THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T CRY IN PUBLICㅡand one of them is because you have to face the people who saw you cry after it.
Right now, I feel so sad, heartbroken and mortified all at the same time. Yuto led me out of the club and we walked along the sidewalk without speaking to each other. He was just there.
The night was cold and the stars and the moon were covered by the clouds. I turned to Yuto and when I spoke, my voice came out hoarse. "I'm going home. Thanks for tonight. And I'm sorryㅡfor dragging you into the drama."
"I'm walking you home." he simply said. He wasn't asking permission. He was saying what he wanted to do.
"You don't have toㅡ"
"I want to."
And so, we got on the bus. We sat next to each other in silence. It's so exhausting to spend each night like this.
We walked towards my dorm and stopped in front of the building.
"What do you like so much about him?" Yuto suddenly asked in that deep voice of his.
I stared at him, admiring his face as an artist. "Everything." I said, and watched the way that face twitched so quick like I just imagined it.
"But he hurts you." he said quietly.
I removed my scarf from my neck. "He doesn't know that." Without thinking twice, I reached for his neck and wrapped my scarf around it. His jacket was really fashionably useless for winter. He seemed to have stopped breathing for a while but he just looked at me.
"Doesn't he? Really?" he asked after a while. I pulled away and inspected my own red scarf on him.
I just smiled a bit. "Red suits you." I said, turning to the gate. "Thanks again for tonight."
But as I opened the gate, Yuto held my arm. "Wait," he said.
"What is it?" I asked.
He swallowed hard, looking directly into my eyes. "Give me a chance." he said.
•
Yanan
Changgu spotted me as soon as the band finished performing. A grin formed his lips. "Hey! I thought you wouldn't make it!"
I smiled at him. "Can't miss this."
"Where's Chanmi? She was here..."
"She went somewhere with Yuto."
"Yuto? He was here too?" he asked.
I nodded. "Chanmi said she was with him."
"What? I brought Chanmi hereㅡ" And then Changgu stopped as if realizing something. "Thanks for coming, dude." he said, instead.
Chanmi wasn't with Yuto in the first place.
I smiled at Changgu. "Awesome as always."
"So, are you two on a date? Didn't expect Yanan would bring a girl in a club." he said, grinning at Gain.
Gain smiled. "He insisted to watch your band. You guys are really good!"
"Thank you."
My feet itched. I wanted to leave. I wanted to see if Chanmi was okay. I scanned the place around with my eyes but I couldn't find them.
"Yanan," Gain called.
"Hm?"
"You've been distracted all night. Are you okay?"
My eyes returned to her. I forced a smile. "Yeah, of course. Sorry, babe." I said and kissed her forehead.
Changgu cleared his throat. "I'll leave you guys to it. Gotta hang out with the band. Enjoy your date!" he said and walked away, disappearing among the crowds.
"Yanan," Gain called in a stern voice.
"Hm? Want more drinks? Food?"
She shook her head. "Why is this our problem?"
"What?" I asked in confusion. Hell, no. Not tonight, please.
"Why do you feel so torn between me and your friends?" she asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, frowning. "Not this again."
"Yes," she said firmly. "This is it again!"
"Gain..." I said in exhausion.
"Maybe this won't be happening if you would just admit this to yourself!" she said, tears sprung in her eyes.
"Admit what?"
"That you like Chanmiㅡnot just as your best friend!"
My heart jumped. I looked at her in disbelief. "What the hell, Gain? How many timesㅡ"
But then her voice turned quiet. "How many times would you deny it? Why are you denying it? If I ask you now, who do you think about at night before you sleepㅡis it me? Just tell me honestly." she said, her voice so tired.
•
Chanmi
I took in a shaky breath. "Yuto, we already talked about this..."
"I didn't ask you out that day on the train because I was making fun of you, or because it was some kind of a bet you see in the movies." He said, "I asked you out because you caught my attention. I asked you out because I wanted to know youㅡand there were no other chances once you get off that train. So even if it meant risking my pride in front of my friends, I went for it. Hell, they won't let me hear the end of it but when I saw you againㅡat my own house, I knew I really have to know you."
"But Yuto, you barely know me. Let's say you're asking me out because you like meㅡbut you can't like a person if you don't truly know her."
"Says who?" He asked, slowly letting my arm go. "I know enough about you. You're Kim Chanmi. I met your friends, two best friends. One's Chinese, the other is in a band. You go to college and study fine arts, my mom told me. You paint hella awesome images. You don't like younger guys. You're secretly in love with your best friendㅡand I'm about to change the last two sentences."
I couldn't help the smile that escaped my lips. "I know nothing about you." I said in between frowning and smiling.
"First of all, my name is Adachi Yuto. You know I'm Japanese, and my mom is addicted to flowers. You know I'm eighteen and I go to clubs. You know I only like black but if you say red looks good on me, then I'll wear red tomorrow." He took a deep breath. "If you go out with me, maybe you'll know me better."
I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with my hands. "I don't know, Yuto. You know I... like someone else. I don't want to do this to youㅡto give you some kind of false hope."
"I know. That's why you have to give me a chance." he said softly. I've never seen him talk like this beforeㅡas if he meant every word.
I inhaled a deep breath. "You are..." I said with a sigh. "...pretty convincing, aren't you?"
A huge smile formed his lips. "Does that mean yes?"
"Okay?"
"Yes! So will you go on a date with me tomorrow?"
"Um... tomorrow, uhㅡ"
"Tomorrow. 7pm. I'll pick you up."
I blinked, a bit taken aback. Too fast. Too fast. "Okay?"
He chuckled and held my hand. Whoops. "Thank you, Chanmi. Good night."
I can't believe this. I nodded quietly, my cheeks blushing. "Good night."
He gave me a dashing smile before I go inside.
Maybe this is good.
Because as I recalled his words before bed, a smile actually formed my lips. And I haven't smiled to my sleep in a while.
•
Yanan
I finally told Gain honestly.
I told herㅡand I broke her heart.
I was so confused by how I feel. God knows I cherished her. She was my first girlfriend.
WAS.
Jeez. It's over. Damn it.
I ran my hands over my hair in frustration. I want to curse myself over and over inside my head. I grabbed my bike and pedalled to Chanmi's dorm. Maybe she's home already. I need to talk to her.
She's the only one who understands and listens to me in times like this.
But then I found her talking with Yuto in front of her dorm. I pedalled closer towards them until I could hear what they were talking about.
"You're secretly in love with your best friendㅡand I'm about to change the last two sentences." Yuto told her. My heart beat quickened. I couldn't hear anything else as the words echoed inside my head.
"You're secretly in love with your best friend."
And they echoed again and again. When I got back to my senses, Chanmi was smilingㅡand she's going on a date with another guy.
I left the place before they both see me. I went back to my dorm with a heavy feeling in my chest. I hate myself.
• • •
A/N: Thanks for reading! 😆
Are you Team Yanan or Team Yuto?
And happy birthday to Kino! My ultimate bias wrecker. Hahaha! He is officially 20 too! asdfghjkl. I'm the same age as maknae line nowww~ yay lol