What Hurts The Most: Number 14
Four Months Later
I sighed as I dropped all the groceries to the floor; I was really tired and Robert made me go get some last minute groceries that we all needed. My parents’ business trip has been extended for a little longer since they needed more time to negotiate some things.
“I’m home,” I yelled when I entered the house.
It was pitch black, which was strange. I rolled my eyes and turned on the lights.
“SURPRISE!”
I screamed, dropping all the groceries and covering my mouth with my hands.
Logan came running towards me, his arms wide open. I opened my arms as well and gave him in a hug.
“Happy surprise baby shower,” VeeAnn smiled at me and came towards me.
I smiled back at her and gave her a hug. “Oh, my gosh, thank you so much!”
She nodded and smiled, her arm around my shoulders.
I started sobbing, making VeeAnn, Robert, VeeAnn’s mom, and Logan give me a strange look.
“Are you crying?” Robert asked, still giving me a strange look, and coming toward me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, fanning myself to stop the tears, even though it wouldn’t work. “I –just- didn’t think that you guys would do this! I would’ve thought you guys forgot about baby showers and let me rot and die alone with a baby.”
Everybody started chuckling and shaking their heads at me.
VeeAnn’s mom said, “T’aw, honey, don’t think that! You are daughter to me, and since, VeeAnn and that Austinkid planned this.”
“Mom,” VeeAnn huffed, “he’s the boy I’ve been telling you about. Don’t mention it to her.” She whispered in her mom’s ear, but I could still hear what she said.
“Well, uh, I think he’s name was Austin, it was probably, Maximums. You never know.” She did a shrug and walked into the kitchen.
~*
“Sorry for being late!” Tyler and Zach came running into the living room with so many boxes in their hands.
“We had to get everything that would look cute on your little baby girl, so just had to get it and,” Zach said, eyeing me, “let me say, they are adorable. I suddenly love baby shopping.”
Zach and I are on good terms now; we are practically brother-and-sister terms now. We both put the bad days behind us and forgot about everything that happened. We now it happened, but it doesn’t matter because its in the back.
I rolled my eyes at them, “Guys, you seriously didn’t have to get that many things. It’s nothing. I mean, one or three outfits, but not the whole baby section.”
“But,” Tyler pouted, “They aren’t returnable.”
“Yeah they are.” Zach said.
Tyler slapped him in the stomach and said, “No, no they aren’t.”
“Oh, yeah; they aren’t.” Zach slowly caught on.
“Thank you guys for bringing them in for me, I couldn’t have done it without you guys.” Austin came waltzing in the house, standing by the door frame.
He changed. He now had a long torso; his hair was let in its natural state, curly, and was wearing black jeans with a pink Truckfit shirt and shoes.
“We are having a girl, right? Cause if it’s a boy, I can change in a blue shirt,” Austin awkwardly said.
“No, it-it’s okay.” I shook my head at him. “And yeah, it’s a girl.”
He slowly nodded and sat down next to VeeAnn.
“Did you tell her that I planned everything and invited only our group?” Austin whispered to VeeAnn, but I could hear the conversation clearly.
“Just, shut up. You said you weren’t going to show up, so, why are you here?” VeeAnn shot back at him.
“It’s my baby shower too, not just hers.” He growled. “Our baby also has my genes, not just hers. So, like you said, shut up.”
I tried to fight back my smile, but I couldn’t. Zach saw me smiling and raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I felt her move.”
Zach smiled really big and nodded.
Everybody was excited about me having the baby that they would literally try sleeping in the same bed with me just to talk to her or feel her move. They might as well share breaths with her.
“Okay, so Sarah she wouldn’t be able to make it because her grandparents are in town, but she wishes you the best of luck today opening her present that she got you.” Tyler smiled at me then went cross eyed.
I shook my head at them and suddenly felt awkward. This was my baby shower and I was doing absolutely nothing; I had no idea what to do.
“Well, we should start opening the presents, because we are going to play games later.” VeeAnn smiled and started getting presents and putting them in front of me.
There were so many presents; some were really big, others were really small. There was one that was literally wrapped into a car seat, and I knew immediately Zach wrapped it.
~*
“So, how are you doing?” Austin asked me once the baby shower was over. I was washing the dishes since that was the only thing they would let me do.
“Pretty good, I guess. Two more months and then I’ll be able to hold my little baby girl, Ellalisbeth.”
“Ellalisbeth?”Austin looked at me weird. “I thought we were going to name her together.”
“Well, since I did text you about fifty times everyday, filled up your voice mail box, and constantly direct messaged you, I would’ve thought you got the messages of names I suggested.” I rambled and bit my tongue so I wouldn’t say something I didn’t mean.
“I did text you!” he screamed and threw a plate on the floor.
Shit.
“Yeah, it said ‘Whatever you want, babe.’ Wonderful text right there.”
He screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Why are you always up my ass?! Its always you, you, you! You wanted to have a baby, I gave you a baby, what else do you fucking want?”
“I want you to love me as much as I love you!” I screamed and quickly shut my mouth.
He let out a groan, “Not this again.”
“I gave everything to you, everything, and all I get in return is a stupid little text. What happened these past three-to-five months? Was I not good enough for you to text me? Was it because I was pregnant with your child? What was it, Austin? What was it? What was it?” I screamed at him, I was about to scream again before Austin screamed at me.
“I fell in love with somebody else!” he screamed.
I dropped the plates that were in my hands and everybody came running into the kitchen.
“What happened?” Robert asked.
“Get out.” I whispered. I looked up and saw Austin grab his keys and look me dead in the eye.
“Text me.” And he left, once again.
I turned back to the sink and took deep breaths and tried to control my anger.
“Claire, w-what happened? Did he say something to upset you?” VeeAnn put her hand on my shoulder.
“All of you knew! I know you did! That’s why you didn’t want him to visit or me to visit him! It’s because you all knew!” I turned around and shoved VeeAnn’s hand off my shoulder.
All their heads turned to the floor and started walking out of the kitchen.
“I hate all of you! All of you!” I screamed at them and threw a plate to the wall, close to Zach’s head. He whipped his head towards me. “I hate every single one of you! I cried for days, for Austin, and you guys knew all along.”
“Claire,” Zach whispered with begging eyes.
“I’m going to talk to Austin. I’ll be back.” I said and grabbed my car keys.
“You’re pregnant.” Zach said once I left the kitchen and was almost at the door.
I walked to the door and opened it; I looked back at Zach and said, “And you lied and cheated on me.”
~*
I was about to knock on the door but it was open a little bit.
“He probably saw my truck,” I whispered under my breath.
I used to visit his house all the time when he was on tour. It made me feel safe, somehow, like he was always with me.
I heard noises and started walking towards his room.
He was making out with Miranda.
“I love you, Austin.” She said and took off his shirt.
Don’t say it back, please, don’t say back Austin.
He let out a chuckle, “I love you, Miranda.” and kissed her neck.
Anger, disappointment, and defeat all were felt in my heart. Tears streamed down my face, and made everything blurry. I grabbed the lamp and threw it at the wall above them, so it wouldn’t really hurt them.
“W-what?” Austin pulled away from her and turned his head towards me.
“I guess what you and me had was just a little fling.” I screamed at him and walked out of the house.
“She’s pregnant,” I heard Miranda whisper at Austin.
I slammed the door when I walked out of the house. I opened my car door and quickly got in, locked all the doors and turned on the radio pretty high. Austin came out of the house, with the same pink shirt he wore for the baby shower. He came towards my window and started tapping it. Once he noticed I wouldn’t pay attention to him, he started pounding on it, tears streaming down his face and shouting my name.
“Claire! Claire, please, let me talk!” He shouted and kept pounding on the window.
I put the car in reverse and started driving out of the driveway.
Austin kept pounding on the window and kept shouting my name.
Once I was completely out of the driveway and onto to the road, I finally turn towards him and say, “Don’t get her pregnant. Nobody deserves your child, you jerk.” I started driving away from his house, and he chased the car.
Even him chasing the car, he wouldn’t catch up to me. I turned down the radio and just let my sobs be heard in the empty car. It didn’t matter anymore; Austin didn’t matter anymore; I didn’t matter anymore to Austin.
I was one streetlight away from my neighborhood, until a two cars slammed into me, on both sides. I don’t know if the light was red or green, before I could know the color, I slipped out of conscious.
~*
~*
“Claire, if you hear me, please, wake up; please.” A voice whispered in my ear. Robert. “Claire, please, I-I need you, I need my older sister; Logan needs you, Saint needs you, I need you.” he sobbed into my hand.
I opened my eyes, slowly and looked at Robert. His hair was a mess, his face was stained with tears, and his shirt had food stains.
“Robert,” I croaked, my voice was raspy.
He looked up and cried even more, “Sister.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.
“W-why am I here?”
“Y-you got in a really bad car accident, and have been unconscious for three days. I-I didn’t know if you were going to be alive.”
“Ellalisbeth.” I randomly said.
Robert gave me a sad look, “Claire, she-she,” he stumbled on words. “You lost her in the accident. You had a miscarriage.”
My walls, my world fell to the ground. I started sobbing, covering my face with my hands and just cried.
“I’ll leave you alone.” Robert patted my back and left the room.
I removed my hands from my face and just stared at the white wall, thinking about Ellalisbeth.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” I said, wiping the tears off my face.
Austin appeared in front of me. “Nobody let me near you or know anything. How’s Ellalisbeth.”
I gave him the dirtiest look, “You killed her. You and Miranda killed her. I had a miscarriage.”
T h e E n d
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its over. oh my god. its over. the sequel ‘Missed A Beat’ will be posted, later this year i hope.
hey can you guys do me a favor? I struggled through depression and I didn’t really tell anybody (my friends already –somewhat- knew) and I told my friend, Nicholas, and he really helped me—he saved my life basically. I always message him on twitter that I want to do this big thing for him as a thank you and I haven’t really done it, and that’s were you guys come in.
if you have a twitter, please tweet!:
@Nickbt22 thank you for helping her @SammMahomie
please?! I’ll follow whoever tweets it, I just really want to do this for him. And DON’T reply back to him, just tweet him once or twice –the same tweet0- and that’s it.
LOVE YOU GUYS!
-Austin_Mahomie