SEVEN: Night terrors
"D E S C R I B E it," Martin said.
I didn't answer and only continued to stare out the window and at the packs of runners below us. They ran to a beat; one, two, one, two, one, two – it was almost soothing. It had been once. I leaned my weight against the edge of the wall and folded my arms. This wasn't going to be easy.
"Lincoln?" Martin asked.
I cleared my throat and allowed my eyes to drop a little at the thought of my recent sleepless nights. "They start off the same," I began but didn't elaborate. I didn't like repeating those aspects. "But instead Emily's there – and I can see her in the distance and she's shouting at me for help, but I can't get to her. I try – goddamn it, I try but things keep getting in my way and she's always crying..."
My eyes closed and I breathed out a stiff breath.
"You're afraid of not being there for her?" he asked.
I nodded my head silently. "And how long has it been since you last saw her?"
"A week – I keep putting it off – I just told Bobby I was busy and couldn't make some scheduled meetings."
I turned towards Martin to see him watching me with his professional eyes. I wanted to make a joke, but the words got caught somewhere in my throat.
"I barely know her, Martin, but the thought of anything happening between us terrifies me. I didn't think it would, but it does, it really, really does." I licked my lips nervously.
As I returned to the chaise and lied back down, Martin began speaking. His words were comforting to an extent but nothing new to me. I was damaged goods and there was no other way of sugar coating it.
"...shutting anyone out will not benefit anyone, Lincoln," he said gently.
I chuckled stiffly. "I beg to differ," I said in return.
Martin shot me a look before glancing down at his notes. "Mr. McMillian has informed me about a gallery opening Miss Margot will be attending tonight, do you intend on accompanying her?" he asked.
Surprisingly, Martin hadn't mentioned one word about his disapproval of our sort-of-relationship.
I shook my head. "No, I don't think I'll be going," I answered.
Martin had the perfect poker face and gave nothing away.
"Has Emily tried to get in contact with you?" he asked.
I nodded my head. "Twice," I answered. "She left a message, I think."
Martin licked his lips then nodded slowly. I didn't listen to anything after that – not because I didn't respect Martin, but because I just couldn't. I was exhausted beyond reason from the complete lack of sleep I had gotten in the past week, and nothing I did or didn't do helped.
In other words; I was absolutely fucked.
A/N
Hello!
Hope you all liked the chapter and as always, thank you so much for the massive support.
Steff xx