Chapter 3
"Oh mother, I missed you so much, and you'll never believe what I found out..." I stopped hugging her and took a step back. What was wrong with her? Why wasn't my mom hugging me back? She's probably still in shock, otherwise she would have hugged me back, right? So many questions were whirling around my head that I forgot about the hot, young guy who was standing next to my mom, with his arms around her waist...
His arms around HER WAIST?
WTF? And HOT too? Since when did she have a hot boyfriend? He doesn't look like the guy she left my dad for...
"ermm...Raven?" the hot guy said.
"Just give me a moment honey," my mom said, turning her face to place a wet, sloppy kiss on his mouth, tongues and everything. I mentally started to gag. I mean, that was just gross, not only because she was my mom, but also because the guy/boy looked so damn young, that I couldn't help but think that he was more likely be dating girls my age and not hers, imagining me instead of her, in his strong looking tanned arms...
Eww that's grosser then them kissing. I made a mental note to never think intimate thoughts about any of my mom's boyfriends again.
As I came out of my day dream, I realised my mom was there staring at me.
"What? Don't you remember me?" I asked
"Stacey? Wow you've grown up. How old are you now? 15? 16?"
I couldn't believe what I just heard. And I'm not talking about the fact that she asked for my age, even though that kind of hurts too, no, it was how she reacted to seeing me for almost 14 years, coming up with only an "wow how old are you?". No hugs. No kisses.
I felt stung. How could she abandon me for a guy/boy, and not even feel ashamed about it, as she so sexually proved just then. I started to get angry then, how dare she leave my dad and break his heart for a dumb guy who looks as if he just graduated from high school?
"Is Alex my birth dad?"
Yes I came right out and said it. That's what anger does to me, along with the icy voice. Also the urge to kick something, but, thankfully, I was able to control that urge.
"no." she just said, calmly, like we were just having a normal conversation, and not one that involved my future life.
I was so shocked that it took me a few long seconds to realise that my mouth was hanging open, letting a few flies explore around. That was the thought that brought me back to the present.
"What?" I just asked, dropping my icy voice to the one that I use when I'm totally confused, aka like right now.
"He isn't your real father, and before you ask, i am your real mother. I've got tapes of me giving birth if you want to see and check...no? Okay good just wanted to get that out of the way, so, what do you want to know?" Raven, my mom, asked.
"Explain."
"Okay well I'll tell you how you ended up living with a man who you assumed was your dad. When I was around your age, 15, I got pregnant, Tomas, his name was. I had met him at this new club; I was the type to like partying and everything..."
I didn't dare interrupt her, even though I felt like screaming at her to get on with the story. I was scared that if I said anything she would stop talking.
"Well anyway, I and a bunch of my friends went to check it out, all dressed up and glamorous. I was dancing when I first saw him. He stood out from the crowd, and not because he was so good looking, it was the way he was standing, sober and not wasting himself like a lunatic like most of the guys around him. He was the only sober one from his friends, just like I was the only sober one from my friends. It was love at first sight. He was just so fine, that I ignored the rule of letting the boy make the move first and just rushed over to him. We started talking, him with his sexy Italian accent, and me with my normal American accent, and found a lot of stuff in common that i thought, wow I HAD to have him.
"And then he tells me he's got a family, after 2 years of dating and getting me pregnant. He told me he had a wife and a two year old kid back in Italy. I was, obviously, heartbroken, and just ran away without telling him.
"I found myself in front of Alex's door, my childhood neighbour and friend. He was good at listening to me ramble, reassuring me, and just being there for me. He was always there when I needed him, and he was still there when I came to him, a pregnant girl, the same who he had always liked. He welcomed me with open arms, something my parents failed. I thought I loved him. I only found out my love for him was just friendship love when it was too late, two years into marriage with a two year old daughter who never left her dads side.
"I couldn't take you away from him. So I just left him and left you with him. And I know that it breaks his heart every time he sees me or thinks of me, which is why I didn't come and see you on your birthdays or at Christmas, or even for the last 14 and a half years."
"You count the halves?" I asked incredulously, since I was too shocked to think of anything else.
My mom just started laughing. Long, hard laughs that made her body shake and make her even more beautiful. I never knew someone in their 30s could still look that good.
Her laugh was contagious, so it wasn't long before I started laughing too. All the hatred I felt for my mom vanished as we laughed. People started to give us funny looks so we pulled ourselves together. Breathlessly I turned to my mom and asked her the question that was nagging me since she told me that story. "So, um, is he still alive?"
"Well last news I heard about him was that he was going back to Italy, and that he changed all his information, including his phone number. So I have no address or phone number of him. But the only info I'm still pretty sure about is his name, which hopefully, he hadn't changed too." She laughed, but not like the laugh we just had, more like a forced laugh.
"I want to talk to him." I said, surprising myself by sounding braver then I felt.
"I think you should talk to your dad about it first."
I felt my blood starting to boil, my jaw clenching and unclenching. "Why shall I? He's not my real dad, and in a few months he won't even be my legal guardian anymore.
Anyway, isn't it bad enough that he didn't even tell me? I'm going to find Tomas's real address and go and live with him."
"Honey, you can't do that, he lives in Italy, remember? And besides, he has a family too. What are you going to say when you show up at his doorstep and his wife or his son answers? What lie will you tell them? Because I don't think that he actually told them about you. It's true he wanted you when you were still a little baby, but I don't know about now. I just really don't want you to get hurt, to face getting rejected by your biological dad. Also what are you going to tell Alex? You can't just tell him you're going to Tomas, it'll break his heart, and you know that Alex can't have kids."
She did have a point. This only added to my anger. But this time it wasn't directed at Tomas or my mom, or even Alex. I was angry at myself.
How could I be so stupid and selfish, thinking only of myself, not even paying attention the fact that Alex couldn't have kids, me being the only daughter he had.
But now I know, even I wasn't his real daughter, I was someone else's daughter, not even his, but he still took care of me, brought me up in a healthy environment, never said no to anything I asked for, even if it meant he got lesser food to eat. I can't believe I only thought about the bad things he did, and, to be honest, it was only one thing.
Keeping my real dad a secret.
"So what do you want me to do?" I asked.
"I want you to go back to your dad, Alex I mean, and I want you to talk to him and get permission off him to go and visit your dad. Try and say it as nicely as you can and don't go on too much about me, okay? Good girl. And now I must get going, but before I go can I ask you a question?" She looked so curious that it made me want to know the question.
"Sure go ahead, Raven." She gave a low laugh before she got serious again.
"Well what I really wanted to know is how you knew, I mean it couldn't have been your birth certificate since I know Alex hides that in the safe at the bank... and well you haven't met Tomas so he wouldn't have told you. These are the only people who know, apart from me. So how did you know?" my mom asked.
With the shock and everything I hadn't thought about the phone call from Mary, the scene between my best friend and crush, the way I watched them with Laura...
"Oh shit!" I forgot about Laura. Shit! She probably thinks aliens abducted me or something. "Listen mom, I have to go, I left my friend, and I didn't tell my dad I was coming here and they're probably freaking out now..."
"Calm down. Take a deep breath in and out. Now what time did your dad expect you home?" my mom sounded so calm and in charge that she almost made me relax.
Almost.
"I...me and Laura...we...oh mommy!" I broke off with a big sob and immediately her arms went around me, cradling me like a baby, comforting me for the first time in my life.
"Shush now, Stacey, big girls don't cry, they face the problem calmly with no snots involved."
She said the snot line with the same tone of voice she used while comforting me that I burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, runny nose and all.
At first, my mom tried to keep a straight face, but soon even she couldn't handle it and started laughing too.
Every time one of us would stop laughing, the other would giggle and set us off again. Pretty soon I had tears running down my face, but this time they were tears of laughter.
My mom was the first one to get her giggles under control.
"I need to get going before Chris gets paranoid."
"Chris? Is that your boyfriend?" I asked, puzzled because 'Chris' didn't look like the kind of boy to get paranoid.
"Don't let looks fool you, Stace, especially around guys. Anyway, I just want you to go home, and don't mention me or Tomas yet. We'll talk about everything later, 'Kay? And you don't mind me calling you Stace, right?"
"Nope I don't mind at all, Ray." she gave me one last hug and then turned around and left me to face the music alone...