Nathan left last night, he went to Kyle's, saying he needed to give me some time. I was grateful for it, but guilty as well. He shouldn't have had to leave for me, but he did, giving me a kiss on the forehead, as if I was afraid to kiss his lips. I'm not scared, or hurt im just confused. I understand why he kept that secret, he was afraid of me hating him for something he couldn't control. But that's it. He can't control it, it wasn't his choice, so it would be horrible if I judged him because of it. But he also told me he was getting a cure, that he didn't like what he was and that he wanted to be human. How can I be mad at that? How could I ever hate him for being different and wanting to be normal?
I think back to what he said about Kyle and realise how much of a difference there is between them. Kyle is so naturally human, you would never have guessed any different, but Nathan, he has always been mysterious, I should have known. When I first met them both, Kyle was the one who made me laugh and Nathan was the one intrigued me, who made me curious.
It's been one night and I know it is pathetic, but I miss him. I missed him yesterday after an hour or two, but now, I need him. I understand how he felt when I left, he just wanted me back and now I just want him back. I know he is a vampire and I know he is dangerous, but he saved me. He protected me. He gave me a home when I had nowhere to live. He slept on the sofa for days just so I could have his bed. Isn't his personaity what matters? Isn't that what I was taught when I was younger?
To Nathan
I miss you :( x
I type before pressing the send button, hoping that I have made the right decision. I trust him and I know that I probably shouldn't, but I do. I just hope he doesn't think bad of me for taking so long. I just can't stay away from him.
From Nathan
Really? x
I smile, feeling so guilty and horrible. Of course I missed him, why wouldn't I? He has been gone for an entire night, why wouldn't I miss him?
To Nathan
Yes, a lot, so get your arse back home x
After sending that, I smile as I wait for a reply. I can't wait for him to come home, I need to see him, I need to explain myself and apologise
From Nathan
Anything for you babe x
My cheeks burn, my heart literally does backflips and my smile is permanently etched onto my face as I read his name for me and how he would do anything for me. I told you he was nice really! After only three minutes, yes I counted, the door knocked, and Nathan was revealed looking awful. The red patches over his face, the dark circles under his eyes and the actually messy hair showed his bad state.
"Hey," he said, breaking the silence, but I did not reply, instead, I smashed my lips on his. He was surprised and so he stood there for a second, but then he returned it, pushing us inside, holding my waist and slamming the door with his foot.
"I'm sorry," I say, disconnecting us and holding his face in my hands.
"For what? You did nothing wrong," he whispers, still holding my waist. I smile crookedly.
"Yes, I did. I thought that what you are changes you, but it doesn't, it doesn't. You are still you, that hasn't changed and neither has the way I feel about you," I admit and see him smile, and I mean smile. It reaches his eyes and fills his face.
"Your amazing did you know that?" I laugh shaking my head. "I have something to say as well, so here it goes," he says making me smile.
"Lily-Rose James, you are the most beautiful, honest and genuine girl I have ever met. I want everyone to know how I feel about you, but now you know everything about me, you will know that is not possible. My job is dangerous, as is my life and I don't want you to be affected by it in any way, and so I want to ask you, will you be my secret girlfriend?" A tear falls from my eye as I nod and he kisses me once again.
We spend the day talking, him telling me about the other boys in the team. Apparently there are three people he works with that I haven't met, but the others are Kyle and James. James is the other reason why we have to be a secret. If people knew we were together, what would James do? What would he do if he knew I had deliberately ignored his demand, his threat? Immediately, I start to panic. He won't hurt me, Nathan won't let him, it's okay, you're safe, I think and watch as Nathan cooks for me in the kitchen.
I don't think I have ever witnessed someone try so hard to make another happy. He keeps apologising for not telling me, he says he was wrong not to trust me and so he what's to make it up to me, no matter how many times I tell him there is no need. I feel lucky, as lucky as I can be with a vampire as my boyfriend, to have him, to be treated so well by him.
After eating her dinner he made, the plates cleared as it was so good, we sit on the sofa, where I lie against him, my head resting on his shoulder as we watch frozen (yes I am watching it again because I love it so much). Unexpectedly, Nathan found everything Olaf said hilarious, his laugh making me laugh. I don't know why, but it was so perfect, it was infectious and I just couldn't help it.
"Do you want to go to a party? Kyle said there was one tomorrow night," he asks, but I sigh.
"I have work tomorrow, the next day and I have no clothes," I complain and watch as he frowns.
"How about after work you go to your place and bring your stuff here, then we can get changed and go, but we won't stay out late, I promise," he whispers, lightly kissing my jaw, obviously trying to distract me.
"I don't know," I say and watch as he kisses my jaw, moving further and further up until he is at the corner of my lips.
"Please?" He whispers, kissing my lips now, slowly and lightly. How can he do this? How can he literally make me feel so breathless, so blank by just kissing me?!
"Okay," I whisper and he smiles, moving away. He is evil.
I leave work, my blouse not shielding me from the strong, cold wind. One of the reasons I do not enjoy England, the weather. I stumble out of the building and make the short walk to my apartment, that I know will be empty. I wonder if Kelly left James, I wonder if they're still as mad at me as they were when I left. I wonder if I should say something, if I should do something. Should I apologise? No, I apologised when I left even though I did nothing wrong. I need to give them time, maybe soon they won't be as mad at me, maybe they will understand.
I open the door and peer inside, checking to see whether there is anyone in. When I see there is no one, I walk to my room which I see has been changed a little by Kelly, and take the clothes I left behind out, packing them in one of the suitcase I used whilst moving. When shoving shoes inside, I feel the phone in my pocket vibrate, and when I take it out, I see Ollie's name on the screen.
"Hello?" I ask into the phone and hear silence.
"Hey Rosie, you okay?" His voice is controlled, almost as if he is trying to hide something, try to conceal something from me.
"Yes I'm okay, why?"
"I just wondered, that's all, how is Steph?" I become confused as I think of the answer to the question. Is he psychic or something?
"Good, everything is good, are you okay?" He laughs.
"Yes, I'm fine I have to go, just wanted to check up on you, see you soon," he ended, making me feel the most uncomfortable I have felt in a while. That wasn't a normal conversation, it seemed like he knew something, like he knew what had happened. But how? I didn't tell him and no one else could have. Just as I am about to ring back and ask what is going on, the phone rings but it is not Ollie, it's Nathan.
"Hey babe, I'm coming to pick you up, is that okay?" He asks and I smile. I didn't know he would be this nice.
"Yeah, thank you, I'm just finishing packing," I answer.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes, by the way, Kyle is coming over today, he needs to talk through some stuff," he adds and I smile. I like Kyle. I like his carefree attitude, his caring side and his loyalty to Nathan.
"Okay, see you in a bit," I end and draw the heavy bag through the rooms until I reach the living room, where a wave of missing it here, washes over me. I love living with Nathan, I really do. I feel safe, happy and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but I miss it here. I miss being able to go home and talk to Steph, listen to her moan about boys and mentally moan about them myself, I miss being able to just say ice cream and then the ice cream is out, the sad movies are on and we can just cry, I miss her understanding what is wrong without me having to say anything and I miss being able to steal her things without her knowing and then putting them back before she noticed. I start to become more and more depressed as i think of all the memories we had, and so I dismiss all thoughts texting her,
To Steph
I've been round to get my stuff x
I then walk to the door, where I open it to see Nathan about to knock. He must see my saddened expression, as he takes the heavy bag from my hold and wraps his arm around my shoulders, where he squeezes me a little, telling me everything will be okay. I nod and follow him out to the car, not believing him.
I stand in the kitchen, washing the dishes once again, even though Nathan offered. I like cleaning, because it means I am doing my part and not just living here for free, I am sort of paying my way with buying the food and things, even if he disagrees. Once I am done, I dry my hands and go to put some of the food away when his arms wrap around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder, the way he usually does.
"I hate not being able to do this with you in public," he murmurs,"I want to scream from on the top of this building that you're my girl," he says and I giggle.
"So cheesy," I say and see him smirk.
"So true," he responds, taking my hand in a second, he spins me around so he is facing me, looking in my eyes so deeply, before he kisses me, hard. He pushes his lips on mine, and I move mine in sync with his. It feels so right, no matter how cliche that sounds, it does. He holds my waist and I rest my arms on his shoulders, bending them around his neck, holding his hair.
"Hey- oh, shit, urrm, fucking hell," a voice says, breaking us apart. I know it's Kyle when I see that smirk, that cocky, over confident smirk.
"Piss off Kyle," Nathan growls, looking at me, getting closer to me. I want to kiss him again, but not with Kyle watching. I move back, giving Nathan a playful wink, while I turn to Kyle.
"Hey Lily, don't you look beautiful," Kyle says coming to me. I look down at my jeans and t-shirt and shrug, returning the hug Kyle gives me.
"Hey Kyle, want a drink?" I ask and when he tells me a beer, I run to the fridge as they go to the sofa. With two cans in my hand, I sit beside Nathan and he puts his arm around me, kissing my temple. I blush as Kyle pretends to gag.
"What are we talking about?" I ask and see Kyle turn serious.
"Well I wanted to ask you about the night you were attacked, under normal circumstances, Nathan would have asked you but he is forbidden to see you. Can you tell me what you remember of that night?" I smile, trying to act unphazed but most of my memories were of Nathan's rescuing me.
"I was walking out of work, I was trying to find somewhere to eat and stupidly, I went down a few wrong roads and got lost. I ride to call someone but my phone was dead and then I started to walk back the way I came but I just became more confused. Then, I saw a man in the distance, he as really far away but I walked away anyway, and then he followed and got closer so quickly, I knew it wasn't right. He said 'hello Lily-Rose,' and when I asked how he knew my name, he told me he knew a lot about me, and then he started to hit me and push me to the ground. He was going to kill me, then Nathan came and when he tried to hurt me, Nathan pulled him away. He hit Nathan so Nathan hit back and they were fighting and the next thing I know the man who hurt me was dead and being dragged where no one would see him and Nathan was helping me," I explained and felt Nathan freeze and Kyle stare. What had I said? What did I say?
"He knew your name? He said he knew a lot about you? How?" I immediately realise I had never told Nathan that, if he knew my name, what else did he know?
"I don't know, what does it mean?"
"It means that your attacker did not just stumble upon you, he was looking for you because he knew you. He must have followed you or something, it means you're more involved in this then we thought, then we wanted," Kyle says and I start to panic. Nathan gets to his feet, pacing.
"No Kyle, she is not involved. I won't let her. It's too dangerous, she can get hurt, I need to protect her man, she is not involved, I won't let her," he worries, panicking more than me.
"Mate, she already is. The knew her, they must have seen you together, or seen her with me or someone else from the group. You need to protect her, yes, but you may also have to understand that she is in danger because she is involved." I start to get more terrified when it is explained like that.
"What do we do?" Nathan asks, standing strong, his previous, wrecked self gone and replaced with one ready for anything.
"First of all, we make sure that you two, no matter how close you are, are kept apart, there can be no suspicions about you, or else Nathan's will be fired and Lily will be in more danger. Secondly, we tell James about him knowing of Lily, explaining what Lily told me. Then, the last thing but the most important is that Lily is kept safe. You can't be more involved in this then you already, it's too dangerous. Are we clear?" I nod, trying to keep my calm and so does Nathan, even thought I see through his hard features to the worried, softy who misses me after fifteen minutes.
Thank you so much for reading, I am so grateful, let me know what you think! Do you like it? X