MY MOM ONCE TOLD ME ABOUT THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE but she never told me about the art of heartbreak. But as I filled the canvas with gloomy colors, I think I knew what it is.
Today, I don't have to work in Adachi's house. Today, I stayed in the painting room even after all my classes. The painting is almost over. It's a series of shadow gray, coal black, smoke of white and prussian blue. It's a stormy picture of the ocean and the sky is angry, the ocean is lonely.
"Damn. What is that?" A familiar voice asked behind me. I turned to see Changgu. "You're in a bad mood, aren't you?" he asked.
"Stop stating the obvious, Changgu." I said lazily.
"Come on, get up. We're going somewhere."
"Not. In. The. Mood."
"That's why you need to get up. Let's go." he said grabbing my arm.
I sighed. "Okay, okay, just wait."
I put my palette aside and removed my apron, staring at the canvas. So dark and so bad. I shook my head and grabbed my backpack.
"Wait, wash your hands first. I already know you're proud to be an artist. No need to come out with your hands full of dark paint." He said, dragging me to the sink.
•
"Ta-da!" Changgu presented the poster with a huge smile.
PENTAGON
Live band performance
@ Club Paragon
8 PM, January 15
I gasped, my eyes widening. "Heol! Is this real?"
He wiggled his eyebrows. "The first club gig of the band! And you are coming with me."
"Wait, what about Yanan?"
He frowned at the mention of his name. "He said he's sorry he can't go. He just made up with Gain and they are going on a date tonight."
My voice was dead when I spoke again. "Is he insane?"
"You know what? I'm OK. He wants to miss his bro's first club gig? Fine. I'm not the one missing on anything." he said and that's when I realized I wasn't the only one upset about this.
This whole thing. Friendship vs. Lover.
And I cannot blame anyone for it. Yanan, Changgu and I have been best of friends in so long. We did a lot of things together. If one screwed up, we all screw up. We have our Friday Friendship Night because no matter how busy we get, we promised to hang out once a week and fill each other up with what we missed in each other's lives.
It's not only once or twice that Yanan tried to get Gain regular in our Friendship Night. Maybe he thought everything turned out fine, but Changgu and I have been nothing but awkward whenever she's around. Maybe we were being selfish. Maybe we just both hate change.
It's not like we didn't know that once one of us gets in a romantic relationship, time spent together would lessen. We're really happy for Yananㅡbut I wish, I just really wish he wouldn't miss important things like this.
I wish he's here right now, celebrating with us.
I wish he was home for Christmas and New Year's eve with his parents who missed him. I wish he wouldn't ditch our dinner night in Seonata's for movie nights with Gain. I wish... I wish I didn't like him this way.
"Come on, let's wipe that sadness away from your face." Changgu said and he led me the clubㅡthe first club I've ever gone to.
•
Changgu's band, Pentagon, consists of five members; Changgu himself (the guitarist), Hwitaek (the vocalist), Jinho (the vocalist and bass guitarist), Kino (the drummer) and Shinwon (the pianist). I've met all of them before when Changgu first joined the band. Each and every one of them has talent. That's what's admirable about Pentagon. They majored in different things but at the end of the day, they are all these college students who are so passionate about music.
I was filming Changgu with my phone like a fangirl in a concert when a waiter approached me. "A drink ordered for you, miss." he said, handing me a drink.
I was too stunned to react at first, and then I waved my hand in dismissal. "Send my thanks but I don't drink."
"But, missㅡ"
"I'll handle it." said a familiar voice behind me, taking the drink from the waiter.
I turned to Yuto, an incredulous look on my face before I stopped filming. "What the heck are you doing here?" I yelled through the loud music.
The Yuto I saw on the train was back: slicked back hair, black leather jacket, ear piercing.
Bad Boy Yuto smirked. "I'm supposed to be asking you that. I didn't take you as a club girl."
"My friend is performing so I'm here. Waitㅡaren't you underage?" I asked which made him frown.
"Stop looking at me like I'm a baby all the time. I'm eighteen!" he said defensively.
So, I'm just a year older.
I turned back to the 'stage'. "I don't drink anyways. Gotta film my friend." I said in dismissal.
He rolled his eyes. "At least, talk to me."
"I am talking to you." I said, filming the band. I would upload this on YouTube later.
"A backpack. A paint on your shirt. Did you come here from college?" Yuto asked.
"Nice observation. Yes."
"Where is your best friend?"
I frowned and pointed at Changgu. "There, the guitarist."
"No, not that one. The Chinese."
I gave him a look. "I have no idea. Stop asking."
"Okay, I'm more interested in you than him anyways."
My hand shook. "Does your mom know you're here?"
"Are you trying to annoy me?"
I grinned, giving him a sideway glance. "Ooh, is this the way to annoy you?"
He shook his head and drank the drink he ordered for me. I stopped filming when the song ended, replaced by another song. "Hey, you shouldn't be ordering drinks for girls at that age." I told him.
He took in a sharp breath and slammed his hand on the table stand but nobody else in the club noticed this. Yuto leaned in closer to my face and smirked. Holy Holy HolyㅡI gasped a little and bent my head backwards as he leaned closer and closer. He smiled smugly. "Stop treating me like a kid, or do you want me to show you that I'm not one anymore?" he asked, his eyes dropped on my lips.
I swallowed and forced a smile. "H-Hey! Chill! I... I was just trying to annoy you. Heh. It worked...?"
"Chanmi?" Another familiar voice called my name.
Yuto looked at my face once more before pulling himself away. My face was so hot. I wondered if it was obvious beneath the neon disco lights.
Behind him, I found Yanan and Gain. Ohmygoshㅡhe saw us in that position earlier. For a moment, I panicked, then I realized that I shouldn't. But when I looked at Yanan's face, it was unreadable.
"Hey! Thought you won't make it?" I said after clearing my throat.
He gave me a thin smile. "It's probably Changgu's biggest gig. I can't miss it."
"Besides, this is a fine dating spot." Gain added, smiling up at him.
Her arm was tangled with Yanan's and they both smiled at each other. They're okay again. I could feel Yuto's eyes on me, but I couldn't look away from the couple. "I... I should leave you guys alone then." I said, trying to smile.
"Oh, come on, you can join us!" Yanan said.
I watched Gain's expression changed and I knew I wasn't welcome. I forced another smile. "No, I... I'm with Yuto, anyway."
Yanan's smile died. "You are?"
I nodded and looked at Bad Boy Yuto. The look of help. He grinned immediately. "Yeah, as you can see," he said, "We have an unfinished business."
My cheeks burnt as Yuto's arm wrapped around my shoulder. "See you guys later!" I said. My palms were sweating.
"Chanmi, wait!" Yanan said, holding my arm.
"Yes?"
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Thanks for last night. I took Gain out to see the first snowfall, and we became okay."
I nodded again, failing to speak. "What are... friends for?"
He gave me a lingering look before letting me go. "Enjoy the night." He said a bit grimly. I nodded and turned away.
I don't know where Yuto brought me. We're still somewhere inside the clubㅡbut my heart felt so broken. I felt like suffocating, like I would die from the pain inside my chest.
Yuto sighed and pulled me in reluctantly, sweeping me in his arm, his other hand caressing my hair. And I felt tears rushing out of my eyes as if they've been held back too long. I wasn't suppose to cryㅡnot in the arms of someone I barely know, but holding me this way felt like he was giving me permission to cry, as if he was telling me it's alright to cry.
And that he understood.
••••
A/N: i couldn't update earlier because of my wifi connection ㅠ
thank you so much for reading!
and OUR YUTO ISSSS OFFICIALLY 20 YEARS OLD IRL 😂👏