I spent the next half hour teaching Hayley everything I knew about the thug life. Which, unfortunately, was all too much.
We found a black leather jacket in her closet that we threw over her pajama shirt, and I replaced her elephant slippers with a pair of dagger pumps we also found.
I also applied a little makeup we found in the bathroom, completing the look.
When I was done, she looked bad.
Well, not like bad bad, but like, bad. Like a bad girl.
Then I began quizzing her on the mental part of being a gangster.
"Lesson Number One on how to be a gangster," I began, "A thug ALWAYS breaks the rules."
Hayley sighed, looking down. "I'm going to hate this, aren't I."
"You won't be saying that once we get out of here," I reminded her. "Anyway, you just need to disagree with everything they say, throw in a curse word whenever you can, and blatantly disregard rules."
"This is going to get us killed!" she protested.
"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes. "I'M still alive, aren't I? Now let's try this thing out."
We walked down the stairs and turned to enter the kitchen, but Hayley, being the clumsy girl she was, tripped over her daggers and fell flat on her back.
"Wheeze," she wheezed.
I quickly helped her up, and we strode into the living room.
The boys were glued to a sports game, so I got their attention.
"Ahem," I cleared my throat. When they didn't turn I added, "Ahahahsshjgh."
Jacob turned to me with a disgusted face. "Ew, Are you dying?"
"No," I scowled.
As soon as the boys saw Hayley, their jaws dropped.
Jacob found his voice first. "What happened to you?"
"I became a gangster," Hayley answered in all seriousness.
Carson choked.
"I'm a straight up thug now," she continued. "I rap for fun. It's how I make them dollars."
"Now you're freaking me out," Jacob said wearily, and Carson choked again.
"Don't make me drop you a beat, son," she warned.
Jacob frowned, and the boys exchanged weary glances with each other.
"Where did you get those clothes?" Carson finally managed to get out.
"I disagree," she said.
Jacob frowned again. "That made no sense."
"I disagree with that too," Hayley added, "In fact, I disagree with everything you say."
Then she glanced at me for approval.
I gave her pointed look.
"Bitch," she added.
"I am extremely confused," Jacob announced.
"I'm done talking to you now" Hayley said.
And with that, she spun around and left.
But of course, she tripped and fell.
Hayley hopped back up quickly, and then strutted back out with what little dignity she had left.
"She's lost it," Carson breathed in shock.
"Or found it," I corrected. "Better let her go now. There's no telling what that thug will do. I'd be willing to bet she's up there setting the house on fire right now."
Carson looked like he was having a mental crisis, and I took that as my cue to leave.
I ran back up to Hayley's room to congratulate her on becoming a thug.
"Good job!" I cheered as I threw her door open.
She was sitting on the bed smiling, but before she could respond, Carson busted into the room.
He looked at her, then at me. "Can we have a moment alone please?"
I nodded, and began to walk out. But before I left, I mouthed a name. His name.
Hayley squinted her eyes to make out what I was saying.
Then she turned to Carson and said, "So... Shmarkson, right?"
He raised an eyebrow, and I practically ran out of the room.