The night over at Rochelle's was good, the guys were acting like right twats and played on Rochelle's Wii whilst we just sat around talking. I had told Rochelle and Sarah about Chloe's ditching me twice in the space of 3 days, bloody bitch.
"I can't believe she'd actually do something like that." Chelle said shaking her head. Sarah tutted.
"She's done it to me before, it was fucking out of order, but I learned to forgive and forget."
"I can't forgive or forget this. It's not like she's done it once." I pointed out still feeling pissed off. Rochelle nodded.
"Exactly, it's unacceptable. Since when was she so interested in dick?"
"Since year 8." I said, it's still cringe, like why do it?
"Just ignore her, she'll come around." Sarah shrugged.
"What do you mean? She's been doing it ever since, when she gets pregnant I'll laugh." Chelle scrunched up her face.
"Same here. By the way do you have any Barcardi Breezer?" She nodded and stood up.
"I'll go get some." She smiled and left the room.
"Aye Stace, I like your top." Damien smiled at me. I gave him evil's in return. I still didn't understand why he was here. Spencer, Jamie and Ajarni were okay to be around right now, but I couldn't stand Damien, he gets on my tits!
"Whatever."
"Arne't you gonna thank me?"
"For what?"
"I gave you a compliment."
"And?" Sarah laughed and he gave me a look.
"I'll remember that." I gave him the thumbs up and he narrowed his eyes at me, so I just smiled in return.
"Why's he here?" I whispered to Sarah. She laughed.
"Stace, that's rude!"
"I was being serious, it's a question."
"Well he tagged along with Ajarni of course, why?"
"He's annoying."
"Only to you, cos he likes you." I raised an eyebrow and Rochelle came back with 3 Barcardi Breezers. I grinned and took the apple flavoured one then Sarah took the other. I opened them and took a sip.
"Ahh, wonderful." I said.
"Freak." Rochelle giggled, "Cheers." We all done clinked our bottles and Ajarni shook his head.
"You lot are neeks, where's ours? We're guests too man."
"Kitchen." Chelle smiled.
"I see how you can bring them to the chicks but when it comes to us mandem you make us get it. I see how it is." Spencer shook his head.
"You never told me you wanted one." She shruggedd.
"Sexist, that's what you are init." He said standing up to get one.
"Drama queen, let it go." I said with a laugh. He kissed his teeth and left the room.
"Init Damien likes Stace Chelle?" Sarah whispered. Rochelle laughed.
"Obviously." I gave her a look. What the hell?
"Why does everyone think this? He's just a random guy, we both hate eachother."
"Correction; YOU hate him, he shows you nothing but luurrrveee." Rochelle winked.
"Told you." Sarah said with a knowing smile. I looked over at him sat there on the sofa with his hand on his crotch. Urgh! Tramp. He caught me looking and raised an eyebrow, I gave him a disgusted expression then turned back to the other 2.
"He makes me physically sick to my stomach." I stated. They both started laughing, Rochelle even spilled some of her drink, I weren't trying to be funny.
"You know he wasn't gonna come until he found out you were gonna be here." Sarah said.
"Urgh! He should fuck off!" I shouted.
"Aye shush! We're tryna hear this." Jamie said giving us a stern look and then turning back to the big screen to review the World Cup Highlights. Rochelle rolled her eyes.
"World cup, urgh it's shit."
"How?" Sarah raised an eyebrow. She was the only one out of us lot to actually like sports. She was the athletic type, and had the figure to show it. I was actually quite jel of her appearance, I wish I could be sporty like her.
"I just find it unnecessary." Chelle answered with a shrug.
"But it's like the Olympics, just everyone representing their country, what's the harm in that?"
"It's shit! I'll stick to Big Brother thanks." Sarah rolled her eyes.
"Of course you would, you're a stalker like that."
"Shhh!" I laughed loudly and Spencer threw a cushion at my head.
"Hush your gums Stace, you and your big mouth."
"Fuck off you twat, you messed up my hair." I gave him a cold screw and he smiled sweetly then turned back around. I didn't even realise he came back into the room.
"I don't know why you let them come Chelle." Sarah said giving them all looks. She shrugged.
"Needed a change." I patted down my hair but it was still messy. I got up and left the room and went to the bathroom next door to look at myself in the mirror. I appeared drained, my face especially. I realised there was no longer joy or happiness in my eyes, they showed it all. I had slight bags as well. When David does things to me I never sleep on the same night. I just sit at the edge of my bed and stare at the wall for a few hours or so, then I'd draw more pictures of my dad or I'd cry into my pillow until the morning approached. I sighed and got my brush out and brushed through my hair thoroughly. The blond streaks were awesome. I never once regret dying my hair, blond looks way better. I smiled at myself in the mirror but even when I smiled I still didn't seem happy enough. Like it was a mask to cover and conceal my true feelings and emotions, a mask I'd been using since I was 10. I sighed and put the brush down and just stared at myself. I could hear the others laughing from the living-room. That's something I wish I could do for real. Laugh.
"You alright?" I looked in the reflection of the mirror and of course this boy was stood there leaning on the doorway and staring at me curiously. I scoffed quietly.
"Damien why are you here?"
"Answer the question."
"What's it to you?" I asked, turning the tap on slowly. He shrugged.
"This whole evening I can tell you've been pissed off and upset, might as well let it out right now."
"It's got nothing to do with you." He carried on staring at my back. I bent down and washed my face, I came back up and dabbed it with a near-by towel. I could feel his cold stare burning into my back. I opened my eyes and peered in the mirror and he was right behind me. I jumped, I didn't hear his footsteps come any closer. How the bloody hell did he do that? Well freaky. I kept looking in the mirror, I could see everything by looking at it, so there was no need to turn around. He slowly slithered his hands around my hip area.
"You can tell me anything." He said quietly. I was confused, he used to hate me and now he's offering help. Why?
"There's nothing to tell." I said to the mirror.
"There is, I know something's wrong, why don't you just say?"
"You're not the right person to be informed."
"I'm a good listener Stace." He whispered. He touched my hair and smiled down at me, whilst I looked at the mirror still. Why was he touching me? No - an even better question, why am I letting him?
"Wooooiii! Inna inna inna! Dagga that D!" We both turned and Spencer was smiling hardcore. Damien let go of me and turned to him.
"Fucking neek, what's wrong wid you?" He laughed and looked at me.
"Stace is that you now yeah?! In the bathroom aswell, gonna get busy on the sink and shit, atleast get the lube first!" He smiled. My cheeks flushed bright red and I quickly looked away. Nothing to be guilty or shy about, but he just made it seem believable, the way we were stood at the sink. But it wasn't my fault.
"Fuck off man." Damien said closing the door in his face.
"Aye, invite man in!" He called from the other side.
"Fuck off!" Damien called. I heard Spencer's footsteps move away from the door gradually, I looked away. He turned to me and kissed his teeth.
"Ignore him Stace." He said. I nodded slowly and he came closer. "So you gonna tell me?" He asked softly. I quickly dodged past him and went to the door. "Stace..." He called. I quickly left and went back into the living-room. Spencer looked at me.
"Done already you naughty gal." He winked and I gave him evils.
"Oh shut up." I said. I tutted and Rochelle laughed.
"I heard you two was getting it on!"
"Nothing was being 'got on' I was in the bathroom and he came in afterwards, that's all."
"Hmm." Sarah smiled.
"Ahh, you can all kiss my ass." I grabbed my carrier bag and they started laughing. I left the room and and went into Rochelle's to get changed into my pj's. I slipped on my pink pijama's and decided to rub off all my make-up. Never ever sleep in make-up, EVER! It's just not good. I saw myself in her mirror and stuck my tongue out in disgust. Without foundation my face was just hideous, never to be seen by the naked eye. I went back in there to see Ajarni getting Jamie into a headlock. I just blinked and looked away. I swear, people these days...
"Stace, come lemme do your nails." Spencer said. Not even Chelle or Sarah... Spencer. I gave him an odd look.
"What?"
"Your nails. Come here, mans good at this manicure shit." I laughed.
"No I'm okay thanks."
"I can do all them sick patterns like them chinese women, lemme show you."
"I'm fine. Do Sarah."
"Already have." I looked at Sarah's nails and they actually didn't look too bad. I laughed.
"Woah, okay do me." I smiled. Ajarni started laughing.
"Rarh, that's dutty, about do me."
"Shut up. I didn't mean it like that!"
"Init, she's not Chloe you know." Rochelle said. All our mouths gaped open and she laughed, "What?"
"Abit harsh." Sarah said.
"Argh! Come on; I know it, you all know it. Chloe's a fucking slag!"
"I think that's the alcohol talking." Jamie said.
"Fuck the alcohol and fuck her. She pisses me off." I looked around, I hated Rochelle angry, and it was always about Chloe aswell.
"Someone needs a good nights sleep." Ajarni hinted.
"Yeah, let's get changed shall we?" Sarah said pulling Rochelle up with her. She tutted and they both left the room. Jamie laughed.
"I wanna see."
"So do I." Ajarni winked and they both got up and left aswell. Spencer was still sat there next to Damien who had entered just in time to hear Rochelle badmouth Chloe. I looked at Damien and he looked back. Spencer gave us both odd glances.
"Want me to leave you two alone?" He asked after a quiet snigger.
"Don't be stupid." I said rolling my eyes. Damien stared at me for a few seconds before turning away. Spencer laughed.
"Soooo..." He said with a sigh.
"Shut the fuck up man." Damien said getting angry. I looked away and fiddled with my nails. Being in the same room with Damien now was making me nervous. And Spencer thinks we're doing something in secret, I don't like people thinking that, I don't even like Damien. I felt a vibration from my phone and took it out of my bra. It was from an unknown number.
+447957846394
-I wna c yu 2moro,
u got wrk?
I raised an eyebrow and replied;
-Erm yeah I do,
Whos this? x
They text back;
-Javon, u cumin yh?
I bit my lip and said;
-Alryte, after work x
I put my phone away and thought for a moment. It was well weird how Chloe's brother wanted to see me all of a sudden, and it seemed so desperate. I heard a loud scream from Rochelle's room and laughter then a loud bang. No doubt they were all fighting. Spencer quickly got up and ran out the room to see what was happening. I glanced at Damien to see he was staring at me the whole time.
"Why do you stare at me?" I asked feeling worried. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"You don't get it do you?" I blinked in confusion.
"Get what?" He rubbed his face then stood up from the sofa.
"Figure it out for yourself Stace." He said before leaving the room. I stared into space and thought about what he had just said. Figure it out for myself? Figure out what?
The argument I had with Chloe the next day was unbelievable, during lunchtime I had decided to confront her with Rochelle and Sarah and decided to tell her exactly what I thought. Of course she disagreed that she was a 'whore' and it ended up turning into a massive argument. We managed to get separated by the teachers before it got too serious, I never got to finish what I had to say though, she was being such a cow! A few hours afterwards and I just felt extremely run down. My head was killing me, my stomach ached continuously, and my legs felt so weak it was bloody unbelievable. Not only that, but I was walking into work too. A whole other 3 hours of my shift then I have to go to Chloe's to see Javon. That sounded fucking long to me. Stacking just wasn't me at a point like this, I better get this over and done with, but then again I didn't wanna seem too anxious to go, I'd better stay happy. You can do it Stace, just fake your happiness like you do everyday, it's not that hard, you're used to it now. I took a deep breath and opened the doors with the fakest smile on my face ever. I smiled at Mr. Herman and walked to the staff room. I went to my locker and put my belongings away.
"You didn't answer." I turned and Nathan was leaning against the wall near the staff-room door. I laughed nervously.
"What?"
"Man called yesterday, you didn't answer." I scratched my head.
"Oh erm sorry, I must have missed the call. Been really tired lately.." I laughed and he just stared at me unamused, so I cleared my throat and looked away. I locked the locker and put the keys in my pocket. I went to the door to try and get through but he blocked my way. Fucking brilliant. "Erm, I kinda need to get through." I said politely. He looked down at me and stared some more. He was never usually this serious. I was starting to wonder if he felt offended by me missing the phone call. He scrutinised me for a moment more before tilting his head to the side a lil.
"Why do you wear make-up?" He asked quietly. I sighed a sigh of relief and laughed.
"Because I'd be hideous without it." I said as-a-matter-of-factly. He raised an eyebrow.
"I hate when gyals say that. You know for a fact if no make-up was invented you'd make do with your own face, so what's the point?"
"Well I like foundation, eye-shadow, and mascara, is that a problem?"
"Yeh it is, you'd look better without it. You're really beautiful." I blushed.
"Thanks."
"Just cut down on the make-up init, you don't need it."
"O-okay." I smiled shyly and he stepped aside and let me through the door. I could feel my cheeks flush. No-ones called me beautiful before, even Aaron just calls me pretty or 'well hot', but never beautiful. I found that sweet of him. It actually made my day. I saw Rebecca behind the counter looking more than glum. I decided to risk it and go over to her, despite the fact I could get in trouble for 'slacking'. I picked up a pair of addidas trainers regardless to make it seem like I was working. "What's up Becc's?" I asked putting the pair in a random box. She sighed and brung her head up. Stressed was an understatement. She looked truly depressed, which wasn't like her at all.
"Nothing really." She said. I stared at her glum face.
"You seem upset." I said.
"Confused is the word." She mumbled. I laughed.
"Why though?"
"Just thinking about my love life." I sat on the counter, suddenly interested in the conversation.
"Tell me all about it." I said with a smile. She sighed again, this time deeper.
"I have a man yeah? But he's a prick and he's doing something with another girl." I gasped and held my chest. I could never imagine Aaron doing that to me!
"Oh no!"
"And then this other wasteman comes along; he's just so annoying and a waste of space. But he's also my friend and I'm beginning to get attached to him. It's not right ." That's a dilemma, I whistled.
"Woah." I muttered.
"Fucked up init?" She said rubbing her face. I bit my lip.
"Very. So you're saying you like this boy that came along?" She went into thinking mode as I waited for her answer.
"Nah, I'm just saying I'm getting used to his company, he says he likes me." Hmm...
"Ohh, but what makes you think your man's doing something with another girl?" I questioned crossing my legs.
"I don't think, I know. It's so obvious. Facebook shows me everything. They take pictures together and shit, they look like a couple." Her angry face deepened.
"Have you said anything to him?"
"Not yet but I will get to the bottom of this, trust me." I nodded slowly then she looked at me. I felt like Maury. I love that show, I think it's awesome! Maybe I could do something like that for my future career, or be like Judge Judy, but then again I'd have to gain some confidence for that first. Hmm.
"Where's Kayden?" I asked finally remembering he worked here. She shrugged not bothered.
"Dunno, why?"
"Nothing, just wondering." She still stared at me.
"Do you like him Stacey?" WHAT! I started laughing. Kayden! Yeah right! Sure he was buff but I'm not a man stealer! How the bloody 'ell can she ask me if I liked her own future husband?!
"No! What kinda question is that?" I said with a sigh. That was hilarious.
"Fair enough." She mumbled. I shook my head and laughed then brushed some hair out of my eyes. Seriously I may need to cut my fringe, every minute it goes in my eyes, bloody hell!
"When did you dye your hair?" Becc's asked as she touched it gently. I shrugged.
"Like last week. I decided blonde was the new way to go." She smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I laughed and saw Tyler approaching the counter. My eye's widened. How the hell did he know I worked here! He saw me looking and grinned at me.
"You alright b?." He asked. I nodded and he hugged me. Okay... only known you for a day but I guess I can hug you back. I patted his back and he let go. I saw Rebecca with her mouth literally hanging open. I can understand why though. Tyler had quite big muscles and could kill with his intimidating looks. It's funny how I wasn't scared of him that time at Matthews house with Chloe. I laughed at the face Rebecca was making and decided to introduce him.
"Tyler this is Rebecca, Rebecca this is my 'friend' Tyler." He nodded towards her like most geezers do.
"Cool." He said with his deep voice.
"Hi." She said with a polite smile, but I know what she thought deep down. She looked away and he stood infront of me staring up at me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked feeling confused.
"I asked Chloe where you worked, and she told me."
"But why?"
"I want my hoody back man, the evenings can get chilly you know." I laughed.
"Okay, well if you want I can give it to you another day."
"Why not today?"
"Well I kinda have something to do today and tomorrow, so the day after?"
"Hmm." Mr. Herman came through the back doors and started clapping at us to get my attention, I hate when he does that!
"Alright you two, stop slacking; Stacey get back to work please!" He said in his faggoty voice. Gawd, he's such a cock! I rolled my eyes and jumped off of the counter and walked to the stock room with Tyler following behind. I looked at him and gasped.
"Tyler you're not meant to be around here!" He dug both hands into his pockets and simply shrugged.
"Aye that Rebecca chicks nice, you got her number?" I scoffed,
"Why don't you go ask her yourself?"
"She's scared of man."
"Well good, cos she already has a boyfriend."
"So?"
"And she's one year older than you."
"...So?"
"She doesn't go for younger boys." I said. Even though they were the same age.
"How do you know?" I didn't. But I wouldn't like Tyler to get in-between what Rebecca and Kayden may have one day, therefore I had to make sure he steered clear of her at all times.
"I just do." I answered picking up some boxes, "Sorry to burst your bubble mate." He laughed.
"Nah you're so white." I huffed.
"Will you stop saying that!"
"But you are,"
"Must you state the obvious?!"
"Hm, you got a fat bum doh." I gasped, shocked and turned around to face him.
"Don't say that!"
"Why, it's nice."
"Stop it!"
"What the fuck is your problem?"
"Bums are hideous! I like to think I have a cute little butt thank you very much." I got the step-ladder and brought it over to another shelf, he followed and stared at my butt as I climbed to get a higher pair of sneakers.
"Nahh I dunno what happened but you got some black gyal backoff." He smiled still analysing my butt.
"Please, just stop." I rolled my eyes and got back to work.
It was the end of my shift. As I walked down the road I couldn't help but wonder what Javon wanted from me. I've had an uber crush on him in the past, but to meet him now was more than irrelevant. He wanted nothing to do with me before, so why all of sudden does he have such an interest in me? I eventually got to Chloe's door and knocked. The door flew open seconds later and Javon stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was dripping, and his whole body was just... wet. I tried my best to keep my mouth closed but lust had got the better of me so I just stared. He laughed and it snapped me back into the awful reality.
"Come in then." He said with his lucious smile. I laughed nervously before stepping inside. He closed the door and turned to me. I cleared my throat and was about to ask something when he interrupted me. "Want something to drink?" He asked casually, as if he wasn't just stood there like sex on a stick. I coughed and nodded slowly.
"Water please." I asked kindly with a smile. He nodded and I followed him into the kitchen. He poured me a cold glass of water and handed it to me. I drank it slowly and he stared at me in an odd way, I glanced at him then quickly looked away. The temptation was slowly eating away my insides. After I finished my water he led me to the living-room. I waited for him to sit down first so I could sit in the opposite chair, but he chose to do the same thing and waited for me to sit first. In the end I admitted defeat and took a seat first, Javon came and sat right next to me. His wet bare chest glistening from the light dangling from the ceiling. It was driving me crazy.
"How did you get my number?" I asked randomly to draw myself away from his body.
"Chloe's phone." He said with a shrug.
"Oh okay. Where is she anyway?" The bitch wasn't anywhere in sight. Usually she'd be lounging around or upstairs in her room straightening her hair. He shrugged again.
"Fuck knows." He mumbled. No doubt she was at Matthews, her new toy boy. I fiddled with my fingers and he stared at me in a weird way. I took a deep breath.
"So, you said you wanted to see me?" I asked. He chuckled lightly.
"I wanna show you something."
"What is it?"
"Come." He said standing up. After a brief moment of hesitation I stood up also and followed him. He walked upstairs and I followed. It was such a misson not to watch his backside as he walked infront of me. I was so tempted. Don't do it Stace, you have Aaron! He opened the door to his room and let me walk in first, then walked in after me. He shut his door and faced me, silence surrounded the room. I looked around, it's been ages since I've been in here. Whenever I would be at Chloe's house, she'd always go to the shop, leaving me with Javon. He would always take me to his room and we'd sit and chill. He had a weird obsession with touching my legs though, but back then I thought it was normal, I didn't see anything wrong with it. I gave a big sigh.
"What's this thing you're showing me then?" He came closer and gently pushed me back onto his bed. I was confused but he didn't do anything, just stood there watching me.
"Close your eyes." He said quietly. I gulped and slowly shut my eyes to comply. I heard shuffling and felt him come closer.
"Remember them good old days Stace?" He began.
"Ermm, what do you mean?" I questioned with my eyes still closed.
"The days when you liked me, remember?" I felt my cheeks flush bright red. I actually can't believe we're having this conversation.
"Yeah I remember." I admitted in a low tone. I heard him chuckle and could picture his beautiful face and his wonderful cheek bones perked up.
"And you know I liked you." He said. I nodded slowly not sure where he was going with this.
"You had a girlfriend." I countered thinking of his ex, boy was she a total bitch.
"Fuck her man, I was more interested in you." I shrugged and was adapting to the darkness with my eyes still shut.
"It wouldn't have made a difference, you always said I was young anyways."
"That was before though init." I heard him walking about the room and wondered what he was tryna do.
"So what are you trying to say?" I asked bewildered. I felt his soft hands gently hold mine and lift it upwards, almost as if to guide me. He used my hand and placed it on his firm, broad chest. I was confused and began to feel weird inside.
"Do you still feel the same way Stace?" He asked in a husky voice. He still had my hand sandwiched between his hand and chest as he stroked it up and down. I could feel his hard abs on my fingertips. I gulped hard.
"Ermm, I... I dunno."
"You don't know?" He carried on his motion, making me stroke his torso slowly and teasingly.
"Erm, n-no, I.. I'm not sure." I muttered. The feel of his chest was getting to me big time.
"Mm, cos I've been thinking about it y'kna." I remained silent. He gently pulled me up and told me to keep my eyes closed. He still held my hand gently but firm and used his free hand to pull me closer. I was totally unaware of certain things and felt exposed cos I couldn't do anything right now. "I want you to tell me how you feel b." He said quietly. I nodded slowly, needless to say I was nervous. Using his hand he brought mine down lower, and lower, and even lower, to the point where I could feel his pelvis. My breathing increased as well as my heart rate. The next thing I felt made my heart race. My jaw dropped, my whole body tensed and my breathing became uneven. I swallowed hard and he kept my hand there. "Stroke it." He whispered. I don't know what came over me but I done it, and he made a lil grunt which actually sounded quite sexy I might add. I was turned on, unfortunately temptation had won. I rubbed up and down on it, knowing fully well what it was and I heard him sigh quietly. I know it's wrong because he's technically a family friend. Now I know what Chloe meant by 'Once you go black, you never go back'. I sighed and he left my hand there as I done it. I suddenly felt his soft lips touch mine and kiss me gently whilst holding me close. This wasn't the first time he's kissed me, so I was used to it. He slowly moved me back to his bed and we both fell backwards. I continued the movement of my hand as the kiss got more intense and rough. I haven't had a good snog like this in forever, and who would have thought Javon would be the one to give it to me. He moved his face away and focused on my neck instead. He kissed my neck as I stroked him continuously.
"Go faster." He whispered on my lips. I done as he said and he roughly bit my neck, making me groan in pain and causing me to finally open my eyes. I felt light headed as I stared up at the ceiling. After all these years of having an unhealthy obsession with Javon; wishing for him to hold me, kiss me, be inside me, it was finally happening. David never showed love and mum was never around, Aaron wasn't a huge help either. My whole life has been bare for atleast 3 years, my wish was finally beginning to come true...
But Javon was 19, even though I was legal something just didn't feel right. He kissed my lips again and was beginning to pull up my top but I quickly pushed him off.
"No Javon, stop!" I said in panic. He was completely naked with his 'friend' highly noticeable, I turned away with a shrill gasp. This isn't right! I was stupid to come over in the first place, it was sick to do such a thing! I knew something like this would happen. I sat up and he glared at me.
"I thought this is what you wanted?" I heard him say as he reached for his boxers.
"No! I don't want this, I already have a boyfriend, I can't." I sighed and looked back at him to see him already with his boxers on and his head leaning on the wall. He rubbed his face and kissed his teeth.
"Argh, shit man." He said in anger, screwing thin air. I looked away and he kept mumbling different things.
"Sorry." I said quietly.
"Nahh it's cool, just my luck init." He said sitting down on the bed and putting his head in his hands. I cleared my throat and it was silent for a few minutes. I was just thinking to myself as I bit my lip. I'm such a cow, how could I betray Aaron like this, not only him but Chloe too? This is her own brother and here I was in his room doing this, unbelievable. I felt so ashamed. He finally brought his face up and noticed the shameful tear that slowly trickled down my cheek. "Why you crying Stace? I'm the one who has to lose someone important to me." He sighed. I stared at him and it hadn't clicked in my mind what he was saying just yet.
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you think I wanted to know how you felt? Here's me thinking 'yeahh, maybe she's still on man, we could start a ting now' and then I hear you have a man?" I slowly raised an eyebrow.
"So wait... you actually like me?" He shrugged.
"It's been awhile but I put it to the back of my mind. Then I saw you before and everything came back. You're different, I've known you for time now, its fucked." He sighed and fell back onto his bed. I didn't know what to say or do, Javon actually likes me, at the wrong time aswell. I breathed deeply and couldn't help but feel bad about all this. I finally understood why he done all these things to me. Why he held me in a certain way, and touched me, and looked at me with lustful eyes. Javon... likes... me?
Me of all people?
Me?
I didn't know what to say...
"Sorry." I said again. He sat up and his face softened slightly, he shook his head.
"It's alright Stace, you didn't know," he smiled weakly, I could tell it was forced, "you should go though." I nodded slowly and fixed my skirt. I thought whether I should say bye or not but it was best that I didn't. He collapsed back on his bed and covered his face. I went to his door and opened it. "Stace." I turned back to him and he was still in the same position. "Any time, holla." That's all he said. I nodded and left his room then left the house.
Aaron came over the next day after I had my shift. We were in my room kissing, and have been for over 5 minutes now. David was at the pub and mum was at work, I had the house to myself for atleast another half hour, which was good. But I couldn't help but think of Javon this whole time though, I just could not get him out of my head and it was frustrating me. Guilt was hanging over me and was making my brain hurt. I did the right thing though didn't I? If I never stopped Javon yesterday who knows what would have happened? I stopped him just in time.
But then again I didnt really want to...
It was for Aaron's sake. I can't hurt him like that, he didn't deserve it. I must admit, despite the hornyness and the fact that he always wanted to have sex, Aaron was a terrific boyfriend. I still couldn't believe I would betray him in such a way. He pulled away and sighed. I noticed his face was different, there was no longer a trace of happiness, he was in thought mode.
"Aaron?" He sighed and looked me in the eye. It's as if he knew what I had done, I was beginning to panic. Did he know?
"I have to tell you something." He said quietly. I sat back and peered at him. He appeared so upset, seeing him like this made me regret what I had done even more. I'm a horrible human being.
"What is it?" He sighed and finally looked up at me, his whole face drowned in sorrow.
"I'm a bad person Stace." He whispered. Odd, I should be saying that. I raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"I done something I shouldn't have, and I can't stop thinking about it. All this time my conscience has been nagging me, telling me to let you know." I blinked.
"Your scaring me. Just tell me." He took a deep breath and sighed.
"I slept with another girl."
...
Emptyness.
That's all I felt.
I didn't know what else to feel.
I blinked a couple of times and it was as if my throat was swelling up,
As well as my eyes.
"You... you what?" I croaked, uncertain of what I had heard. Did I hear right though? Did I not hear correctly?
"I'm so sorry Stacey." He said quietly.
"You cheated on me?" I asked, shocked. He came closer.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, it was just the moment. She isn't important to me."
"You cheated on me." I said again, ignoring everything else he had to say.
"I never meant to hurt you babe." He came closer and held me, "I'm so sorry, forgive me Stace, please."
"You cheated on me."
"I dunno what came over me. After it happened I couldn't stop thinking about you and how stupid I was. I really was stupid to do it, I wasn't thinking straight. She just happened to be there."
"Okay." I had different feelings and thoughts swirling around inside of me, like a bad tyrant that I couldn't get rid of. I wanted to express myself fully and curse him till the cows came home, but for some reason I was frozen.
Was I relieved?
Was I pissed off?
Was I grateful that he done it cos it made me feel less guilty?
What am I feeling right now?
"Let go of me." I said quietly. He quickly let go and I noticed he was crying.
"Please Stacey, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I swear."
"Are you that much of a nympho that you have to have sex with another girl?" I asked staring right at him. He sniffed.
"No, I dunno what's wrong with me. I never meant to hurt you."
"Well you did. Please leave." He wiped his eyes.
"Stacey please."
"Go." He sniffed and stood up.
"You can't do this, lemme explain."
"I already have. Get out Aaron, please, I'm not gonna say it again." He suddenly dropped down to his knees.
"We can work this out right? It's just you and me. I won't even look at another girl, c'mon Stace-"
"AARON GET THE HELL OUT!" I shouted in his face. I slapped him hard on the cheek causing his whole face to turn sideways from the impact. I could have sworn it ricocheted and bounced off the walls. He stayed frozen for a few minutes before slowly standing up.
"I'm sorry." He said once more before picking his stuff up and leaving. I heard the front door slam seconds later. Silence filled the air. I didn't move. I didn't blink. I didn't breathe. I just sat there. After a whole 15 minutes of being a statue I stood up and got my phone and picked it up before plonking back onto my bed. My mascara had run and my head was throbbing from all the silent tears. My vision was still blury as I searched for his number. I found it and pressed the green phone.
Ring...
Ring...
Ring...
C'mon pick up...
Javon: "Stace?" I sniffed.
Me: "Can I come over?"
Javon: "It's late b."
Me: "Please?" He sighed.
Javon: "Aight, Chloe just left anyway. Come then." I locked off and stuffed my phone in my pocket. I put on my hoody and slipped on my pumps then went downstairs. Luckily mum or David ain't back yet. I took my keys and oyster card before slipping out the back door and walking to the bus stop.
I guess you can say that I under-reacted..
There was a reason.
Now that I'm gonna see Javon,
I'm sure he'll cheer me up and mend my broken heart...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hah! Javon likes her, and Damien.
Aaron cheated! I knew that would happen... Bastard.
I love Nathan, he's so awesome without reason.
Tyler thinks Becc's is nice! Haha, he won't get her..
Comments and votes would be nice ! :)