..." He hummed with his croaky voice, "Yes. Only if you come and lay here with her."
My gaze shifted of his hand where he was indicating me to lay: it was right on his chest. My heart swelled as a sense of intimacy rushed to my blood when I watched Dante give me a small smile. Ilaria's tiny hand was wrapped around my thumb when I climbed on the bed and positioned myself comfortably against Dante's chest. Once I did, Dante settled on the his pillow and released a nonchalant sigh while I was feeding Ilaria.
"You know, I still can't believe she's here." I hummed as I caress her cheeks. Dante lifted his head from the headboard and looked over my shoulder to watch Ilaria just having her feed. He chuckled before he placed both his hands on my stomach, under Ilaria.
"Sì, my bambina made a grand entrance, just as how her papa would've done."
I glance over my shoulder and look at him as I gave him a small frown before he just pecked my lips and laughed.
After what felt like eternity, Ilaria finally finished her feed and fell right asleep after I burped her. Last few weeks, she has been sound and sleeping like nothing would wake her up however, today was a different day. She took longer than she normally takes to fall asleep but maybe that's because Dante and I were both talking while trying to put her to sleep. She would stare at the both of us wide-eyed as we spoke and occasionally, I would catch her sticking her tongue out.
I gently place her in her cushion-bed that was placed next to us while I returned back to Dante and snuggled myself deeper onto his chest.
"What's the matter Gattina? You seem so hushed and needy."
I lift my head slightly to catch him watching me with a determined look while I just blink a couple of times before I return back to his chest.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I just feel like... we..should be more..cautious.." I confess,
"Is this about Constantino?" He asked and I slowly nodded my head against his chest as the rhythm of his heart beat was the only source that was keeping me calm.
"Adriana, I understand that you have a lot of questions and suspicions and so do I but this is Constantino; we have no idea what he is up to. Therefore, since he is here we cannot really let him go like that."
"I don't want you to abandon him, he is your father. I just... I'm thinking about Ilaria here. I don't want people like your father as well as mine to be anywhere near her."
"Constantino is placed in the safe house so there is no way he will get to her or you, not without having to deal with my security first. My men are circulating the hideout just so he doesn't escape."
Even though it was bad that he was doing this to his own father, it was a worthy exception. Relief settled in my chest just for the safety of my daughter; that man was a danger to us. Constantino is just as dangerous as Destefano and so I have to be selfish here and protect Ilaria at all costs.
"Destefano will not get any access to you or Ilaria and even if he does, he will be dead for real this time."
My whole body froze on top of his as I contemplate the thought of that; what if Dante one day come back to the estate informing me that he had just killed my father? I nodded my head against his chest and close my eyes for a second. After a few moments of silence, Dante spoke once again.
"Adriana, I know this is something you made clear that you want to stay away from but due to current situation, I don't think it's possible."
"What do you mean?" I hum against his chest as sleep was suddenly taking over my body,
"Since Constantino is back, we have to do a little digging on the whereabouts between the last time we saw him until now. While we do our reasearch, we can potentially come across Destefano and therefore, we will have to work on it. We have reason to believe that Constantino might've been in touch with Destefano while he was hiding from us." He explains while I remain silent and suddenly, my sleep had definitely disappeared. After a moment of more silence, Dante speaks. "Is that alright with you?"
I wrapped my arms around Dante's torso and wrap my leg over his before I nod my head against his chest again.
"Do what you need to do, I'm not going to stop you." I say as I get comfortable again, "As long as you're here to protect us."
Dante wrapped his arms around me and placed a kiss on my head.
"Of course Adriana, sarò sempre qui."
***
Ever since I've returned from the hospital, most of my time was spent looking after and resting with Ilaria. As I had a huge operation, the doctor advised me to rest as much as I could. Ilaria was perfectly fine and the more I watch her, the more I felt like this kind of pain I was experiencing right now was all worth it.
Each day that passes, my love for my daughter blooms into something I thought was impossible. I love her so much that it hurts. The thought of leaving her breaks my heart, even as little being away from her for an hour. I feel like I can't live without her, my daily activities have to include her and even if she was not under my care, I would always think about her.
A huge smile spread across my face as I watch Ilaria wide awake once again, which was one of my favourite times, and wave her tiny limbs around in the air as I change her diaper. When Ilaria was awake, I felt entertained because I would discover something new about her every time. Anything she does would be a stepping stone to me and so, I would cheer in front of her while she glances at me in confusion.
It was hilarious but absolutely adorable simultaneously.
Once her diaper was changed, it was her nap time. I've been trying to get her to get used to a routine so it gives me enough time to get things done throughout the day. For instance, since Christmas is around the corner I wanted to decorate the tree with Mia and the rest of them. If Ilaria slept, she would give me enough time to prepare.
As I stood up from the couch, I nearly stumbled back when I was startled by the herd of people approaching me.
"Happy birthday Adriana!"
My heart palpitated in my chest for a second when I watch the family walk towards me, everything was happening all at once I couldn't fathom it. There was a cake, a few balloons and a lot of family members and it intimated me because I've never experienced something so intimate before. I've had my fair share of birthday parties back when I was young however, they were all planned by my father and therefore, it wasn't something I'd have or something special to me purely for the reason that my birthday parties would turn into Destefano's business deals. This was something totally different because it was something I would do myself: small and intimate.
"Oh my God." I gasp as I hold Ilaria, "This is insane you guys... you didn't have to do this but thank you."
"Are you kidding me?" Mia said as she brought forward the cake, "Come on, make a wish."
My eyes widened when she brought forward a huge round cake which was decorated with fresh cream, my favourite. There was also two candles representing my age designated at the centre of the cake while there was a message written for me.
I make a wish and then blow my candle out.
I glance back at everyone and smile at them as they wish me happy birthday, however mom and Rosalina was absent.
I had no idea why but today, I felt really emotional and moved by this gesture. I knew Dante had informed them about this day because as far as I could remember, I hadn't told anyone this. Dante knew that my birthdays were the worse days for me as Antonio would make it a living day like he would everyday. Just my birthday, he would go the extra mile every year. Some years, he would forget that it was my birthday and because he'd forgotten, I would have to deal with the consequences because I didn't remind him.
Antonio told me a lot of things and one of them was that he cared about me a lot. I believed him to some extend; Antonio only cared about me for himself. He couldn't live without me and it was fact.
"buon compleanno bella, you know we would never miss it in a million years."
"Thank you Tony." I smiled at him,
"Bella, right now we want to give you some time with our brother but don't think you've gotten rid of us yet. We will be back with your present. For now, we're taking this cake to keep ourself busy." Tony said as he took the cake from Mia and began to eye it like he was going to wreck it any second now. Before they all took off, they glanced at Dante who seemed agitated.
Once they all left, the lounge was quiet. Although there was nothing to be awkward about, there was an awfully awkward silence between us because Dante was definitely not acting like himself. What the hell happened to him?
"Dante, what is going on?" I ask as I hold Ilaria in my arm, who was still wide awake.
Dante bit his lips and then reached me and once he did, he embraced me despite the fact that Ilaria was between us.
"Happy birthday baby." He said. "Happy twenty seventh birthday."
I chuckled against him before we both pull away.
"Thank you Dante," I chuckled again and then look at Ilaria, "can you believe I'm twenty seven? Mama is twenty seven huh? Isn't that old?" I coo as I bring Ilaria close to my face and plant a kiss on her cheek, she just smiled at the close contact and then cooed back at me.
I was too focused on Ilaria that I had no idea what Dante was up to, he was so quite when I glanced up at him and as I did, my heart dropped. It was then I realised that we were no longer alone in the room, well physically we were but I knew everyone was watching us from the kitchen because I could just feel their eyes burning on us.
Dante stood in front of me with a small white box wrapped between his fingers as he watched me with nothing but trepidation; it was as if he had known from the start that this was not something I had expected.
"Adriana, we lost many years that we should have spent together and it hurts me the most that I have to do this, this late. If circumstances were different, I would've done this years ago because I know exactly what I want. I'm grateful to even do this right now because I'll have you either way."
My heart hammered in my chest as I watch Dante in a state of shock however, I don't think he realised this. If this was years ago, I would have had a different reaction. My eyes welled up when I saw the smile on his face appear just a few second ago and I knew exact then what he was about to do.
"I want to make you mine forever by giving this to you," He said as he revealed what was in the white case, I kept my eyes on Dante and prevented myself from looking at it. I can't do this.
I can't do this.
"Adriana, will you-"
"Oh..." I gasped while my eyes were full of my hot tears, already falling. I shook my head repeatedly while I stepped back, Dante watched me in horror as I refused. The smile on his face was ripped away from his face when I shook my head, giving everyone the shock. I choked back a cry and looked at Dante, "I-I'm so-sorry..." I whispered before I turned and walked up the stairs with Ilaria, crying my eyes out.
Once I reached the top of the stairs, I ran to the room and locked myself in with Ilaria. Once I reached the bed, I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out more than I ever did.
Dante just asked me to marry him and I ran away...
It's not a lie when I say that I want to marry that man but unfortunately, I've learned that I actually cannot do it. Marriage was something to be committed to in which I would find no problem in doing but after experiencing betrayal after betrayal, I've lost all hopes and trust.
I do trust Dante, I trust him with all my life but for some reason, I couldn't do it. I had no idea how to react as well considering the fact that everyone was watching us too.
Ilaria began to fret on the bed as I left her alone, I reached her and lay besides her further feeling my heart shatter as the guilt soon settled in.
"Baby, I'm sorry for what I did." I cry as I place my hand on her stomach, "I have no idea why I did what I did but that doesn't mean I don't love him."
Ilaria screeched in return as she began to wave her limbs around and that was when I felt as though I've had enough.
I wanted to start over again.
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Edited April 2020