YANAN
"HOW ANNOYING!" Changgu exclaimed once we got back to the dorm. He placed his guitar carefully on the floor, leaning against the wall.
"What is?" I asked tiredly.
"This is why you are losing the game."
"It's not a game, Changgu." I said, sitting on bed, pulling off my socks. "It's what makes Chanmi happy."
"I knowㅡbut that Japanese guy Yuto is way ahead than you, do you realize that? You know what's wrong with you?" he asked, not waiting for an answer. "You have a freaking bad timing and you always do something when it's a bit too late. Why don't you fight for Chanmi's time? Why don't you meet up with her more often without me? Why not ask her on a date?"
I took off my jacket and let my body fall on bed. It creaked as my weight pressed on it. I stared at the ceiling, unable to identify how I was feeling at the moment. All I know was, it sucks to feel this way.
"Changgu-ah," I said, my voice drained out of energy.
"What?" he asked in his still irritated voice.
"Did you see that?" I asked.
"What?" he asked again, looking at the ceiling where my eyes were fixed.
"Chanmi," I said. "The way her face lit up when she saw him."
He just sighed and laid down on his own bed, staring at the ceiling with me as if there were stars in them.
"If this was a game the way you said it," I said, closing my eyes. "When I heard the way she called his name, I knew that was it. It's a K.O for me and he wins. So I'd rather turn away than make her uncomfortable. I'd rather turn away than show her that this... this freaking breaks me, too."
I felt a pat on my stomach. "Come on, let's sneak some beers in." Changgu said, pulling me up.
We bought canned beers from the convenience store and got them in the dorm without problems.
I exhaled deeply as we both sat on our own beds, facing each other. Acoustic songs played in a low volume. Changgu loves acoustic.
"I now understand why Chanmi was upset when I came to her. She was as upset as I am for this bad timing. Maybe there was even a time when I was everything she ever wantedㅡand maybe she still feels something for me somehow, but I understand if she doesn't choose me now. I don't think I would ever deserve herㅡand as much as I fucking hate to say this, Yuto might deserve her better than I do because he made her happy. He makes her happy, and all I did... all I did was break her heart."
Changgu sighed deeply. "This is a sign you're a mess. You cuss. Here, drink."
•
CHANMI
"I just wanted to see you before this day ends."
I REPLAYED IT OVER AND OVER INSIDE MY HEAD. Yuto's words, the warm feeling of being in his arms. And I feel like I would explode. I couldn't help smiling. My cheeks might be ripped soon. My chest was having trouble breathing. My face was hot and I couldn't sleep either.
I grabbed my phone and checked my text messages. I was just staring at my chat box with Yuto when a message came in. My eyes widened and I leaped up the bed. Damn it! He would think I was waiting for him to text!
But wait, wasn't I?
I calmed my breathing and began to read.
yuto
sleeping?
yuto
hahaha oh you're not
My cheeks were in flames as if he could see me. I typed a reply.
chanmi
i was about to text you!
yuto
and what were you about to say?
chanmi
good night.
yuto
didn't we say that earlier already?
chanmi
ok bye 😏
yuto
noooo
chanmi?
what's your favorite color?
chanmi
everything. why?
yuto
just pick one! 😒
chanmi
alice blue. why???🤔
yuto
secret ;)
chanmi
🙄🙄🙄
yuto
wanna go on a date tomorrow?
hey! why are you seenzoning me
it's been a minute.
1min6secs
silence means yes, remember?
chanmi
okay.😪
yuto
SEE YOU TOMORROW 😆🙈
•
I felt like today was the first date with Yuto. I was more nervous, more self-conscious about what I wear. I wore a black top, black pants and black winter boots, topped with white coat. Well, he said... black suits me so here I am.
When Yuto picked me up, he didn't bring a car with him this time. First, he took my hand with a knowing smile and then he led me to theㅡbus stop.
"You said I should be more myself on our next proper date, so no cars or acting like real adults."
I chuckled. "We are real adults."
"Young adults." he said.
We got on the bus and sat together. He took out his phone and lend me one of his earpiece. Hi Hello by DAY6 was already playing. We didn't utter any words. Just listened to the song until we reached our destination.
I was hiding a smile the whole time. I was happy.
•
Yuto was wearing black overall just like me, but with a red coat instead. His hair was simply down again and he was carrying a backpack.
He led me to the park and set up a cloth on the green grass. "Ta-da~" he said later on, smiling. "Picnic date!"
He started opening his backpack and taking out the food in containers.
"Whoa, what are those? Did you make them?" I asked, sitting beside him. The grass was a little wet from the coldness of winter, but thankfully, the sun was up and shining.
He smiled sheepishly. "I may have had a bit of help from mom."
"Just a bit?"
"Jeez. Okay. A lot."
"Didn't she ask where you'll bring all these?"
He took a plastic plate and filled it with food. "I told her I would go on a date with youㅡah," he said and fed me a kimbap.
My cheeks puffed and my eyes widened. "Your mom knowsh?" I asked a bit incoherently.
But he understood. He nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah, she does. She was pretty surprised but I think she approves." he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
I chewed and swallowed the food. "That was good!"
He smiled in satisfaction. "And try this one, too." he said, feeding me mandu.
I blushed this time and grabbed my own chopsticks, but ate the one from his anyway. "Umm! Good! Good." I said, giving him thumbs up.
"I helped make them. Well, mom guided me. What do you think? Should I be a future chef?"
I swallowed and waved my hand. "We're getting way ahead now, aren't we?"
He frowned. I laughed. And finally, we ate well. "Whoa, seriously," I said after eating. "I enjoyed everything! Is that too obvious?" I asked.
He chuckled happily. "I'm glad."
"I love the egg roll so much! And oh, the mandu is everything! Ah, everything else was good."
He laughed. "Happy to be at your service."
I helped him clean up. "Maybe you should really pursue cooking."
"So I can cook for you?"
I grinned. "Yes!"
His eyes shone by my answer. After the picnic, we walked through the streets where vendors parked their carts. Yuto tried on a couple-beanie and took picture of us wearing it.
We proceeded to the arcade games and Yuto got me a small sky blue teddy bear from shooting. We competed on air hockey (I won) and basketball (I lost). We got ourselves candies and a pair of keychainsㅡpalette and brush designed.
And Yuto's arm was around my shoulder as we walked. It felt a little strange, but I let myself let loose.
"Should we name it?" I asked, staring at the small sky blue teddy bear.
"Yes, so you would stop calling it Small Sky Blue Teddy Bear."
I chuckled, "Then let me think."
We came up with ridiculous names for a teddy bear including, "Wonder Woman." he said.
"Bailey!"
"That's a dog name." he said. "Barney!"
"Barney is violet." I told him.
He laughed. "Okay, here, Alice. It's your favorite colorㅡand alice blue isn't far from sky blue."
"You didn't just say that to a painter."
"Why! It's true!"
"Alright, I'm letting you off the hook. Alice, it is then."
As we were making our way to the bus stop, we passed by a group of musicians and people dancing. Yuto pulled me into the event. I shook my head repeatedly. "No."
"Come on, Chanmi!"
"What even is going on?"
"I don't know but I wanna dance with you."
He started moving his body, jumping around and then he grabbed my hand and twirled me around so easily.
I groaned, smiling. "What are you making me do?"
After that, an event photographer approached us and gave us a polaroid shot of ourselves while dancing. We thanked her and got out of the event.
"That was crazy!" I said, laughing.
"Well, we got a photo! Who gets to keep it?"
"Race to the bus stop?" I said.
"Ha. You dare me."
"Don't underestimate me."
"Winner gets the photo."
"Three, two, one..." And we both sprint to the bus stop.
HE IS DAMN FAST. I had to find a way to distract himㅡso I pretended I sprained my ankle, means I dramatically fell to the ground and groaned. "Yuto!"
He turned to me and his face paled. He rushed to me and concern flooded his face. "What's wrong?"
"It hurts..."
"Let me help... can you stand?" he asked.
I nodded and he held my arm to help me stand and then once I was on my two feet, I started running away, laughing mischievously.
"KIM CHANMI!" He yelled, flustered.
I reached the bus stop, still laughing.
"Hey! You cheated!" he said, cupping my cheeks. I was too busy laughing to notice what he did at first until I realized he was staring at me.
I cleared my throat. "Nobody said we can't cheat. Picture is mine."
He smiled eventually, shaking his head, sighing before he let me go. "Let's go. I have something to show you."
•
Yuto brought me to the Adachi house. I found his mom watching TV in the living room. I greeted her and she hugged me with a smile. "It's nice to see you again, Chanmi."
And then Yuto pulled me away and led me upstairs, to his room.
It was... pretty empty. There were the basic furnitures, a study, and a bit of mess because he had been staying here for weeks. "As you can see," he said. "My things are in my original room, not here."
But the walls have been decorated with silver of lines, creating diamond shapes on a black background.
He reached for something under his study table andㅡit was a canvas in a white frame.
Yuto smiled sheepishly as he turned back to me. "You told me to paint. So I did. Butㅡbefore you see it, let me ask you a question, if you could go anywhere with me, where would it be?"
Anywhere. I wanted to say. "Japan." I said instead. "I want to see your hometown. What about you?"
He smiled. "There is this place in Rome called Spagna. I went there once when I was a kid, but I still remember how it was full of art. If I could, maybe someday, I'd like to bring you there. There are lots of aspiring artists and things to trigger your inspiration. I want you to paint what you'll see there because I want to see the world the way you do."
My heart beats faster as he walked closer to me. He continued, "Because I know you see the world the way you are, not the way the world is. You see it with so much colors and meaning. You feel it."
He smiled faintly. "Mom and I were there when you talked to that painter in the marketplace, but I decided not to approach because your friends came. You looked happy. I didn't want to ruin that moment."
I gasped. "Your mom must think I'm horrible."
He chuckled. "She thinks you're amazing." He tucked strands of my short hair behind my ear. "I think you are."
He looked at the framed painting and sighed. "This is obviously a work of a beginnerㅡbut it's for you." he said, finally showing me what he made.
A map. A glittering world map. Some places were marked with very small flags all over the countries. The glitters were alice blue on a black background. Above the world, something was written. TO EXPLORE THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD.
"You really made this?" I asked, my heart feeling warm. The smile on my lips won't go away.
He nodded reluctantly. "Even if you don't find it amazing, please don't throw it."
I chuckled. "Don't be ridiculous. I love it. Thank you!"
"Chanmi," he called softly. "You make me realize how much I want to do the things I have passion for, and what I love along the way."
I chuckled nervously. "Yuto, you have flattered me so much today."
He smiled and caressed my cheek gently with his thumb. "I'm so happy to know you." he said and as his eyes dropped on my lips, my heart had gone crazy.
And as he pressed his lips on mine, my heart had stopped beating. It was so quick and gentle. I barely closed my eyes. My cheeks were burning when our eyes met but then he smiled at me and my heart lived again.
He took the painting from me and placed it carefully on his bed, and then he came back to me and cupped my cheeks with his warm hands and he kissed me again.
And again.
And again.
My hands clung around his waist. And we both lost ourselves for a while. It felt like we were surrounded by all the beautiful colors invented in the world.
He pulled me closer and this is how he makes me feel: the magic of beginnings. With him, there's always a beginning.
We started off like a painting. So unclear. So uncertain. Seemed even impossible, like colors splashed on a canvas but didn't match. And then slowly, in the process, everything began to make sense. Now, the colors glow and they're beautiful. A painting that would make someone feel something even if they didn't understand.
This.
This is the art of falling in love.
• • ♡ • •
A/N: stop blushing, you :")
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