"I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless
hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't
know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made
for loving you"
~ Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran
An Early Christmas
"Jordan-" Eli raised a hand towards him.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit," he chanted repeatedly, his voice getting louder and louder each time. His face was very pale against the darkness of his room. He looked at the both of us in horror and moaned, "Oh, God, no."
"...It's all a dream?" I weakly suggested again.
"No, this is not happening," Jordan groaned louder.
Eli and I looked at each other and I wildly ushered my hands at her to do something. Anything. She gave me a confused, frantic look in response before turning to look at the still-cursing Jordan. He knew quite a colourful vocabulary for someone who had just properly woken up.
Eli suddenly lurched towards him and kissed him on the mouth, instantly and effectively silencing him. My eyes widened in shock. That was certainly not what I had in mind. What was she doing?! I shook my head and focused on the situation at hand, straining my ears to hear any signs that we had woken up anyone. Thankfully, the house remained silent and still.
I looked back at Eli to tell her that she could stop her distraction. But they were in a different world entirely. They ignored me, seemingly glued to each other's mouth. I cleared my throat to get their attention but to no avail. They were both focused on nothing but each other. We were supposed to be stealing the book to make it up to both Wes AND Jordan and yet here was Eli skipping all the steps in between and kissing Jordan!
I decided to take advantage of her distraction and walked back to the closet, reaching for the folder. It was still just out of reach! I turned back to the couple and it did not seem like they were to stop anytime soon. Oh well. My eyes scanned Jordan's room and soon they found his study chair. Aha, that would definitely work! I dragged his chair to the closet and stood up on it, finally reaching for the party folder.
I wasn't sure if Jordan remembered what had happened before he realised that this wasn't actually a dream or if the embarrassment overrode our questions about the folder. Still, I didn't want to take the risk. I dumped the folder over the window where we would be leaving and turned back around. I tapped my foot impatiently against the carpeted floor as I tried to look at anywhere but at the couple making out in front of me during our burglary escapade.
Finally, they broke apart, both panting heavily and looking at each other in shock. Oh no...I really hoped they weren't both going to regret this again. However the shocked expressions on both their faces quickly turned to pure happiness and elation. I sighed in relief. They smiled as they held onto each other.
"Whooooo!" I cheered, soundlessly clapping.
They both finally looked at me and Eli rolled her eyes.
"Way to ruin the moment, Kitty," Eli replied sarcastically. But the moment she turned her eyes back to Jordan and they instantly lit up in pure happiness.
"I was already in the moment to begin with!" I exclaimed.
"Wait, what're you both doing here?" Jordan asked. I opened my mouth to respond but he gave me a stern look, "For real this time." I smiled sheepishly in response.
"You see, Kitty screwed up," Eli told him, moving to get off Jordan's bed. "So she-"
"So I wanted to ask you how I could get him to talk to me," I interjected, giving Eli a pointed look. I still wanted to keep the party a secret. Eli nodded, catching on.
"In the middle of the night?" Jordan raised an eyebrow at us. "When you could have easily asked me in a few hours at school?"
"Well Eli was keen to see you," I winked at the both of them and they immediately flushed.
"Well," Jordan cleared his throat. "Wes was pretty upset. I've never seen him give up on anything before."
"She really screwed up, didn't she?" Eli added. Jordan nodded in agreement.
"You know, you two really deserve each other," I replied sarcastically. "You two both have a knack of saying the most helpful things!"
"It's a gift," Jordan smirked at me, nudging Eli as they both laughed at me.
I rolled my eyes at them. Jordan's smile faltered and his expression grew serious as he gave me a considering look.
"Wes screwed up by not telling you about Rene," Jordan rectified himself. "I told him to but he just wouldn't listen. I think he was too afraid of what you might think of him. But you have to know that what happened that day was not his fault."
Jordan paused. I knew he didn't want to be telling me this, that it was not his place to do so. But he had to do.
"You see, Wes rarely talks about Rene. He never even told me what had happened all those years ago. But he was afraid of losing you so after what had happened, he finally gathered the courage to talk about it. But you rejected him more than once. And I think that's really hard for him to handle."
I opened my mouth to retaliate, that I had good reason for believing what I had but Jordan cut me to the chase.
"I'm not blaming you. What you saw must not have been easy to deal with. But you rejecting him when he was finally ready to open up was also really hard for him. You have to understand that."
There was a lump in my throat that I was unable to swallow. If I had felt bad before, it was nothing compared to what I had felt now. My heart squeezed in pain of the pride it had latched onto. The pride that forced me to reject Wes, to avoid dad and to lie to Eli. Pride was my worst enemy and here, I faced its consequences.
Just then a little toddler slipped in silently through the door. It was a little girl, holding a brown fluffy teddy in the crook of her arm as she waddled further into the room, looking around.
"Santa?" she asked, her eyes wide as she looked in between all of us, as though we were hiding Santa somewhere.
"No Santa here, Stells," Jordan said calmly, patting her head. "It's still October."
"Are you sure? I thought I heards him?" she pouted. She then looked at Eli and I, "Did you see him?"
Eli crouched down next to Stella, "No, but I'll make sure to tell him you were looking for him if I do see him."
"Pwomise?" her innocent eyes made you just want to promise her anything and everything.
"Promise," Eli nodded solemnly. "But, only if you don't tell anyone about our little secret."
"Secret?" her eyes twinkled in excitement. "I lowve secrets!"
"This is an important secret," Eli nodded seriously. Stella nodded furtively, eagerly waiting for Eli to go on. "The secret it that this is all a dream."
"Really? You're doing that again?" Jordan rolled his eyes. I don't think he'd ever forgive us for the joke we pulled on him.
"Like you're complaining about how it turned out," I winked at him. Stella nodded and ambled out of the room as suddenly as she walked in. I gave Jordan and Eli a weird look.
Jordan shrugged his shoulders. Both he and Eli shared a look and only said in explanation, "Stella." But they continued to look at each other, slowly getting absorbed with each other and ignoring me again.
"Annddd that's my cue," I said slyly, causing both Eli and Jordan to blush again.
"Come on, let's go, sleep deprivation's getting to you," Eli rolled her eyes, grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the window.
Once we were in the car, Eli turned to me and shouted, "What the hell? Why did you stop me from telling him about the party so we could get the folder?! That was the whole point of this whol-"
I pulled out the party planning folder from my jacket and onto her lap before she could finish her ranting.
Her mouth popped into an 'o' before falling into silence.
"Yes, while you were too busy sucking out his soul from his mouth," I said sardonically. "I managed to grab this."
"I was distracting him for you?" she smiled sheepishly.
I couldn't help it. I squealed.
"Eli! Does this mean-!" I shrieked.
"I don't know!" she equally shrieked with excitement.
"So it's not going to be a mistake like the last time?" I sobered up. I had to make sure that this was what she really wanted.
"No! It felt right, Kitty!" my question didn't quieten her shrieking. A really good sign. "I've never felt so alive!"
"That's how distractions usually go," I grinned at her. She laughed, shoving me and I shrieking, clutching onto the steering wheel.