I dedicated this chapter to BloomInTheMoonlight :) A very good friend who always encourages me with her lovely words^_^ She is also a great writer! Check out her works, you'll not be disappointed:)
When they finally managed to bring their emotions under control, Wasifa was the first to speak, ‘’I still have a couple of things to say and I’d like it if you listened to me even if you don’t like my words’’.
Unable to form a sentence with her voice still thick with emotion, Katherine gave a nod of approval.
‘’My husband and child was practically my whole world. I didn’t have any sibling and my parents lived in another country. So their death left me devastated, alone and utterly lost. I gave up on life literally, eating, sleeping and most importantly, I gave up praying. Which I never missed once since I fell in love with Islam in my early teens. I was the prime example of a living, breathing human corpse. I questioned the Almighty day after day. Why He took everything away for me and what He was punishing me so cruelly for. I was so angry and lost inside that at one point I even thought of taking my own life.’’
Katherine let out a gasp at her words.
‘’Don’t worry, I never tried. By then they had caught the murderer and he was locked up in the cell until his case was presented before the court. I went to visit him one day. I wanted to hear from his own mouth why he so cold bloodedly took two innocent lives that day. Made me a widow and childless in the span of a night. And that was another impulsive mistake that I made. He wasn’t sorry for what he did. There wasn’t a tiny speck of remorse in his tone. Rather he was proud even. He had a twisted sense of belief that somehow he did a great favor to the country by eliminating two ‘terrorists’ and given the chance, he would do it again.’’
After a little pause she started again, ‘’Hearing his words was like fuel to the fire that already burned within me. I was so blinded by the idea of vengeance that counting down the days of his trial was the only thing that got me through day after day. I wanted to inflict the same amount of pain he inflicted upon me, I wanted him to suffer the same way I was suffering. I created my own personal hell and then I let it lead my life. Each passing day I was taking another step towards the edge of darkness and letting it drag me in its bottom-less abyss.’’
‘’Then, as if sensing my distress, my mother came to my rescue during those dark days. Whom, I‘d like to believe the Lord personally sent, as my own guardian-angel. She didn’t give me any lectures, or advice or reprimand. She just followed me around everywhere I went, as a constant companion. Never leaving my side and letting me feel lonely. And during those long nights and early mornings she would sit with the Quran before me and recite verses so I would listen. She would recite the verses that contained the messages that The Almighty tested His servant’s devotion with trials and hardships so that He can separate the truest believers.’’
[And We shall certainly test you, until We know those of you who strive their utmost (for God) and who are the steadfast; and We shall test your reported mettle’’47:31]
‘’She would tell me that adversity and afflictions are actually heavenly mercy, because they give the believers a chance to earn good deeds by being patient and loyal and even the loss of loved ones is one such trial.’’
[You shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your lives, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you but if you patiently persevere and be pious then surely this will be of great resolution.’’41:35]
‘'One such verse that moved me the most was, I quote, ‘’and know that your worldly possessions and your children are but a test and it is with God, with whom, lies your highest reward.’’[8:28]
‘’She would tell me that Allah(SWT) puts us through difficult times, sometimes so difficult that it can cause a believer to lose faith in The Almighty, but if we persevere and be patient through those times it will surely elevate our places before Him. And the reward might not always be presented in this life. As Muslims we believe there is an eternal life after our death, so Allah might reward us in that life which is so much greater.’’
''She would relate to me the stories of the noble Prophets who were put through so many hazards and trials in their lives, but in all those distress, they didn’t lose faith in their Lord, and that’s why they are the most favorite people of Allah (SWT). And finally the words got to me. I realized, what Allah took away from me was always His to begin with.’’
She let out a shaky breath,’’ My love for them is immeasurable, but Allah loves them thousands of times the more’’
“So I started to work on getting my life back on track. I started praying and resumed living my life again, living my life for the sake of The One who gifted me with it. It was not easy. The part of my heart that was reserved for them was a big void that couldn’t be filled, so I filled it with my Lord. I got rid of all those dark thoughts and concentrated on gaining back my inner strength. I went to see the killer again. I walked up to him head held high and I told him that I forgave him, I forgave him not because he deserved forgiveness, but for my own peace of heart. I forgave him because I didn’t want to go to my grave with even a speck of hatred in my heart, or stand before my Lord with it. And you can’t imagine how liberating it felt. It was like I was suddenly free from a chain that bound me for so long.’’
Katherine listened to the speech with undivided attention and she was moved by Wasifa’s revelations. She still didn’t see Islam in the same light as Wasifa, but she was intrigued. She was amazed at the strong impact that Islam could have over a believer’s life and the amount of support it rendered. Can such an object of veneration be the preacher of evil?
‘’How was it that you came to work in Africa?’’
“I resumed studying for my medical degree, it took three years to complete and get my certificate. I came to know of this job through a friend of mine. My family was reluctant to let me take the job at first, but they understood my need for a change. And I never regretted it. It was the best decision I made in my life. Coming out here opened my eyes to things I never imagined. Poverty, hunger, diseases and racial conflicts are some of the daily companions of people’s lives in some parts. Many children are orphaned, many parents, childless. I felt like Lord had personally brought me here, to give me a new purpose in life. I understood their pain and they understood mine. It felt like I lost one child but gained many, and I loved each one like I loved my own. I formed a family everywhere I went and it went a long way to fill the empty space in my heart.’’
‘’Although it never went away fully, and it never will. Still some days if I listened carefully, I would hear my baby’s giggling floating in the air. I would hear him call ‘mommy’ as if to say he’s alright, that Someone up there is taking good care of him, and I know He is. I know my baby is in the best of hands. I miss my husband terribly. His warm embraces, the constant support he provided and his unconditional love. The way he teased me just to rile me up and the way he made me laugh.’’ Wasifa chuckled.
“All those memories are enough to get me through a lifetime”
“I still don’t get how you cope with all that’’ Katherine interjected.
Wasifa looked at her with a warm smile, ‘’It’s the thought that I will be re-united with them again, in the after-life, if Allah wills. And I know if I live my life the way He wants me to and follow His commandments with sincerity and devotion, The Almighty will never disappoint me.’’
Then she took both of Katherine’s hand in her own and said, ‘’I don’t expect you to suddenly see Islam in a different light just by hearing my story and neither will I try to impose my beliefs on you. But will you promise me one thing?’’
‘’I will’’
‘’My request to you, please, study about Islam. Inquire the authenticity of the knowledge you have of it. Judge it based on the Quran not based on its followers. Muslims are not perfect, but Islam is. I want you to keep an open mind and I will pray to the Al-Haadee(The Guide), so that He guides you in your search and so that you may find the correct path.’’
And Katherine promised.
It was not long after that the noises from the search-party could be heard.
They were finally saved.
All praises to the Lord.
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Just to clear up a few things, I've deliberately kept some information vague, like Wasifa's nationality. I wanted to portray her as a symbol of an universal Muslimah. Islam is geographically borderless. So I din't want to taint her image of a devoted Muslimah by making her part of a certain nation.
And also the place where the murder of Wasifa's family took place. Imagine it as a place where Muslims are a minority and racial violence is not an unusual incident.