I knock twice on the frame of Megan's door. "Hey," I smile, stepping in. "How was your day?"
She looks at me and I flinch. She's wrapped in covers, cocooned around her tablet. She looks like a ball of pre-pubescent angst and rage, and the vibes she's giving off gas me out of the room. I resist the urge to swat at the miasma as I stumble backwards.
I thought I had a bad day.
"Is dinner ready?" she asks, of course in her commander voice.
I nod.
She looks away. "Alright then." She turns herself and her cocoon away from my presence. A silent command to leave her be. I can only assume she's coming down soon. Assume being the operative word.
I comply. After all, that's how I was just two hours ago, and Michael's antics didn't make it any better. As I'm leaving, I hear her resume her usual facetime chat with her old friend. They've been close since two or three moves ago, which is good. It's a sign that the friendship will last. Megan sighs, "Girl, let me tell you. These men just want a piece of me or something."
My eyes fly open.
"Girl, I've been trying to tell you. They're only after one thing."
I nearly fly back into the room. I barely keep myself back from the doorway. What do these children know?
"What's that?" Megan asks.
Her friend, Peggy, laughs. "I don't know. The girl didn't say it on Enchanted."
I sigh, my faith in humanity restored. I can't take anymore "surprises," so I keep moving quickly. I make my way downstairs, following the path Michael already took the second Mom screamed, "Dinner's ready."
I'm still getting used to the house, the way it takes some time to. I remember with the old house how quickly I could run down the stairs on autopilot. My body naturally anticipated every step, avoided every creaking part or chip or nail. It just knew. I just knew.
Now, here, I carefully take each step one by one. I hold the railing. I stare down at my feet, watching myself. I can't trust myself to walk. I turn, knowing where everything is but at the same time not quite knowing where everything is. It's like my body is thinking, "Okay this is nice, but when do we go home?"
There, it would've been a left to get to the kitchen from the bottom of the stairs. Now it's a right.
Somehow it makes me sad that in just a few more days, I'll forget the change. I'll get used to the steps. I'll let go of the railing and trust myself in this new place like I'd never known any other home or town or place. And in a year, I'll do the same thing when I leave here. I've mastered the art of moving, and I hate it somehow.
I nearly step on Charlie's legos. They're littered all across the hallway.
"Mia, that one," he smiles and reaches his hand out.
I shake my head and laugh. "Aren't we supposed to be eating?"
"But Megan's not down yet," he pouts.
I do as he asks, bending down and grabbing a red piece.
"Blue!"
"Oh, sorry," I reach for a piece not far away from me. I stand up and walk towards him.
He shakes his head violently. "I changed my mind. The red is better." He smiles innocently.
This is how it always starts. I hold onto the blue lego and grab the red one as well. I bring the red one to him.
He narrows his eyes. "... Mia, are you stealing my lego?"
Omg. "No, I'm holding onto it in case you change your mind."
"In your pocket?" he quirks his head to the side.
I didn't realize I was under interrogation. I cross my arms. "I'm not stealing it," I say indignantly. "I'll give it to you when you need it. I just didn't want to have to walk back and forth."
He keeps his eyes narrowed and raises his hand towards me, the one without the red lego. "Mhm. Well I need it now."
I can't believe this boy. So much for family. "Do you need anything else?" I ask half-heartedly, walking around him towards the kitchen.
"I think I'm amazing," he says, his eyes still looking at me, skeptical. That's his new way of saying I'm good. He says good isn't good enough when it comes to construction. None of us, besides Michael, has had the heart to tell him that it doesn't quite have the same meaning.
"Okay," I say. "Suit yourself."
"I will. I think that's enough building for today, anyway." He stands up and runs past me to the kitchen. "Oh, and Mia." He stops in the arched opening, just before he turns the corner.
"Yes, Charlie?"
He smiles so innocently and sweetly. "I count my legos."
A chill runs down my spine. I hesitate. I look at the piles and piles of pieces. There's no way right? I stare at a yellow piece not too far away from me. I decide against it. I've seen horror movies start like this.
I step around the corner. Michael is reaching over Mom, trying to get a piece of what's in the pot on the stove. She swats him away, but Dad's on the other side, reaching too.
"Why don't you get out of your work clothes? Get comfortable?" she gestures towards his suit and tie.
"By the time I do that, there'll be nothing left!" He grabs a fried plantain, splits it in half, and tosses part of it over her to Michael.
Charlie whines at his feet. Dad smiles and hands his half over, leaving nothing for himself. Michael naturally doesn't consider this and chows down on his piece.
"Stop it, it's not even ready." Mom looks at them exasperatedly.
"But you said it was ready," Michael talks with his mouth open.
She nearly smacks him with the wooden spoon. "I said that because I thought it would take you forever to get off of Morph, and Megan forever to get off of facetime, and Charlie forever to get done with his spaceship, and you," she points at my Dad, "to get home from work, and Mia forever to get done with her playlist."
Dad tries to sneak another plantain.
I shake my head, trying not to laugh. Mom sounds just like Dad when he's cooking breakfast.
Megan walks down with her hands on her hips, standing firmly. "What is going on here?"
Mom looks at all of us, disappointedly, and steps to the side. "Fine, eat your raw food." She doesn't move fully to the side though. She grabs her own bowl and starts grabbing. "Me first!" She smiles.
We all gasp, shocked. Taken advantage of. We look at each other and pounce. Michael hands out bowls, Megan snatches utensils. Charlie calmly seats himself expecting to be fed, the prince he is. Dad falls for it. Sucker.
I grab a plantain, some bouillon, and take a bite standing up. I want to cry. It's so good. This is just what I needed.
###
If dinner time was just what I needed, going to school the next morning was just what I didn't. I want to groan as Michael pulls into the parking lot. I try to keep it in so he doesn't worry. It wasn't serious. That's what I said, so I better act like it.
"Alright, you are a strong independent Black woman who don't need no whatever made you upset yesterday," Michael rubs my shoulders like I'm a boxer in the corner.
I shrug him off. "Get off of me." I look at the scene he's causing, like always, unaware. "Just have fun in your classes."
"I won't," he grins. "See you at lunch." He puts his hand up as he walks away.
I wave even though he can't see me. Don't leave me. I sigh and head towards gym. I'm a lot earlier than yesterday. Maybe that's why Axel and Carson are waiting outside the doors.
Axel looks up at me, taking a step closer. "Mia."
I try to side-step him, but he gets in my way. "Listen to me. It's not what you think."
"No, it's not what you think. Get out of my way and stop talking to me." I try to walk around him.
He grabs my arm. I stare at him like he's lost his mind. I'm half convinced I've got the triplet wrong and he's Carson. But Carson is far away, right in front of the double doors. He's looking at me from the corner of his eyes, but he doesn't seem like he wants to talk. He doesn't seem like he wants anything to do with me.
"We're not trying to..." Axel looks for words. "Take advantage of you. I know that the three of us talking at the same time might come off as weird but there's an explanation."
"Oh yeah, like what?" I glare at him.
"Well," he starts. "We hangout together almost all the time, so if you hangout with one of us, you're basically agreeing to hangout with the other two. That's all it was."
I keep walking.
"And," he continues. "Carson wasn't saying to go back to our house. There are usually activities around town that a lot of people participate it. So it would actually be weird for you not to come, even if you're not going with us specifically."
I look at Carson. He looks away from me. A part of me wonders where Aiden is, but I bury it. I look back at Axel. "Well that's nice." I keep walking and this time he doesn't stop me or hold on. I'd be lying if I didn't say that was disappointing.
"Actually," he follows, and my heart lifts. What's wrong with me?
He stays a fair distance away. "There are more activities happening this week. Like Friday night we're having a party at our house. I know I just said we weren't inviting you to our house but," he chuckles, lightly. "I think you'd really enjoy it. A lot of people'll be there. We could watch whatever you like, or you could pick the music?"
I look at him over my shoulder. I stare into his eyes. "Thanks for the invite. I'm good though."
"Consider it?" he asks without missing a beat. He gives me that look and I know I must be an idiot for feeling anything. I feel a whole lot of something. I look to Carson.
Carson still won't look at me.
I sigh. "I might consider it, but I probably won't. I hope you understand why." I walk to one of the doors Carson isn't currently standing in front of and I turn left towards the girl's locker room. I nearly knock into Aiden. He's leaning against the wall, on the opposite side where I was just talking to his brothers. He doesn't spare me a glance.
"Sorry," I say.
He doesn't respond.
I want to address yesterday for some reason. I consider how we'll be alone in our next class. Will he ignore me then too? Will this never stop?
I don't know how to deal with these three. I don't know how to get away from them, or make this situation bearable. I can't trust them, and I can't trust myself to remember that. I remember the way he walked away yesterday and I want to explain myself. To make it better. I still don't even fully believe it, that this guy could get offended by anything I said. I run my fingers through my twists and sigh. "...Sorry." I walk past him.
"You can run five laps, can't you?" he asks.
Oh here he goes. I was just feeling sympathy for him! "Yes, I can." I say firmly. I turn around and stalk away.
"That's all you have to do today," he says.
I stop. "What?"
"The coach agreed that you could do less due to your health conditions."
I turn around, but he's already a fair distance away. Carson and Axel walk through the doors and follow him. I'm filled with that feeling like in chem when Brittany helped me out. It's like, I think I should say thanks but I don't at the same time.
I walk to the locker room a little more than confused about how I feel and how I'm supposed to feel. I see Suzie and I know instantly what she'd say. Stay away from them and their weird party. Maybe that's why I nearly trip when I hear her talking with the other girls about how she's going to that exact party.
"I'm thinking about wearing my romper," that redheaded girl says, doing a little twirl as if she were wearing it right now and not her pink sweatpants.
"Yes! I'm going to bring my miniskirt," Suzie smiles.
"Oh, that means you mean business," redhead grins.
Some girls in the group agree. Brittany and Krys offer me a glance, but the rest of the group doesn't even seem to notice my existence. It's a nice change, until I say excuse me and a girl pretends like she didn't even hear me. I struggle to get to my corner and change. Suzie never comes my way. She's really into her conversation, and because I don't want to talk to any of those people, I don't interrupt. I stay to myself. Brittany and Krys offer me another glance. I look away.
I leave the locker room as quickly as I came in and I wait by where the class meets. Other people in other classes get their stuff set up. Some even shoot a few hoops or wrestle around. They all seem like they're having fun. My eyes connect with that boy from yesterday, the one who tried to help me and I ended up finding in a compromising position (coughcoughwalkedintotheboysbathroom). I shake my head. I never want to think of that again. He blushes when he sees me. He misses his shot.
I blush and look away. I feel so bad.
Someone stalks right up to him. It's Carson. He throws a ball at the guys head. Helper guy barely moves out of the way. Poor helper guy.
"Hey," Suzie says.
I look up. "Hey."
She doesn't say anything else. She looks towards Carson and the boy and smiles, tightly. There's something off about it.
"So you're going to the party?" I ask. I almost don't want to ask. It feels like asking if someone's cheating on you. Are you betraying me on Friday for these assholes?
She looks taken aback. "Oh you know about it?"
"Yeah. Axel told me about it."
"You're still talking to him." She smiles even tighter. "So you're going?"
I look at her from the corner of my eyes. I wait a while before I answer. "No."
She frowns, but there's something in her eyes when she does it. "Oh really? Why?"
I see no reason to keep what's been going on to myself, even with her weird behavior. It's not like I'm hiding it. I tell her everything, from crazy Carson to too nice Axel to I don't know Aiden. Finally I say, "So I won't go. Like you said, they're probably just trying to you know... right?"
The shift in her mannerisms is like night and day. If she was acting out of character just a moment ago, she's right back to the old Suzie. She smiles gently and takes a step closer to me. "No," she says firmly. It's like a light bulb came on in her head.
She's thinking. I don't know if I like it.
She puts her hand on my shoulder like the first day we met. "I definitely think you should go. Come with me. It'll be fun. We need to hangout away from class."
Everything in me is screaming to say no. I just let these words slip out, "I don't know."
"Please," she squeezes my shoulder gently. "Town activities are the best. Everyone goes."
But this is not a town. There aren't any trucks. There's no corner store. There's no town square, and it's overpopulated. Maybe I'm too city-fied, but this is not a town to me. These people act like it is though, and that's really strange. Suzie is starting to seem as weird as everyone else around here.
I say, "Maybe." Because maybe I'm the weird one. Maybe I just need to try to get used to this and integrate myself. I remember my mother's face yesterday when she saw how down I was. She offered to cook such a large meal for the family to cheer me up even though she just came home from work. I need to make friends. I need to get used to this place. I can't worry my mother anymore. I don't want her to think she had a lonely loser for a daughter. "Fine, I'll go."
Suzie smiles. "Attagirl! It'll be great. Trust me... Just don't expect anything related to them out of it, okay?" She looks towards the triplets.
I shake my head. "I won't. It's not like I like any of them anyway." I feel like I'm lying, and you know what? Who cares. Maybe I do like them a little, but I know what's best for me and that's staying away from them.
I realize how backwards that logic is by going to their house with the very person who told me to stay away from them. I look at her from the corner of my eyes.
She keeps going. "Good, because I don't want you to be let down."
I nod. "Because of their motives."
"Oh no," she waves me off nonchalantly. "Not that."
Question marks fly around my head. "Okay... well what then?"
She doesn't look like she wants to answer. "I was just saying." She looks away.
"No, tell me." I'm starting to have to hold myself back. I hate when people start saying something and don't finish it. Like don't get scared now, you were big enough to say it two second ago. Spit it out Suzie because I hope this isn't going where I think it is. "Why would I be let down?"
She let's it come out of her mouth. "I just don't think you're their type."
I cock my head back. I do it so hard I might need a chiropractor. What the hell did this bitc... I stop my thought, knowing my mother raised me better. What did this girl just say?
She puts her hands up, feigning a peace she'll never see me extend back to her. "I don't mean it like that. It's just, they're after girls who are..." She shifts her weight from side to side, looking for the right words. "...different than you. Girls who dress a little more... you know." She waves to her own appearance. "Do their hair."
"I do my hair," I say firmly. Does she know how long it takes to put in senegalese twists? I look down at my t-shirt and sweats. "And I just dress like this to school. I know what to wear to a party."
She puts her hand over her heart. "Thankfully."
Who the hell does she think she is? Michael isn't here to hold me back, and for the first time since I've gotten to this stupid school, that seems like a blessing.
She takes another look at my face and laughs. "Come on Mia, I'm just joking. You're beautiful! You'd be a great catch for anyone who's looking for someone decent. They're just after hoes is what I'm trying to say."
"Okay. If that's what you're saying?" That's not what she's saying. I ball my hands into fists.
"It is. of course." She pushes her loose curls behind her ear. "Either way, I definitely think we should go together. It would be a lot of fun, and a great way to make your debut as the new girl in town." She grins and bumps shoulders with me.
I smile too, albeit reluctantly. I wish I hadn't already agreed to going, "What are these parties usually like anyway? Have you been before?"
She looks at me incredulously. Almost laughing, she says, "Everyone goes to the Alpha parties."
Here we go again with alpha. "Is that their last name?" I ask. "Are the parties that special?"
She looks at me for a while, and then she nods slowly. "Yeah. You'll never forget them."
---
A/N (11/30/17): Hey guys! I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Each and every one of you makes my day and makes this story possible. You all are just so amazing and you've been so supportive. Thank you thank you thank you haha And I'll try to respond to all of your messages tonight :D