Chris's stomach rolled. Worse was the sick feeling in his chest. It went deeper than his unhappy body. At least that illness could be expelled. He rolled over and found his face over a small trashcan. He couldn't figure out why until his stomach heaved and a wash of bile escaped his mouth. A washcloth over his face then neck cooled the burn under his skin.
Did he have the flu? He tried to remember. His body ached in ways he'd never imagined possible. Liam stared down at him worried. Chris decided he had to have the flu, the alternative terrified him.
"Is it happening?"
Liam pushed Chris's hair back and put the washcloth on his forehead. "Is what happening?"
Chris fought to swallow around the lump in his throat and the terrible taste in his mouth. "Am I turning into a monster?"
Liam's smile was sad. "No, you're hung over."
Hung over. Chris tried to remember but his stomach heaved again. Liam turned him over just in time. When the heaves turned dry, Chris found himself back on the bed. His head throbbed, his jaw ached. The dim light hurt his eyes.
He watched Liam as he dipped the washcloth in a small basin, rung it out, carefully lined up the edges, folded it. Once. Twice. He looked more broken than Chris had ever seen him. As inhuman as the splash of iridescence on his face made him appear, there had never been a time that Liam looked so Human.
Chris wanted to be repulsed by him. He reminded himself that this monster was not his brother. His brother was gone, replaced by something carved from metaphysics and born of a beast.
And yet?
"I'm sorry." Chris didn't know what else to say.
Liam shook his head. "I'm sorry. I should have..." His hands clenched and water ran over his fists. "I should have done more."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. I failed you."
"How?" He'd snuck out on his own. He'd made the choice to drink. And then, and then he'd made the choice too... This nausea returned only it wasn't from the alcohol.
"Why else would you go out and get drunk? Goddamn it, why else would you do that?"
Chris rolled over onto his side wishing the hollow feeling inside his chest would go away. "I had too."
Liam's eyebrows came down. "Why?"
"I'm gonna be a monster."
"Chris."
"I'm gonna be like you, I might as well be like you. Be a whore, a prostitute, be someone who doesn't think they're worth anything. Be someone who bleeds, and hurts, and does stupid shit. I might as well then you won't have too anymore!" Chris's voice left his head ringing. He pushed his face into the pillow. "I wanted to. I just wanted to."
Liam petted Chris's head. Even his hair hurt. Liam said, "It's not gonna be like that anymore."
"Why because Richard is dead? But you're still doing it. You're doing it so we can stay here. Instead of doing what Richard says you just do what the monsters say, what the monsters tell you to do. It's not different. It's not different at all." Liam tried to wipe the tears off Chris's face. He snatched the wash cloth away and did it himself.
"It's not the same."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's not. I love him."
Chris glared at his brother. He loved him? "Don't say that."
"I do. Very much."
"He's just using you, like everyone else."
"No."
"Yes! Jericho doesn't care about you, he doesn't care about me and Kevin, he's just keeping you here to..." To be a whore. Just like what Richard did. And now Chris knew exactly how terrible it felt, how painful, how humiliating. The thought ripped a sob out of Chris's chest.
"He cares Chris."
"Don't say that."
"I know you don't understand. And I'm sorry. I thought I protected you but I did a piss poor job. You have to believe me, this isn't the same. To do this with someone you love isn't the same."
"He doesn't love you. He's Lesser-Bred."
"He cares enough about me to risk his life for Kevin."
It took Chris a minute to battle the throb of his heart beat in his skull. "What are you talking about?"
Liam looked down at his hands.
Chris sat up even though the pain turned sharp and stabbing. He looked around. The room they were in was small and there were no windows.
"Where are we?"
"The vault."
"The what?"
"It's what Jericho and William call it."
It looked like a cell. "Are we prisoners?"
"No. William is in the other room." He nodded to the door.
"Then what are we doing here?"
"Jericho was worried that the Alchemists might try to come into the building. It's just a precaution."
"Then where's Kevin?" What Liam had said about Jericho risking his life, washed over Chris like ice. "Where's Kevin?"
Liam took a breath. His voice was calm but his eyes were full of fear. It was a look Chris was familiar with, the mask he wore when things weren't just bad, but terrible. "He followed you."
"What do you mean he followed me?" Liam didn't answer. Chris threw off the covers and stumbled out of bed. He yanked open the door and ran out into another room, larger, done up with a couch, computer, and a small kitchen. A fully functional apartment that could fit in a corner of one of the rooms in the tower. William was making sandwiches. The place was empty of anyone else.
Chris looked at Liam. God his face, his eyes. He looked broken, absolutely destroyed.
"When you left to go—Kevin followed you. They picked him up—"
"Who? Who picked him up?"
"The people who want William."
Chris stared trying to get his brain to comprehend what he was being told. Kevin had followed him and now he was gone. "Maybe he's just lost."
"No."
"How do you know? He could be anywhere. He probably went back to the Clinic, we should go there..."
"He didn't go to the Clinic, Chris."
Panic made Chris's voice brittle. "You don't know that! We should go look for him. He could get hit by a car." He went to the heavy steel door across the room and yanked on the knob, it wouldn't open. "Why are you just standing there! Open the door so we can go look! We need to go look! Please...please..." Liam's arms surrounded him and Chris burst into tears.
"I don't understand why you won't go look for him."
"I told you. The people who want William have him."
"How do you know?"
"They sent a package."
"Maybe they lied. Maybe they're just saying that to scare you." Liam held him tighter. Chris could feel him trembling. "I don't understand, how? How did he follow me?"
"He must have seen you type in the code. He's smart Chris. You know that."
Chris did. Kevin was scary smart when it came to certain things. It's what frustrated Chris so much when his little brother was being difficult.
"What do they want?"
Liam petted Chris's head. "It doesn't matter."
"Me? Do they want me? I'll go. I'll go if they'll bring him back."
"No, they don't want you Chris. They want William."
Chris looked at William who was staring at the floor, hands clenched. "He's just a little kid, why don't you go!"
William nodded. "I would. I offered."
"Then what's the hold up?"
"Vesh won't allow it."
The idiot meant the Male. "Who cares what he wants! I'd go. If they wanted me I'd go and save him!"
Liam tried to pull Chris over toward the couch and he twisted out of his brother's grasp. "Don't! I want to go out. I want to try and find him."
"You can't."
"You mean you won't let me!"
Chris expected an argument, or more excuses, but what he got was, "No. I won't. I can't lose both of you."
It was then Chris knew Kevin was never coming home.