What qualities are best in a person?
Shortly after I decided to attend Kale, I found that I had been placed into a Facebook group called "Kale University Freshman Boys Roommate Search 2017." I immediately opened up the page for the group and scrolled through the posts.
As I looked through everything that had been posted on the page, I saw that the page was exclusive to boys who were attending Kale in the fall and looking for roommates, as implied by the name of the group. There seemed to be an endless number of people looking for roommates, and scrolling through all of them nearly gave me a headache.
The first post on the page was from a boy named Joe Trohman, which I accidentally misread as Joe Trohham when I first read it.
Hello everyone! My name is Joe, and I can't wait to attend Kale University in the fall. I'm passionate about Star Wars, my guitar, and theoretical physics. I'm planning to live in Flack Hall, and although I realize that most people say that it's the worst dorm, it can't be that bad. It's right next to the science building! Would anyone like to be my roommate?
There were two replies to that post.
Eduardo Gonzales: Don't live in Flack. My sister lived there last year, and she said that it sucked. It's so far away from everything, and the Greek Friendship Society will keep you up all night.
Joe Trohman: Disregard this post. I already found a roommate.
I kept scrolling and found another post that looked interesting.
Hey guys! My name is Andy Hurley, and I'm planning to double major in ecology and political science here at Kale University. I'm a proud straightedge, and I love Crossfit. Let me know if you'd like to be my roommate!
Andy looked like a cool guy, and I was contemplating sending him a private message to see if he wanted to be my roommate until I saw that someone else had already replied.
Joe Trohman: I'd love to be your roommate, Andy!
Andy Hurley: Cool. Do you have a preference as to which residence hall we should live in?
Joe Trohman: I kind of wanted to live in Flack.
Andy: I'm fine with that. Let's submit our housing requests.
I scrolled through more posts, but it looked like most of the people who had posted had already found roommates. By this point, I was starting to question what I was really looking for in a roommate. Did I want my roommate to care about me and my problems? Did I want someone who would be honest with me? Did I want someone who I could have a long intense conversation about what was right and wrong with? I wasn't quite sure.
There had to be something else that could make someone a perfect roommate. There were plenty of people, especially at Kale, who were kind, trustworthy, and intelligent, but that didn't necessarily make them great roommates. Besides, most of those people already had roommates. I knew that there must be some sort of secret ingredient that I hadn't seen yet in anyone.
Then again, I wasn't the best person to talk about this. I had never shared a room before in my life, and as an only child, I had lived with only my mother for most of my life. Living in the same room as someone else at Kale would be a new experience for me, and perhaps I wasn't the right person to say what would make a person a perfect roommate.
As I was considering what I was looking for, another person posted on the Facebook page.
Hi everyone! I'm Patrick Stump, and I'm so excited to start school here in the fall! Here are a few facts about me:
I'm from Chicago.
I made this Facebook account for the purpose of roommate searching, because I'm never on the Internet.
I love music!
After college, I want to be a veterinarian so I can play with bunnies all day.
That's all! Would anyone like to be my roommate?
I immediately clicked on Patrick's Facebook page, which had absolutely nothing on it with the exception of a blurry picture of the bespectacled boy that also served as his profile picture. I then sent Patrick a message, and our conversation went something like this.
Me: Hi Patrick! I saw your post on the Kale University Roommate Search page, and you seem like a sweet guy, but I have a question.
Patrick: Hello Ryan! It's very nice to meet you. What's your question?
Me: Do you like the Beatles?
Patrick: I was in a Beatles cover band once. Does that count?
Already, I knew that I had found the perfect roommate. Once Patrick said that, I realized that finding someone else who loved the Beatles as much as I did was the one thing that I was really looking for in a roommate. I just had to ask him a few more questions to ensure that Patrick was truly the music lover that I envisioned in my brain.
Me: I'd say that it does.
Patrick: What's your opinion on the Beatles?
Me: They're my favorite band. Do you have a favorite album/song?
Patrick: I like most of their music. How about you?
Me: I like most of their music too, but I think Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is especially wonderful. There's something about that album that makes it an excellent soundtrack for daydreaming, and it always makes me feel better about life when I listen to it. The Beatles are kind of like nature's therapist.
Patrick: That's neat, though I've never thought of the Beatles in that way. Just out of curiosity, what are your plans for when you get to Kale?
Me: I'm going to be a philosophy major. I just find the subject to be simply fascinating.
Patrick: That's interesting. I'm planning to major in biology, because I love animals and I want to go to vet school after I graduate from Kale. What clubs do you want to join?
Me: I'm probably joining the Guyliner Club and the Cookie Baking Club. I suppose I'll see what else there is when I get there. I'd love to learn more about the various student organizations at Kale, but the tours don't do a great job of telling you what it's really like to be a Kale student.
Patrick: I agree. I've been on so many college visits that all of the schools seem the same to me.
Me: Then again, having a tour that would tell you what it would be like to be a Kale student would be like having a tour that would predict the future, but that's not possible. Or is it? What if time travel actually is possible? Would that make the past or future more real? Is the future real at all?
Patrick: Holy smokes Ryan, what are you doing?
Me: Sorry, Patrick. I just got sidetracked. It happens a lot.
Patrick: It's okay. Anyways, I was thinking of joining the Cookie Baking Club too. Maybe we should go together!
Me: That sounds great. I'd love to check out the Cookie Baking Club with you.
Patrick: Do you have any more questions?
Me: I have a lot more questions, but none of them really apply to you.
Patrick: Excellent. Would you like to be my roommate?
Me: I'd love to be your roommate, Patrick. You seem nice, and more importantly, you like the Beatles.
Patrick: Believe it or not, "Across The Universe" just came on.
Me: That song is so beautiful. Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...but how can rain be endless? A storm always stops eventually, and words can't flow endlessly either. Even the longest of novels has an end to it. Everything has an end, so "endless" is kind of a meaningless word, so why did John Lennon use it?
Patrick: It's just a song lyric.
Me: I know, and it is a pretty lyric. Maybe he meant that words are flowing out almost endlessly? That would make more sense, but it wouldn't fit the rhythm of the song, so I can see why he resorted to "endless rain."
Patrick: So do you want to submit our housing request?
Me: I'll go do that. I'll talk to you soon, Patrick.
Patrick: Bye Ryan.
I closed the Facebook page and opened up the housing request form. I immediately started filling in my information, and of course, I requested to have Patrick Stump as my roommate. I smiled as I wrote in some more information and thought of my Beatles-loving roommate. Already, I was certain that he would be an excellent companion for my first year at Kale University.
However, I came across an issue when I had to select the residence hall that I wanted to live in. I tried to select the Freshman Quad, but an error message popped up on my computer.
"Attention!" the message read. "This dormitory is full. Please select a different building to live in."
Where would I live if I couldn't live in the Freshman Quad? Most of the other residence halls were only open to upperclassmen. I returned to Facebook and saw that I had another message from Patrick.
"It looks like the only other residence hall that isn't full and is open to freshmen is Flack Hall," Patrick said. "We'll both have to live there."
I didn't respond to Patrick, but I considered everything that I had heard about Flack Hall. The Joe Trohman fellow who was on the Facebook page earlier had clearly wanted to live there, but according to Eduardo Gonzales, the Greek Friendship Society would keep me up all night. Then again, I had never lived in Flack myself. I would just have to see what it was like when I got there, and then I could form my opinion on it.
I returned to the housing request form and selected Flack Hall. Despite the fact that I wasn't in the best dorm on campus, I was satisfied with how the roommate selection and housing process had turned out. When I came to Kale in the fall, I would live with a fellow Beatles fan, and that was all that I had asked for.