28. GROUPCHAT
SEBASTIAN
im eating out at a restaurant by myself and people are staring at me like they're judging me for it being just me
SEBASTIAN
im so lonely
SEBASTIAN
show me some love
MINNIE
I'll pass
LIZZIE
no thanks
TOM
I'd rather not
ANTHONY
lame
ROBERT
sorry I'm too busy
SEBASTIAN
myb Chris will love me
CHRIS
don't go pinning all your hopes on me, bud
CHRIS
or like any of them, for that matter
SEBASTIAN
when did we switch from attacking tom to attacking me
MINNIE
when you started deserving it more
TOM
!!!!!!
ANTHONY
huh would you look at that, it's like tim is trying to tip the scales back in his direction
TOM
you know guys I miss my quality daily chrinnie content
ROBERT
why does that word still exist
LIZZIE
hey the internet's claimed it, there's nothing we can do to change it now
MINNIE
but it's so ugly
CHRIS
our ?? relationship ?? isn't ?? ugly ??
MINNIE
I mean ofc it isn't I mean have you seen the both of us !!!
MINNIE
the name however needs to burn
CHRIS
idk it's kinda growing on me
MINNIE
brb throwing up
MINNIE
wait no that can wait lemme trash talk Peter Parkour real quick
TOM
I've been silent for the past like five minutes
MINNIE
ik but I thought of a good one so deal with it
TOM
fine
MINNIE
u know what Chris bb ??
CHRIS
what is it I-dont-know-ur-real-name
MINNIE
it's funny that tom misses us bc I haven't missed him one bit
TOM
what abt like half a bit
MINNIE
not even
TOM
a quarter ??
MINNIE
not one (1) bit
TOM
TWO BITS ??
ANTHONY
stop trying
TOM
wow guys new record we lasted 19 days without you making me cry myself to sleep !!
TOM
let's try for 20 next time !!
LIZZIE
oh wow he's been counting
TOM
I keep photographic records of my tear stained face
LIZZIE
make a collage out of them I dare u
ANTHONY
and wear it on a t-shirt for every. single. premiere.
TOM
if I did it would you like me
ANTHONY
my hate would probs turn into strong dislike, so it'd be a step in the right direction, Tim!
TOM
okay I'll consider it
MINNIE
hey so instead of talking abt chrinnie ever again here's an idea
LIZZIE
don't throw me under the bus
CHRIS
it's worrying that you know her so well
MINNIE
let's talk abt the fact that Elizabeth stole my girl
LIZZIE
I didn't steal
LIZZIE
she came willingly
LIZZIE
if u know what I mean ;)
MINNIE
wicca wicca woo
I hate you
LIZZIE
ly2
TOM
whOA WHAT THE HECK
ROBERT
shield ur eyes from the dirt, kid
ANTHONY
I like how everything thinks that Elizabeth is the good influence / mother hen of the group
ROBERT
i'M THE MOTHER HEN WYD
TOM
wAIT WAIT IM A GENIUS
MINNIE
uh no we're gonna tease lizzie for a bit don't pipe up
TOM
nO IM GONNA
LIZZIE
it pains me to say this but thank u
SEBASTIAN
oh boy what's he gonna say this time
MINNIE
nothing if he knows what's good for him
TOM
hey so if u want a better ship name suggestion; why not tell us ur real name and we'll be REAL creative with it !! come up with something much better !!
MINNIE
nice try but no
SEBASTIAN
that was actually pretty not dumb damn
TOM
wAS THAT A COMPLIMENT ??
SEBASTIAN
was what a compliment
TOM
you just said a nice thing to me
SEBASTIAN
oh wow would u look at that my phone must have been hacked
TOM
but it's fine now ??
SEBASTIAN
'TIS IS SIR-HACKS-A-LOT XOXOX
ANTHONY
idk abt you but I'm convinced
CHRIS
same
ROBERT
find out one Romanian man's trick for getting hacked !! 100% of people will tell you it's fake !!
SEBASTIAN
a me-me, for me? you shouldn't have!
MINNIE
yeah robert u really shouldn't have
ROBERT
c'mon let's give the guy a break just this once
SEBASTIAN
SEBASTIAN
DID SOMEONE SAY NUT
SEBASTIAN
im gonna screenshot the exchange, print it out, and hang it on every wall in my home
ROBERT
okay the once is over let's move on with our lives immediately
SEBASTIAN
the best 27 seconds of my life
ANTHONY
coincidentally that's the name of seb's sex tape
TOM
this is so fun when it isn't happening me omg
MINNIE
tomorrow you'll get your turn, tom, all will be well, peace and balance will be restored