Reader's Reader's
From this chapter onwards it's going to be little cheesey and romantic. Sometimes erotic. I am writing a story for first time and even writing romantic scenes for first time so please don't feel bad for my writing.
Those who are uncomfortable with matured scenes and cheesey romance i will put a warning sign . So enter with your own risk.
Sid's pov
After all the twist and turns in our life now I am trying my best to fix our brokened marriage with all efforts . Forgetting Azad is not an easy task for Nivedita even though she doesn't show her sadness infront me sometimes I saw her crying alone. But she is trying her best to makeup our marriage life. Aadarsh suggested us a good psycartsist for our marriage relationship now Nivedita really needs some advice from professionals.
Nivi's pov
Azad is no more in this world. It's going to be one week after his execution. Siddarth doesn't wanted me to receive his body because I was almost died due to depression. So everything was took care of by Siddarth itself. May his soul rest in peace.
I never thought about to start a new relationship with Siddarth. He is a sweet , gentle , kind and a lovable husband for me . Sometimes I feel really sorry for him that the amount of love and care which I am getting from him I can't even repay them back to him. Still without any complaints he remained by my side with full support. When we return back to Khurana house from Delhi so early everyone was bit surprised but siddarth handled the situation very well. I myself got a feeling that I was falling into deep depression. Aadarsh suggested us a good psycartsist who is one of his friend specialises in marriage counseling. Initially the sessions was really tough for me eventhough the problem was with me but siddarth also accompanied me. My depression, mood swings, anxiety like all worst conditions he remind by my side with much patience.
Jhanvi bhabhi gave birth to a healthy baby boy . He is really cute and chubby . Whole house were partying for at atleast a whole weak. Jhanvi bhabhi 's parents and relatives were also visited the baby a week before. Now the Khuranas second generation has 3 soul hires. Whenever guests came and was about to leave all of their faces turned towards me and siddarth and put that cliche dialogue infront of us.
" When are you guys going to give a good news. " That question really annoys me but more than me Siddarth was annoyed.
Siddarth got really attached to the baby and he always took him in his hands. Siddarth deserves a good happy family he likes to be with children very much. He never said anything to me but I can feel his needs. I will really try my best to give him a good life and I am trying my very best to forget about my past and move on.
I moved back to Siddarth's room on that day we came back from Delhi. He never forced me to be with him but always gave me my privacy . We shared the same bed but our mind was far away from us. During earlier days of our marriage I never felt this much uncomfortable with Siddarth he was like a good friend for me . But now everything changed I am trying to see him as my husband , I am trying to like him. He may have sensed my uneaseness around him may be that's why he never compelled me for anything.
After initial counseling sections my communication problem with him somewhat changed. We talked to each other but that was only just like questionnaires. He will ask me something and I will give it's answer that's what is called as our commutation. Doctor has advised to take a progressive step like having sex with my husband. Even after attending the counseling classes I failed several times. Getting indimate with my husband is not a problem but when that husband is none other than the cold blooded most handsome and famous criminal lawyer Siddarth Singh Khurana that is my problem. My past experience with him was not that much good and if he gets angry on anything I can't withstand with him. He is an ideal man for every girl in all means but whenever he stand in front of me my whole courage will loose somewhere. Sensing my starting trouble few times he initiated to get on bed but within minutes I will feel very uncomfortable and we will withdraw from our encounter. Siddarth never complaints about it but still he is also a man who has feelings . My feelings for sexual pleasure has already dead before. Now I am trying my best to get them back.
Today I am very much prepared for a romantic night with siddarth. My heart was pounding crazily because I am taking the initiative and siddarth doesn't even have any clue about this. By keeping everything in my mind that doctor advised me I waited for him at our room. At first I thought to change into something sexy nightwear but I don't have any and also if all of sudden I began to wear something like that siddarth will definitely put me in some asylum. So I remained in my jeans and a pink top. I have already bathe and put some pinky lip gloss and some light scented scent in my neck and wrist. I kept some vanilla scented candles at side table of our bed. It took three hours for me to search and gather all these informations from internet that how to make sex more romantic and how to increase your partner's mood. I have even practiced some erotic lines to say before our foreplay.
Time was already past 9 still he didn't come. I was waiting for him to have our dinner together but I think he's going to be very late. I wanted to try his phone but felt little awkward. This is my another problem now . I can't talk to Siddarth like before not even through phone. Before even if it was a fight I never felt such feelings then why this is happening now? By past 10 he came and I insisted to have dinner before moving to the room. He accepted my request and sit beside me. I also turned my plate to have dinner and Ganga served us.
" You still hadn't your dinner ? " He asked me what his furrowed eyebrows.
" No , I am going to have it . I was waiting for you " I said while taking a small piece from roti.
"Nivedita how many times I told you ? You don't have to wait for me . I will be very busy on these coming days so it's better you have dinner on time and go to bed early " he said with a serious tone.
There was something problem because his face was bit dark and the way he talked to me was also bit harsh. Even during the dinner he doesn't utter a word after finishing it he went straight towards his room and I followed him. He don't even noticed the special aroma inside the room and the little changes on me all he did after entering into room was took a quick shower and changed into a track pants and a T shirt then again sit infront of his laptop .
" Siddarth are you not going to sleep?"
I asked while standing infront of him.
" No I have some important work left. You can sleep don't wait for me " he said without taking his gaze from laptop screen.
I went towards the bed in a bit annoying way and started to read a book I decided to wait for him.
Sid's pov
When I enter into the house Nivi was waiting for me and she seems different. During the time of dinner also sometimes her hands touched me initially I thought it was accidental but no she was purposely doing it. When I entered the room it smells really good . Nivedita seems really restless and was moving behind me. After finishing my work I got into the bed but Nivi was still waiting for me without sleeping and time was already 12 am.
" Nivi if you want to say anything then please go ahead . You don't have to behave like this. " I said while standing beside my bed.
She stood from bed and looked down.
" Siddarth before many times we tried to get indimate but failed because of me. I may not be a perfect wife for you but still I wanted to play my role as wife by all means . So.." she wasn't even looking at me. But I got it what she was upto . With shaking legs and shivering body she moved towards me but I stopped her.
"Are you really sure about this ? "I asked with pulling a long face.
Nivi shook her head and stood there.
" So you don't have any problem that I am touching you. " I asked him.
"Yes I don't have any problem. " She replied.
" You really don't feel uncomfortable if I am close to you" I asked with a husky seductive sound and again took some steps forward. Nivedita didn't budge but she gulped a lump from her throat.
" Are you really fine if I kiss you even without your consent " this time I was really close to her and put my lips into the nape of her neck but I didn't kiss her instead I gave a hot blow. For which she took two steps back with her shivering body and this was what I wanted to check .
I sarcastically smrinked at her and moved towards my bed without saying anything.
" Siddarth , I am sorry we can try it for ...." She began to give me the explanation which I don't want to hear now. With my all anger suppressed inside I turned back to her.
"What we are going to try again Nivedita ? I am not a sex starved man. How I can be with a girl said to be my wife who will take 2 steps back if her husband take a single step forward. Do you really think after what I saw here now I will be in a mood to be with you. " I was not Angry at her but I was annoyed by her reaction.
" Siddarth I am trying my best but.." I cut off her talk
" Ya you are trying your best from the day we came back from Delhi still you are trying. But I am disappointed in you Nivedita not because you are not sleeping with me don't even think like that. Nivedita listen to me very carefully i want you , I need you but that's not your body I want your heart , I want you to love me , like me. The day you start to love me and feel care for me that day we will be together till then don't do anything stupid like this. " That was my last words or can be called as my feelings after that I get back to my bed and slept and Nivedita slept on couch.
Whatever I said was true I wanted Nivedita to love me without love there is no future for our relationship it will only become a burden. When I touch her I want to see her love and lust for me in her eyes . I want to make love with her only when she is completely ready for it . Whatever she was trying to do now was only to satisfy me or was trying to fullfill her responsibilities. I hope she will began to realise her love for me and willingly she come back to my side.